I Am Truck-Kun Valentine’s Day Special

  Wheeler the Love Truck: Part 1

  “Iz not fair Addie.” An utterly plastered, voluptuous red haired goddess wailed as she nursed her twenty-third drink. “I’m telling ya, love is dead! Dead, dead, deady, D.E.A.D, DEAD!”

  “Please don’t call me Addie,” Adiona said, shielding her face in embarrassment with one arm while holding her first drink with her other, taking the occasional slow sip. “Besides Venus, it can’t be that bad...”

  “But it iz zat bad Addie.” Insisted Venus, crying with bloodshot eyes and slurring her words, her long, blonde hair sticking to her face. “Love ain’t wha tit use ta beeeee, It’s all swipey this, tappy that, wham bam thank ya mam.”

  “You think you have problems?” sneered Adiona coldly. “I’m stuck supervising my sister’s ridiculous project. Listen to this, she’s actually gone and trapped some poor human soul into a freaking truck! Have you ever heard anything so...”

  Ummph.” Adiona was interrupted by Venus making an unpleasant retching noise as the love goddess held her hand up to her mouth, desperately suppressing the urge to vomit.

  “Are you ok?” Adiona asked with her eyebrow raised, backing away slightly.

  Venus swallowed the lump in her throat. “Oh Addie, you’re sucha gud friend.” She cried, pulling Adiona towards her and hugging her tightly. “My numbaas are atta all time low, if I can’t make more couples... I’m donezo.”

  Adiona flailed as she was smothered by Venus’s body. “Air... need air.” She gasped, tapping her friend frantically on the shoulder as she was trapped in the marshmallow hell that was Venus’s chest.

  Ignoring her friend’s flailing, Venus continued holding Adiona close. “My darling Cupi’s itty bitty arrows don’t cut it no more, I NEED sumthin BIGGAR!” she gestured widely with her arms.

  “Bigger? Like how much bigger?” asked Adiona as she took the opportunity to finally prise herself free of her fellow goddess’s grasp.

  “I dunno,” Venus stumbled, “sumthin like a love nuke, orra love bus, orra...”

  A sinister grin suddenly began to spread over Adiona’s face “Love Truck?” She suggested.

  “Yes!” gasped Venus.

  Adiona gave her friend a reassuring pat on the back. “Venus, I think I might have the solution to your problem!” she chuckled.

  “You do?” Venus squealed in delight as she pulled Adiona into her arms again. “Thankew Thankew.. thank ugghhh ummmpphhh.” Venus began covering her mouth with her hand again, but was ultimately unable to hold back the inevitable.

  *BLECH*

  “Ewwwww...”

  About a week later, Adiona was in her office, waiting for Venus. Despite the fact her shift was officially finished, Adiona continued working, filing away various documents that sat on her desk. It felt as if as soon as she processed a stack of forms, two more piles appeared to take its place, like the paperwork equivalent of a hydra.

  Adiona looked up from her work as she heard a light knocking on her door.

  “Adiona darling, you wanted to speak to me?” asked the person at the door.

  It was Venus. She was stood there, looking vastly different from the other night. Her blonde hair, that had been strewn over her face, was now tied up in an elegant ponytail. Her previously bloodshot eyes were now clear and focused. Gone was her slurring speech, now replaced with a velvety smooth and composed, almost seductive cadence.

  “Ah yes I wanted to talk to you about the other night.” Adiona began seriously, putting the documents she was holding to one side.

  “Oh my goodness.” Venus's eyes widened in horror. “Was the money I gave you to clean your dress not enough to cover the damage? I know how tricky vomit stains can be to get out of that kind of material...”

  “No, no, it’s not about that.” Adiona interrupted, “It’s about that little problem you were telling me about?”

  “Oh you don’t have to worry about that,” giggled Venus, “Asclepius gave me an ointment that cleared the rash right...”

  “Not THAT problem, the whole thing about love being ‘dead’, your numbers being low and Cupid’s arrows not being big enough to get the job done.” Adiona reminded the Love Goddess.

  “You’ve worked out a way to help me?” Venus’s eyes shone with gratitude. “Thank goodness, with Valentine’s day coming up, the pressure is really on all the Love Gods, including me right now.

  Adiona could tell if they hadn’t been in the office, Venus would’ve likely pulled her in for another smothering hug. This was exactly why Adiona had decided to reveal her plan to Venus here. The office environment at least encouraged her friend to maintain some level of professional conduct.

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  “So what is this plan exactly?” Enquired Venus.

  Adiona gave a sly smile, “follow me.”

  After a walk down the hall, they arrived at another door with a crude makeshift sign reading “Isekai Department, which for some reason was written with glitter markers.

  Venus tilted her head in confusion, “What’s an Isekai?”

  “Doesn’t matter.” Adiona reassured her, taking a deep breath as she pushed open the door.

  Inside, was another goddess, who looked like a funhouse mirror version of Adiona. Where Adiona didn’t have a single hair out of place, this goddess didn’t seem to have a hair In place, with her follicles flailing out in random directions. Where Adiona’s sharp white suit was clean and perfectly fitted, this other goddess’s suit was baggy and dirty.

  The goddess who inhabited the room, with her back to the door, didn’t even turn her head away from her tablet.

  “Hey Sis, my paperwork is over there,” the messy goddess grunted, flapping her arm vaguely in the direction of a trashcan filled with paper strands that was sat next to a shredder.

  “Abeona, we have a guest, can you be a little more professional please?” Adiona’s gaze burned into the back of her sister’s head.

  “Oh, who is it?” asked Abeona as she finally turned her head to see who their guest was.

  Venus gave a small wave as Abeona turned around, greeting her with a warm smile, “Hey Abbie, long time no see.”

