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DAY 1. THE INVENTION

  meee[133-705-8760], chick witha dick[133-489-5399]

  [8:50 P.M.] meee

  


  just finished shitting

  [8:50 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  that is so cool

  literally slayyiiiinng queeeen

  [8:51 P.M.] meee

  


  bro I knoow

  that toilet is absolutely gobbling my turds right now

  [8:51 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  the toilet deosnt' know how lucky it is

  [8:51 P.M.] meee

  


  literally

  i could have shit in my pants

  that toilet would have never gotten a taste of me

  [8:52 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  but it did

  god i wish i was that toilet

  [8:52 P.M.] meee

  


  calm down

  [8:53 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  apologees

  i just get so excited when people bring up poop

  [8:54 P.M.] meee

  


  its ok me too

  what about pee

  [8:54 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  pee?? oh m god dont get me strted…..

  [8:54 P.M.] meee

  


  have you ever tasted your pee before

  [8:54 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  bro

  bro

  …….bro

  of course i have

  [8:55 P.M.] meee

  


  i once blended my poop and pee together into a smoothie with pineapple

  it gave me ibs

  [8:55 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  oh my gosh you drank your poop and it made you poop even more? thats so incredible

  [8:57 P.M.] meee

  


  i know dude

  i drank the poop smoothie and it made my bowels shoot out poop smoothie from my body

  [8:57 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  the wonders of biology

  [8:57 P.M.] meee

  


  absolutely

  so true

  [8:58 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  how much pineapple?

  [8:58 P.M.] meee

  


  about 3 tiny chunks

  ones youd find on a pizza

  maybe 4 if you have a big blender

  [8:59 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  i dont have a blender :((((

  [8:59 P.M.] meee

  


  nooooo dude how are you gonna make your own poop smoothies

  brooo

  [8:59 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  broooo

  [8:59 P.M.] meee

  


  brooooooooooo

  [8:59 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  Br??????ò?:

  [9:00 P.M.] meee

  


  bro its ok you can put your poop and pee into a bix mixing bowl and mash them together with two spoons

  [9:01 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  brroooo thats so smart

  im gonna pee in a mixing bowl right now

  [9:01 P.M.] meee

  


  thats so based queeen

  [9:32 P.M.] meee

  


  bro did you trip and crack on your skull on the counter where the fuck are you

  we had a great riff going there

  [9:39 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  oh my god im sorry i threw me phone between the couch cushions and forgot about it

  [9:39 P.M.] meee

  


  ????????huh

  [9:40 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  the stupid fucking group chat people

  their blowing up my phone

  theres like 18 people in it now

  [9:40 P.M.] meee

  


  sighs aloud

  [9:42 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  i am sighing aloud too

  logan is arguing with shereen because rohan got kicked, and now two of his friends got added by logan to argue about him as well

  [9:42 P.M.] meee

  


  yup

  sorry for added you there

  but in my defense its juliens fault for adding me

  [9:47 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  bitch you begged for them to let you in

  [9:47 P.M.] meee

  


  i know but i didnt think they would do it

  just leave it

  [9:48 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  i cant, not until i have all their names

  i need names elicia

  i need them

  i need all the names

  i need my contacts to have names

  i need ttttttttttttttto to go to bed

  [9:48 P.M.] meee

  


  at 948? bitch

  [9:49 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  suck my balls its been a long day

  [9:49 P.M.] meee

  


  sure thing. bitch. ill go talk to someone else because you dont want to

  meee[133-705-8760], italian bitch[133-582-6544]

  [9:50 P.M.] meee

  


  danelle

  hi danelle

  hiiiiiiii

  helloooooo

  [9:52 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  hi

  [9:52 P.M.] meee

  


  how we doiiiiiinnng

  [9:53 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  good

  just finished taking a shower

  [9:53 P.M.] meee

  


  staying hydrated? gross

  wait the fuck why did i say hydrated

  i was thinking hygeine why did i .

  hygeinated?

  [9:53 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  clean?

