In a small grassy field, small animals frolicked and played, each one cuter than the last. A squirrel with the fluffiest tail imaginable and completely normal, non glowing eyes, leapt onto an equally poofy rabbit, the two rolling around on the verdant grass without a care in the world, soft chirping laughter leaving their mouths.
Their friends watched this fondly, and they felt as if nothing could ever disturb their peaceful way of life. Even the tortoise, who had recently lost a race to the rabbit, gave a small smile at the sight.
Yes, all was right with the world.
That is, until a loud bang halted their fun. The sound came from the large and strange looking rock that lay smack dab in the middle of their meadow. One side of the rock was completely flat while the other was rounded and curved down into the ground, both perfectly smooth to the touch
The woodland critters avoided the rock, feeling uneasy in its presence. They never knew why they did so, but only a fool ignored their instincts. And considering the sound it was making, their instincts were spot on.
Another loud bang rang out, only this time it was accompanied by a tremor. The adorable little animals had no idea what to do, with several running away to hide. Only the bravest of them, or the slowest, remained where they were.
Another bang and another tremor. One after the other they came, each time with less and less intervals in between. Not only that, but the sounds were getting louder and the shaking more violent with each successive wave.
Eventually, the sound became nearly deafening, and the poor little rabbit had to cover its fuzzy ears. His friend, the squirrel, tried to help as best he could, but the noise was simply too great. Nothing could block out the pain the rabbit felt.
It wasn't long before the booms came every second, the tremors seemed to never cease and then…
Nothing.
Everything seemed to come to a halt. The frightened little creatures stared at the rock, wondering if it was over. And that's when it happened.
The flat part of the rock exploded outward, showering their once peaceful land with dust and debris. They ran for cover, squeaking in fear. Thankfully, none of them were crushed in the chaos, though it was a close call for the tortoise, who trembled within his shell.
Once everything settled down, the animals cautiously peeked out from behind bushes or tree branches, trying to see what caused such a disturbance in their normally serene existence.
As the dust cleared, they could clearly see four humans. One was a stringy guy wearing a bright yellow head covering. Another had three sticks at his waist with yummy looking hair, at least to a few of them. Another had a long nose and seemed to be burnt and smoking, with a swollen face. And the last was the most ordinary of the bunch, with brown hair and blue eyes.
"Where exactly did they come from?" wondered the small woodland critters. It almost looked like they came out of the rock. But since when did humans come out of rocks? They've never seen something like that before. So they watched with curious and apprehensive gazes as the group began to speak.
"We made it! I don't know how, but we made it," wheezed Nick, laying on his back taking in deep breaths that would make an asthmatic jealous. Well, not jealous per say, but they would certainly feel a kinship.
"Hahaha, that was fun!" Luffy yelled, sitting down cross legged, big happy smile on his face. The others, including Zoro, glared at him. Usopp would have, if he weren't currently face down on the ground.
"Fun? What part of that was fun? Just look at Usopp! He's barely alive," Nick pointed out. Luffy turned to face the long nosed man, eyes widening in panic as he rushed over to him.
"Usopp, don't die!" he shouted, shaking the poor man like a dog. Usopp muttered something unintelligible, eyes rolled into the back of his head. Not that Nick could particularly blame him for his current predicament.
No, that blame lies entirely on the shoulders of one, Monkey D. Luffy.
"It's your fault! Why did you have to trigger every single goddamn trap!?" Nick yelled. Luffy dropped Usopp on the ground, seemingly bored of trying to shake the life into him. Nick was sure Usopp would be glad for it too, even if the landing looked kind of rough.
"I just wanted to see what they would do," Luffy said with a pout, not understanding the problem.
"Kill us. That's what they would do. That's the whole point of death traps," Nick returned in a deadpan.
"Whatever, we made it so it's fine!" he said, waving away the point. Nick growled, but it sounded more like a dehydrated kitten than the tiger he was trying to emulate.
How could he say that with such a straight face? Hell, Usopp was hanging on by a thread, and it was mostly Luffy's fault. The little rubber idiot saw a lever, and his natural curiosity took over, not even thinking about the consequences.
He was like a dodo bird, zero survival instincts. If it wasn't for his strength, endurance, and sheer stubbornness, Nick was convinced Luffy would have gone extinct years ago.
When he pulled the lever, a latch opened up above them, revealing a cavity. And what was in that cave you might be asking?
Spiders. Thousands and thousands of spiders. And poor Usopp just happened to be standing right beneath it. His reaction to being covered in the eight legged creepy crawlies was completely justified in Nick's opinion.
He probably would have done the same thing. He wasn't particularly afraid of spiders, but it was a completely different situation altogether when they literally cover you head to toe.
