Lucile-chan spun and giggled victoriously.
“I’ve trapped the hero! I’ll be the first to turn him into a faithful paypig!!!”
She was laughing like she’d won the jackpot.
But 10 seconds in... things started to change.
The Hero-san began foaming at the mouth, struggling violently in his chair.
At 15 seconds, a wave of collective screaming echoed from the other server participants.
Some began convulsing and entering status epileptics.
At 30 seconds, everyone was sobbing—their resistance crumbling.
As the full minute passed, only the snarling of the hero and the wails of despair (not caused by microtransactions) remained.
Lucile panicked at this abnormal change.
She screamed into the mic for an immediate patch, the Microslop Division Wage Slaves go to work.
The worst part of this ordeal is that they only had five minutes to save everything before Hajime-san leaves a 0/5 review.
The race against time had begun. The company's reputation was on the line of these unsung heroes.
Back In-Game: Goldyad Town – Level 10
Hajime-san had arrived at the first human settlement. It looked... extremely crappy.
Same three houses.
Same stale layout.
Oddly full of—yep—you guesd it, village girls...
He punched indiscriminately to the town.
Houses shattered with a single swing of his fists.
He swatted a male NPC—but something was off. The NPC didn’t pixelate like the others.
Instead, he collapsed in a dramatic pose—like a martial artist from an anime about monkey aliens.
Hajime stared at it for a few seconds, he shrug's. Now he raise's his torch to conquer another house.
DING!
Stage 1 Complete: “The GOLDEN Experience has been completed.”
XP gained: 100
"Cheap reward," he muttered, then walked off to his next destination.
Paul – 18 Years Old
“Sure, I’m a failure with subpar awakening stats, but my childhood friend always believed in me.
And after browsing hundreds of wedding ring ads… I was finally ready to propose.”
10 Minutes Before the Tragedy
Childhood Friend, Village Girl #1: “Paul-kun! Wake up!”
She bashed open the door and sprinkled ad-water in his face. Refreshing and really thoughtful of her.
Village Girl A: “We have to water the turnips using the Fertilizer Ad Booster Pack before winter!”
Paul smiled, “Of course, lets go.”
Then they saw it—something massive on the horizon.
Desolation.
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Burnination.
Nothing was left.
The monster killed the only woman Paul loved.
Her innocent turnips burned—never to be advertised again to him.
Paul collapsed, scratching the dirt.
He swore vengeance.
The wedding ring glowed ominously in the ad filled skies.
“We should’ve run,” he whispered.
“She died protecting me… and the infomercials didn’t even phase that monster.”
The once-hopeful frontier town had turned to ash.
Paul now bore melancholic eyes and the dark eye bags of a certified edgelord.
He clutched the wedding ring, remembering the tragedy.
Saintess Lisa placed a hand on his shoulder.
“We’ve all lost people to him. This is our last bastion.”
Her once-lustrous hair was matted with blood and dirty ads.
Thief Luna snarled, “If we don’t beat him, all the ad points I’ve grinded will be worthless!”
The Hero smiled:
“Let the final battle begin.”
A gigantic ad blocked the sun.
Hajime-san had taken a wrong turn and was now wandering east.
The dungeons were changing.
There were village boys now...?
Hard to tell. The androgyny was getting weird in this game.
Still, shop points were accumulating.
The sword? Still asleep.
She is a perfect traveling companion.
Six months passed.
He cursed a few times.
Backtracked to the same fork in the road.
One year passed.
Two years and six months.
Hajime-san had been stuck in this world.
Finally, he reached the next main zone:
The Holy City of Adlanta.
Naked Asura Berserker Demonlord EX – Lv. 400
Vitality: 1.5M / 1.5M
STR: 999
DEX: 666
Mana: 0
Luck: ?
Resistance: 99% (Error)
Titles:
Feet Fanatic
Slave to One’s Whims
Aggro Maker
Hoarder
Psychological Rabies
Terrifying Aura
Contractor of Walletbreaker
Despoiler of the Demonkingdom
Guild’s Bane
Village Girl Slayer (MAX)
Bathwater Snuggler
Prolific Raider
Aimless Wanderer
Dungeon Conqueror
Macro-Aggressor
Vermin Slayer
Spoon Bender
Rageaholic
Murderhobbolord
Tragedy Seed
Harbinger of the END
Narrator-kun:
“Yes, Hajime-san is absurdly broken. That’s the power of a soulless free-to-play grinder.”
Lucile sprinted into the emergency patch chamber.
She screamed into her orb-phone:
“PATCH IN THE NEW CONTENT! SAVE THE WHALES!!!”
The Microslop Subsidiary replied with a dry chuckle.
“We got this.”
A poor soul strapped to a chair, tubes in his mouth and... other places.
He once answered an ad promising fame, luxury, and influence if he joined the company.
He was scammed, obviously.
He received a mission:
“Make it gud again. Bazonka Conquest Server 3. Beta Protocol One.”
Ad-magic coffee was injected.
Time slowed to a crawl.
1 second in reality = 4 years of ad-crunch.
He typed like a possessed monkey.
Spaghetti code, more beautiful spaghetti code.
It was all nonsense.
But somehow—miraculously—it worked.
In one minute, a patch was ready.
He trembled at his desk, knowing more unreasonable demands were coming, they never do end...
The patch went live!
New Feature:
Demonic Guild Emergency DLC – 500 Ad Power Unlock!
Includes: One Horse (with Horse Armor?)
Slightly faster travel!
The guilds cheered in unison.
They forked over the MOOOOLAAAAA.
Hajime-san:
“Nah. I’m good.”
And with that, he stepped into Adlanta.