“And that’s it! No more of that…”

  See what I said? The one that said this at the end was the supposed snake lady, the doctor of course rejected her and after that, well, nothing happened… He told the lizard woman what she shouldn’t do as apparently, taking a shower with hot water can and will affect her skin in a negative way while also asking her not rub her skin while she’s shedding as it might prematurely remove the skin that will come out, preventing the skin underneath it to be fully grown and therefore, making her body ache and of course, have that red colour to it. Although, what if I was the one getting checked? And the doctor was the Hero instead… How would I react? I wouldn’t do such a thing like the lizard lady did but… If he touched me in the same way, what would happen? I doubt he would do… In normal cases but on this one, why wouldn’t he? The doctor had no second intentions behind what he did, so what tells me the Hero wouldn’t do it to me exactly in the same way? He seems to be that type of person, a little clumsily but always with good intentions behind what he does. Maybe, I would… N-No! Stop it there! I came here to not think about him, why am I now imagining such scenarios instead!? Actually, wait a second, while I think I can understand the appeal of this to some, the novel, not what the Hero might do to me, I still think it’s a little too “erotic” for me, however…

  “Don’t tell me that, my Empress likes this type of stuff?”

  Impossible!

  I refuse to believe it!

  Ye-yeah, she happens to stumble upon it and her curiosity got the best of her.

  She can’t secretly be a degene-

  “Let’s just move on!”

  There still is one more novel that I haven’t skimmed through… Ye-Yeah, let’s just move on to the last one as otherwise… I don’t think I can stop my body from feeling this hot. Argh, my cheeks are burning but, a little bit below my belly I’m also feeling a little weird. This only happened when I started to think about what the Hero would do to me in that scenario and what would be my reaction. I-I don’t understand and I don’t like it either way. Right? I think? Hmm, what do we have here… This one also seems to be new and from what I understood, this one is also in the same state as the slime novel meaning that, volume one is not here but instead, volume fourteen and fifteen. The one that I have in hand is the fourteen volume and from what I’m understanding, it seems to be about a high schooler and his time in high school. Uhm, he seems to be a loner of some sorts, or at least that’s what he’s portraying as from what I quickly read, he’s not alone at all in fact, I think he’s about to do something to someone…

  “Where are we going?

  You will see soon enough.

  It’s a simple question that should’ve gotten an answer as simple as it and yet, she left me in the darkness of my ignorance. That was a little too deep but, it’s exactly what I felt. I don’t understand why she likes to do this however; something is different this time around. Normally she would look at me with a smug look on her face, one that pisses me off quite a bit but also a look that makes me forgive her for brief moments as she looks extremely cute. Only for brief moments, don’t forget that! Not only that, her tone of voice is always one that has a rather annoying condescending tone to it, yet again one that pisses me off and if she wasn’t this cute, I would’ve hit her in the face already. Several times at that. Damn pretty woman privileges as if it was I, a man mind you, I would get punched in the middle of my beautiful face in an instant if I sounded in that manner. Instead, this time around not only she never looked back at me, her tone of voice was rather for the quiet side and also it sounded a little bit serious, or was it cold?

  It’s currently 18:07 pm. We have left school a few minutes ago meaning that, we have been walking for seven whole minutes. While this is not much as I’m definitely used to this, I’m not currently going home meaning that, I’m getting further from it. Yep, the moment whatever she wants to take me is over I will have to go back home and because of what she forced me to do, yes, I was forced to come with the tyrant to where she wants to go as otherwise I would’ve had my freedom stripped away. I will now take much longer to get home because of it. Ah, my poor legs that are definitely used to walking for long periods of time. What a damn joke, the vast majority of the days I ride a bicycle to school as otherwise it would take me half an hour to get there but since she asked-I mean, forced me to go with her I wasn’t able to ride the bicycle to school because of it. Though, I do have to admit, she did warn me yesterday so, that’s good, I guess. She cares a tiny bit about me it seems.