So when Usopp screamed like a little girl and took off like a bat out of hell, Nick didn't blame him. Of course, that led to a whole nother problem for the sniper, as he triggered another trap as he was fleeing, screaming, "Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!"
He got his wish, just not in a way he was expecting.
Or wanted.
His foot hit a trap panel in the floor, and then he was surrounded by nozzles. And then he was surrounded by fire. More screaming ensued, and after a few seconds, Usopp was revealed to be extra crispy. But hey, no more spiders.
Seeing as it was mostly Luffy's fault, they made him carry the comatose sniper. Which didn't stop him from triggering every trap he could find. One of them involved poison darts, which he used Usopp's face to block.
Kind of a dick move, but honestly, Nick and Zoro would have probably done the same thing. The liar's face swelled up even more. It was already kind of lumpy due to the spider bites, but now it looked like he had the mumps.
And that was just a few of the horrors they faced. There were also boulders and pits filled with various deadly elements, such as snakes and spikes. Sometimes both. At one point the stairs turned into a slide and water poured down, threatening to drown them. Snakes surfed down the water, mouths open and ready to bite. A wall appeared behind them with spikes, and a boulder raced down the slide to crush them between the two.
Excessive, that's what Nick would call that. Excessive.
But the weirdest part was the gorilla at the top that threw barrels at them. That's right, they had a Donkey Kong. Nick had no idea how it was possible, but somehow they made it happen. It didn't even make sense. It's not like they were trying to rescue a princess or anything.
Wait, come to think of it, Nami's biological parents were never shown in the show, were they? He wasn't exactly a One Piece expert, but he didn't think so. Does that mean Nami could be a princess? And Kaya was rich enough to be one…
Shit, the monkey might actually make sense. Fingers crossed the Bear King couldn't transform into a giant turtle.
Sitting up, which was far more painful then he'd like to admit, Nick stared around at the island they found themselves on. He was more than a bit surprised to find himself in a meadow of all things, with lush green grass and magnificent oak trees. It was the last thing he expected to find on an island controlled by a pervy pirate.
He expected a desolate wasteland with roving bands of mutants hoping to devour their flesh. Or at least a wrecked town with sad, despondent villagers. But honestly, this was pretty damn peaceful.
Except for the massive looming tower at the top of a hill, built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Nick wasn't sure what kind of witchcraft held it up, but whoever was responsible must have had their reasons for building it like that.
Or they were drunk.
"Well that's not ominous. Think the Bear King is compensating for something?" Nick asked, turning to face the others. Zoro had made his way to his feet, intense gaze sweeping over everything in line of sight and Luffy…
"Woo, look at the weird houses! They're all twisty!" he shouted, stars in his eyes as he too took in everything before him.
Yep, his clever dig at the Bear King's manhood was completely ignored.
Of course, he didn't have long to be sad about it before Luffy ran off to investigate the "Mystery" town as he called it, completely ignoring Nick yelling at him to "Get back here!"
"Well, there he goes. Let's hope he doesn't cause too much trouble," Nick said with a sigh.
"It's Luffy. You're asking for the impossible," Zoro replied, turning the other man's sigh into a groan.
"You're probably right. Guess we better follow him to at least try and keep him from doing something totally stupid," Nick said, forcing himself to stand, using his trusty shovel as a crutch.
"Right. What about him?" Zoro asked, gesturing to the extra crispy form of Usopp.
"That's all you buddy," Nick said, hobbling past the swordsman.
"What why me?" Zoro complained.
"Does it look like I can carry him?" Nick asked, raising an eyebrow in Zoro's direction. The green haired man grumbled something that suspiciously sounded like "Lazy dumpling," but that didn't make any sense. Thinking it over, Nick figured he must have called him a lazy dumbass.
Yeah, that made far more sense.
Hoisting Usopp over his shoulder like he was a bargain bin sack of potatoes, the three of them began making their way into town. Watching them go was the woodland critters, who thought they were the strangest humans they ever met.
They had to go around the small port, staring at the wreckage of ships that were docked there. They must have been the ones that survived the storm. Not only that, but there was also the familiar sight of the ship used to kidnap their friends.
Nick thought about stealing it, but figured there wasn't much point. For one, there wasn't anywhere he could go with it, and two, the cannons probably wouldn't reach the massive tower that almost certainly held their friends. And even if it could, he wouldn't risk blowing them up. That would defeat the whole point of a rescue mission.
As they walked through town, Nick wasn't surprised by the lack of villagers to greet them. Just like every island he's visited that was under pirate threat, the people hid away, afraid of being made the next victim.
Made it easier to find Luffy at least, who thankfully hadn't got too far, becoming completely distracted by something in a little shop. His face was pressed right up against the glass, his face stretched to impossible proportions as he tried to get a better look inside.