  [9:53 P.M.] meee

  


  shut up dont correct me

  hygeinated is a word i dont care what autocorrect says

  [9:54 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  its spelt hygiene

  [9:54 P.M.] meee

  


  shut your fucking trap foreigner

  what did i just tell you

  [9:56 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  so what are you doing

  [9:56 P.M.] meee

  


  i am committing the cardinal sin of abc news

  staring at nancy pelosis tits

  shes very hot

  [10:04 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  oh

  cool

  [10:07 P.M.] meee

  


  … dont tell me youre getting tired too

  [10:08 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  ive been awake since 6 am

  [10:08 P.M.] meee

  


  oh yeah? long fuckin day flipping pizza dough in the air and cooking spaghetti? fuckin ítálíáńó?

  ive been awake since noon and took 3 naps whats your excuse

  [10:12 P.M.] meee

  


  ANSWER ME

  [10:13 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  I need sleep

  [10:13 P.M.] meee

  


  no you dont

  ill make your ass sleep forever if you dont wake the fuc up

  [10:16 P.M.] meee

  


  mothehfucker the next time i shit and wipe my ass ill stick the crumpled toilet paper in the air vents

  see how well you sleep then

  [10:17 P.M.] italian bitch

  


  please dont

  [10:17 P.M.] meee

  


  you wanna fuckin test me ho?

  [10:20 P.M.] meee

  


  DO YOU?

  meee[133-705-8760], name spelt stupidly[133-786-2362]

  [10:14 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  Im wonering

  Wondering .

  [10:14 P.M.] meee

  


  wonering

  [10:14 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  shut up

  [10:15 P.M.] meee

  


  woner. is that slang for woman boner?

  [10:15 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  I SAID SHUT UP >:[

  [10:15 P.M.] meee

  


  apologies

  please forgive me Codie

  [10:15 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  no

  But anyways

  I was wonDering

  Is it like

  Normal to take showers every time you're bored

  [10:16 P.M.] meee

  


  uh

  come again

  [10:16 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  I have taken 3 showers today

  [10:16 P.M.] meee

  


  that doesnt sound normal no

  [10:16 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  But

  Why not

  Because

  [10:17 P.M.] meee

  


  pretty sure that fucks up your skin

  [10:18 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  Well maybe I want a little fucked up skin

  Maybe I wanna crawl around my house looking like a dry lizard

  [10:18 P.M.] meee

  


  youll look like a glob of expired pudding

  [10:19 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  Thats literally me though

  I'm that

  [10:21 P.M.] meee

  


  you do you i guess

  [10:22 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  Hmm. What if I just sat in the shower forever

  And never turned the water off

  [10:22 P.M.] meee

  


  for 150 days? your body would erode and become one with the water

  [10:22 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  That would get me killed I think

  [10:22 P.M.] meee

  


  you would cease to exist

  [10:23 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  No mroe codie :((

  [10:23 P.M.] meee

  


  gone

  [10:23 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  poof

  [10:23 P.M.] meee

  If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  


  obliterated

  [10:23 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  Materially nonexistent

  [10:23 P.M.] meee

  


  disintegrated

  [10:23 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  died

  [10:24 P.M.] meee

  


  no more codie

  [10:24 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  alive'nt

  [10:24 P.M.] meee

  


  perished

  [10:25 P.M.] name spelt stupidly

  


  I'm gonna go take a 4th shower brb

  [10:25 P.M.] meee

  


  have fun

  meee[133-705-8760], chick witha dick[133-656-8961]

  [10:22 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  eleiciaic

  elicia

  help

  FUCK

  [10:23 P.M.] meee

  


  look who came crawling back

  [10:23 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  the groupc

  hat

  group chat

  they wont

  OH MY GOD THEY WONT SHUP P TUP

  [10:25 P.M.] meee

  


  LEAVE BRO

  [10:25 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  AAAAAAAAAAAHWWEWWWEWWEWEWEWPPOPOPOPOOOOPPOPP

  THEY WONT LETM E SLEEEeeeeeeeeeeee'eEeEEEEEE

  p

  [10:25 P.M.] meee

  


  hide your phone in the oven

  [10:25 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  i cant hide it anyweher

  its too quiet

  i cant GET AWYFR OM THE SUPID PHONE SMSESAGES SOUND

  IM GOING NSINANE

  IM CRAWLING ON M WALS

  Bro what would happen if i broke my pheon

  [10:26 P.M.] meee

  


  damn bro cool your tits

  hang on im gonna hit up julien and see if they can shut them up

  [10:26 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  yur my hero

  meee[133-705-8760], who?[133-489-5399]

  [10:26 P.M.] meee

  


  heeyyy boo

  hows it being

  [10:27 P.M.] who?

