When the clown entered the loft, Jeremy, crouching next to the entrance, lashed out like a snake, stabbing the clown in the neck faster than he would have believed possible.

  The clown didn't seem to notice, slamming Jeremy's chest, stunning him, grabbing him, and pinning him to the floor, green monster blood pouring out of its wound. It opened its mouth and tried to bite his face off.

  Jeremy screamed and twisted. The green monster blood made him slippery enough to slide out from under the clown and stab it again, and again.

  This time, when the clown vanished, a healing potion appeared on the floor, and he gained a level.

  About time. When he stopped shaking, he drank the healing potion.

  He leaned against the side of the loft. Whatever passed for morning in the dungeon had finally come, and the clowns, (minus the three he'd killed) were getting up. He pulled out his water bottle and took a drink. Killing monsters was hot sweaty work.

  He'd leveled up to 4. As a rogue, he automatically got a point in Agility, Dexterity, and Perception. This meant he had a total of 7 other stats that remained the same and a single point remaining. At this point, he needed more strength, and though his sawdust dungeon rations were supposed to give him strength and his stomach was about to burst with all the rations he'd been force-feeding himself, he had yet to see an increase. He put his remaining attribute point in Strength. He felt a little stronger. But that could have been his imagination.

  He wondered what level Mezirma and his three companions were. Level 30? higher?

  Back to work, he guessed.

  Clown Lord wandered into the loft, “Ah, little adventurer, you look much better. You haven't been killing my clowns in your spare time, have you?”

  Uh, oh. How much did Clown Lord know? Jeremy quickly shook his head. “No.”

  “Such a lazy adventurer.” Clown Lord made a theatrical sigh. “But I have to work with what I have. You seem recovered and I want my magic loom.”

  “Yes, Clown Lord.” Jeremy stood up. It looked like he wasn't getting his days off after all.

  Clown Lord and five of his clown subjects led Jeremy through a series of passages, traveling for hours with no rest. They led him to an entrance he'd never have found on his own. Clown Lord did something to the wall, and a doorway appeared, much larger than the doorways he'd encountered previously. The 7-ft-tall Clown Lord could have entered this doorway with three feet to spare on top and sides.

  The stone door opened with a loud nails-on-chalkboard screech. Clown Lord waved him through with a big smile. “The Big likes eating adventurers even more than I do. Try not to get caught.”

  When Jeremy's Detect Traps found nothing, he activated Sneak and stepped through the entrance. The hallway was as wide as his front yard and maybe 20 feet high.

  The hallway soon split into two separate paths. He wasn't sure which way to go. Unlike the dungeon's red path, no arrows showed him the way. He chose the right path, alternating Detect Traps with Sneak. There was another two-way split in the passageway. He took the right passage again, then there was a three-way. When he encountered dead ends, he backtracked and tried another passageway.

  What he needed was a map or some way to make one. All he could do was try to memorize the different passages.

  When he ran out of mana he rested in the shadows until he recovered, eating a dungeon ration and drinking some water. He didn't want to risk getting dehydrated like the day before.

  He felt a thudding from the distance, like a heartbeat, or maybe the steps of a giant.

  The thudding grew louder. As he got deeper into the maze, he began to encounter traps. Simple traps first: Candy traps, tiled floors, and some kind of trap involving invisible string crossing the hallway. He wondered what the latter traps would do if he set them off, but felt it best not to find out. He found a fourth kind of trap. Twenty feet of the dungeon floor glowed red. He turned back to try another passageway.

  “I smell adventurer!” The Big was walking down a nearby passage, every step a loud thud.

  Uh oh.

  Jeremy turned back to the trap. Could he jump it? Before he'd leveled up in the dungeon, he'd have said absolutely not. But between his heightened Strength and Agility, he might have a chance.

  He stepped back far enough to get a good running start. Thump, Thump, Thump. The Big's steps grew louder—he was getting close.

  Jeremy ran as fast as he could toward the trap. When he reached the edge, he jumped, pushing off into the air as hard as he could. It was a very impressive jump, and he almost made it. He landed inches short of the other side, and the floor dissolved beneath him. He grabbed the edge of the floor in front of him and pulled himself up. Looking behind him, he could see sharpened metal stakes coming within inches of his feet.

  He pulled himself over the edge and ran. One bend and a side passage later, he entered a huge room. At the center of the room was a giant-sized circular stone house with a giant-sized front door made from large bones. He wasn't sure he could open the door even if the Big wasn't nearby. He ran around the house, looking for windows or some other entrance. The windows closest to the ground glowed red as traps; a window in the back of the house near the roof didn't. He threw himself on the stone wall of the Big's house and climbed.

