Back inside Hajime's room.
Hajime squints at the Melissa-san figurine.
“You know, Asura-kun… it’s kinda weird we have something this lewd. Are we sure we bought this one?”
Asura-kun thinks for a moment. “Maybe it's a representation of our repressed desires? We did like demongirl themed H-series back in the day…”
Hajime nods slowly. “That’s… true.” He shrugs and sets Melissa down gently.
“Now—where’s Mary-san?”
A new Mary-san figurine materializes on the ground. Hajime beams.
“There you are! It’s such a shame you rolled off the shelf when I wasn’t looking, you little troublemaker!”
A heartbeat is heard.
“…Why the hell is it getting hotter in here?”
He claps his hands, and a freezing wind blasts through the room, creating miniature tornados on the floor.
Melissa-san’s POV
"Don't move, Melissa. Don’t you dare move."
Her face is stuck in the iconic duck-kissing pose she practiced for hours in front of the mirror. She's sweating, trembling microscopically every time Hajime looks her way.
"You're way over your depth Melissa. What are you even doing here!?"
Then she hears it:
“We always did like demon girls… something… something.”
Her brain blocks out the rest. Her thoughts explode into mush.
"AWAWWAWA AWAWWWWAAAAA!"
She heats up like a tomato.
“It’s fate! Hero × Demon! The forbidden romance—it’s finally happening… and it’s in my hands!!!”
Her delusions skyrocket but haven’t yet reached their final form, a ravenous predatory thirst? that all office ladies have deeply locked in their hearts.
Hajime-kun’s POV
“Now that we’ve reviewed our past… how about we take a look at our present?”
Asura-kun sighs. “Finally getting some clarity and purpose after all the BS we’ve choked down?”
Hajime shrugs. “Dunno about that, but it’s a start.”
An old film projector whirs to life, starting a retrospective review of everyone who is remotely involved with Hajime.
[Princess Merryads Review Tape]
Asura: “We’re starting with her?”
Hajime (shivering): “Yeah… let’s start with Princess Merryad.”
The footage plays—heavily censored, naturally.
After it ends:
Asura: “Thoughts?”
Hajime (thinking):
“There’s something intrinsic in me that rejects her. She’s objectively perfect by this world’s standards—S-tier, Mary Sue, pay-to-win—but something feels off. Why does she need me to premium her constantly? When I ‘won’ her in that raffle, it felt extremely rigged.
Honestly… if I ever premium her, I think I’ll never be able to escape this hell.”
Asura: “So… do you dislike her?”
Hajime: “If this world were different—normal—I think she could’ve have been my main heroine. Maybe even best wife...”
Asura: “So you do like her?”
Hajime: “It’s complicated. Lets not push our luck with this one.”
[Whalescalibur Review Tape]
Footage plays: lots of cringe and aggressive whining.
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Hajime pauses it a few times to clear his ears.
Asura: “She’s kind of a burden, huh?”
Hajime: “Agreed. But she’s got her uses.”
Asura: “Aww, are you warming up to her?”
Hajime: “Nah. Our compatibility is the worst. Honestly, if she were paired with any other hero, she’d be way happier.”
Asura: “We could treat her better?”
Hajime: “That would involve watching polishing ads for five hours straight.”
Asura (nodding solemnly): “Forget I said anything.”
[Caladblock Review Tape]
A romantic epic begins.
Asura: “Our best acquisition since entering this cursed world.”
Hajime: “Indeed. Our one true holy sword. I… I love her.”
Asura: “Love can be dangerous. She’s a bit… controlling.”
Hajime (defensive): “Heresy! She has my best interests at heart!”
Asura: “Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
[Saintess Elnora Review Tape]
Black and white footage rolls: the elf doing her antics and dragging Hajime into endless streams.
Asura: “She’s our most dangerous companion. We really should’ve left her with the cultists.”
Hajime: “Agreed… but she would’ve escaped anyway.”
Asura: “Why’s she still tagging along after all these years? She’s probably max level, cosplaying as a noob for clicks.”
Hajime: “Her thirst is unnatural. No way no one’s hit that baba before at least once?.”
Asura: “Maybe she’s just an idiot who self-sabotages.”
Hajime (staring blankly): “That can’t be the reason… right?”
[Lucile (Scam Game Lady) Review Tape]
A scene of Lucile selling a cursed game and Hajime getting trapped.
Asura: “Ah, the moment of my birth. Shitty times.”
Hajime: “Why do we have a section for her?”
Asura: “No clue. Oh, look—it says she’s getting a sequel soon.”
Hajime: “Ominous.”
[Feet & Suffering Tape]
A film of feet.
Asura rips it out and burns it.
Hajime: “You okay? Who was that?”
Asura: “No one important.”
The ashes fall silently… landing near Melissa-san.
Melissa-san is still swooning in her delusions. She forgot to take notes on the most important memories of Hajime-kun.
Oops.
[Snot Bubble Sword Review Tape]
Asura: “What do you think of her?”
Hajime: “Perfect roommate. Not annoying. Good with directions.”
Asura: “Only downside—she’s not cheap.”
Hajime: “Never say that to a lady bro.”
[Valiant Review Trailer]
Nothing plays.
Asura: “What do we think of her?”
Hajime: “Too early to tell. Seems level-headed.”
Asura: “She’s probably lonely.”
Hajime: “Same vibe as Caladblock, honestly.”
[Melissa-san Review Tape]
It plays like Titanic—dramatic poses, emotional hugs, and soft lighting.
Hajime: “Ahh… Melissa-san. Our first kindred spirit in this world.”
Melissa snaps out of her stupor, notebook flying open in panic.
Asura: “So what do you think?”
Hajime: “I feel pure empathy. I’ve lived that soul-draining office life… Her hollow eyes tell that story better than I ever could.”
Asura: “That all?”
Hajime: “She’s… cute, too.”
Asura: CLAPS “There it is! We’re done!”
Melissa (internally): "CUUUU-TE CU CU CUTE!!"
Her tail glows pink.
"Noooo! Control yourself! It’s still too early!"
Then she sees the burned film of Nocture-san on the ground.
Something snaps.
“This… this confirms it, NO NEED TO HESITATE!!!”
She has all the evidence she needs to pursue Hajime in earnest—completely forgetting the mission Walletbreaker gave her.
