4

  I took a moment to adjust myself. Everything within these past few weeks has been just a whirlwind. I don’t even think I’ve had a moment to catch my breath. How long has it been since I ate? How long has it been since I even bathed myself? Was Kaje alright? He hadn’t woken up for the past few days. What if he wasn’t ok? What would happen to me? Would I slowly wither? Or, would it happen instantly? I took a long breath, and closed my eyes.

  Calm yourself Winrad. I thought to myself. Keep calm. It’s all behind you now, Kaje will be okay, he must be okay. I opened up my eyes again. The palace looked so beautiful this time of year. Especially the parts that I never saw too much of. Being locked in the library for most of my life. Did Pulchra see this every day? She must have, but I wasn’t jealous, more happy for her. Should I be jealous of her? I didn’t feel like I should.

  Pulchra swung the door open, she must have known I was waiting out here. She must have sensed it. Although I was much more attuned to the natural magics of the world, ice, lighting, and fire. She was more attuned to the energies that every person had inside of them, their thoughts, fears, and desires. It’s what the people said made her such a great queen. Hard to believe that should have been me. I still can’t quite wrap my head around it all. A few weeks ago, I and Kaje were just exploring the wilderness, trying to find any hints of The Fallen Petals around us. Now, Kaje was, is? On his deathbed, Tyrannus knows of Kaje’s true nature, well, who didn’t now? Being the Aspect of Death put a target on his back. I’m thankful that Pulchra still would hear us out, or hear me out.

  “Winrad,” Pulchra said. “I need to speak with you urgently.”

  “Alright,” I said, and followed her into the room.

  There were no guards here at all, something rare for what I heard. I remembered the times that I saw our mother. She had her guards alongside her everywhere she went, never leaving her side. Was it to protect her from me? Was she frightened of me? For what reason? Did she think I could actually harm her? Maybe I could. Perhaps I should have.

  Pulchra sat down on such an ornate seat. The gold trimmings of it flashed, even in a room with little light. Not to be understated by, the beauty of the table. Fine ivory, I believe, and stretched over ten feet long at least. And the smell in the air, lavender, that smell always followed Pulchra. When I first ran away, I thought that I would miss home, miss everybody within it. Miss the luxury of it all. But, being here, right now made me yearn once more for the wilds, and the beauty of it all I wanted to be out there again, like the figures of old, I wanted to be out there again with Kaje. I wondered just how many more of the greatest people in history felt similar to me? There was always the coming home at the end of it all. Or, not returning at all. I dearly wished that Kaje would be fine. Was this what Pulchra wanted to talk about? Maybe I could-

  “You’re in your head again? Aren’t you?” She asked me. I snapped back, my gaze had wandered to the corner of the room, Not even a spec of dust anywhere.

  “Overwhelming,” I said, and sat down, on a seat that was still beautiful in its own right, but not the same as Pulchra’s.

  Pulchra frowned. “I know Winrad, I know that more than others.” She told me. She took a sip from the glass closest to her. As is tradition, I also took a sip from the glass provided to me. “I wanted to, ask you something.” She said.

  I looked back up over at her. What was it she wanted to ask me? Where was I when our parents were killed? What about our little brother? Was it something else? Was I going to be punished for leaving? Was it something about Kaje? I took another long, deep breath. I cannot let my emotions overwhelm me now, don’t let it come out, not right now, something Mother always told me.

  “Winrad, I want to discuss the throne with you.” She said and stood up. “I, it’s not right, what happened to you Winrad, you were the firstborn, and I took that from you.”

  I stared right into her amber eyes. “Winrad, It’s yours if you want-”

  “No,” I muttered under my breath.

  Pulchra paused for a moment, staring back at me. “I’m not going to take your life from you,” I said. “We’re both victims of our parents, I won’t make you suffer for it,” I told her.

  “Winrad, but tradition-”

  “Traditions long since been broken, it was broken the day we were born,” I told her. She looked back at me. My mind was clear now. I’m happy right where I was. I didn’t want the throne. Maybe if the circumstances were different I might have wanted it, but I don’t, not now. All that matters now, is Kaje, Raldnech, and everybody else who stuck with us. I’m not going to sit back and not be on the front lines, not when I could do so much more. I took another breath. I know, in my heart, Kaje was alright. Every day my own strength returned, better. Our souls were bound, that was the only way that I could save him. And I would do it again.

  Pulchra sat back down. “Winrad… I don’t know what to even say.” She looked back up at me. “But, whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’ll make sure you can get it.”

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  I looked back at her. And nodded. Hopefully, I would never need to call upon her, or our people again, although, I would dearly love to see her, under a different circumstance of course.

  “You should be back with Kaje,” she said. “Be there when he wakes.” I was, appreciative, that she at least allowed Kaje to be nursed back to health here. I had no idea if she trusted him or not, but what I knew now, was that she trusted me more than I ever thought. I looked back up at her. She still looked speechless. Perhaps she would be for quite some time.