  


  All right

  Enjoying a plate of pork fried rice

  [10:27 P.M.] meee

  


  pork fried that tice? dman bro

  [10:28 P.M.] who?

  


  That's right

  And now I'm eating it

  [10:28 P.M.] meee

  


  so i had a funny llittle idea

  as a little bit of a favor for robin

  because she cant sleep

  maybe you could

  possibly

  tell the entire group chat to shut their stupid mouths and go to sleep too

  [10:30 P.M.] who?

  


  Oh

  Well I'm sorry to say but your wish is far out of my control

  [10:30 P.M.] meee

  


  cumOOON

  you made the group chat

  your like its leader

  [10:31 P.M.] who?

  


  Leaders only have authority if its given to them

  That hasn't happened in the group chat nor will it ever

  A disease rots in the core of that place that poisons the hearts of all who enter

  If you want Robin to be saved, she needs to save herself

  [10:31 P.M.] meee

  


  dont do all that mystical feudal age talk with me

  tell them bitches to go to fuckin sleep

  [10:31 P.M.] who?

  


  Elicia

  You must understand that I have no leverage over them

  The power to remove others from the group is a universal one

  And if you anger the mob, they will come for you next

  They will find your number and make your life an inescapable hell

  And just when you think you've cut off everyone who will bother you, they multiply and attack you from behind

  Disorder is all that they know, and it is all they will continue to perpetrate. Escape while you can

  [10:32 P.M.] meee

  


  Bitch wtf are you talking about

  you are no help at all

  robin is suffering

  look she just texted me again saying shes about to microwave her phone until it explodes

  at least try

  [10:32 P.M.] who?

  


  Sorry, but there's no breaking the curse that has fallen over them

  This outcome was foretold in the pages of the Necronomicon. To change their fates would be to rewrite the eldritch script on the Mountains of Madness, to change the deep carvings on the white stones of the Plateau of Leng

  [10:33 P.M.] meee

  


  man are you serious

  what the fuck are you on

  just add me back

  ill fucking tell them myself

  [10:34 P.M.] who?

  


  Some say the world will end in fire,

  Some say in ice.

  From what I’ve tasted of desire

  I hold with those who favor fire.

  But if it had to perish twice,

  I think I know enough of hate

  To say that for destruction ice

  [10:34 P.M.] meee

  


  im going to kill you

  [10:34 P.M.] who?

  


  Is also great

  And would suffice.

  "My 14 page essay on the importance of mole weevils in a post-nuclear holocaust society"

  meee[133-705-8760], asshole 1[133-795-3757], who?[133-656-8961], mom[133-440-6740], m[133-802-7988], chill[133-853-2667], ???[133-296-8468], anthony fantano fanclub owner[133-347-4232], some dude[133-782-0376], weezer album[133-382-1325], wtf kinda name is baxter[133-812-2602], chick witha dick[133-489-5399], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-875-0839], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-490-6016], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-533-0811], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-845-6373]

  ALERT: meee[133-705-8760] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:35 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  In fact, I believe it was Karl Marx who wrote "Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the female sex, the ugly ones included"

  [10:35 P.M.] ???

  


  oh my god

  [10:35 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  YOOOOO ELICIAS BACK

  [10:35 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?now there you gooooooo agaaain?

  [10:35 P.M.] meee

  


  fuck u bitch

  how do you even remember my name

  [10:35 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  So if we think about this from the perspective of the antidisestablishmentarianists, then you might be able to guess why it wasn't such a good idea for them to start burning churches down in western gloucestershire

  [10:35 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?yousay you want your freeedooom?

  [10:36 P.M.] meee

  


  wtf is going on

  [10:36 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  ELICIA?

  [10:36 P.M.] meee

  


  ROBIN

  GO TO SLEEP

  [10:36 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?well who am iiii to keeep you doooowwwn?

  [10:36 P.M.] meee

  


  ILL DEAL WITH THEM

  [10:36 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  Hey elicia meet kalem and evan

  [10:36 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  But what's actually hilarious about the ongoing crisis is that when the king heard about his second son switching sides, not only did he FIRE his top military advisor, but he saw no problem letting half of the medicine supply deep in the palace storage just go expired

  [10:36 P.M.] meee

  


  no

  fuck kalem and evan

  and whoever the fuck else you added

  [10:36 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?its oonly riIIIGHT that you should plaay the waay you feeell it?