  Five minutes have gone by and, still walking, I’m mindlessly walking behind her just like a good sheep would do when following the herd. Though it seems we are entering some sort of park-wait a second, I know this place! Why did we circle around only to end up here? Right now, we are much closer to her home than to mine so, that’s a plus. For her that is! It’s going to take me 45 minutes to get home now! That’s far too much for my definitely trained legs! And feet! Don’t forget about them! Seriously, what is she doing? Does she want me to walk her home? I doubt that is the case but, if all the stars, not the planets, are all aligned and she in fact does want me to walk her home, why the hell didn’t she say so? I know I complain a lot but I still do everything she asks. Kind of. Not only that, I could easily impress her with my bicycle skills. Yeah, you think I would walk there? Never! Jamais! Nunca!

  We are still not there yet?

  We are getting close. Don’t worry, you won’t have to walk for much longer.

  I didn’t say anything special and she made this remark out of nowhere… Could it be that, she knows that I’m far too lazy to walk? Nah, I definitely never complained about it so, I’m imagining it. But yet again, her voice is different from normal. Something really isn’t ok but, what can it be? I know she has problems with her older sister but, nothing too drastic, I think. Yeah, back in school she also has a few problems here and there, all thanks to her perfect personality of course, but yet again, nothing drastic. I don’t think she had any drama with her BF, so I really don’t have a clue what it could be… Sigh, her tone of voice is quite mellow and the remark she made at the end, she would’ve stopped mid track, turned backwards towards me and then with yet another condescending look on her devil but pretty face, she would then make that remark. Yet in this case, nothing of that sort happened. She said all of this while facing forward and mind you, without stopping walking. I’m not liking this at all, I’m actually starting to get worried. I have to say something… But, should I?

  She’s probably having problems and just wants to cool off her mind and a good way to do so is to simply have a walk around in complete silence. If that was the case, then why am I here? Am I this invisible to her? No-I mean yes, to a certain degree but she asked me to go with her yesterday, this easily means that she has planned this before. I have to speak up, in the worst-case scenario she will simply say that I’m stupid to think of such. She will say it with a smile on her face of course but, I really won’t complain much as she does have a beautiful smile. Actually, I should complain as I’m not some sort of masochist. Quite the opposite in fact, I’m a beautiful flower that should be handled with the most care. Yep.

  Oie, is something wrong?

  No.

  Yep, something is definitely wrong. Now I just need to know what it is. Well, nothing mora than a simple questionnaire towards her from yours truly that won’t get this solved. I mean, I doubt she will say much but hey, a guy gotta try his best, no? I will act like an inspector that is carefully inspecting the culprit in front of him, bombarding him with question after question. Some make perfect sense, others are extremely random, all in hopes to get the culprit to admit what he did, all of his crimes he committed. I doubt she did something of that sort, so I’m exaggerating. Maybe. I hope so.

  Can you at least look at me when you are speaking to me? Haven’t we got a little closer to each other? I think I at least deserve that-

  Have we?

  Alright, now that actually hurts... Really? After all of this time, we still haven’t gotten close to each other, even if by a little bit? A whole year and what? We still are strangers that happen to know each other’s names? Then explain it to me, why do I know what your favourite colour is then? It’s blue in the case you are reading my mind. Why do I know that you hate being in crowded places but love being alone with the people you care about? Yes, otherwise you wouldn’t have invited us to your birthday, mind you that you had quite the party, I for once actually had fun being in such an event. The cops even knocked at the door from how loud we were being. And yes, you were the loudest one, not me, or her either... Explain to me why I know that you slightly frown your browns and look towards the ground for brief moments each time someone asks you something that either you don’t know or you are not sure about? Huh? Please explain why each time you seem a little embarrassed not only do you avoid eye contact with the person in front of you, you also cross your arms together while at the same time play around with the tips of your hair? Seriously, why do I know what type of shampoo you use-actually, I have no clue in this regard. I know it smells really nice, a coconut smell to be more precise but, that’s all I know. I know much about you and I want to believe you do the same about me as otherwise, why did you give me this on my birthday? It’s nothing special but at that time, the one that I had was broken and you took notice of that. A simple wrist watch but do you even understand what that meant to me? You showed you cared about me, even if it’s by a little bit.

