[7:02 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER
Hello there fellow prisoner!
My name is Samuel! Pleased to meet you!
[7:05 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
ohm y gosh dude
I am so glad you messaged me
I did not want to be the first person to message anybody
and I went ALL DAY without nobody texting me
I was starting think the people in my contacts werent real LMAO
[7:06 P.M.] sammy??
ACK!
Holy crap dude how did you make it this long!
[7:06 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Watching Hallmark movies nonstop LMAO
[7:07 P.M.] ??????sammy??????
Ah, a man of culture I see ????
(Man? Right?)
(I dont wanna assume or anything)
[7:09 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Im nonbinary actually
[7:10 P.M.] ??????sammy??????
I see, very cool
Thank you for the clarification
All respect over here????????
[7:10 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Thx lol
[7:10 P.M.] ??????sammy??????????????
Np!
I know how important it is being respectful about that sort of stuff
And it's at least a little comforting that the dudes behind this game are inclusive too??
[7:12 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Totally
Im just curious how many other queer people are in this game too
Id love to build a little community with them all
Gotta stick with ur pack, yknow?
r u queer?
[7:15 P.M.] ??????sammy??????????????
I'm not unfortunately, just yur standard cis white male??
But I understand what your saying, making little friend groups with the same interests is important
Its kinda like summer camp
Like if I could find a group of guys gals and nonbinary pals who are as eager for gaming as I am, I'd literally be in heaven
[7:17 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Yea
And some of them might not even identify as either of those 3 things, who knows ??
[7:18 P.M.] ??????sammy??????????????
That is true you got me there
[7:20 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Honestly idek if there wuold be that many of them since the gamer community tends to be kinda fascist
[7:21 P.M.] ??????sammy??????????????????????????????
That's certainly true for certain gamer communities
Cant pretened I haven't seen it before evne if I dont remember anything??
[7:23 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Nah its likea whole community problem
Theres this whole giant link between gaming and fascism
Have you read Kor-ouna Vyros before? he has a bunch of theory about it going back to the 80s
[7:25 P.M.] ??????sammy??????????????????????????????
Hm, can't say I have unfortunately, but I'd love to read that one of these days
I can certainly see how the link formed in the 80s tho??
The BAdDiE BuNCh????????
Uuhhhhh[133-379-6644], ??[133-306-5075], ??[133-985-9524], ??[133-607-2584], ??[133-558-8792],??[133-212-3764]
[7:02 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
EVERYONE SHUT YOUR FUCKING TITS ITS HAPPENING I GOT ONE
[7:02 P.M.] ??
no way
[7:02 P.M.] ??
YES
[7:03 P.M.] ??
Oh my fod
[7:03 P.M.] ??
HAHAHAHAHN
[7:03 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
HIS NAME IS SAMUEL
"pleased to meet you!"
ITS PERFECT
[7:03 P.M.] ??
snickering deceetfully
[7:03 P.M.] ??
He's not one of our contacts right
[7:03 P.M.] ??
Nope
[7:03 P.M.] ??
Did you unironically just spell that “deceetfully”
[7:03 P.M.] ??
no
[7:03 P.M.] ??
havent meta samuel
[7:03 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
WHAT DO I SAY
[7:04 P.M.] ??
kissy face
nothing else
[7:04 P.M.] ??
The words "kissy face" or the emoji
[7:04 P.M.] ??
hey sugartits wanna buy some spoons?
[7:04 P.M.] ??
whatevr makes you happy rose
[7:04 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
COME ON we gotta play this smart
[7:04 P.M.] ??
Ease him into it, don't leap right away
[7:05 P.M.] ??
OOOH tell him that you're the first person he's texted all day
Because you were scared to message anybody first
[7:05 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
SLAM DUNK IM DOING THAT
[7:05 P.M.] ??
Ohhhhh thats smart
[7:05 P.M.] ??
Hey Keanu wth does "wanna buy some spoons" mean
[7:05 P.M.] ??
who cares lol its fuckin funny
[7:05 P.M.] ??
We should flesh out this character as much as we can
What was Josiah doing all day before he got texted?
[7:05 P.M.] ??
Hmmmm
[7:05 P.M.] ??
trying to find the pornhub channel on his tv
[7:05 P.M.] ??
Bro what
[7:05 P.M.] ??
LMAO
[7:05 P.M.] ??
Are you only suggesting that because it's what you were trying to do earlier?