  There was no way he could have climbed this before he'd become an adventurer. With his new Agility and Dexterity, he was able to use handholds that wouldn't have existed for him before.

  Thud! Thud! “I smell adventurer!” the Big stomped into the cavern.

  Jeremy focused on climbing faster. He had 10 feet to go. Fortunately, he was out of the Big's line of sight. The Big looked around, occasionally making loud sniffing noises.

  Jeremy made it to the window. It wasn't a window—more of a hole in the stone wall of the large house, barely large enough for him to squeeze through. So he did.

  Sitting on the narrow stone window ledge, his eyes got used to the dim light, he reactivated Sneak. Below him was a hot, smoky stove holding a large bubbling pot of something that made Jeremy gag. In addition to the smell, the heat coming off the pot was making him sweat, and the smoke caused his eyes to water. A stone table next to the stove held a manhole-cover-sized plate and bucket-sized mug. On the opposite side of the house, there was a large stone slab. A bed? Next to the bed, maybe fifteen feet away from his perch, a twenty-foot-tall box covered with the hide of some large, unknown creature. Some kind of cupboard or cabinet?

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  If I were a magic loom owned by a Giant/Big/Whatever it is, where would I be? he thought. Nowhere close to the ground, that would be hard for a large monster to get to. And not near the stove because the heat might ruin it. So he guessed the cupboard.

  It was fifteen feet away, but much lower than he was. He could probably jump there from here, but the landing might be a problem, and judging from the agitated walking and shouting from the Big outside, whatever he did, it'd better be quick.

  “I smell adventurer!” the Big shouted and pushed open the door. Just as quickly, Jeremy ducked back out the window, pulled one of the low-quality leather boots he'd been wearing before he'd received his new ones from his pack, and threw it as hard as he could over the roof of the house.

  The Big must have heard something because he turned around and stomped back outside again, slamming the door behind him.

  Jeremy shot through the window back inside. He'd have to chance it.

  Using the window as a perch, he flung himself at the cupboard. I hope the cabinet is soft, he thought.

  It wasn't. He slammed into the top of the cupboard with a thud that could have woken the dead. There was just enough give in the top shelf to prevent him from breaking his legs. But it hurt. Before the Big could come back, Jeremy pulled the hide to the side of the cupboard and ducked inside.

  And he'd thought it smelled bad outside the cupboard. Crouched on the top shelf, he touched some kind of stinky meat. Too dark to see, he felt around for anything that might be a magic loom. Meat. Yuck. More meat. A pot of something that felt disgusting and smelled worse. Not this shelf. He quickly dropped down to the next shelf. The door opened again, and the Big stormed back inside.

  “Smell adventurer. Rarrr!” The Big was becoming agitated. There was a loud banging sound and stone moving against stone. At least Jeremy wouldn't have to worry about making noise.

  Sneak hadn't fully recovered from last time, but Jeremy reactivated it and stopped breathing. With an insane amount of care, he felt around. This shelf seemed more promising. He found two metal block-like shapes next to each other, but nothing that felt like strings. He continued feeling around. Strings! He groaned. It was too long and narrow, some kind of instrument, a violin or banjo, maybe.

  Jeremy ignored the Big tearing his house apart, and continued searching. Success! A square-shaped object about six inches across, with strings running across it. Yes! He stuffed it into his pack.

  How was he going to get out of here?

  The door was still open. All he had to do was live long enough to get through it. Sneak was almost out of power and it was just a matter of time before the Big found him. He grabbed his second leather shoe from his pack and carefully crawled to the side of the cupboard. Looking through the narrow gap between the monster skin and cupboard, the Big was huge, at least 10 feet tall and twice as wide as Clown Lord. At the moment, the Big was crouched down checking underneath his bed. Jeremy tossed his second boot at the stove. There was a splash as he somehow got it into the monster's rank stew. the Big rushed over to the stew, pulling out the leather boot and stuffing it into his mouth, then poked at the pot of stew with his finger, looking hopeful.

  Jeremy jumped down from the cupboard and ran away as if some really large man-eating monster was chasing him.

  “Rarrrr!” BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. The Big was after him.

  Uh, oh. Jeremy had hoped he'd get a little more of a head start. He ran down the same passageway he'd arrived. Any other exit would have unknown traps and dead ends, making it suicide. He jumped over the trap with the spikes, once again barely making it.