"Luffy, what the hell are you doing?" Nick asked, sounding exasperated. Watching other people deal with the hyperactive man in a show was completely different from dealing with it in real life. He could safely classify it as frustrating.
Just one more reason to make sure he won his bet with Zoro.
"Oh, Nick! Look, they're moving on their own!" he shouted excitedly. Curious, though not wanting to admit it, Nick hobbled over to where he was. Looking inside, he was a bunch of windmills, all moving of their own volition. In fact, they looked just like the ones scattered throughout town.
Future generations would be sure to point at this moment in history as the beginning of the robot uprising. Or not, seeing as everything inside was just toys.
"Yep, that sure is neat. Now come on, we have a wedding to-Luffy!" Nick yelled, watching as the rubber man ran inside. He sighed in frustration, something that wasn't at all helped by Zoro's snickering behind him.
"Damn it," Nick muttered, following his future Captain inside, Zoro and the unconscious Usopp trailing behind. Entering the little shop, Nick saw Luffy holding up a windmill, trying to figure out what made it work.
"Luffy, put that down before you break it. We don't have the money to buy it if you do," he called out. Hell, they didn't even have Nami's stash to pay for anything, not that it would be a good idea to do so. No one should have to be in debt to that sexy little money grubber.
"But it's so cool. I just want to-oops…" Luffy said, watching as the toy in his hand shattered into several pieces.
Nick facepalmed, using the hand that wasn't holding onto his shovel crutch. "What did I just tell you? Now we have no choice but to sell you into slavery to pay off the debt."
"What!? That's not fair!" Luffy shouted, eyes bugging out of his head.
"I'm sorry Luffy, you brought this on yourself. A toy that moves all on its own must cost a fortune. You'll be here until the end of your days…" Nick said, sounding as sad as he could about it. But the massive grin kind of defeated the illusion of sadness.
But it was just way too hard to keep a straight face with the distraught and panicked expression Luffy was making. Zoro's manly giggling wasn't helping either.
"But I don't want to be a slave! Wait, I know! I'll just fix it myself!" Luffy yelled, looking like he just figured out the secrets of the world.
"Luffy, I don't think that's a good ide-" Nick started, but was interrupted by someone new.
"Who's there?" asked a voice, coming from the stairs. The group turned to see who it was that spoke, with Luffy looking like a kid who just found out his report card was nothing but F's.
It was a man, with green hair that spiraled like a snow one. He wore a disheveled suit with a white coat over top that looked like it belonged on a doctor. Behind him was a woman with pale, lavender colored hair in a similar swirling fashion, wearing a purple dress and the same kind of coat as the man. On her face was a pair of wire framed glasses.
They stared at the intruders nervously, wondering what they could be there for.
"Hi, I'm Luffy, and this was like this when I got here," he claimed, holding up the broken windmill. But it was clear as day that he was lying. His face was scrunched up like he ate something sour, and he was doing his best to not make eye contact with the two.
It made Nick wonder how they could be saddled with two people that were hopeless at deception. The man and the woman gave him bewildered looks, staring at the broken toy in Luffy's hands.
"Sorry about him, he gets overly excited sometimes. You can have him, if you want, to pay for the damages," Nick offered, making Luffy turn to him with a betrayed look on his face.
"Don't try and sell me!" he shouted.
Their antics did help lessen the tension the two strangers were feeling. Zoro watched them like a hawk as they made their way the rest of the way down the stairs. You can never be too careful after all.
"It's fine, it's just a cheap toy, easy enough to fix. No need to sell your friend," the man claimed, holding out his hand for Luffy to give him the broken object.
Luffy gave Nick a smug look, sticking his tongue out at the man, who merely rolled his eyes at him. Luffy handed the man the toy, watching with fascination as he easily fixed it with a few simple tools.
"Woah, your pretty handy old guy," Luffy complimented.
"Old guy?" he asked, bewildered.
"So tell me, how do these things work?" Luffy asked, an eager look on his face. Confused but willing to oblige, the man began to explain the inner workings of the toy.
"It's like watching someone trying to teach a fish how to jog," Nick commented, watching with some amusement as Luffy made a face of understanding when he knew damn well the little rubber idiot didn't understand a thing.
Long story short, they were basically advanced wind up toys.
"Excuse me, but are you and your friend ok?" asked the woman, approaching them. Nick and Zoro turned their attention away from the man's futile attempts to teach Luffy something, focusing on the woman instead.
"If you think I look bad, you should see the other guy," Nick joked. Not that he would show that to her, considering the other guys were dead. Well, except for Luffy, who was responsible for his broken ribs. Or was that technically Jango's fault?