[7:05 P.M.] ??
its what im trying to do now
[7:06 P.M.] ??
Oh
[7:06 P.M.] ??
He was watching the Hallmark channel
Because he grew up watching golden girls and hasn't moved on from it
[7:06 P.M.] ??
His memories are gone, he doesn't know what he grew up watching
[7:06 P.M.] ??
Heck
[7:06 P.M.] ??
Hallmark is a good start, though
[7:06 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
the man actually said "holy crap"
He's asking how I made it this long
MOVE FASTER
[7:06 P.M.] ??
HALLMARK
JUST TELL HIM HALLMARK
[7:06 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
JUST HALLMARK?
[7:06 P.M.] ??
HES AN NPC HELL BELIEVEE ANYTHIG YOU TELL HIM
Lol we should just spend all night stretching the limits of what he finds believable
[7:06 P.M.] ??
The details just get weirder the more he asks?
Heck yeah hold on now I'm getting invested in this
[7:07 P.M.] ??
hour one is im watching hallmark movies, hour three is im ripping wallpaper off the walls to use as toilet paper
[7:07 P.M.] ??
Is that also something that you've done recently?
[7:07 P.M.] ??
no but I thought about it
[7:07 P.M.] ??
why
[7:07 P.M.] ??
because i was shitting and saw wallpaper
[7:07 P.M.] ??
Thats kind of a weird connection for your mind to make
[7:08 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
OMYGOD HE ASKING MY GENDER NOW
AM I A GUY??
[7:08 P.M.] ??
Yes
It'll make your cheeky personality a lot weirder
[7:08 P.M.] ??
No no you gotta be a girl so it gets REAL weird when you start acting unhinged
[7:08 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
?!??!????!'.,.
[7:08 P.M.] ??
neither
your a nonbinary
[7:08 P.M.] ??
YES DO THAT
[7:09 P.M.] ??
Oh boy
[7:09 P.M.] ??
Find this and other great novels on the author's preferred platform. Support original creators!
HAHAH THATS PERFECT
LOL
[7:09 P.M.] ??
Uh
Is the existence of nonbinary people such a funny punchline
[7:09 P.M.] ??
YES
[7:09 P.M.] ??
what ru a lib
[7:09 P.M.] ??
Samuel probably is
[7:09 P.M.] ??
couldnt be me LOL
[7:10 P.M.] ??
Let’s stay focused on the task guys
[7:10 P.M.] ??
Yeah
Stay focused
[7:11 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Oh my god dude hes such a fcking cringelib
Hes trying so hard to make a point about being "respectful" and "inclusive"'
[7:11 P.M.] ??
Oh lord he's one of THOSE types
[7:11 P.M.] ??
LMAAAOOO HE BELIEVED YOU
HAHAHHAHA
[7:11 P.M.] ??
Calm down Keanu
[7:11 P.M.] ??
I bet we could use this as a leverage point to make him more uncomfortable
[7:11 P.M.] ??
tell him ur a furry
[7:11 P.M.] ??
LOOLL
[7:11 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Bro how do I respond to this hes so awkward
He keeps using white skin hand emojis too this is so weird
[7:11 P.M.] ??
You've gotta lean into the Twitter leftie persona as much as you can
Make him your bitch
[7:12 P.M.] ??
Talk about communist theory
[7:12 P.M.] ??
Better yet, MAKE UP communist theory
[7:12 P.M.] ??
OOH talk about some theorist he's never heard of and try to make him agree with them
[7:12 P.M.] ??
This is the best day of my life
Uuhhhhh[133-379-6644], ???????sammy??????????????????????????????[133-898-0111]
[7:29 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
But what’s so interesting is how he frames it all too
Because of course only hardcore lefties are going to know about this guy beforehand
But the way Vyros talks about it is so clearly aimed at like normies
So it’s like a gateway into more radical theory
First it’s Vyros, then Cho C. Ching, then Wrin-Go Schtaur, then if you’re feeling bold you can try Pruus Wein B’achtmon
[7:30 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Oh man I don’t know if my little brain can handle B’achtmon yet?? better start small
[7:32 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Yea it takes some work before you can comprehend all the ins and outs of stuff like intra-class redestructivism and Hunan under-growthless economics but its very worth it
[7:32 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
LOL I couldn’t even begin to??