  Stolen story; please report.

  No…

  I refuse this…

  Whatever she’s doing…

  I can’t nor won’t accept it!

  For crying out loud! Just look at me when you are-

  Gasp!

  I acted without thinking too much but… Why is she crying? Don’t tell me that I hurt with what I did!? Ah crap man! What about everything that I just went through? Come on, that wasn’t my intention! I just wanted you to look at me when you are speaking to me. Is that too much to ask? I know that I wasn’t gentle when I grabbed your arm but, I doubt that I was that violent too. It’s something else, right? I did notice that you would bring your hands towards your face a few to many times but, I didn’t think of much after all, you had your back towards me the entire time.

  Wh-Why are you crying?

  I’m not, I just have something on my eyes…

  You might say that, but they are not stopping at all. What happened? Why are you crying? I’m not at fault, right? I shouldn’t be as I literally didn’t do anything to her… At least that I can remember, maybe I did something unconsciously that somehow hurt her? No, that doesn’t sound right either as we don’t have that type of relationship. It’s as I said, we are not close but we aren’t strangers either. We know a little bit about each other, enough that we know of a few quirks that we both have but, I really can’t say that we are that close. Though… I won’t deny that I wouldn’t want to change that. She’s a little devil sometimes, that’s something that I can’t nor won’t deny as she does get on my nerves from time to time. Yes, sometimes she makes a few remarks that piss me off. Yes, sometimes I think she’s a little unfair to me but… How about myself? I’m nowhere near perfect in fact, I’m quite flawed if I say so myself. Of course, each time she’s acting like a little devil, I instantly pick up my sword and shield to defend myself. Each time she makes those remarks, I throw back at her the same ball she tried to hit me with. I also get on her nerves much less times than she does to me but, one time is still well, one time.

  What’s wrong?

  It’s nothing…

  You can’t make that face and then tell me that, nothing is wrong.

  She’s hesitant to speak… Her voice is extremely weak, the complete and utterly opposite of what normally is. Sometimes her voice is so cold that it can freeze the air from how cold she sounds. She’s also avoiding direct eye contact with me, something that she never does. In this case, she has the tendency to stare directly at your soul as she tears your body apart with how viciously she is with her words. Her body language, she’s currently standing still, looking up at me with her eyes wide open, her mouth slightly the same way. She has both of her hands touching her chest while embracing each other. She’s never like this… She always has a confident pose, still feminine of course but you can literally see the sheer arrogance of her normal poses alone. Man, what happened to her? What is making her this sad to the point that she’s crying her eyes out? I don’t know if this makes it worse but, she’s not making a single sound at all.

  We-We have to stop...

  Eh?

  What the hell does she mean by this? We have to stop what? Doing this? Wait, am I hurting her? I still haven’t let go of her arm but… Maybe I should? Though, why do I feel like that, if I do so, she will disappear? Why do I feel that, if I let her go then, it’s all over for us? Why am I having these feelings? It’s not based in logic at all after all, why would she do something like this? Wait… is there any reason for her to not do something like that? What is stopping her from just leaving and never coming back? Exactly, there is nothing stopping her from this but, I’m going to be honest, I don’t want to. I don’t want her to leave but… Can I say that?

  W-What do you mean by that? You have to be more specific.

  You know what I mean… You’re smart, more than what you think, I know you will understand it.

  The shock is so drastic that I unconsciously let go of her arm. A mistake on my part but, I was too shocked to see that, to understand what I indirectly told her. Of course, the moment I let go of her arm was also the moment she turned around however… She did so very slowly. Is she making fun of me-no, of course not. Time has slowed down drastically or it’s more correct to say that, my brain is thinking several times faster than normal. I can’t move at all or it’s more correct to say that, I’m moving as slow as her and the reason for this is because of how fast my brain is currently working. This is it then? A whole year down the drain because of what? Just because we both are tremendously awkward to each other, to the world? Really? I think this is what is angering me the most as I really have no clue why she’s doing this. I didn’t do anything to her to deserve this. Argh! Whatever! If she wants it, so be it! I’m not going to try to understand her if she doesn’t even bother to form a coherent answer for my simple questions. I don’t care, I’ve been alone all my life so, I’m used to it. While I won’t deny it hurts but, I’m used to rejection, I’ve gone through many in my entire life.

