Without peace within oneself, how can one tolerate the presence of others?
Hajime is now in the dream world, staring out across a serene meadow leading to a beautiful sea. He dares not to look in any other direction—his dreams are no longer the bastion of solitude he once believed they were.
Suddenly, a whining voice pierces the silence:
"HEYYYYY HEROOOO!!! We’ve done some remodeling while you were out—come take a tour!"
I sigh and turn to the left.
There at the corner, floating in a giant luxurious fishbowl is Whalescalibur beckoning me. Cash signs swirl in the water as confetti, a small castle sits proudly in the middle, and a majestic whale does somersaults exuding nonexistent grandeur.
I hate it so very much.
Then her sister chimes in from the right:
"Ara ara, my sister is still too young to appreciate refined aesthetics."
I glance her way and see a dark gothic pirate ship. A pirate girl is building a wall—brick by brick—facing Whalescalibur’s domain. Her nature hasn’t changed one bit. That’s probably why I like her so much.
Then both of them suddenly freeze and look to the far left.
"Ara ara... this is new?"
A nonchalant figure looms with a hint of murderous intent. Whalescalibur trembles in fear in her cute whaleform.
"WHAT THE HECK IS SHE DOING IN HERE!?"
She’s foaming at the mouth, eyes white as if she’s glimpsing death itself.
I follow their gaze and see:
A fiery hellscape. Volcanoes, cracked earth, and twisters fill the horizon. The AdDead and Fishpeople worship a giant whale-shaped pedestal, upon which a sleeping dragon girl rests, wrapped in a futon like a cloak. A big orange snot bubble pops over her head.
"AHHHH, this is new... OH HEYYYYY, IT’S YOU!"
She exclaims with lazy joy.
That laziness... that casual energy...
Its Walletbreaker, my better compass.
"Aren’t you supposed to be in the game?"
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"Nahhh, it was a multiplayer game. Thanks for carrying me!"
...I realize that I've gotten scammed into a contract again. The item purchase didn’t even include a warning label about her.
Still...
"It’s good to see my compass is doing well."
"I AM NOT A COMPASS!"
She gets fuzzy for a second, then glares at Caladblock.
"It’s YOU! Kill stealer! Curse you a thousand times, you big party pooper!"
Caladblock snaps back, jealously:
"Hussy trying to steal my hero! You have no shame! Go back to the fiery pit that spawned your lazy ass!"
Whalescalibur hides like a mosquito in her castle, avoiding the drama.
I spawn a TV, a sofa, and a DVD player.
Magical Nexus Girl Episode 2: "Magical Friends in the Right Places."
A few minutes later...
"Only the power of friendship can beat this thing!"
"When our feelings combine, anything is possible!"
"MAGICAL DREAM SPLASHHHH COMBO!"
Eventually, the fighting dies down as the final section of the episode plays, they all gather like an awkward family. Caladblock scribbles cryptic notes with miasma. Whalescalibur watches the show in disbelief, not understanding how powers can possibly exist without ads. Walletbreaker lounges on the sofa, cheering for the monster to crush the heroines.
When the villain is finally defeated, Walletbreaker cries an orange tear and boos the magical girl's righteous victory.
The episode ends with a satisfactory song with the credits.
I rise and confront my equipment.
"Now everyone… do you understand?"
Cryptic words spill from my mouth. They make no sense to normies, but to a true fan?
It’s a message of loyalty!
All three swords stare at me, confused.
Tsk.
"Too early for you. Someday…"
My subtle brainwashing to make them magical girl fans is making extremely slow progress...
"I don’t really get it," Whalescalibur mutters, black lines over her head.
Caladblock huffs, "He likes friendly women, that’s a plus for me."
Walletbreaker yells, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT TRAGEDY!? DO OVER FOR GOLIATH MAMMOTH PANTY-SAN!!!"
With a snap of my fingers, the world begins to dematerialize once again.
Walletbreaker panics:
"NOOOOO! WAITTTT!!! THE DEMONLORD WANTS—"
...And the dream ends on a stupid bit of foreshadowing about a certain someone gaining the wrong kind of attention.
The Cleanup and Paul-san's Redemption:
While our hero lies unconscious, Saintess Elnora-san is busy cleaning up the mess. Thanks to the condemnation campaign and Hajime’s glorious crashout, she infiltrated Electromagic Incorporated’s stock's and secures a majority position.
Lucile-chan is promptly fired.
A new CEO is named—someone who once loved Paul-san story. His tragedy was just too much to bear for her.
A remake is promptly approved.
Daemon Bazonka Conquest → Human Bazonka Harem
In this new feel-good dating sim game, our hero finally marries:
-
Childhood Friend Village Girl A (now renamed Tina, name of the CEO... wink,wink)
-
Luna
-
Lisa
A happy end, with ads galore and turnips.
A beautiful end.
Lucile-chan, now in prison:
Void-eyed, staring at the ceiling...
"How could the hero..."
A guard walks by and drops something into her cell.
"Message for you."
It’s an AdMail. She opens it—after watching a 30-second "Prison Escape Movie Ad"—and sees:
A well-proportioned feet pic, staring back at her.
Lucile-chan chuckles softly… then for several minutes she becomes more maniacal.
She looks up at the moon through the barred window with a smile that would make crazies blush.