Either way, considering how fucked up he looked the last time he saw him, Nick wouldn't want her to see that either. It wasn't a pretty sight. Usopp really did a number on him.
"I see… and him?" she asked, turning her concerned gaze towards Usopp, who finally seemed to stop smoking, though his face was still swollen.
"He's fine. Just got caught in a few of the traps in that damn staircase," Nick said with a shrug. His words caused the woman to let out a gasp, and the man very nearly dropped the toy he just fixed.
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"The stairs!? You mean you four actually made it up that death trap?" the woman shouted.
"Wasn't that difficult," Zoro bragged.
"Speak for yourself. That damn monkey almost did us in," Nick mentioned, though it wasn't clear which one he was talking about. The one who was throwing barrels, or the one wearing a straw hat who triggered every trap he could find.
"I can't believe it… No one's ever made that journey before," the woman muttered, staring at them with awe. But the man had a suspicious look in his eyes.
"And what was so important on this island that you risked taking such a dangerous road?" he asked. Nick and Zoro shared a look, before the green haired man gave a shrug, jostling the injured Usopp he was carrying.
"The Bear King took some friends of ours, and we intend to get them back," Nick said, a hard edge to his voice.
"You don't honestly believe you can actually beat that monster, do you? Just look at you, you're barely standing as it is," he said in disbelief.
"To be fair, I don't plan to beat him myself. That's what we have a Luffy for," Nick replied, gesturing towards Luffy. This made them even more doubtful, watching as Luffy broke the toy again, yelping as springs went flying everywhere.
"Him? You think he can defeat the Bear King? You must be joking," the man said. Nick could understand the doubt, simply shrugging in response.
"Believe me or not, doesn't matter to me. Either we'll beat the Bear King and save out friends, or we'll die trying," Nick stated, his tone brokering no room for argument. His words caused Zoro to smirk and Luffy's face to widen in a broad grin.
If Usopp had been conscious, Nick was sure he'd be bawling his eyes out, shrieking about how he was too young to die. Though he could have sworn he heard a sniffle…
"Do you even know what you're saying? You're talking about throwing your life away like it's no big deal," the man stated, not able to comprehend the people who broke into his home/store and destroyed his property.
"That's not it at all," Luffy said, making everyone turn to him. His hand was on his head, tilting his hat forward to hide his eyes. Nick wondered if it was something he practiced, because he had that look down pat.
"We're not throwing away anything. We're willing to risk everything, even our own lives, for something we think is worth that risk. We won't back down no matter what, because that would be even worse than death. What about you? Isn't there anything you would die for?" Luffy asked, raising his head and staring them in the eye.
The two stared in awe, seeing Luffy in a new light. Nick couldn't blame them, considering their first impression of him, but Luffy had a way of bringing people around. Seeing him now, it was almost like they were two different people.
"Man, too bad Usopp isn't alive to hear this," Nick mentioned.
"I'm not dead you asshole," Usopp muttered, raising up to glare at the man.
"He lives! Usopp, tell me, what was hell like? Should I start being a better person to avoid it?" Nick asked.
"Oi, why do you think I went to hell!?" Usopp shouted, offended. Nick simply shrugged, giving him a grin.
"Lying's wrong Usopp."
"Screw you!"
"Hey, I have a better question. How long have you been awake?" Zoro asked, shifting his eyes to glare at the long nosed man.
"Um, let's see… since we walked in the room," Usopp answered. It was probably the one time he shouldn't have been so honest.
"Oh, so that explains the sniffling I heard…" Nick mentioned, an "Aha!" look on his face.
"I see. One more question. Why didn't you speak up earlier?" Zoro probed.
"It was nice being carried," Usopp responded in a completely innocent tone. It should come as no surprise to anyone that Zoro dumped his ass onto the floor.
"Ow! What the hell was that for!?" Usopp yelled, glaring up at the irritated swordsman.
"Do I look like a damn pack mule to you?" Zoro answered back.
"What else are those muscles good for?" Usopp tossed back.
"Bastard…" Zoro growled at him. Nick was watching the whole thing with amusement, his head turning back and forth like he was watching a tennis match.
Surprisingly enough, their antics were almost completely ignored by the other three in the room. The man and woman seemed to be having a staring contest with Luffy, who gazed back at them unflinchingly, waiting for their answer.
But their minds were a million miles away, his question having stirred up memories they'd rather have stayed buried. A stormy night, a ship traveling the waves, and a screaming child.
The woman started crying, the echoes of that tragedy reopening lost wounds. Those screams were the last thing she ever heard from her child, begging for them not to leave him.
She soon collapsed onto the ground, her body wracked with sobs, guilt gnawing at her conscience like a hungry wolf.