[7:33 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
I’ve been rereading a bunch of theory from my bookshelf all day
I can text you some parts of it later on
Better than trying to buy it out in the real world, almost all available copies of this stuff is in chinese lmao
China folks get a lot wrong culturally but man do they have some good theorists
[7:34 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Sure seems like
And you can definitely hook me up with some of those books you have, seems like quite enlightening stuff
[7:34 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Oh it is
But like anyways what have you been doing
[7:34 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Oh, probably the same stuff as everyone else
Just watching TV, reading a bit, and digging through my shelves
Not that many options??
[7:35 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
What books do youh ave
[7:35 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Oh man there's a BUNCH of game fanfiction
I have a bunch of Minecraft stuff, some Halo lore books,a LOT of Star Wars, and the entire Witcher book series
One Minecraft book series I've been reading is Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior
It's like kids stuff but it's really entertaining for me
So it's about this villager dude named Runt who wants to be a warrior
But villagers in this town aren't ALLOWED to be warriors like the legendary hero Steve is
So when nighttime comes and all the monsters attack, they’re just completely defenseless unless some hero guy is visiting
The BAdDiE BuNCh????????
Uuhhhhh[133-379-6644], ??[133-306-5075], ??[133-985-9524], ??[133-607-2584], ??[133-558-8792],??[133-212-3764]
[7:35 P.M.] ??
JOSIAH
[7:35 P.M.] ??
JOSIAH
[7:35 P.M.] ??
JOSIAAAHHH COME BAAAAACk
[7:35 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
WHAT
WFT OD YOU WANT
[7:35 P.M.] ??
How's it going
[7:36 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Its going fantastic
I'm really getting absorbed into this character
I just got him monologuing about a minecraft fanfiction hes reading
[7:36 P.M.] ??
is he a loyal comrade yet
[7:36 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Oh yeah he let me fucking walk all over him with my talk of intra-class redestructivism and the works of chinese gaming philosopher Kor-ouna Vyros
[7:36 P.M.] ??
LMAO
[7:36 P.M.] ??
Kor-ouna vyros
tell me your kidding
[7:36 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Not to mention that I just dropped casual racism and it completely went over his head
[7:36 P.M.] ??
This is key that you need to start getting MORE racist
[7:36 P.M.] ??
start talking about the jews
[7:36 P.M.] ??
13/50
[7:36 P.M.] ??
the jews
No, you learned all of your teachings of the jews from your deceased father
Start with the usual dogwhistles then build your way to saying "the jews killed my father"
[7:37 P.M.] ??
Oh my god
[7:37 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
LMAO HE HASNT EVEN ASKED FOR MY NAME YET
WTF IS HE DOING
[7:37 P.M.] ?
if he asks your name is frank
[7:37 P.M.] ??
If he ever tries telling you about his interests just reply with ??
Uuhhhhh[133-379-6644], ???????sammy??????????????????????????????[133-898-0111]
[7:37 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
I haven't read any further than that but I really like it so far
[7:39 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
??
[7:40 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
So what are you doing?
[7:40 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Talking to a fellow cracker??
[7:40 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
??????
[7:41 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
But really I've been listening to old CDs all day of speeches from this Austrian politician guy from the early 20th century
I always used to listen to stuff like this with my dad back in the day
He taught me a lot about what I currently know about the world
[7:41 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Whoa??
That sounds really interesting!
[7:41 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
It is
I was always learning about our family lineage and their ties to wealthy jewish communities around central Europe and this cool secret society they formed
[7:42 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Wow!
Are you jewish?
[7:42 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
No
Do I look like one?
[7:44 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
I have the vaguest knowledge of my ancestry buried in my memory next to my name
Im pretty sure my lineage goes back to Sweden, or just Scandinavia in general
I also know a whole bunch of fun facts about the viking era
Did you know the cliche of wearing horned helmets was probably made up by Greek and Roman chroniclers who traveled to northern Europe?
[7:45 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
??
[7:46 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
I wonder if we have any common ancestors, we're basically from the same area??
[7:46 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Maybe
My ancestors had a bit of a stint in Norway for a few years, my great grandparents probably found yours
[7:46 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
That would be insane if they did though??
Just imagine, my great grandma holding hands with your great grandpa
[7:46 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Oh thats not where he would be holding your grandma
[7:49 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
What if everyone here has common ancestors??
Maybe that's why we're all here?
[7:49 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
I wonder how many of them my grandpa killed in world war 2
[7:50 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Oooo I should start asking around for peoples ancestry
While we still have time before eliminations start, of course??