  [10:36 P.M.] meee

  


  BRO SHUT THE FUCK UP

  [10:36 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  that one is evan

  [10:36 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  So when the rebuttal from prince eric came in threatening to torch all of northern ireland, all hopes of defusing the standoff in a way that didn't mean bowing to his every demand was basically moot

  [10:36 P.M.] meee

  


  I dont fucking care who evan is

  its fucking 10:37 at night

  some of us are trying to sleep

  [10:37 P.M.] m

  


  they're trying to cause a distraction so they can add rohan when shereen leaves

  [10:37 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?but listooon carefullyYYyy to the soouuund of yor loone-li-ness?

  [10:37 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  All leverage the monarchy had was completely theoretical, and eric saw right through this. So what happened next? That's fucking right baby, Thomas Edison enters the picture

  [10:37 P.M.] weezer album

  


  Lol sleep?

  [10:37 P.M.] who?

  


  I'm here too assface

  [10:37 P.M.] meee

  


  PEOPLE

  [10:37 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?like a heeartbeat driiives you mAAad?

  [10:37 P.M.] meee

  


  ROBIN IS TRYING TO SLEEP

  AND CANT

  BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE MAKING SO MUCH NOISE

  [10:37 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  She can just leave lol

  We'll add her ass back tomorrow

  [10:37 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Now at this time, Thomas Eddy is a little… preoccupied in the eastern US throwing lawsuits at jewish people for stealing his copyrights. But once the governor of New South Wales invites him to a fancy dinner party, things start heating up

  [10:37 P.M.] meee

  


  or

  you all go to fucking bed and stop blowing up everyones phones

  [10:37 P.M.] weezer album

  


  but this place is fun

  [10:38 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?in the stiiillness ooof rememberin?

  [10:38 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  Yeah where else are you gonna get an experience like this

  [10:38 P.M.] meee

  


  go fuck your uncle eliot

  its past your bedtime

  [10:38 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?what you haaAaaad?

  [10:38 P.M.] weezer album

  


  And you know what? I dont think we have ENOUGH people in this club

  [10:38 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Prince eric intercepted the invitation and decided to show up to the party HIMSELF, and he BEFRIENDED Edison and started regular correspondence with him afterwards. Now, the details after this are a little fuzzy. We dont know exactly what those letters contained thanks to eric destroying them all at the end of his life, but we DO know their personal businesses became very intertwined.

  [10:38 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?and whatchu loo oo ossst?

  [10:38 P.M.] weezer album

  


  What if I just added everybody in the game here

  [10:38 P.M.] meee

  


  i will literally kill every single one of you

  [10:38 P.M.] who?

  


  Do not do that Javier

  [10:39 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?and whatchu hAAAAAAA AAa aaad?

  [10:39 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  And eric, in the ultimate fatal blow for the king, bought the patent rights for all of Edison's electric inventions and began his own booming business selling them to the masses as part of his propaganda campaign

  [10:37 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  Ooooh boy lmao

  [10:39 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  No wait that actually sounds like a cool idea

  [10:39 P.M.] meee

  


  NO IT DOESNT

  GO TO SLEEP

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-319-1941] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:39 P.M.] meee

  


  THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-966-1196] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:39 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?and whatchu looost?

  [10:39 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  LETS GOO

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-891-6727] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:39 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  In the court of public opinion, the battle was all but settled, and the king was forced to sue for peace lest his support in parliament fall apart

  [10:39 P.M.] ???

  


  Oooohn o no non on no non o

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-481-9556] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:39 P.M.] chick witha dick

  


  eliciaaaaaa its not working

  [10:39 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?THUN DA only HAappens when its r aAA inin?

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-702-2696] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:40 P.M.] meee

  


  im sorry robin

  i had no idea

  [10:40 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  Why dont we all sing a song together as the world crumbles

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-281-9736] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  One of the key demands that eric demanded involved bits of foreign policy involving france, specifically issues of many of their colonies around africa and the middle east. See, not only were these people insanely reactionary, they were also heavily imperialist and hated france deeply

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?THUN DA only HAappens when its r aAA inin?