  —-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Kaje stirred more in his sleep. What was the first thing he would say to me when he woke up? I missed you? Can you get me some water? Where am I? What would I say to him when he woke? I guess I’ll find out soon enough. I noticed him muttering in his sleep. Then, a smile flittered across his face. I wondered just what he was dreaming about? Could he be dreaming even? He had been unconscious for the past few weeks at least. Then, he shot awake, his eyes were wide, and in shock. He was hyperventilating, and staring straight ahead.

  “Kaje!” I said, “Kaje it’s alright!” He stared right back at me, his breathing slowed, and his eyes narrowed.

  “Was I dead?” He asked me. That wasn’t something I was expecting at all.

  “I don’t believe so,” I said sarcastically. “I think you and I are both still alive.”

  He laid back down in the bed, his breathing was labored and heavy. “You don’t know just how happy I am to see you Winrad.” I approached him and leaned down. Our faces are now inches apart. He was the first one to make the move, and pressed his lips to mine. I missed that, so much. I still remember the first time it happened. It was, exhilarating. Something about the time, and the place made me much more bold, but I was happy that it did. Never before had I felt something like that, that tenderness, that vulnerability. Maybe it was the surroundings that I grew up in, but I never felt that intimacy before, that softness, that love. I broke the kiss. And let him have some more space.

  “Do you need something to drink?” I asked him, he nodded his head rapidly. I grabbed a cup, not nearly as ornate as the one that I saw before, but still more ornate than anything the humans have created. I conjured the air around me and condensed it into ice. Then, slowly steaming it into water droplets. I let some of the ice sit inside of the cup, and handed it over to him. He gulped down all of the water greedily. And within seconds it was gone. He started gasping for air. I grabbed the cup from him.

  “Easy love, you’re alright now.” I told him.

  “Sorry, it’s just that, I don’t know how long it’s been since I had a drink.” I laughed a little bit.

  “It’s been quite a bit of time,” I told him. I took a seat right next to his bed. I wondered just how that bed compared to where he came from originally. The place that both he and Raldnech came from. What I knew for sure was that this bed was better than any bed he’d been in for the past four years at least.

  “What happened while I was out.” He asked. Where to begin, I wondered. I leaned back in my seat.

  “After Tyrannus, Injured you, you went into shock,” I said. “I tried to find some alchemist that could help you, but they all told me that you would die, something about that beast caused you to rot, and quickly.”

  Kaje sat up in his seat. “You got me out of there?” I nodded.

  “I couldn’t just watch you wither, so, I, contacted my people,“ My palms began to sweat. Should I tell him the full truth? Would he even believe it? “I used that crystal from home.” I leaned closer to him. “You know where we are, Kaje?”

  “With the dragons,” he said, “Winrad why are we here?”

  “It was the only way I knew how to save you Kaje,” I told him. “I-” I choked back a bit. How could I explain this to him? If he knew what exactly happened, he would blame himself forever. I can’t tell him just how far this goes. I don’t think he would ever forgive himself.

  “I, gave you a small piece of my essence, a little bit of my soul, that way I could actually make sure you were healed.” I looked back down at my hands. “And it worked, thankfully.” I looked back up at Kaje, he was staring down at the blanket that he had over him. It was hard, so very had to lie to him, but what else could I do?

  “Why.” He asked. “Why did you save me?”

  What? I couldn’t just let him die. Why did he ask why I saved him? Did he not want me to save him? My heart started to race more. Did he want me to just leave him there? There was no way that was what he wanted me to do? I couldn’t just do that!

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “Winrad I got attacked by that thing to siphon off its energies.” He said. “If you just charged Tyrannus afterward you could have killed him!”

  “Kaje I couldn’t have just left you!”

  “Yes, you could have!” He shouted. “You should have!”

  I didn’t even know what to say next. Did he want to die back there? I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t see that. But, was I just being selfish?

  “Winrad, you know the prophecy, you know it better than anybody, hell you were the one who even brought it up to me in the first place, same with Alarotha.”

  Kaje stared back at me, tears welling in his eyes. “I wanted to die so you all could live, maybe then that damned prophecy wouldn’t come true.” The tears started streaming down his face even more. “I don’t want to be responsible for the deaths of thousands.” The tears became a sobbing wail. He buried himself in his arms and brought his knees closer to his body. The gem embedded in his hand shone brightly. That damned gem. Why did he, of all people have to carry that burden?

  I didn’t even know what to say next. Was this all truly my fault? Should I have made that decision for him? Was that really my call to make? I stood back up. What was going to happen next? I thought everything made more sense, but now it’s never been less clear. I felt the tears sting the corner of my eyes. I thought I was doing what I should be doing, I never wanted to see Kaje get hurt like that, just the thought of it made my whole body quiver. I couldn’t just see that happen to him, could I? I exited the room quickly, the tears fell onto the floor. Kaje I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Why did I have to go and fuck everything up?