[7:51 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
If their ancestors are people my grandpa killed, I don't think they're getting eliminated. Not if the game is run by who I think it is
[7:52 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
LOL and who's that???
[7:52 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
It’s The Jews samuel
The Jews killed my father
And Im betting theyre trying to come for ame next
[7:54 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Ame? Like… a-Mario?
[7:54 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
No, ame like ameing a fucking cruise missile at your family
The BAdDiE BuNCh????????
Uuhhhhh[133-379-6644], ??[133-306-5075], ??[133-985-9524], ??[133-607-2584], ??[133-558-8792],??[133-212-3764]
[7:52 P.M.] ??
Charlie omg how many of those have you eaten today
[7:53 P.M.] ??
like
six bags
[7:53 P.M.] ??
SIX?
HOW BIG ARE THEY?
[7:53 P.M.] ??
9? oz
262.2 g
[7:53 P.M.] ??
BRO
[7:53 P.M.] ??
holy shit
[7:54 P.M.] ??
what can i say lol
i like doritos
[7:54 P.M.] ??
At least tell me they're cool ranch doritos
[7:54 P.M.] ??
spicy nacho
[7:54 P.M.] ??
You're dead to me
[7:54 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
AAAA HELP I BROKE CHARACTER
I TOLD HIM I WAS AMEING A CRUISE MISSILE AT HIS FAMILY
[7:54 P.M.] ??
HUH?
[7:54 P.M.] ??
I need context holy shit
[7:54 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
THERS NO TTIME
[7:54 P.M.] ??
LMAO
[7:55 P.M.] ??
i need context too
[7:55 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
DAMARAE QUICK THINK OF SOMETHING
[7:55 P.M.] ??
HUH? WHY ME?
[7:55 P.M.] ??
DAMARAE THINK!!!
[7:55 P.M.] ??
DAMARAE
[7:55 P.M.] ??
Damarae it's all on you to fix this!
[7:55 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
HES ALREADY BEEN TAKING LONGER TO RESPOND WE DONT HAVE MUCH LONGER
[7:55 P.M.] ??
AAAAAAAAAHHGFEFSE
BURN IT ALL DOWN
HIT THE KILL SWITCH
Uuhhhhh[133-379-6644], ???????sammy??????????????????????????????[133-898-0111]
[7:56 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
LMAO alright then
[7:56 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Did you hear me? The Jews killed my father
It was Them I KNOW IT
RESPOND
[7:57 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Umm
How do you know for sure it was them
[7:57 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
I can hear their cries from beyond the grave
My ancestors are screaming into my ears at every second
[7:58 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Lol what??
You're really weird????
[7:58 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
But I know youre not one of them
Youre one of the good jews
I can tell just be listening to your voice
[7:59 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
My voice??? What?????
[7:59 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
You're so hot Samuel
You're voice makes me hard
You wanna get out of these walls and make babies in your bootyhole?
ALERT: ANY ATTEMPT TO FORCIBLY BREAK OUT OF YOUR ROOMS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. FAILURE TO ABIDE WILL MEAN IMMEDIATE TERMINATION FROM THE GAME.
[8:00 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Lol wow this took a turn fast
[8:00 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Got any n00ds to send me, cockboy???
I’d love to get to know you better??
[8:01 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Uh nope
Nope no I would rather not thanks
[8:01 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Come oooon gimme a slice of that white bread Sammy ??
[8:04 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
Aw don’t worry I have my own n00ds for you :)
IMG_080354_043.HEIC
There’s 42 more where that came from ;)
[8:04 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
Oh boy no thank you I don’t need one from you
…is that just your belly button
[8:04 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
OH MY GOD TOU ACTUALY OPENED IT
HAHHQHQYHAHHAH YOUCFUCKITN IDIOT HOLY AHIT
I TOLD YOUCWHATIT WAS AND YOU OPENED IT
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
[8:05 P.M.] ???????sammy??????????????????????????????
…
[8:05 P.M.] Uuhhhhh
AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHSKDOFOFOVORHAHHAHAGWHSJSGWHEJEUEJEBBE
Sammy my man I get it
You easily bend your interests to whoever your talking to because you can’t attract any bitches with your own personality
But if THIS is how you’re trying to get a crumb of they/them pussy, you’ll have to work out a few more kinks in your strategy
Because holy shit man
ALERT: THIS USER HAS BLOCKED YOU. NO MESSAGES CAN BE SENT TO OR RECEIVED FROM THEM.