"Haruka!" the man cried out, kneeling down to wrap his arms around the distraught woman. His shout drew the attention of the other three, watching the scene unfold with various emotions.
Zoro, who was against any emotions that didn't involve battle or getting stronger, stared with indifference. Nick was curious as to why the woman was crying all of a sudden, figuring it couldn't be anything good. And Usopp…
"Luffy, what the hell did you do!?" he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the man.
"Me? I didn't do anything!" he yelled back defensively.
"It's not your friend's fault. His words merely brought up some bad memories," the man stated, holding his wife close. It didn't look like she would stop anytime soon, so he took it upon himself to explain, not fully understanding why he wished to do so.
There was just something about the group in front of him.
"It was a few years ago now, after the Bear King first took control of the island. He'd heard about the research we were doing on the island, and wanted to claim our findings for himself," the man started.
"What kind of research?" Usopp asked, staring at the two of them. There was something about them that seemed familiar, he just couldn't place his finger on what.
"We had discovered an ancient device called the Infinity Clock, created sometime during the Void Century. If the text we translated is to be believed, it would allow whoever controlled it to control time itself," the man answered, causing all of their eyes to widen.
"You're joking," Zoro said, completely caught off guard. None of the others were doing any better, especially Nick.
"What the hell!? Control time? You can't be serious! That wasn't in the original show, I'm sure of it. We're still in the East Blue for god's sake! Hell, we're only at the third island! We shouldn't be running into something like this so soon! What the hell is going on!?"
Unaware of the inner turmoil Nick was experiencing, the man continued his tale.
"I'm afraid not. We never got around to testing it, of course, fearing what the device would do. But the Bear King, at the very least, believes it. And if he gets his hands on such a power, I fear what would befall the world. That's why we…" he started, but seemed to choke up as well, relieving the same painful memory as his wife.
The Strawhats waited patiently for him to recover, enthralled and, in Usopp's case, terrified.
"That's why we sent our son away with the key that activates it with some friends of ours who financed our research. But the ship left in a terrible storm, and we later found out it never reached its destination," he finished, tears falling down his face.
"Oh, Akisu…" the woman muttered, desperately clutching onto a locket.
While the others looked down in sadness, even Zoro, Usopp had a confused look on his face, staring at the two while his mind put together pieces of a puzzle until he finally could see the picture.
"Ah! Your hair!" he suddenly shouted, making everyone jump.
"Goddamn it Usopp, you almost gave me a heart attack!" Nick shouted, clutching his chest. The two natives stared at Usopp with mild amounts of offense. Here they are, revealing their tragedy to these strangers, and he has the nerve to make fun of their hair?
"Who cares about your heart! It's their hair that's important! It's the same!" he yelled, getting confused looks from everyone.
"The same as what, young man? Only people from this island have hair like ours, so it shouldn't be possible for you to recognize it," the man said, casting a suspicious glare at him. Now everyone was staring at him, wondering if his outburst had a point to it.
"That name you mentioned, Akisu? That's your son's name, isn't it," Usopp said, staring directly at them. That's when the pieces started to come together for Nick and Zoro as well, remembering the kid's hair from the bath. They did think it was a bit strange, as no one else on the island had a similar hairstyle, not even his own brother.
Unlike his two friends, Luffy was completely lost.
"Yes, it is. Why do you ask?" the woman, Haruka, questioned.
"Listen, a few years ago, a little kid with hair just like yours washed up on shore, clinging to a piece of wood like it was a raft. He didn't have any memories of his past life, but we figured out his name from the stitching on his clothes. Akisu. That's what it said," Usopp explained, and now even Luffy seemed to be putting the puzzle together.
"Don't… don't do this. Don't you dare give me hope," the woman begged, more tears than ever streaming down her face. But it was clear from the look in her eyes, she desperately wanted to cling onto that spark of hope Usopp ignited within her heart.
Instead of answering, Usopp reached into his satchel, pulling out a piece of paper. He then made his way to the two grieving parents and knelt down beside them.
"Tell me, is this your son?" he asked, showing them the paper in his hands. It turned out to be a photo, one of Usopp and Akisu. The latter was sitting on the former's shoulder, holding up a bug catching net in one hand. Both of them had massive grins on their faces.
"Oh my god… It's really him. Akira, it's our baby boy," Haruka cried, though instead of tears of sadness and pain, they were tears of unfathomable joy. The woman, who thought she had sent her son to die on a ship, was just told he was alive. It might have been the happiest day of her life.
Everyone was feeling the emotions, with Usopp giving them a happy smile, tears of his own staining his cheeks. Luffy was also being a big baby in the corner, sobbing happily. Yes, everyone was feeling it.