  Jeremy hoped the Big, with all his bulk, wouldn't be able to make the jump. Instead, the Big entered the passageway and, seeing Jeremy, charged, stepping into the pit and not even noticing the metal spikes that he crushed beneath his bare feet.

  You've got to be kidding! Jeremy thought as he ran.

  He remembered, kind of, the passageways he'd taken. A couple of times, he came close to running into a dead end, which would have killed him, but he somehow avoided this.

  The invisible thread trap across a passageway turned out to be darts flying from the walls. He learned this because the Big just walked through this section of the maze without even noticing. When the Big came to a tile trap, the stone block falling on top of him shattered, gravel flying everywhere. For a second, the Big looked bewildered, as if wondering what had happened. Jeremy wasted no time in running away.

  Jeremy pounded on the door he'd come in through. “Let me out!” he shouted between breaths over the thunderous footsteps of the Big close behind.

  “Did you get it?” Clown Lord asked.

  “Yes!”

  The door flew open. Jeremy was dragged out, and the huge door was slammed shut in the Big's face.

  BOOM! The Big slammed into the door hard enough to cause dust to come down from the ceiling and make the whole dungeon shake. “MY ADVENTURER!”

  “Give me,” Clown Lord snarled at Jeremy.

  Jeremy quickly reached into his pack, praying he'd grabbed the right item from the dark shelf, and pulled it out. It was a square about six inches across with string going up and down it. He could tell he'd guessed right from the look on Clown Lord's face. The monster clown positively glowed with happiness, cradling the magic loom like a mother might her newborn child.

  BOOM! The Big slammed into the door again. “MY ADVENTURER!” he shouted again.

  “Nobody likes a sore loser!” Clown Lord shouted back. “It's not my fault you're dumber than a box of rocks!”

  “RARRR!” BOOM! The Big was not taking it well.

  “Are you sure he can't get out?” Jeremy asked, hands on his knees, breathing hard.

  “Of course. He's at the edge of his territory. Same reason I couldn't enter the maze and steal the magic loom for myself,” Clown Lord smirked. “You will be wanting your reward. Come.”

  “Will there be a third quest?” Jeremy gasped out, following the clowns. Thinking that if there wasn't, he might want to run away.

  “Your third quest will require preparation,” Clown Lord said with an evil grin. “Don't worry, you'll find the third quest worthy of your time and abilities.”

  “Okay,” Jeremy said, so tired he could barely put one foot in front of the other.

  By the time they'd returned to The Fun House, it had turned into whatever passed for night in the dungeon. The only difference between dungeon night and day, as far as Jeremy could see, was the torches grew dimmer at night.

  Clown Lord gave Jeremy the sword and the armor. The new armor felt lighter and more comfortable than his old, and the sword fit his hand like it was meant to be there and seemed to sing when he swung it around.

  “Do you even know how to hold a sword?” Clown Lord asked, looking contemptuous.

  “This is the first time I've held a sword. So, no, I don't,” Jeremy said, feeling defensive. For the thousandth time, he knew nothing of adventuring and didn't want to be here.

  “As an adventurer, having a monster teach you how to use a sword should be the most humiliating moment of your life. I want you to take this shame to your grave.” Clown Lord went to him, and adjusted his fingers. “This is how you hold a sword. This is how you swing it.” Clown Lord surprisingly gently guided him through basic swings and thrusts. “Here is a basic drill for you to work on. Slash, slash, thrust, parry, thrust, slash. Oh, do you want to join us for dinner? Roast spider again. My second favorite meal.”

  “No thanks, Clown Lord, I'm not hungry.”

  “Very well.”

  After a short meal break, Jeremy practiced what he'd been shown, performing the drill again and again.

  It was amusing that Clown Lord thought having a monster teach swordplay, or anything else for that matter would be humiliating. His friend had been killed in front of him when he could do nothing but run away. That was humiliating.

  He could still see Urg's shocked, disbelieving eyes as she choked on her own blood. He kept wondering, could he have done something? He didn't see how. He'd barely gotten away with his life.

  He kept practicing, imagining it was Mezirma's adventurer party he was cutting into.

  He practiced with the sword until he had the passive skill swordplay and he was too tired to continue. Then he worked on poison resistance, ate some more dungeon ration bars, and practiced Sneak until he couldn't and that was it for the night.

  He woke up the next morning too sick to move.

  I'm wondering if the age of this MC is upsetting to readers, and that's why I have such a small following. Would people prefer a story of an older MC who emerges from such a dungeon and has to cope with the real world?

  Readers?