Gaius woke up early next morning. For the first time in a while, he was excited to start his day. He wanted to get the whole store business out of the way to then go talk to the dwarves. He was itching to try his hand at potion brewing. The last time he did any, he was still in school. He used to be pretty good. The prospect of going back to that, and getting paid for it, was comforting to him.

  The imp was flying about the store, tidying the place up, when Gaius opened the doors. A couple of customers was already waiting on the other side.

  One was a brown-haired giant of a man wearing a short-sleeved lace-up shirt. The laces had to hang pretty loosely to contain the man's sleeve-bursting physique.

  Pressed to his side was a young woman of pale complexion and glossy black hair. She was dressed in a black evening gown decorated with what looked like raven feathers. For whatever reason, the sight of these feathers put an image of plucked Vasily in Gaius' head.

  This amusing snapshot was a big part of why Gaius immediately took a liking to these two. His idle merchant's smile was replaced with a genuine one.

  He invited the couple inside and said, "Gaius Chanter, but you can call me Guy. How may I help you two?"

  The woman ignored him. She exchanged meaningful looks with her companion and slinked towards the shelves where she proceeded to silently browse the merchandise.

  The man returned the smile, grabbed Gaius' hand, and shook it energetically.

  "Good day to you, sir Chanter," he said. "I'm Victor and this magnificent creature is the love of my life, Alessia. I'm here to buy a sword. Plus, whatever the lady desires."

  Victor seemed genuine enough, but that didn't make him seem any less crazy. His accent placed him somewhere to the north of Mystlund, a densely-forested land famous for its raiding-and-pillaging types. And yet his way of speaking was almost comically noble.

  Taken aback by Victor's energy, Gaius gave him an opening to look around. This was when the big guy spotted the imp sweeping the floors on the other side of the store.

  He gasped and dropped the large sack he was carrying on his back. Free from the burden, he bent his knees into a fighting stance and put up his meaty fists.

  "Sir Chanter," he then whispered. "Do not be alarmed, but there's a hellish fiend haunting your fine establishment. Move aside and let me deal with this vile intruder."

  Gaius didn't need to turn around to confirm that the fiend Victor was talking about was the imp. The creature's cackle was all the confirmation he needed.

  "Victor, is it?" Gaius said. "Take it easy, man, and put those things down before you get arrested for brandishing weapons of terrible destructive power."

  It took a few seconds for Victor to realize Gaius was talking about his hands, but he was still hesitant to relax his battle-ready stance.

  "But the demon," he protested.

  "Is harmless," Gaius insisted. "In fact, he's been working here longer than I have. You shouldn't be alarmed."

  It wasn't until Alessia approached the creature, studied it, and said, "He looks kind of cute," that Victor actually let his guard down.

  The imp responded to Alessia's remark by snarling and turning his back to her, which prompted a quick quiet laugh out of the gloomy woman.

  "Strange place, this Caladonia," Victor finally said.

  He put the straps of his travel sack back on his shoulders and made his way up to the counter. Gaius, who couldn't really disagree with the man on that one, joined him there.

  "Now, you mentioned something about a sword?"

  "Yes. I need a sword. Well-balanced and large enough to not look like a tiny toothpick in my hands. These Caladonians love their rapiers, but that's not my style. I need something that can cleave a catoblepas in two."

  "I don't think there are any catoblepae in these parts," Gaius pointed out.

  "Just an example," Victor said. "I could say cow, but I like milk, and what sort of hero goes around butchering innocent cattle."

  "So basically, you want something big, sharp, and imposing," Gaius summarized.

  Victor nodded.

  "Then what do you need a sword for? Swords are for nobles and show-offs. Be a real man, get an axe," Gaius suggested.

  "I knew you would say something like that. But I must insist on a sword. The Official Guide to Adventuring tells us not to listen to shopkeepers trying to unload their useless junk and insist on buying what we came for and nothing else."

  "The official what to what?"

  In response to Gaius' confusion, Victor dropped his improvised backpack again and after digging through it for a while, produced a glossy tome that positioned itself as the ultimate tool for any youth who wanted to become a respected adventurer in the shortest amount of time possible.

  It took a lot for Gaius not to comment on the incompatibility of the words adventurer and respectable. But despite the book's ridiculous premise, he couldn't help but feel a certain degree of respect for Victor. A guy like him who knew how to read and possibly even enjoyed it? You give him the benefit of experience, and you'll get a one-of-a-kind warrior.

  Gaius breathed in and out, then said, "Kid, forget the book, I'm giving you good advice that'll actually save your life. For free, I might add. And anyway, why do you even want to be an adventurer? It's not exactly the most reliable way to support a family."

  Out of Gaius' field of vision, Alessia sighed and said, "Now you've done it."

