On a silent night, when all have slept, a hole opens—a gash across reality. The once-still night burns with the screams of the damned before spitting out Felix and Val.
Felix dusts himself off. Spirit dust? Maybe. “You know, I’m starting to wonder whose spirits those are.”
Val shrugs. “I don’t think either of us would want to know.”
Felix shrugs back. “So… is this the house?”
“It seems so.”
“But it looks… normal.”
Val gives him a ft look. “It has eaten about a hundred souls, Felix.”
“So, pretty typical for a house?”
“I don’t know what house you live in.”
“It’s—”
“I don’t want to know.” Val starts walking toward the house.
Felix jogs after her, studying the structure.
It’s a rundown wreck, its entrance gaping like a mouth frozen in horror. The trees around it stand dead, the birds hide, and the very air seems to dim in its presence.
Felix barely hesitates before running inside. “It’s safe!” he calls.
Val palms her face. “Good lord.”
Inside, the air reeks of rotting wood. The floors creak unevenly underfoot.
“So, what are we trying to find?” Felix asks, gncing around.
“Any clues. Anything reting to the lost souls.” Val pushes through the door.
“Affirmative!” He runs into the living room, the scent of decay thick as he moves across the warped floorboards.
He lifts a pillow. “If there’s no retirement, do we have vacation days?”
Val flicks her eyes across the room, scanning. “You get one month every year.”
Felix pauses. “Holy shit, that’s a lot.” He checks under the sofa. “Wait, how much are we getting paid again?”
She finishes her scan. “About one million credits, more or less.”
“Nice.” He pumps his fist. “I knew those internships would be good.”
“I refuse to comment on that.” Then her eyes go still. Focused. “Yup. Just as I thought.”
Felix runs a hand along the wall. It shudders beneath his touch.
“The house is the monster?”
“Yes.”
“But we’re inside the house?”
“Yes.”
“Huh.” Felix scratches his chin. “Should we run?”
“Hmm…” Val lifts a finger. The ceiling splits open, jagged and hungry. “Yes.”
Felix scoops Val up. A second ter, he’s sprinting for the window. “You know, I feel like we should’ve seen this coming.”
Val’s arm unfolds into a cannon. She takes aim. “You don’t say.”
A powerful bst rips through the wall as Felix leaps through.
“What’s the pn?” he asks.
Val’s eyes fsh red. An arm rings from her head. “I’m making one.”
Felix nds, rolling to his feet as he watches the house, his eyes narrowing. “There’s definitely a lot of trapped souls in there.”
“Evidently. The question is how they all got there.”
“Can’t we just break the house?”
Val looks at him like he’s an idiot. She lets the silence hang, long and painful.
“I’m not gonna respond to that. You know what you just said.”
“Yeah, I kinda felt it was stupid when it was leaving my mouth.”
He watches as the destroyed wall stitches itself back together.
“So? What’s next?”
“We have to investigate the reason for its existence.”
Felix gnces around—then sighs. “That’s gonna be a problem.”
Police cars surround them.
Val reaches into her bag and pulls out something small, cylindrical, and made of polished silver and chrome.
Felix stares. “Is that what I think it is?”
Val nods. A pulse of light shutters out from the device as she speaks:
“All of you arrived on scene and found nothing. You will return to your previous locations and report no anomalies unless asked.”
The officers blink. Then, as if nothing happened, they turn, get into their cars, and drive away.
“Oh, that’s what it was.” Felix mutters.
“What did you think it was?”
“Well, you know. Small? Cylindrical? Inside your purse?” He grins.
Val inhales sharply and walks away. “Don’t engage with the stupid. We don’t engage with the stupid.”
“So is that a no?”
“Not talking to you!” Val snaps as the sun rises over the horizon. The suburbs wake with it.
Later…
Felix gorges himself on eggs and bacon. “This is paid for, right?”
“Yes. Eat as much as you want.” Val sips her coffee.
“So, you still have no idea where to start?”