Well, almost everyone.
"Should we tell them he was kidnapped by the Bear King?" Nick whispered to Zoro, a bit too loudly. His words caused everyone to stop crying and turn to him, disbelief clear in their expressions.
"I think you just did," Zoro stated amused.
"You heartless jerk! How could you!?" Usopp yelled, rushing towards him with Luffy hot on his heels.
"Yeah, what's wrong with you!?" yelled the rubber man.
"What, it's the truth! Unlike you Usopp, I'm not a liar!" Nick shouted, trying to remove the angry sniper's hands from his pilfered coat.
"There's a time and a place for these things!" Usopp countered.
"Yeah!" agreed Luffy.
"Luffy, do you even know what he's talking about?" Nick asked, glaring at him.
"Nope!" he responded, far too cheerfully.
"Goddamnit Luffy…" Nick muttered.
"Um, excuse me?" questioned Haruka, interrupting them. They turned to look at the woman, who was now standing up with her husband, wiping the last of her tears for her eyes.
"We want to help you," she stated, a resolute look on her face, one mirrored by the man standing beside her. The Strawhats shared an uncertain look.
"You sure? Can't promise you'll make it out alive," Zoro said, eye boring holes into them, searching for any sign of weakness. If they weren't prepared to die, then they would be useless.
"If our son really is alive, then this is something we're prepared to risk our lives over," Akira said, parroting Luffy from earlier. Looking tha man in the eyes, Zoro found what he was searching for, giving the man a nod of respect.
"Great, if that's the case, what can you tell us about this Bear King?" Nick asked, finally escaping from Usopp's clutches.
"The Bear King is a large man, over twice as tall as the average human, with strength to match his stature. But that's not the most frightening thing about him," stated Akira.
"That sounds pretty frightening to me," Usopp said, getting a roll of the eyes from Zoro.
"Wuss."
"The true terror of the Bear King lies in his Devil Fruit," continued the man, completely ignoring Usopp.
"Let me guess, he can turn into a bear?" mentioned Nick, almost sarcastically.
"You'd think that, but no. His Devil Fruit is called the Hard-Hard Fruit, and it allows him to make his body nearly impervious to damage," said Haruka. Nick tried no to look embarrassed by his earlier statement, but it was hard with Zoro giving him that mocking grin.
"Sounds like the Devil Fruit of a sex worker. Good thing we have a rubber for him," Nick mentioned, getting confused looks in return.
"What are you talking about?" Usopp asked.
"Oh come on! His power makes him hard? Luffy's made of rubber? It's a sex joke, people!" Nick explained. Usopp made a face of acknowledgement but said rubber man still looked confused.
"I don't get it," he said, making Nick sigh.
"Don't worry about it Luffy, just make sure to kick his ass when you see him."
"Oh, ok! Why didn't you just say so?"
"Hang on, so why is he called the Bear King then?" Usopp asked, confused. That was something they all wanted to know.
"It's because, well… he's a very hairy man," Akira said after sharing a look with his wife.
"...So he's an idiot, got it," Nick replied.
"There's also the rest of his crew to worry about, each of them are powerful in their own right. Especially the woman called Honey Queen," Haruka said.
"Yeah, we've met," mentioned Zoro. But hearing the woman's name sparked a memory.
"Hang on, didn't she mention something about finding a key?" he said, getting confused looks from the others. Luffy because he had no idea what Zoro was talking about, and Nick because he wasn't there, too busy stealing a ship from them. But his words did seem to spark Usopp's memory as well.
"Oh yeah, she did mention something like that… Hang on, doesn't that mean that skunk guy went to my house!? He better not have touched my stuff!" he yelled.
"Wait, are you telling me he has the key as well?" gasped Akira. The group of pirates shared a look before shrugging in response.
"Guess so," Nick said.
"How can you be so nonchalant about this!? That man could gain control over time itself!" Akira continued to scream.
"Look, I'm more concerned with crashing a wedding and making sure this hairy pervert doesn't lay a finger on Nami," Nick returned.
"And Kaya," Usopp chimed in. Akira could only stare at them with his mouth agape. He couldn't comprehend the thought process of these people.
Rubbing his temples to stave off the headache he could feel approaching, Akira let out a sigh, "Alright listen. The Bear King has one more extremely devastating weapon at his disposal, called the King's Cannon. It fire's off rounds so powerful they can cause small earthquakes when they hit. It might be the only thing that can penetrate the Bear King's defense."
Nick wanted to make another sex joke, but he didn't feel like having to explain it to Luffy. He wouldn't get it anyway.
"Well, lucky for us we have an expert sniper on hand! I'll make sure to penetrate him if it's the last thing I do!" Usopp shouted, looking far too proud of himself.