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-212-3764] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:40 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  Ahem

  [10:40 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  weeeeeee

  [10:40 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  your day breaks

  your mind aches

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-366-3195] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  whoa what the hell

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  collect the names for me elicia. counting on you

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?PLAY ERS only lOOove you when theyre p laAA yin?

  [10:40 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  you find that all her words kindness linger on

  when she no longer needs you

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-616-4443] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  wut is going on

  [10:40 P.M.] meee

  


  alright see you all tomorrow

  ALERT: chick witha dick[133-656-8961] HAS LEFT THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:40 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  you wake up

  [10:40 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  So under their order, a naval blockade was ordered across almost the entire mediterranian sea, blocking france's shipments south. The colony they were trying to establish in Algeria was denied with no official explanation, and soon enough the british would start taking it for themselves. France was pissed

  [10:41 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?say wOmen they will cooOme and they will gOooo?

  [10:41 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  she makes up

  [10:41 P.M.] meee

  


  ill just let the staff deal with my body after i hang myself in a closet

  [10:41 P.M.] ???

  


  its all over. its all hopeless

  ALERT: rohan (dead)[133-378-3077] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:41 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  she takes her time and doesnt feel she has to hurry

  [10:41 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  LMAO wtf

  [10:41 P.M.] mom

  


  Guys. Please shut up.

  [10:41 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?when the rAIn wasHES yOu clEan you'll knoOOw?

  [10:41 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  There was a whole bunch of diplomatic furor with Britain for next several years (I.E. world war 1), but thats not important. What IS important is how they retaliated

  [10:41 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  she no longer needs you

  [10:41 P.M.] rohan (dead)

  


  OOOOOOOH YeAH BABBYYYY GUESS WHOS BACK MOTHERUCKERS

  [10:41 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  This is going great

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-743-2123] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:41 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  and in her eyes you see nothing

  [10:41 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  OH FUCK YOU WOKE UP SHEREEN

  ALERT: GROUP CHAT NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED TO "cumming inside a loofah and scrubbing myself with it in the shower" BY rohan (dead)

  [10:41 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  AH SHIT

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-993-7490] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:41 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  You see, France wasn't going to just let its colonial ambitions STOP. So they sent a platoon of ships AROUND africa and into east asia, and settled on a pocket of land between the pacific and indian ocean, or what is modern-day laos, cambodia, and vietnam

  [10:41 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  LMAOOOOO

  [10:42 P.M.] rohan (dead)

  


  oh yeah we're back AAALLL night

  [10:42 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  thats fuckin gross

  [10:42 P.M.] mom

  


  No you aren't.

  [10:42 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?now here i gooooooo agaaain?

  [10:42 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  EVAN SHUT IT

  IT DIDNT WORK

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-961-7329] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: rohan (dead)[133-378-3077] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:42 P.M.] anthony fantano fanclub owner

  


  Awww come on bro

  [10:42 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  And so French Indo-China was born, squeezed between british india and the american phillipines, and directly challenging those two's trading authority

  [10:42 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?i seee the cryystall viiiIIsioons?

  ALERT: anthony fantano fanclub owner[133-347-4232] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:42 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  NOOOOO

  SHEREEN WTF WHYD YOU REMOVE HIM

  [10:43 P.M.] mom

  


  You all are getting kicked.

  [10:43 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  NO NONONONON WHOLD ON

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-829-7999] HAS BEEN ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT

  ALERT: weezer album[133-382-1325] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:43 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  ?ikeepmyvisiontomyself?

  [10:43 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  DONT

  [10:43 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  oh shit

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-533-0811] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:43 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Uuuuh fuck theres more to thes tory but thats the basic gist of it you know what happened agter liike revolution against the french and shit

  [10:44 P.M.] asshole 1

  


  SHEREEN DO NOT

  DONT DO IT

  STOP

  DONT

  ALERT: asshole 1[133-795-3757] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:44 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  And thaats my thesis on how the invention of the lightbulb led to the vietnam war! thank you for listening!

  I made all of that up!

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-845-6373] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

  [10:46 P.M.] mom

  


  Are we done?

  [10:47 P.M.] meee

  


  yes mom

  [10:47 P.M.] mom

  


  Good. Now go to bed. Or at least stop talking here.

  [10:51 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER

  


  Yo what the FUCK is this

  ALERT: UNKNOWN SENDER[133-829-7999] HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE GROUP CHAT

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