“I’ve already connected to this world’s internet. Not much info.”
“Have you tried hacking into the government database?”
“Highly illegal.”
Felix stares at her. “Really?”
Val stares back. Sips her coffee. Stares some more. Exhales. “Good point.”
Felix nods and gnces around the diner they found themselves in. It was the closest one they could get to, and since the sun had only just risen, it wasn’t bustling—yet. He takes another bite of his meal, mulling over his thoughts, before standing up.
“What are you doing?” Val asks.
Felix wipes his mouth and stretches. “I’m going to interrogate some innocent bystanders. Can’t have my seniors do all the heavy lifting on my first day.”
Val shrugs. “Don’t die.”
He grins. “No promises.”
Now, where to start?
Waitresses? Too easy.
Neighbors? Too typical.
Raving lunatics on the street? Now that’s thinking outside the box.
Felix leaves the diner, scanning the streets for a prime candidate. It doesn’t take long.
A man stands on the corner, wild-eyed and shouting at nothing in particur. “The end is near!”
Jackpot.
Felix approaches casually. “The shadow government is behind everything!” the man rants.
Felix nods. “Which shadow government? The lizard one? Illuminati? Or the weirdly chrome one?”
“The shadow government that controls the government!”
“Yes, but like—what type?”
“They talk to the moon!”
Felix tilts his head. “But the moon can just control people.”
The man freezes. “The moon can what?!”
“Oh yeah, full override. Or just influence your thoughts, depending on your protection level.”
The man’s hand flies to his tinfoil hat. “Yes! The tinfoil hat!”
Felix shakes his head. “That isn’t gonna be enough.” He leans in, lowering his voice. “Take out a pen and paper. I’ll tell you how to really protect yourself.”
The man frantically pats his pockets. “Yes! I knew this day would come.”
Felix nods, raising five fingers. “You need five things: a full roll of aluminum foil, lemon juice, a teddy bear, dirty socks, and lipstick.”
The man listens, enraptured, as Felix spins the lipstick around the tinfoil, squeezing lemon juice onto it like some sacred ritual.
“So,” Felix continues, “every morning, you sp yourself in the face with this.” He demonstrates, smacking his own cheek lightly. “Then—important step—you hit your crotch three times to break any emotional influence.”
The man gasps. “Of course.”
“And if that still doesn’t work,” Felix lowers his voice dramatically, “that means you have to put your dirty sock on your head, hug your teddy bear, and jump on one foot. That’s the final failsafe.”
The man stares, wide-eyed. “No way.”
Felix nods. “You have to do this every day to ward off their influence. If I were you, I’d go straight for the dirty sock.”
“Thank you, master!” The man bows.
Felix strokes his nonexistent beard. “Then do not forget my teachings, my student.” He pauses. “Wait. I got sidetracked.”
“Master?”
Felix leans in, lowering his voice. “Do you know anything about a house? The one on Peach Street? The creepy, haunted one.” He whispers, “I have this top-secret, cssified mission, and I’m trying to find clues.”
The man’s eyes light up. “Yes! I know something about that. Anything you need to know, master!”
“Yup! So, what’s the history?”
The man scratches his head. “Last I heard, master, a family lived there, but their little girl disappeared. After that, the hauntings started. No one knows why, but some rumors say her parents had her killed.”
“Do you know where they are?”
“They left after the rumors started.”
“Okay.” Felix pats the man’s shoulder. “Thanks! Make sure to win the war against the moon!”
The man clenches his fist, determination burning in his eyes. “I will never forget this favor.”
Felix grins. “Don’t mention it.”
Val stares as Felix slides back into the booth.
“What did you do?”
Felix gestures casually. “Got us some info, that’s what I did.”
“No, that! You guys were jumping around, bowing—what was that?”
Felix waves a hand dismissively. “Oh, nothing much. Just gave him a proper way to shield himself against the moon.”
Val squints. “The moon?”
