I Am Truck-Kun Valentine’s Day Special
Wheeler the Love Truck: Part 2
Wheeler was parked in a desolate, forgotten parking lot at the crack of dawn.
He had already been informed by Abeona that there was going to be a change to their usual routine of attempting to Isekai various targets, but she hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with the details. Whatever it was, he was sure he’d have little choice but to roll with whatever insane new scheme she’d concocted.
Wheeler checked the clock on his dashboard, which read 5.50 AM, February 14th 2025. It was Valentine’s Day. Wheeler wondered if that had something to do with the unexpected ‘change of plan’ the goddess had announced.
Even back when he had been a human, he hadn’t had much luck when it came to Valentine’s Day. He had just never had much luck in the romance department, and now he was a truck, his prospects were likely as low as ever.
“Can’t exactly see myself on a date like this.” He lamented sadly to himself, “I doubt anyone is going to reply to a dating profile that reads, fifteen ton truck looking for companionship and maybe more.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure... I mean there is a fetish for literally EVERYTHING nowadays.” A familiar voice crackled over his radio.
“Abeona,” Wheeler sighed, “so are you finally going to tell me what you meant by there being a change of plan today?”
“Absolutely,” the chaotic goddess chimed, “but first, I need to introduce you to a friend of mine.
“Hello Wheeler” a seductively sultry voice replaced Abeona, “I am the goddess Venus. Abeona has told me so much about you.”
Just this new goddess’s tone alone seemed to trigger something in Wheeler, causing his engine to rev involuntarily as she spoke.
“I need a little help spreading the love this Valentine’s day. So, instead of being Truck-Kun, you’re going to be my matchmaker for the day. A Love Truck if you will.” Venus smooth voice explained.
“Umm, how do I do that?” Wheeler asked.
“Well before we do anything... I’ve got to fill you up with my special love energy.” Venus cooed.
“Listen, I’m not that kind of truck.” Wheeler protested dryly. “You could at least buy me dinner first.”
Venus giggled at Wheeler’s response, ‘ Hey Cheeky! Mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about my divine Love Overflow Venus Energy, Or L.O.V.E for short. It’s the same stuff Cupid has in his arrows that makes humans all lovey-dovey. Except humans nowadays are needing a much bigger shot of love energy for love to actually take hold.”
“You might say they need a truckload!” Abeona interjected.
With that Wheeler finally understood what they wanted him to do. “So you need me to transfer this love energy to people as if I am a giant arrow?”
“Pretty much, yes,” the two goddesses confirmed in unison.
“One flaw with that plan,” Wheeler pointed out, “when I hit someone, they tend to die.”
Venus though for a moment, “Maybe if you just wing them instead of hitting them directly?”
“Yeah, like a love tap!” Added Abeona .
“We’ll workshop it,” Venus reassured him. “Anyway, I’ve dispatched my top assistant to your location to help you out.”
At that moment Wheeler saw movement in the otherwise abandoned parking lot. A large, balding man dressed in a poorly fitting toga and what appeared to be wings, was approaching him. He walked with a stooping stagger. Perhaps a drunk still trying to find his way back home after a raging costume party?
When he got to Wheeler, the man began pounding heavily on the driver’s side door.
*THUMP THUMP THUMP*
“What was that?” Abeona demanded as the banging continued getting louder.
“HEY, HEY ARE YOU WHEEZER?” The man demanded in a gravelly voice as he tried to rattle Wheeler’s door handle, trying to get inside him.
“OH!” Squealed Venus, bubbling with joy. “That’s my dear Cupi!”
“Cupi... wait...” Wheeler took a moment to process the situation before realising, “You’re telling me that’s Cupid?”
“I know he seems a bit rough around the edges. He’s just been having a hard time lately,” explained Venus gently, “He’s here to help, so let him in please.”
Cautiously, Wheeler disengaged his locking system and opened the door, allowing Cupid to climb inside.
“About damn time!” grumbled Cupid, who first flung a bag he’d been carrying onto the passenger seat. He then climbed into Wheeler’s drivers seat, while simultaneously scratching himself inappropriately.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
“Hi Cupi darling, how are you,” Venus’s voice echoed from Wheeler’s radio.
“MOM, I told you, stop calling me ‘Cupi’ it’s embarrassing,” Cupid shot, “it’s bad enough you replace me with a truck without having to endure your dumb nickname.”
“Oh sweetie, don’t be like that.” Venus responded encouragingly. “Wheeler isn’t replacing you, he’s just assisting us. We both know your arrows aren’t big enough to get the job done.”
“You always told me size didn’t matter.” Cupid huffed, as he unzipped the bag he’d brought with him to reveal it was filled to bursting with florescent pink arrows, each of which had a red, reverse heart shaped head, with the heart’s point forming the tip of each arrow.
Turning his attention to Wheeler, Cupid grinned as he brandished a wad of arrows in his hand, “I’ve gotta fill ya up with divine L.O.V.E, so where ya want it?”
“Is this safe?” Wheeler gulped.
“If you were still in your old human form, the amount of divine L.O.V.E from all those arrows would make your body explode from the overwhelming tsunami of chemicals and hormones it would trigger inside you.” Abeona admitted offhandedly.
The sound of a truck horn blared through the parking lot as Wheeler panicked, “YOU MEAN I’D BECOME A LITERAL *HONK*ING LOVE BOMB?!”
“Relax,” Abeona reassured him, “your truck body is a divine construct, so it can store all that divine L.O.V.E with absolutely no risk of exploding.
“If your sure...” Wheeler uttered hesitantly, before suggesting, “I guess we should put it in my gas tank then?”
“Sounds like a plan,” cheered Venus. “Ok Cupi sweetie, load him up!”
