"How in Hades can you all be so calm about this? It's freaking weird."
It seemed to be Kumiko's turn to put me in my place. "Okaa-san. Since your brain seems to be turned off right now, let me summarize for you. And, no, please refrain from speaking for a while. If you do, you might have a stroke from all the yelling and foot-stomping."
Oh my god! She'd seen me do that too? I thought that I'd gotten to where I had complete control over that awful habit years ago. I immediately resolved to work harder on getting it to behave. It was unbecoming for an adult, and for someone my size, stamping my foot and acting like a child having a tantrum is not conducive to getting respect from bigger people.
And no, really, I don't like having to beat people into submission when they disrespect me because of my size or sex or both. It just happens sometimes. It's not like I invite it or anything.
"Ahem.... As I was about to say. Where else could we all be? Singly we are all what society as a whole would call 'complete misfits'.
"Jane is basically a hacker queen with her fingers in more figurative pies around the world than any other person on the planet.
"Kimiko and I were considered retarded and treated as simpletons simply because we could not speak. You on the other hand have treated us both as human beings ever since we met. And for that I shall forever be grateful.
"Ian seems normal but is in actuality so smart that he is working for the government on secret projects and has been kidnapped because of it.
"Now, you tell me where else on the entire planet the four of us could be both safe and happy.
"OK Okaa-san, it is your turn. Please be so kind as to go ahead."
Damn. One thing I hate is sarcasm. I hate it more when it's a young kid being sarcastic. I hate it most of all when they're right.
"I give. I give. You're right. Whoever, or whatever put us together seems to have done something smart. I just don't like being pushed into things, that's all."
Kimiko just had to have a turn at me now, probably just to show her sister that she could say something smart too.
"It's like they say: 'go with the flow'. Or 'play the hand you were dealt' or 'don't cry over spelt milk' ah....oh....'spilled milk'. In other words Kaa-chan, here we are, in the best possible place each of us could be. Quit acting like a little kid and instead of complaining be grateful! Aren't you happy?"
Oh God! "out of the mouths of babes" indeed.
I went over to her and gave her a hug that would have probably choked any other kid. I just knelt there and held her for what was probably quite a long time.
"Kaa-chan. I love ya too ya know. But, ah...don't ya think that's enough? The entire side of my shirt is wet now and my hair is getting damp. I think I need ta go take a bath."
I pushed myself back and went for the closest box of tissues. When I saw myself in the mirrored wall that we had put in so we could check our form when practicing solo, I was almost horrified.
Leave it to the Japanese desire to be non-confrontational. Kimi surely was a bit damp, but my face looked like I'd been dropped by a tornado and rolled on the dirt for a while. I surely needed a bath more than she did.
"OK. Why don't the two of us go get cleaned up. The rest of you can straighten the room...the 'dojo' and then go on with whatever you have planned for today. School starts in just over two weeks, so I expect that you'll all have some preparations to make."
I know that I mentioned before that I like the Japanese bathing custom of washing each other's hair, but it seems that I got the short end of the stick somehow. Kimiko had lovely, silky hair that was now down just past her waist, and my hair was in a long pixie-cut. She had a lot less work to do.
<
After our bath, I went to look up Kumiko.
"Honey, we'll have our next session with Master Oh on the Saturday before school starts. Let me know ahead of time if there's anything special you'd like to take for lunch."
"I shall make us some sushi -- vegetarian style. There is nothing else I particularly want except possibly to leave a bit early. It is fortunate that Winco carries sushi nori. However, their selection of Japanese items is extremely limited. If it is not a significant inconvenience, I should like very much to stop at Uwajimaya in Beaverton. I discovered their existence on the internet, and it appears that it has many products from Japan that one cannot purchase anywhere else in the area.
"There is, in addition, one other thing that I wish to say. It would not have been appropriate to say in front of the others. It has to do with my living here with you all.
"Now that I know how strong I am, I have come to realize that it was a true miracle that I did not kill either of those boys who were trying to torment me at the home. Had you and Master Oh not recognized that potential in me, I would probably have become an accidental murderer eventually. Or possibly, in the worst case, even an assassin.