"I thought you wanted to penetrate Kaya?" Nick asked, giving Usopp an innocent look. He held himself back from one sex joke, but he just couldn't resist this one. It took the long nosed man a moment to understand, but when he did…
"Not like that you pervert!" he exploded, face red from embarrassment. Zoro chuckled at the man's predicament, while Luffy still looked confused. Made Nick wonder if anyone ever told him about the birds and the bees.
"So where is this cannon anyway?" Zoro asked.
"It's locked away in the vault. Luckily, we made a spare key just in case," Akira said.
"Heh, not bad," Zoro complimented.
"Perfect, guess that's the plan then. We'll cause a distraction while you two sneak and steal their cannon and Usopp penetrates him," Nick said, getting nods from the others.
"Will you let that go already!?" Usopp snapped.
"Not until it stops being funny," Nick answered.
"Alright, then can we get going already?" Zoro questioned, an eager look on his face. He was sick of all the talking and just wanted to cut someone up already.
"Wait, before you go! Usopp, was it?" Haruka asked, stepping towards the man.
"Um, yes?" he responded nervously.
"Can you… can you please tell me about Akisu?" she begged. Usopp didn't know how to respond, looking at the others with panic in his eyes.
Zoro let out an annoyed sigh, "Fine, just make it quick."
"Oh thank you so much!," she replied, grabbing Usopp by the hand and dragging him away.
"Big softy," Nick said to Zoro.
"Shut up," he shot back, making the other man chuckle at his expense.
"This is probably for the best anyways. I need to take a shit and Luffy probably wants to raid your fridge," Nick said.
"Ooh, I hope it has meat!" Luffy said with a smile, already sniffing the air in search of food. Unfortunately for Zoro, it would be some time before they left.
30 minutes later…
The group of four finally left the house, but not before Haruka extracted as many stories about her son as she could. And once she learned that Usopp basically adopted the boy, she practically strangled him with the hug she gave him.
Looks like Usopp gained a new mommy.
Luffy also ate practically everything in the house and Nick clogged the toilet. But that was a small price to pay to not shit himself from getting gut punched. He did not want to save Nami covered in his own shame.
Though that probably wouldn't surprise her, given how they met…
"Finally, I thought we'd never leave," Zoro complained as they made their way through town, heading straight for the tower. Haruka and Akira would take another entrance in, but the rest thought going right through the front door would make a better distraction, so that's where they were headed.
"What are you complaining about? They gave you booze, didn't they?" Nick responded, limping along next to them.
"Not good booze…" Zoro said, making Nick roll his eyes.
"Whatever. I'm more surprised that Akisu isn't your real brother. But I guess that makes sense given how much braver he is than you," Nick commented, almost off-handedly. Honestly, it didn't surprise him at all, given what he knew about the sniper, but he couldn't just come out and say it.
"Oi, what's that supposed to mean!?" Usopp yelled, glared at the brown haired man.
"You know what it means," Nick called back.
"Grr, bastard… Anyway, it doesn't matter if Akisu and I are related by blood. We're brother's, and that's all there is to it," Usopp told him.
"Did you share a cup of sake with him?" Luffy asked, causing all of them to look at him funny.
"Of course not, he's just a kid," Usopp responded. Luff made a confused face at that, crossing his arms over his chest as he thought over those words.
"Really? But I don't think I was much older than that when I shared a cup with my big brother," Luffy muttered. This once more caught all of their attention, though Nick had a slightly relieved look on his face. He was hoping that by bringing up Usopp and Akisu's brotherly relation, he could learn a bit more about Ace.
"Hang on, are you saying you have a brother?" Usopp asked, bewildered.
"Was the sake any good?" Zoro asked as well.
"That's the part you're curious about!?" shouted Usopp.
"Zoro, I think it's about time we talk about your drinking problem," Nick muttered, getting a scoff from the man.
"I don't have a problem."
"And yet, I can hear your liver screaming for help," Nick commented, before turning his attention back to Luffy. "Anyway, so are you saying you have a brother Luffy?"
"Hm? Oh yeah, his name is Ace. He left home to be a pirate a couple years ago. He's probably in the Grand Line by now," Luffy said with a smile.
"Is he a monster like you?" Usopp asked.
"I don't know about that, but I've never been able to beat him in a fight," Luffy responded.
"Sounds like a monster to me," Nick said with a grin. He was happy to find out Ace's story was relatively unchanged, at least so far. Perhaps he'd be able to steer him towards Sabo when he met him without telling everyone he was from another world.
The group continued to make small talk as they approached their destination, poking fun at each other the whole way. It was nice, Nick had to admit, and made him feel like he belonged here.