  “Oh my goodness, Venus? It’s been a while, how are you doing.” Abeona’s face lit up as she recognised Venus, she sprung up to her bare feet and ran over to give Venus a hug.

  “How comes I never get a greeting like that?” Adiona asked coldly.

  Abeona, without missing a beat responded, “Because you always act like a stuck-up bi...”

  “Big Sister!” Venus interrupted, “It’s because you’re her big sister. So she’s comfortable enough around you to be herself, without putting on airs and graces.”

  “That’s not what I was going to say,” Abeona protested, “I was going to say she’s a stuck-up bi...”

  “ANYWAY,” Adiona cut her sister off with a sharp clap of her hands. “Abeona, we need to requisition that silly truck of yours. The one you embedded a human soul into. His name is Wheeler isn’t it? He is needed for an urgent mission.” Adiona demanded sternly, reinserting herself into the conversation.

  Abeona immediately ran to her bed and threw herself on top of the tablet she used to contact and monitor Wheeler, her ‘Truck-Kun’, shielding it with her body. “NO! YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM.”

  Pinching the bridge of her nose and closing her eyes, Adiona swallowed her frustration. She knew her sister would be like this. “Abeona, as your superior I order you to...”

  Venus put her hand on Adiona’s shoulder, shooting her a glance indicating she should back off. “Addie, let me try talking to her please.”

  Adiona brushed off Venus’s hand and returned a withering glare. “Good luck... she’s always so unreasonable.”

  “I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?” Abeona yelled, curled in the fetal position while clinging tightly to her tablet.

  Slowly, Venus approached Abeona’s bed. “Abbie, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to...” she began softly.

  “You might not, but my sister will.” Abeona moaned, her voice muffled by her bedding.

  “I’m way behind on my targets,” Venus explained gently. “It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow, and if I can’t create enough couples by the end of it, I’ll no longer be on top, and trust me darling, I am definitely NOT a bottom.”

  “Heh, bottom...” sniggered Abeona, her tantrum calming slightly. “I don’t understand, how can borrowing Wheeler, help you with that?”

  “You see, we can... wait...” the Love goddess froze, realising she had no heavenly clue how Wheeler could actually be of use to her. “Addie... how would this be helping me exactly?” she asked.

  “You said you need something bigger than an arrow, and a truck fits that description.” Adiona explained bluntly. “You can fill Wheeler to maximum capacity with the same love power you put in Cupid’s arrows, that amount should easily open the heart of any human he hits.”

  “ADDIE, YOU’RE A GENIUS” squealed Venus as she spread her arms wide to sweep Adiona up in another hug. Adiona remembering last nights marshmallow hell, swiftly evaded the attempt, calmly stepping out the way each time the love goddess attempted to cling to her.

  “Looks like we’re doing this...” Abeona grumbled. She was now sitting on her bed, but with her arms still folded protectively over her tablet, holding it against her chest. “So how long do you need him for? Is an hour enough?”

  “We will be requiring his services for an entire day.” Her sister insisted firmly, still dodging Venus’s attempts to grab her.

  “A WHOLE DAMN DAY?!” Abeona exploded. “I can’t suspend Project Isekai for an entire day! I’ve got my own deadlines to take care of. You should know, you’re the one who set them.”

  “Oh yes the one year deadline on Project Isekai... I’m sure a single day’s hiatus won’t make a difference to that dumb, doomed-to-fail little project of yours.” Adiona shot.

  The more chaotic sister’s face turned boiling red as she spat through gritted teeth. “I bet that this less about helping Venus, and more some rotten little plan of yours to sabotage Project Isekai by wasting my time.”

  “Who me?” Adiona fluttered her eyelids in a grotesque pantomime of innocence that told Abeona everything she needed to know. That she was right on the money in guessing her sister’s true motivation.

  Venus, appeared blissfully unaware of the power play that had just taken place between the two sisters. “I really appreciate you helping me out Abbie,” The love goddess gushed. “I promise once this is all over, I’ll get you a present to make up for the inconvenience.”

  “I’m not some kid you can buy off with chocolate you know.” Abeona protested fiercely.

  “Who said anything about chocolate?” giggled Venus, “I’ve got something much more special planned for you, Abbie darling.” She said with a velvety smooth voice and a wink.

  Abeona sighed deeply, “Venus I’m flattered... but I’m not interested in you that way...”

  “I wasn’t talking about THAT silly,” Venus laughed, “Trust me you’re gonna love it,” she said emphasising her words with another wink.

  “So with that all out the way,” injected Adiona, as deadpan as ever. “You two can meet here as soon as Valentine’s day is officially underway.”

  “Us two?” Abeona blinked in confusion.

  “I have other important work to be dealing with, my paperwork won’t finish itself.” Her sister explained.

  Abeona walked over and picked up her shredder, “I can take care of all that for you.”

  Rolling her eyes, Adiona retorted, “Unlike some people, I actually complete my paperwork properly. As I’m busy, it’ll just be you and Venus.”

  “Hear that Abbie? Just the two of us. I’ll be looking forward to getting this show on the road tomorrow. Until then, Ciao for now.” cheered Venus as she left Abeona’s room with a wave.

  “See ya tomorrow Venus, it was nice to see you again,” Abeona said, before adding “and Sis?”

  “Yes?” Adiona who was already halfway out the door, turned back to her sister.

  Abeona flashed an insincere smile, “Make sure the door doesn’t hit ya in the ass on your way out.”

  Adiona didn’t verbally respond, simply shaking her head and giving one last disapproving glare on her way out.

  Abeona turned her attention to her tablet. “Guess I better tell Wheeler,” she thought to herself, “I wonder how he’s gonna react to this.”