“The moon, yes. The race of entities living on it, controlling people’s minds. I just taught him how to protect himself.”
Val stares at him, then at her coffee, then back at him. Finally, she sighs. “Did you tell him about the lemon juice and lipstick?”
Felix nods. “Yup! I think he’s gonna do good.”
Val chews her food, swallows, and nods thoughtfully. “That’s good. We lost a city in the war with ours.”
Felix throws up his hands. “Right?! Those guys are a pain in the ass. And don’t even get me started on the brain juice. You step on one, and suddenly you reek of psychic mucus for weeks.”
Val holds up a hand. “Eating.” She takes a bite of her meal. “Never mind that. What did you learn about our mission?”
“Oh yeah, about that. Apparently, a little girl disappeared, her parents were suspects, and the hauntings started after she vanished.” Felix nods to himself.
“Cssic demon shit.”
“You think so? Feels more like a poltergeist.”
Felix taps his chin. “Poltergeist? Maybe it got ambitious! I don’t want to just be a wandering spirit watching teenagers jerk it. Maybe I want something more with my undead life—let’s suck some souls!”
Val gres.
“Okay, but you know how ridiculous that sounds, right?”
“You’re not wrong.”
“I’m feeling a but here.”
“But demons don’t invest souls into real estate—not like this.”
Felix narrows his eyes in thought. “Ohhh… unless it isn’t just a normal soul.”
Val stands. “Let’s talk to the parents, see what they know.”
“Aye, commander!”
She stares at him, unimpressed, then walks away.
The two of them now stands in front of a doorstep.
Felix hesitates. “Before I do this, what’s your name again?”
“Valentine Mendez.”
His brow raises. “Valentine?”
“What?”
“You don’t feel like a Valentine. More of a Valerie. Or a Valkyrie.”
Val crosses her arms. “Just open the door, Felix.”
He grins. “Knock, knock.” Felix knocks on the door.
It swings open almost immediately. A woman stands there, dark circles under her eyes, tear stains on her cheeks. “What!?”
Felix clears his throat. “Good morning, ma’am. My name is Felix Calloway, my friend here is Val Mendez, and we’re here to—” He turns to Val. “I can’t think of a lie.”
Val raises her hand, neuralyzer at the ready. “I thought so.”
A fsh of light.
Felix continues seamlessly. “You forget the st minute. We’re… what’s the FBI for this world?”
Val shakes her head and speaks up. “We’re the FBI, and we’re here to ask some questions regarding an old case. My partner, Felix, would like to walk around your house to search for clues.”
The woman’s eyes gze over. “Oh, uh… yes, of course.”
Felix struts in, immediately inspecting the pce as Val asks, “So, ma’am. Can you recount what happened leading up to your daughter’s… disappearance?”
She blinks, tears slowly forming at the edges of her eyes. “I can’t really say much. She just left one day and never came back.”
Felix wanders past the picture frames, running a finger over the gss, tracing the smiles frozen in time.
They look like a normal family, but the disappearance of their daughter has clearly taken its toll. It’s unfortunate… it always is.
Then his eyes snap to a particur photo—a small box, half-hidden inside the girl’s pocket. A strange feeling stirs in his chest.
A glint of recognition.
He grabs the picture and rushes to the mother’s side.
“Where is this? The box—the one in her hand?”
The woman recoils. “We probably left it. I don’t remember seeing it again.”
Felix stares at the image. “When did she get this?”
“I remember her buying it from some kind of garage sale.”
His stomach twists.
“Val!” Felix shouts. “We’re leaving.”
“What happened?” She runs to him.
“I know what happened. We were both wrong.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s a vessel box. Someone is using that girl’s body to stay here.”
Val’s eyes sharpen. “That means…”
“Whoever’s in there is the one gathering souls.”
No more hesitation.
Felix grabs Val by the waist, takes off running, and leaps—the air beneath him solidifies into a rushing cloud. They soar over the streets, hurtling back toward the haunted house.
