This blonde elf baba is wearing a suspiciously slim swimsuit, beckoning me to apply sunscreen.
My hands are trembling and its not from excitement...
Then she says, “You owe me a lot hero-san, pay up.”
Goddamn it.
I squirt the sunscreen onto my hands and she with an amused smile, plops down in a prone position. Time to brainwash myself:
“You’re putting oatmeal cream on a hag. You’re doing community service, you're a good person with normal tastes.”
With that mantra looping in my mind, I swiftly ignore the sus whispers she lets out with every pass of sunscreen. I sigh in relief once I'm done.
Then I notice something interesting—
The old woman falls asleep from the “massage.”
Time to bolt out of here.
I sprint the hell out of this nightmare, with all my might I cross a door and suddenly—BAM—slam into someone.
“Kyaaaaa! I’m so sooooorrrryyyyy!”
“I’m sorry!” I echo back with a bow. I think: "Strange that she didn't budge..."
We look up at each other.
“Oh… Good day, Melissa-san.”
She fidgets. “Good day, Hajime-kun.”
…Silence.
“I’ve gotta get going, ill be seeing you around.”
She then grabs my arm.
“Can you accompany me for a bit? I’ll buy you dinner later… as a honest reward.”
Who can say no to free dinner?
“Sure,” I accept this boon.
As we walk to the dining room, she asks in a slightly gloomy tone, “Was that your girlfriend over there,Hajime-san?”
“Nope. She’s an elf baba who needs help from the comunity.”
She brightens at my response. “I see!”
Not questioning it further, she adds, “Let’s get the table near the sea view.”
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
We sit down, facing each other. Why do I feel like a scumbag quadruple-dating heroines for the legendary harem ending…?
I hear a distant voice yell:
“It’s because you are!!!”
Must be my imagination.
She slides a business card across the table.
D. Melissa
Marketing, H.K of the P.Ad.K
Orb #: XXX-XX-XXXX
I take the card silently.
She extends her hand with a quiet “………”
Ah, I get what she wants...
“Sorry, I’m currently unemployed. No active orb number at the moment.”
She flinches, retreating her hand, trembling in disappointment.
Silence again permeates the table lush atmosphere.
She peeks through the menu several times, glancing at me with interest. I’m too busy trying to decipher which adseafood item won’t kill me...
Finally, she stammers, “A-Are there any ads that you like…?”
My ears twitch in annoyance.
But… right, who can blame her. Its this kind of world...
I cough. “I like targeted ads that give me the things I need—not ones that interrupt important moments.”
She nods enthusiastically. Her job aligns with my preferences. Shell surely be happy with this response.
“Then… are there any ads you hate?”
“Ohhh yes, but my list is a little bit too long. Top three would suffice, right?
Generalized pop-ups
Bathroom stream ads
And… feet ads.”
She starts breathing extremely heavy.
She blurts out, “Have you ever heard of NoctureBathroomParty Lobby?”
“…Uhhh. No. But it sounds like something I’d hate.”
She clutches her heart. “I see…”
...Is she okay, is she dying?
My food arrives: Adlobster. Both pincers are plastered with ads about lobster preservation and lionfish invasion awareness in the Caradbbean Sea.
I slice off the ads and dig in to the juicy body.
Melissa’s got the Mixed Adfood Plate. She seems genuinely happy munching on ad-partitioned sea creatures.
Once we’re done, she smiles at me. “Thanks Hajime-kun, it was nice having someone accompany in such a short time.”
She gives off serious overworked office lady releasing stress vibes.
“Thank you for the meal. Please, take care,” I reply.
As I walk away, she makes a "wait" gesture behind me.
...The only problem is—
A certain silent knight never left her post.
She saw everything I did.
Her blocky eyes, now red with feelings long suppressed.
Hajime wakes up to an unexpected figure looming over him.
It’s Merryad—the blocky princess knight—tapping her foot, arms crossed at his direction.
“You gave premium service to a stranger before me!” she shouts jealously. “Honor the agreement!”
In my best corporate tone:
“The agreement says the date is at a time of my choosing.”
She glares harder at me.
“You agreed to it. Honor the agreement!!!”
She stomps the floor and storms off, red pixels fuming from her body.
Phewwww. Safe.
Then Whalescalibur chimes in:
“You know... she can legally harass you until you honor the agreement. There’s no clause forbidding that.”
SHIT.
This compass is secretly law savvy?!
I leave my cabin with dread.
And guess who’s waiting outside?
Princess Knight Merryad.
With the expression of a pissed-off brick.
She’s standing to my right—radiating an aura of "approach and die."
This is going to be very annoying and fast...
So I do what any sane married man with a "Happy Wife, Happy Life" mindset would do.
“Fine,” I tell her. “Let’s start the date in one hour. Dress pretty and stop with the pissed-off aura, you're scaring the children!”
She jumps into a victory pose and skips off to her room humming a happy tune.
Why the hell do I have to manage so many people on this goddamn boat?!
I now debate if I should go to the store to get some milk… nah, ill get some flowers...