“After muttering something to the effect of, “Mom, I told you, stop calling me Cupi,” under his breath, Cupid got out of Wheeler and carried the bag of arrows to Wheeler’s fuel filler port. One by one, Cupid inserted the arrows, tip first into Wheeler’s gas tank.
As Wheeler absorbed the arrows energy, he felt a warm sensation running through his systems, as if he was drinking a warm mug if cocoa on a cold winters night, the heat spreading through the machinery of his truck body. As the L.O.V.E from each arrow was transferred into him, each arrow in turn lost its luminescent pink glow, before evaporating into nothingness.
By the end, Cupid was left holding an empty bag. “That’s the lot of em,” he yelled, mopping his brow as he returned to Wheeler’s driver’s seat.
“Great Job Cupi...d darling,” Venus quickly corrected, adding the ‘d’ mid-sentence as she remembered her son’s distaste for the nickname ‘Cupi’.
“So, what’s the plan now? Am I just meant to drive around looking for random people to hit and spread the L.O.V.E to?” Wheeler asked incredulously. “How many couples do I have to make today anyway?”
“Only a few...” Venus paused before adding, “hundred.”
“A FEW HUNDRED! Venus, you didn’t tell me you were THAT far behind!” Abeona reacted in horror. “How are we meant to hit hundreds of couples worth of humans in a day? That’s outright impossible.”
“Abeona’s right.” Wheeler agreed. “I can’t run down that many people, non fatality might I add, in such little time.”
“Technically speaking, you don’t actually have to run them over,” Venus clarified, “any contact, even a touch will be enough to transfer enough L.O.V.E to work.”
At that moment, Cupid piped up, “I think I have an idea... has anyone heard of... Love Fest?”
“Love Fest! Oh Cupid darling you are brilliant.” Venus praised.
“Wait! What is Love Fest?” Wheeler and Abeona both asked in sync with each other.
A few hours later, Wheeler found himself parked in the middle of a muddy field, surrounded by all manner of attractions, fair ground rides and stalls. Every one of them were decorated in a gaudy array of pink and red hearts, and various flowers, the most prevalent of which was, of course, roses.
Crowds of people were milling about, enjoying the sights and sounds of the carnival of love that was unfolding before their very eyes. At the epicentre of it all, sat a gigantic banner flying high, proudly declaring, complete with three whole question marks for emphasis, “Welcome to Love Fest 2025!!!” The question marks even had little hearts in place of the dots beneath them.
Cupid had taken full charge of the mission, refusing to allow Wheeler, Abeona and even his mother Venus to know his full plan. All Cupid would say when asked was, “Leave this to me. trust me, I’m a love expert.”
Then, after a stop over at a local hardware store to pick up red paint, a large brush and a megaphone, Cupid had driven Wheeler straight into the middle of Love Fest, where he was now painting something on Wheeler’s side, treating Wheeler’s metal exterior as if it were a canvas.
Concerned, Wheeler asked Abeona, “What is he doing?”
“Beats me, I can’t see your side from this angle.” Abeona admitted as her figure peered out of the side window, trying to catch a glimpse of what Cupid had decorated him with.
Cupid took a step back, admiring his handiwork with a satisfied smile.
“OH I bet Cupi’s painted a beautiful mural that perfectly represents the spirit of love! That’s my boy!” gushed Venus, her voice brimming with pride.
When Cupid returned to Wheeler’s cabin to retrieve the megaphone he’d left on the passenger seat, Wheeler jumped on the opportunity to ask, “So what exactly did you paint on my side?”
“A message of love that will inspire and open the hearts of every human who sees it of course,” declared Cupid proudly. “I’m thinking, you trying to hit people is too inefficient, so instead, I’m gonna encourage people to touch you.”
With no further explanation than that, Cupid climbed back out of Wheeler and shut the door, before turning himself towards the crowds of people who were bustling around Love Fest. With a flourish, he spun the megaphone in his hand and pressed it to his lips. His rough voice came booming out the other end, singing in a not so heavenly chorus:
“Ladies, gentlemen and others, roll up, roll up! Come and touch my love truck.”
Wheeler instantly felt a sinking sensation, as a tidal wave of dread washed over him while he watched, Cupid shuffling awkwardly back and forth, singing agonisingly out of key.
“If your romance is in a rut,
well, my friends, you're in luck,
I’ve got something to perk it up
come on, touch my love truck.”
“Is it me, or does that sound a little bit...” Wheeler posited.
“Sus?” finished Abeona. “Oh yeah, big time.”
“It’s not that bad,” insisted Venus defensively as Cupid continued singing obliviously. “At least he’s drawn a crowd.”
A small group of people had gathered by Wheeler. Among them, Wheeler noticed two teens were filming Cupid on their phones while laughing, while the mother with horrified expression on her face, was covering her child’s ears . One elderly lady, just shook her head disapprovingly before wandering off.
The general mood of the smattering of onlookers seemed to be a mix of amused confusion and disturbed repulsion.
Regardless, Cupid carried on his performance, unaware of the response he was garnering from the crowd.
“Trust me this is for real,
my love truck will make you squeal.
One touch, you’re in love, that’s the deal,
The secrets of my love truck will be revealed.”
“Not the first time a man has promised me that about their ‘love truck’,” A female heckler called from the crowd
Wheeler however, had spotted a bigger problem. The old lady who had wandered off had returned, now with a policeman in tow. She pointed a bony, wrinkled finger in the direction of Cupid and Wheeler. “Yes, officer, he's over there... the one with the truck with "Free Loving" written on it.
As Wheeler watched the cop approach, he warned the goddesses, “We might have a problem.”