"Do not look so surprised. Of course I know what I could have done, and it horrified me. But I had no way to control it. What you two have done is to offer me a means of control. It is extraordinarily apparent that were I not in sufficient command of my reactions, I could be, no, would be, extremely dangerous purely by accident. Now I have great hopes that I will be extremely dangerous only by intent, as are you.
"The example of your loving nature and true compassion for others is the best example in the world. How could we possibly live elsewhere?"
She hurrumphed and continued with a wry grin.
"Just this once I must concede that my barbaric sister was correct. Right here is the only place in the world that could possibly be home for all of us. We have not been manipulated. We have been blessed."
I got a bit misty-eyed again, but the water works had apparently mostly run dry earlier. So I gave Kumiko a moderately long hug -- not nearly as tight as the one that I gave Kimiko -- and settled for that. Probably a good thing as I was getting the feeling that Kumiko wasn't as physically demonstrative as her sister. Not that she didn't like a good hug now and then, but she seemed to prefer that such things be done in private.
"All right. Let's head back to the dojo and get you some more practice with your Tai Chi. The control inherent in that can be considered to be as good a discipline as meditation. In fact some call Tai Chi 'meditation in motion'."
"That sounds good Okaa-san-sensei. Let us go."
I did a bit of a double take at that means of address, then I saw that she was teasing me. Just this once I'd let her get away with it. So all I did was to take her hand and lead her back out to the dojo to practice.
--------------------
The next two weeks flew by as they usually do. Each day in itself seemed to be fairly long, but, taken as a whole, several days or weeks, or even months, can give you the feeling that they passed by in an instant. No I don't understand it either, but that's the way it works.
As Kumiko and I were preparing to leave on Saturday morning, Jane and Ian had their heads together and were discussing the latest software upgrades she had planned for his computer. As it turned out, Ian had no talent for software or hardware at all. He was strictly math and graphical representation of mathematical puzzles and problems. I had no idea what he was talking about when he got started on those subjects.
He was looking at Jane with the same look that an apprentice in any field would have as a master artisan demonstrated some difficult technique. Not totally awestruck, but close to it.
Kumiko saw the same thing I did, but obviously interpreted it differently. She did not look happy.
Ian looked up at us, seemingly a bit reluctantly, and saw that we were ready to head out.
"Jane nee-san is showing me some really fascinating stuff. I really don't understand most of it, but it's still fun to try to at least follow along.
"Oh, and I've obviously decided on what to call her. 'Cousin Jane' sounds a bit silly and is much too familiar. One needs to show a certain respect toward an elder, especially one as smart as Jane is, so in public I'll call her Jane nee-san."
Kumiko had begun to smile when he mentioned respect. I was getting the feeling that she would insist on at least a modicum of formality if she were on a roller-coaster. The smile had disappeared and was replaced by a slight frown when he mentioned how smart Jane was.
Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.
"OK kids. Have fun. We'll be back sometime this evening. We're going to stop in at Uwajimaya on the way home. We'll probably be getting some cold stuff so I'd rather not do it on the way up."
Jane made some sort of noise that was very like a hog grunting, just as she always does when I'm saying goodbye and she's almost too busy to go to the trouble of acknowledging another person's presence.
Ian waved and went back to adoring Jane's intelligence.
Once we got on the road, I let Kumiko pout for about half an hour. Then I got down to business. Some people say, "just leave it alone and it will sort itself out." Those people are total idiots. If things sorted themselves out, there wouldn't be so many TV programs and movies about people in great pain because they couldn't bring themselves to talk to each other.
No, it's not some random story line that the writers came up with. People only watch things that they can relate to. It makes everyone feel a LOT better about themselves when they see someone on the boob tube with the same problem, but worse.
<
So, anyway, when I felt that the time was right, I got started.
"Kumiko, you're mis-interpreting the situation."
"Whatever are you talking about Okaa-san?"
Typical reaction. As I expected. People seem to think that they're all inscrutable if they don't say anything. You'd think that most people would have at least a basic understanding of the terms "body language" and "facial expression."
"You're being rather silly about this. It's not as if Ian has any romantic interest in Jane."
"What makes you think that I would care about that even if he did? Why do you say something like that?"