  Meanwhile, Victor was already going.

  "You see, I used to live in this village lost in the evergreen woods of the north. There wasn't much to do there but hunt and fish. I wasn't particularly good at either of those. Too big and loud to track a beast, and too impatient to sit in one spot for hours. I wasn't the most popular guy around."

  "But then one day, the elder's daughter disappeared. There were traces of witchcraft found in her room, and so everyone knew that some woodland hag must have snatched fair Alessia to use her in vile rituals. The elder couldn't sit by and let that happen, but he was old and frail and had no sons. He announced that whoever finds his daughter and returns her unharmed, will get his approval to marry her."

  Gaius turned to Alessia. He now understood her earlier sigh. Victor must have been quite fond of telling that story. Listening to it once was already starting to be a chore. He couldn't imagine being subjected to it time and again.

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  Looking at victor's wife, it dawned on Gaius that she didn't look like the type to get kidnapped by a witch. Nor was she likely to marry whoever her father told her to. This realization piqued his curiosity and made him listen to Victor's story with renewed interest.

  "The elder's offer was an enticing one," Victor continued. "Some wanted to find Alessia because, well just look at her. It should be obvious." His words were filled with pride unmarred by jealousy. "Others felt like inheriting the elder's holdings would do them good. In the end, most of them returned having found nothing, while some didn't return at all. This was when I decided to try my luck. I told myself I would either find Alessia or die searching for her. There was no other future for me in that place. It was a difficult journey, wading through the woods looking for a witch no one had seen before. I had to make my own shelter, fight off various creatures of the land and even an occasional monster, but I never turned back."

  "Then one night, when the full moon was up and I was freezing on a bed of leaves, I heard chanting. It was coming from a glade nearby. There she was, Alessia, naked as a babe, pardon my descriptive language. She stood inside some arcane symbol, surrounded by all matter of unnatural beasts. Some of them, not unlike your colleague over there." Victor pointed towards the imp.

  "The witch was already gone, having left Alessia to be torn apart by those fiends. There wasn't a lot of time to think, so I grabbed my walking stick and rushed to her aid. It was a fierce bloody battle. First, I was wailing at those repulsive beasts with my staff, and when it broke, I kicked, punched, and bit them. I can't really say how long the battle lasted, but I managed to come out on top. Or at least that's what Alessia tells me. I lost myself in my battle rage and once the fight was over, I passed out. She brought me back with an herbal concoction, and together, the two of us traveled back home."

  Gaius shot a suspicious glance at Alessia. She was ignoring him, preoccupied with the reagent stand.

  "When we got back, the elder was overjoyed to see his daughter. He was less overjoyed with me being the one who had saved her. Like I've said, I wasn't the most popular guy. He tried to go back on his word. Instead of marriage and inheritance, he offered me a fur coat and a hat."

  Gaius shook his head. "Old men and their free hats."

  Puzzled by Gaius' remark, Victor pushed on with his story anyway.

  "I was prepared to accept that insulting offer, but then Alessia herself took my hand and said that if her father didn't value his word, she didn't need a father like that. They got into it, things got heated, I had to defend her, and before we knew it, the two of us were exiled. Not exactly happily ever after, but we were free to choose our own path. After discussing our options, we figured I was good at fighting evil, so we decided to try our luck at being traveling adventurers. There were ups and downs on that road, mostly downs, but now we find ourselves in this fine town with no equipment, but at least some spare coin to start over."

  "Now, you see, sir Chanter, why I need that sword? I need this to work out. And for that I need to look imposing."

  Having listened to all of that Gaius was starting to feel like he was pretending to be a bartender instead of a merchant. When coming up with his current persona, he never imagined he would be standing behind a counter dispensing wisdom. But, in his line of work adaptability was valued for a reason. And he already had a plan involving these unlikely lovers. A plan that revitalized his original money-making idea.

  "Look, Victor," he said. "I may not be an adventurer like you, but I got an early start on the whole traveling thing. I've been around. And let me tell you, be it a dark alley, a misty bog, or a deep dungeon, no one respects a guy with just a sword unless he can do something extra with it, like say summon lightning bolts from his fingertips. I may be presuming here, but I suspect you're not about that."

  Victor nodded, slowly.

  "You come from the far north. Most people see someone like you, their mind jumps straight to savage barbarians berserking on mushrooms. If you want others to take you seriously, you listen to me and buy an axe. Maybe grow a beard too. Learn to grunt instead of your sir this, sir that shtick. Do you even know you're not using these honorifics right?"

  There was a fair bit of hesitation in Victor's voice when he said, "Well, yes, I know they're usually reserved for the members of nobility, but the guide says knights should be courteous at all times. I want to be a knight, so I act accordingly."

  The guide again.

