Scarlet POV (June 2021)
Sister were complaining that I wasn’t doing the chores. It was she who skipped them not me. How she got the nerve to complain me? I am sick and tired of these people. I wish I had someone to share these burdens.
You have Pathum.
For God’s sake if he’s the last human left in the Earth I wouldn’t still choose to be with him. Not him. Not after everything he did to me. How the heck does he the nerve to ask for forgiveness? And how could he expect me to forgive me for all the pain he caused in my life including the separation of my bonds with my sister and mother.
He might have strengthened my bond with dad but still what did I got from it?
Absolutely nothing.
He deserve forgiveness
He do not. HE DO NOT. For God’s sake he do not. Stop the rubbish.
I clutched my head and slammed my fist on the table which eventually grabbed mom’s attention without glance. She always noticed when I do something wrong. For God’s sake did I even did a wrong thing.
I know who’s responsible for all these mess. That narcissist idiot!
He loves you!
Love me?
Yes he loves you a lot!
No he don’t.
You must go back to him. Out of all the people in this world he deserve your love
But God I can’t go back to him, I broke up with him. I miss him but atleast I go to sleep in peace. No sobbing, no hurting , no pain and most importantly no nervous breakdowns all thanks to my decision to stay away from him.
But it hurts. He keeps texting me with a ton of messages and says sorry for all the hurt he gave me. But he doesn’t deserve my kindness not after calling me a bitch! He purposely called me a bitch a hundred times and all he does afterwards was give lame excuses saying it was his anger and OCD.
He need to grow up just like Abigail says. He isn’t the only one to go through OCD.
Scarlet this is so wrong!
No you shut up. Shut the hell up. He deserve nothing. He do not deserve my kindness. He used me. He used me for his purposes and destroyed me. He ruined my happiness and blocked my paths to freedom. He took me aaway from God. he distanced me from God. He do not deserve my love. He’s the last person I would go give my heart just so that he could call me bitch when stuff doesn’t go his way.
But his love is not fake. He loves you truly. Your anger and misunderstanding has clouded his true identity. Please love him back.
Tears flooded my eyes when good happy memories of him came back into my head. I couldn’t stop the flow of tears that cascaded down through my cheeks.
He must have been crying for you. Wanting you back in his life. Please go back to him.
But I can’t. He’s abusive. I don’t want my children to suffer because of us, because of someone like him. He give my dad vibes, he looks and behaves like my dad. What if he becomes like my dad? I don’t want to live with someone like that. Someone who doesn’t know to love and hug us. Someone who does not know what’s it like to have a family. Someone who doesn’t show his love.
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Pathum ain’t like your dad. He is a better version than any man that has come into your life, Scarlet please trust me. God wants you back with him.
If God wants me back with him then i am sure God is wrong. God has made a mistake.
But God doesn’t make mistakes.
exactly ! he does not. And neither do I . I am not going back to him.
After finishing my chores I took a shower. It was a cold day so was water. Freezing cold and for a moment I never felt that coldness maybe cause his abusive nature has erased all my sensors that feel things. I just don’t know but for whatever reason I never felt pity for him.
He also had send a new polo on Marco polo. And it’s funny if he thinks I am going to watch his crap. I am not going to fall for his fake love. He probably would say lies he would not be able to keep up with just like always.
He did texted me a load of messages in all the apps he talk but I cleareed the notifications without even looking at those messages. Because that’s all bullshit.
He hurt me and now he acts like i hurt him. I hate him. I hate him for his childish immature behaviour. I nhate him for acting like he did nothing wrong. I hate him for apologising as if he is innocent.
Why the heck did I ever fell in love with someone like him in the first? Maybe it’s true what my sister told I was blind for his love. I mean it’s not like he is handsome or something. Just the sight of him and his voice make me vomit. I don’t know why I feel like that way but it is. I don’t want to see him. I broke up with him and I stay stern on that decision.
The next morning when I got up I got a new message in google hangouts. The first thing I did when I wake up was clearing those notifications from him, I didn’t even glanced at any of them because I know he is playing victim and trying bring me back into his wreacked life. Someone new has found my contact and texted me, I replied back.
Scarlet : Hi!
Gayathri : Hi HI angel!
No it can’t be. Is it her?
Scarlet : Mom?
Is it really her? Why would she text me? I know exactly why. That freaking thing-
Gayathri ; hey daughter it’s me, how you doing ?
Scarlet ; hey mom! I am good how are you doing?
Gayathri ; I wanna talk to you about something.
Scarlet ; what’s up ? mom
Gayathri ; what happened between you two ?
Scarlet ; nothing happened . I decided I am taking a break from him.
Gayathri ; you don’t have to do that gem.
Scarlet ; I am not anybody’s gem. Besides I know my decision is right, he cannot hurt me this way he needs to stop it and he wasn’t going to so I decided imma stay away from him.
Gayathri ; you know he loves you right?
Scarlet ; maybe.
Gayathri ; daughter please don’t talk this way, you know he loves you so much right ?
Scarlet ; it don’t matter anyway .
Gayathri ; why not darling?
Scarlet ; he hurts me all the time.
Gayathri ; he hurts me all the time but I stays with him, the more you stay the more you understand him and so you slowly understand him and he slowly begin to take control of himself.
Scarlet ; I can't do this anymore mom, I am sorry.
Gayathri ; you know he loves you
Scarlet ; like I said it don’t matter. I am done, I might talk to him when I can . please stop forcing me.
Gayathri ; I understand darling, you can take your time I will be here if you need any help.
Who knows whether its him or not? Who knows that he is just pretending as his mom? but I doubt it in some way , he is really not that type of a boy , I know he is honest and true. He wouldnt do such things. But I feel like I don’t feel him anymore. You know he could be doing all tricks to put me under his spells , poor boy he needs to understand that I got nothing to do with him like I used to, I just need space. And I highly doubt whether he understand it or not.
Thank you so much for reading!
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