See what I mean? Kids! They're almost as bad as adults. Unfortunately, as people age, they get even more convinced that they're great actors who can hide their feelings. In truth, we're all idiots when it comes to relationships.
"Ian looks at Jane just like anyone would when they see someone that they greatly admire doing something incredibly difficult and making it look easy. It has nothing at all to do with romantic feelings. And before you ask again, yes, I'm absolutely sure. They'd both 'look' different if they felt that way. Besides, Jane has no interest in romance. She says that she's much too busy for something like that. In fact, I think I'm going to tell you exactly what she told me about it the night she graduated from high school. It was so surprising that I memorized it. So just listen for a bit.
"What she said was:
"There's something I need to tell you, and I think now might be a good time for it. This is serious. Not trouble serious, but really, really important serious.
"No, it has nothing to do with my security business, or with money, but tonight seems the best time to tell you everything important that I've been holding back.
"I know that you know all of my friends and that I spend a lot of time with them. You've probably also noticed that I never dated anyone, of either sex. It's not that I find others unattractive, it's just that it's not for me.
"I've had this feeling for over a year now that there's something I need to do that's pretty important and probably dangerous in some way. I also know that if I do whatever it is, I won't have time for a normal family life -- you know -- spouse, kids, not even a steady partner.
"Frankly I've never had what you'd call 'sexual urges'. I'm a totally normal female, but otherwise I'm probably completely asexual. I mean, I can appreciate couples when they pair up, and I ADORE children. It's just that it's sort of a wistful feeling, of 'Ah, that's sweet, but it isn't for me'."
When I finished, Kumiko looked somewhat stunned.
"You've known her long enough to know that when she says something she means it. She doesn't ever say something without thinking it through first."
It was almost comical watching Kumiko's face. A sequence of emotions flitted across it. Relief was the most prominent, but, eventually, embarrassment took over as she realized what I was implying and that I'd seen what she'd been trying so hard to hide.
I was expecting the usual. Something like: 'It's not like that!" or "I'm not interested in him in that way!" What I got surprised me, totally. She didn't argue at all. She analyzed.
"I know what you are thinking. Because of my age, it is just 'puppy love', and I shall grow out of it or some such nonsense. Or maybe that it is much too soon for it to be real. After all, we have only known Ian for a few weeks.
"What you need to know is that in that one thing, Jane onee-san and I are exactly alike. We do not let ourselves be involved in anything without thinking it through as best we can. I have read about it, and I discounted it. After all, those Victorian romances that the Sister had were just fiction. Nothing in them could be real, or so I had thought. What I have discovered is that 'love at first sight' exists.
"Furthermore, the more I learn about him the stronger my feelings have become. We have very similar likes and dislikes. We even have similar personalities. We are more comfortable with a, how shall I say it, a more formal or structured approach to social settings when we are not having fun with the family. Even with our behavior toward other family members we tend to be a bit reserved.
"By the way, you had best get us each several bookshelves. Even with what is on the internet, we are going to be getting a lot of books. We both like the feel and smell of a real book. Seeing all those full bookshelves already in our home, it is more than obvious that you feel the same way about it."
Gods but she had a cute grin when she relaxed. I felt almost honored that she was able to totally relax with me. Or so I thought until she dropped the bombshell.
"There is something that Kimiko and I have not told you yet. She agreed to let me choose the correct time, and I have determined that right now is that time. We are not nine years old. We are most likely 11."
She sounded fairly calm, which is rather amazing considering that I'd learned by then that with a mental voice it's very hard to prevent some leakage of emotions. She was afraid of how I'd react.
That changed some things. A lot of them actually. Before I could get started at them, Kumiko continued.
"Things were always busy at the orphanage, and staff turnover was fairly high. Pay was bad and hours were long, so only fairly desperate people took the jobs. As you would expect, there was not much of a work ethic there."
A mental sniff sounds much like a real one. Exasperation combined with being appalled that someone wouldn't do their best whatever the work circumstances.
"It did not take us a long time to realize that if we blended in with the younger children, who were of a size with us, we were less likely to be singled out for abuse by those who were older. Once we did, it was not hard at all for me to find and destroy the records that told what year we had been left there and the estimate of our age.
"We realize that we are going to be 2 years older than the other children at school and that we are much more mature than they are -- well, at least I am."
