My soul wants to grab a milk carton and never look back...
But my cursed body is moving leftward—toward the damned flower shop.
I see a bucket of roses, tulips, dandelions, and one that is obviously the right choice...
It looks like an array of flower heads, but the stalks are ads—a godforsaken mess of horticultural techniques and fertilizer products promotions.
I grab it with a scowl on my face and walk to the shopkeeper.
She smiles and says:
“If you watch the store commercial, your first purchase is free!”
I cringe hard at this and say:
“…Fine.”
An ad pops open:
“Adrift at sea? Missing the land you landlubber? Worry not! At Seaplants Flower Shop we’ve got a special promotion for YOU!”
It continues spamming about different plant subscriptions and the fucking environment.
I’ll be long dead before the world ends so keep it moderate, please.... for all our sakes.
Anyway, I get the flowers and head to the princess’s cabin.
Hajime-san knocks a few times, hears the frantic tap-tap-tap of footsteps, and then— the door opens.
There she is...
Like a fairytale princess.
Beautiful, all dolled up and glowing without a reason why.
...Except the blocky censored face completely ruining the WOW moment.
I force a smile, kneel to the ground, and present the “flowers.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and squeals happily.
“It’s soooo touching! How did you know these were my favorites?!”
Hajime-san replies with abnormally fast lightning speed:
“I didn’t... just saw them and thought you’d love them.”
Side-eyes the ad stems.
She rushes to put them in a vase next to a very suspicious screenshot of me sleeping.
I’m… really not surprised anymore.
If I fight this, it’ll just get more annoying later.
I give her my arm, and we walk side by side across the ship’s deck.
We pass the pool section on our way.
The Saintess is still sound asleep?
How long can she sleep???
I glance at her stream. Yup.
Sleeping stream.
She does absolutely nothing and still gets views and simps.
Why do I even bother to care?
We reach the lunch area and sit down.
…How many dinner dates have I done in a succession by this point?
Anyway, I order the Adlobster again.
I lean over and say:
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“Are you enjoying the free premium experience?”
She beams.
“It’s everything I wanted it to be!!”
Then she fidgets and murmurs,
“...If only it were permanent.”
CRASH.
Someone dropped something nearby. Coffee and biscuits scatter all over the ground.
I glance around and see a suspicious heart-shaped pink tail poking out from under a nearby table.
It smells like misunderstanding?.
I turn to look at the princess, now glowing with pink blocky textures.
Then the Adlobster arrives.
I cut off a piece and feed it to the pink block.
She squirms a little and quietly munches.
Then she offers me a bite of the salad.
I eat it like it’s my only duty at the moment.
Thump.
I hear faint bumps in the background each time this happens...
After lunch, we stroll around the ship again.
Adphins are breaching the water.
A whale launches out of the ocean with a massive ad-banner for cruises wrapped around its blubbery mass.
The princess is taking pictures with blocky delight.
Then—creak.
Something is bending in the background.
There’s that tail again and... is that bent metal?
Da fuck???
We reach the prowl of the ship.
She spreads her arms, doing the classic Titanic pose.
What is it with girls and that scene?
I hear someone run off to the distance just behind of us.
Yep, its a full dramatic sprint.
We’re almost done with the date when I inevitably see it.
A trail of rose petals... leading to a deluxe room.
NOPE. I’M SOO OUT.
I turn to the princess and blurt out:
“Free trial is over! Please rate and peace out!”
I bolt away from certain doom.
Behind me, she yells:
“Pleaaase tell me your link and premium ratesssss!!!”
Yesterday was a good day.
Hajime-san is so nice... so cool...
It’s the first time someone—who isn’t my parents—actually cared about me.
A hooded figure with moderate bust, big glasses, and a curled ahoge stands in front of a mirror.
She awkwardly models.
No charm.
A shy idol kiss pose.
Kind of cute... to a certain niche audience of beauty-starved men.
“Maybe we’ll see each other again…”
She returns to her orb-keyboard, working for that evil DomBoss.
It’s already half a day, and she’s has a mad craving for her nutritional crackers.
But—taking Hajime’s health advice to heart—she grabs extra coffee for energy.
Then she sees it...
Hajime-san, dining with a woman of extremely divine stature.
That Blocky Majesty.
The elegance of the dress.
Ads blooming around her like royal aura.
She understandably panics and hides under the table.
“Wait!! Why did I hide?! This is awkward... and my tail’s showing...!”
Then Hajime and the divine being are sharing some food romantically.
THUD.
She smacks her forehead on the table.
“Is that his girlfriend?! But he was...”
Something dark bubbles inside her.
She doesn’t like this feeling that is blossoming.
Hajime and that... tramp... No Melissa... don't be jealous of
their moment that totally doesn't looks like a fairytale dream come true.
Wildlife is harmonizing around them!!!
She snaps!!!!
Her dream. is being stolen by a hussy!!!
Oops. She bends the metal.
“Sorryyyyy,” she squeaks, hiding again. Tail still sticking out to all to see.
She follows them to the prowl.
The hussy does her dream pose in front of Hajime.
This is too much.
Tears fog her lenses.
She runs back to her room crying up a storm.
In her room, she broods:
“I’m useless... My love died before it grew wings…”
She takes off her glasses and stares into the mirror.
Memories of him... listening and nodding attentively at her.
“No. He’s too good of a man to lose to a sudden homewrecker!”
Not realizing the irony of the situation, she clenches her fists.
“I’m not giving up…”
Just as she levels up emotionally—
RING.
[INCOMING CALL: Bitch of a DomBoss]
She answers:
“Squawk. Rawr. Blah blah blah.”
“…Yes. Sorry. Won’t happen again. Overtime? …Yes. Okay. Bye.”
She hangs up with her hands on her face.
Puts the orb down.
Slumps in front of the monitor, crying uglily.
Her feminine power level drops to zero once again.
But tomorrow… is a new day for this sad girl.