The resurrected automaton is dancing along, perfectly synced to the intro sequence...
The decor? Sublime — reminiscent of episode 20’s iconic theme: Escape from the Dark Hole of Demonick Bra-san’s Dungeon.
Was this thing a divine existence cast down for reasons unknown?
Our hero is enthralled by the beautiful sight.
Then Valiant screams:
“Hero! Snap out of the mental corruption! It's attacking!!”
Suddenly, a subscription button with a glowing ad pops up in front of Hajime. It reads:
"Interdimensional Streaming Guaranteed?!
Tired of the stale entertainment in this backwards world?
Sub to Chutubits and ascend to godhood via premium content!"
A tentacle heart and corrupting slime border the button.
Hajime's finger twitches… It's too tempting.
But then he does the unexpected —
He starts reading the Terms of Service.
Caladblock (nervously):
“Honey??? What are you doing???”
She’s never seen Hajime this weak.
What’s going on?
Valiant (panicking):
“He’s been bewitched!!! Let me try something—”
Adblock power surrounds Hajime, putting the ad into a loop and blocking interaction with the subscription button.
The ToS page freezes.
Hajime tries refreshing, but it just makes those old-school AOL dial-up noises...
What has happened to our hero?!
Narrator-kun (coughs):
“Hajime-san is an ad-hater. We all know that. But… above all… he’s an anime addict from our world.
How can you drop the hope of quality entertainment into a guy’s lap and expect him to just abstain?!
Hypocritical?
Anti-ethical?
Absolutely.
But a true man of culture swallows his pride and gets his fix.
You can bitch about it later — at least you had the option!
Those are the tenets of the real faithful!!!”**
Regardless, Hajime is now furiously tapping the Subscribe button, completely tunnel-visioned — not hearing the cries of his most trusted companions.
Outside, at the base of the tower:
The Maligned Catch? Ad finally finishes buffering.
Its ominous jingle plays as magical tentacles surge toward the ocean, raising the sunken part of the city.
A corrupted parody of normalcy rises from the deeps—
Fish-people in Chutubits merch rush the streets, rampaging with promo codes and flyers.
The weak-willed are coaxed to their side, forever tainted by fish sticks and bargain-bin tea.
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
They’re pleasant if you talk to them, but don’t be fooled — their conquest is real.
Some even hold effigies of a Demonic Overlord wielding a Snotbubble Sword.
Cute… but deeply concerning.
The Saintess' entourage springs into action.
The Merch Wars have begun suddenly, like the first breath of an infant.
The citizens? Helpless, caught between a battle of good vs. evil.
Ohhhh, the Admanity!!
Merryad finishes her recharge cycle.
Meanwhile, the cultist continues his monologue:
“You’re too late heretics!
Our campaign is in full swing!
We shall ascend this abandoned cesspool of ads and dreams to become the new capital of the world!!
A kingdom of chaos and marketing — eternal and undivided!!”
He begins coughing up fish sticks from the sheer excitement.
“Never again shall we be abandoned by hypocrites like you!”
Merry unequips Whalescalibur and begins chanting the holy ad sacraments of a Princess Knight:
“By the holy Ad in the sky,
We sponsor the divine will of our Creator.
May he be washed by the beauty of lotion,
May I be protected by the Premium Wall of our Vows,
May the predictive algorithm grant salvation to the wicked!”
Holy power starts accumulating in her palm.
“May we be shoutouted by the Corposaint Arbiters,
May the Likes flow like the bosom tea of our Lord!"
In the background, the Saintess shouts out Merryad’s stream:
“Now be sanctified by Holy Premium Service!!!”
A beam of monetization crashes onto the cult leader,
knocking him out with a divine premium he never had the budget to afford.
They rush inside the tower, desperately trying to save the Hero.
Back to the Hero:
The theme song is still playing.
He’s given up on subscribing and is now chatting casually with the entity.
A thick miasma wall blocks him from approaching —
and an angry necklace growls:
“What the hell are you doing?! I’m too weak to keep this going forever!”
The entity, ever-patient:
“I can wait a few more minutes. It's been so long since my last subscription.”
Caladblock:
“Luv! Snap out of it! I'm overexerting myself to hold off what is essentially a god dear!”
Hajime (nonchalantly):
“Sorry about our awkward first impression.
Let me reintroduce myself. I’m Hajime-san.
Currently unemployed, kidnapped ‘Hero’ from another world.”
The entity speaks:
“Good day to you, sir.
My name is $$@%@^@%^^@.
I was dispatched as a promoter for our services in Dimension 2334321.”
It sighs:
“Honestly, it’s been rough. Most people like our products…
But they keep freaking out and screaming about ‘fish sticks’ or something.”
It mumbles this with sorrow, then perks up:
“But YOU… you’re different!
You can see the product as intended!
Would you be interested in the Full Package Service??”
“It only costs a soul! Practically free!!”
Hajime:
“…You know people in this dimension only have one soul, right?”
The tentacle wiggles nervously:
“They only have ONE?! That explains why the conversion rate is so low!”
The tentacle makes a tentacle-phone gesture and speaks into the void:
“Yes, it’s me.
We’re finally through… but we’ve got a problem.
They only have one soul per person.
Current service plan is not usable.”
Suddenly, monstrous roars echo through the room.
“Okay, okay — we’ll use the Alternative Plan.?
Great. Let’s promote that instead.”
A splash is heard as the call ends.
Then the entity announces:
“THE TERMS OF SERVICE HAVE BEEN CHANGED.
LET THE PROMOTION BEGIN!!!”
Outside, the battle continues.
But now…
an unexpected boost will help the fishmen press their advantage.