But once they finally reached the tower, which Nick still assumed was built because the Bear King was insecure about something between his legs, they found themselves stymied by a thick, metal gate.
"Well, who would like to do the honors?" Nick asked, looking at Zoro and Luffy, because neither him nor Usopp had a chance in hell of breaking that thing down. Not without raiding the ships at the port for all their gunpowder, at any rate.
"I've got this," Luffy said, approaching the gate while cracking his knuckles. He then took a deep breath before thrusting his hands behind him, stretching them close to a hundred feet.
On the other side of the massive iron gate, the Royal Flush pirates were enjoying their day of peace. Today was their bosses wedding day after all, and he told them they were allowed to relax and slack off a bit.
Since they weren't allowed at the reception, being lowly grunts, they decided to throw a barbecue party. The Bear King was generous enough to supply them with some decent cuts of meat. Nothing like what would be served at the reception itself, but pretty damn good nonetheless.
They had several stations set up with their designated cooks happily making meals for their friends.
"Ribs are done! Come and get 'em while they're hot!" shouted one, clacking the tongs together and getting several crewmates rushing towards him, each eager to fill their stomach.
Across the way, another group were playing frisbee, laughing and having a good time.
"Go long!" one shouted before throwing the disk with all his might. His friend chased it down, jumping high into the air, barely catching it.
"Woo, I got it!"
He was near the gate when he caught it. Just as he was about to throw it back, some voices from beyond the metal barrier caught his attention.
"Well, who would like to do the honors?"
"I've got this."
"Who the hell is that?" wondered the pirate, placing his ear against the metal. Something that would prove to be a fatal mistake.
"Gum-Gum: Bazooka!"
The thick iron barriers caved in before exploding outward, the raucous noise leaving many with ringing ears.
"What was that!?"
"Intruders!"
"They killed Steve!"
"No, I loved him!"
"…Gay."
"You're damn right it was gay!"
As the dust started to settle, they could make out four figures standing there. A man wearing a straw hat, a man with green hair and three swords, a guy with a long nose with shaky knees, and finally, a man with brown hair that looked like he picked a fight with a bobcat and barely made it out alive.
"Who the hell are you!?" shouted one of the angry pirates, with another cradling the corpse of Steve while crying.
"I'm Luffy. Now where are my friends?"
"Luffy?" asked one of the pirates.
"Never heard of him," said another.
"Just some nobody then."
"Oh good, I was worried for a second there."
"What about the others?"
"Probably nobodies too."
"Hang on, I think I recognize that guy!"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Green hair carrying three swords… Oh shit, it's the Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro!"
"What the hell is he doing here!?"
"Hunting pirates, what else!"
"Well, well would you look at that, seems like they've heard of me," Zoro said with a smirk, looking directly at Nick.
"Enjoy it while it lasts, Zoro," Nick muttered.
"If you've heard of him, then surely you've heard of the great Captain Usopp!" the lying sniper bragged, puffing out his chest.
"Usopp, there's no way in hell they've heard of you," Nick said.
"Did he just say Usopp!?"
"What!? Not him too!"
"You've got to be shitting me…" Nick mumbled, facepalming. Hell, even Usopp looked shocked that they actually recognized his name.
"I've heard he can take out a giant with a single punch!"
"Well I've heard his rage can destroy entire islands with his presence alone!"
"They say he can even tame Sea Kings!"
With each person yelling out another one of his supposed feats, Usopp's smugness grew more and more powerful. If something wasn't done, and soon, Nick feared the world wouldn't be able to contain his ego.
"What about the last guy!? Anybody recognize him!?" shouted another one, catching Nick's attention.
"Nope!"
"Not me!"
"Doesn't ring a bell!"
Nick's eye gained an angry tick to it as one by one they basically called him a nobody. His mood wasn't helped in the slightest by Usopp and Zoro, who were mocking his unknown status.
"Aw, poor wittle Nick. Nobody knows who he is," said Usopp, patting him on the shoulder.
"What are you so smug about? Everything they said about you is a lie," Nick growled, but his words had little effect on the man.
"Maybe, but they still know who I am," Usopp responded with mocking laughter.
"Hey, don't worry, you'll get there someday," Zoro consoled, though his voice was anything but consoling. It was more grating than anything else.
"That's it! You want to know who I am!? Then open up your ears because I'm only going to say this once! I'm Saint mother fucking Nick, and according to my list, you're all a bunch of naughty mother fuckers!"
"Saint? Don't tell me this guy's a Celestial Dragon!"
"Him? No way!"
"Yeah, he looks more like a Celestial Bitch to me!"
Nick was going to enjoy the coming slaughter far more than he should. Then they'll see who the real bitch is.