Big grin from her there, then back to being serious.
"But, as you know very well, we have never been to school before. We have no idea how to behave or how to get along in a friendly way with other children who will be peers and not just inhabitants of the same dormitory. We need to practice with younger ones so that our mistakes are less likely to be noticeable.
"If things go well, in a year or so we can arrange to have it discovered that we are older than we thought and smarter than the school staff had thought and start middle school with children our own age.
"As far as our small stature is concerned, we shall, how is the saying? Oh yes, We shall 'live with it'. We always have.
"By the way, I looked at that growth chart Ian has. By American standards, we are only at the 5th percentile for height. Probably the 15th percentile for Japanese. What is rather interesting is that, projecting along the curves till age 20, it is likely that we shall be about the same height you are, give or take 2 or 3 centimeters."
"You explained that very well Kumiko. I applaud your reasoning. While I'm somewhat irritated, and very surprised by all this, you should know by now that I'm not the type to get angry about necessity."
<
"What does surprise me is that you'd still be trying to change the subject like this, even if you have been fairly deft about it. You should know that that doesn't work on me. The subject of our conversation is Ian and the fact that you're in love with him. What we need to decide, together, is what we're going to do about it."
Kumiko was very much like any other girl her age. She managed a very pretty blush. Then she shook herself and looked right at me.
"Very well Okaa-san. What should we do?"
"We? How'd I get roped into this? I'm prepared to advise you. I wasn't volunteering to take an active role here."
"You said that WE would decide what WE are going to do about it. Are you chickening out already?"
OOPS! Dang, but I did say that, didn't I? But this might work out better than I'd expected. After all, how many girls ask their mothers for advice about their love life? I should be grateful, and I was sure that I would be -- later -- probably MUCH later. At the moment all I could do was worry. I knew nothing about romance except what I'd observed and deduced. Like Jane I had no time for that in my life and, truthfully, I didn't miss it much. Hmmm. I didn't miss it at all.
Is part of me missing? Heck no. I'm busy with a fullfilling "job," I have a wonderful family, and I'm having a ball -- when I'm not scared to death. That's enough for anyone. Wanting anything more would be greedy, don't you think?
"Right then. First of all, you're going to have to avoid, completely, any direct action. As you said, you barely know each other. First you have to become his friend. In the marriages I've seen, couples who were not friends never stayed together -- at least not happily."
Kumiko managed to look completely shocked. "Marriage?! Okaa-san! Who said anything about marriage?"
"A young woman I know said that she always thinks things through, in detail, before she decides anything. That was you, wasn't it? Obviously you've figured out the consequences of your decision to pursue him."
I pulled over to the side of the road and just looked at her. For quite some time. Finally she did what I'd hoped and blushed even redder and lowered her eyes. Good. Complete honesty accomplished. Now I needed to work with it. And to keep them away from each other, physically, for several years.
I pulled back out on the road and took up where I'd left off.
"You said that you have similar interests. Explore that. Talk to him about the things you both like. If he responds with any kind of enthusiasm, pursue that subject. If he seems reluctant, drop it and move on to something else. You don't want him to think that you're boring or 'a pestering pain of a younger sister'. The latter is to be avoided at all costs. You may never get anywhere if he starts thinking that way.
"And whatever you do, don't try to pretend that you like something just because he does. Lying about something like that will eventually destroy any relationship you might develop."
"So Okaa-san, you are basically recommending patience. Extreme patience actually. Very well. I can do that. I shall consider it an extension of my meditative discipline. Yes. I can do this. This time I will not fail!"
That last part she practically whispered, obviously to encourage herself. Asking a nine, er..11 year old to be patient is something of a reach. Most children of 11 have about as much patience and focus as a baby deer. What was a bit scary was the last thing she said. Whatever it meant, I wasn't about to ask her about it. Parents need to practice patience too, no matter how trying the child is.
Kumiko continued to whisper to herself, too low for me to catch unless I strained. Let me tell you that trying to eavesdrop on a self-directed, telepathic conversation is beyond wearisome. Besides, she needed her privacy and I needed to concentrate on driving. We were getting close to Olympia and the traffic from there on could be rather nasty at times.