  "No, I mean you're not saying it right. You need to use sir with the first name not last." Gaius was starting to lose patience. He never considered himself to be a good teacher. "Ah, forget it," he snapped. "Just drop the sirs. And get an axe."

  "I don't know." Victor was hesitating. It was progress already. "Axes seem crude."

  "What's wrong with axes?" Gaius asked. "I use an axe."

  He produced his handaxe and showed it to Victor.

  Victor wasn't impressed. "It looks kind of small."

  "A-ha," Gaius exclaimed and ducked under the counter.

  He produced a large scroll that refused to unfurl properly. After using assorted clutter from under the counter to hold the scroll in place, he pointed Victor to a particular section describing the types of axes Vasily's Emporium had in stock. The list read: small, medium, large, two-handed, and barbarian. The accompanying pictures showcasing those double-edged monstrosities that bordered on a polearm got Victor all excited about the prospect of swinging one.

  Before long, Gaius sent Victor out back to practice his chopping. With the man busy, Gaius approached his wife.

  "I take it the old witch didn't really exist?" he asked straight out the gate.

  Slowly, Alessia put the vial she was examining down. Then, she looked at the imp, who was busy with another customer that came in while Victor was telling his story.

  "Oh, she existed," Alessia purred. "She was my mentor. But she died years ago. I couldn't stand being stuck in that dump, so I ran away. Didn't expect anyone to find me. Victor did. I improvised."

  "Why stick with him once you got out?"

  Alessia approached the windows overlooking the backyard where Victor was fighting imaginary foes with a giant axe.

  "Just look at him," she said. "At first I thought having an oaf like him around would make travel easier."

  "And then you somehow managed to actually fall for him," Gaius finished her thought. "Rookie mistake. But, we've all been rookies once, I guess. Hope it works out for you kids."

  "I hope so too," Alessia said. "There's just something about him. When he dispatched my minions, I was furious. When he passed out, my first thought was to finish him off, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. And now that I know him better, I'm happy I didn't. And if you so much as hint at anything about this to him, I'll turn you into a toad."

  Alessia definitely looked serious while saying that. Her thin pale features and ominous attire would have put a scare into most.

  "Come now," Gaius said. "I'm from Mystlund. I've studied curses in school, I know how they actually work. No need to put on airs for my benefit."

  Alessia tilted her head and all of a sudden flicked Gaius on the nose.

  "Then here's a hex for you instead. If you tell Victor anything about this conversation, every time you put your shoes on, there will be a sharp rock inside."

  Truth be told, Gaius' understanding of curses wasn't exactly extensive. He couldn't be certain if what Alessia just did was for real, or another performance.

  Either way, he said, "Don't worry, I have no intention to. And even if I did, something tells me he wouldn't believe me."

  "How so?" Alessia asked.

  "Mostly, because I suspect he already knows the truth."

  "No way. He wouldn't want to be anywhere near me if he knew."

  Outside, Victor attacked the air a little too hard, lost his balance, and nearly fell over. When he regained his footing and looked around to see if anyone caught that, both Gaius and Alessia were conveniently looking away.

  "The guy grows up in the woods, is built like a dire bear, and he somehow manages to teach himself to read," Gaius said on the other side of the window. "How many others in your village knew how to read, apart from the two of you?" This wasn't a question he needed an answer to. "No, he's smarter than he looks. But I suspect, he may be lying even to himself about it. That whole noble warrior act he's putting on? It may be his way of compensating for all that denial he carries around."

  Alessia heard him out without trying to interrupt. Finally, she said, "Are you a merchant or a shaman?"

  "Neither," Gaius said. "All that stuff is just something you might may want to discuss with him at some point. My angle here is I want to be your employer. I would ask Victor, but something tells me, you're the one with the final say in your partnership."

  After considering Gaius' words, Alessia asked, "What's the job?"

  "You two are new to this town, and no one knows who you are. You'll probably be running minor errands for a while. And while you do, if you find anything odd or unusual, something you can classify as an artifact, you bring it here, I'll take it off your hands."

  "Why us?" Alessia asked.

  Gaius looked at her, trying to come up with a convincing lie. This didn't feel like the time for one.

  "The local crime lords don't like me much. They've instructed adventurers to not unload their finds in my store. They're petty like that. Since you're new here, chances are they haven't gotten to you yet. And you're small-time, but also look dangerous enough to not be worth intimidating. You're perfect."

  Alessia looked around the store in a quick furtive manner. She examined the rows of shelves, the imp, and finally Gaius.

  She then said, "Fine. I'll talk to Victor about this. A man who's not afraid to work side by side with a demon is no ordinary merchant. I'll keep your offer in mind, sir Guy."

  There was a hard to pin down mix of respect and mockery in Alessia's voice.

  Story Facts - Chapter 11