  …

  ……

  ………

  Why am I doing this? Didn’t I reach the conclusion that I didn’t care? Why am I so desperately trying to stop her from disappearing from my life? Why do I have such a panicked look on my face? My dead eyes are wide open, my mouth is the same way as I struggle to even say her name. Even after all of what I said, all the “fights” we had, those disagreements but also those good moments, after all of it, I simply don’t want her to go away… Ah, I understand it now, I probably always knew but deep down, I rejected the idea because of past trauma. How can someone like me be with someone like her? It’s impossible and I still think like that. Maybe that’s exactly why I never did anything, why I never tried to take a step further. I was afraid to blow unto small pieces the simple relationship we have. I was-am afraid that I might say something that will push you away, make you look at me just like everyone does. Of course… You were the only one that could and can look at my eyes directly, stare at my soul and who I truly am. You’re the only one that is by my side, even when the situation seemed dire, you still stood there by my side, helping me go through it. You actually accepted who I am.

  I don’t want you to go… But, can I stop you?

  I don’t know but at least… Let me tell you how I feel.

  Then, you can go…

  Don’t just say that crap and leave like you didn’t do anything this drastic!

  Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting to be this fast but, I did grab her and forced her to turn around towards me. I was a little too aggressive but, I don’t think I hurt her… I hope so. Right now, I’m currently grabbing both of her arms, creating basically the same scene as before. She’s looking up at me, still with her eyes wet and with them wide open. Her mouth is roughly the same but this time around both of her hands are down, relaxed is the better way to describe. She can’t use them that much, especially with them with me grabbing both of her arms at around the middle of the upper arm to be more precise. But, now what? I can see that she’s anxiously waiting for what I’m about to do but, I-I don’t think I have the courage… Why-Why!? Just tell her for crying out loud! Either way she will leave you all alone, at the very least let her know of your feelings! You’re going to suffer either way, what are you going to lose if you just say it?

  I don’t want to stop…

  That’s not for you to decide…

  Argh man! You really aren’t making this easy, you know that, right? Just keep going, ignore whatever comes out of her mouth. Just keep moving. For once, do something meaningful for you in your goddamn life. Don’t stop!

  I know that but… I still want to be with you.

  The girl’s eyes sparkle with the unexpected turn of events. She wanted to end their relationship at a mere moment’s notice. To her, she doesn’t deserve him. Indeed, her friend is the one that should be with him, that’s how she thinks. This is exactly why yesterday, she made plans with him, but also why she went around in circles trying to gather courage to end such a simple but meaningful relationship she has with him. However, she didn’t expect him to be this averse to such a finale.

  A desire that she never expected to come true.

  Eh… Wa-Wait-

  Indeed, the words on her mind are unable to be expressed to the world. Her mind is racing as it tries to form a coherent sentence that could stop him from going any further but the shock is preventing it from doing so. Her heart, one that was weeping uncontrollably as deep down inside of it, she despises what she’s doing or was about to do, but at this moment, it’s racing against the mind, beating faster and faster by the passage of time. The temperature of her whole body shoots upwards as the hope starts to regain its power.

  I-I don’t want you to leave me…

  But, wh-what about her? I can’t…

  About her? Who is she talking about? Am I missing something? Am I close to someone else and somehow; I have no clue about it? Wait, is she talking about her BF? I’m sorry but, that’s impossible, I can’t be that popular. Can I? From having nothing all of these years to suddenly having two girls liking me at once? Yeah sure, I might as well play the lottery as my luck is definitely that high. But, who else can she be talking about if not her BF? If... if that is true it still won’t change how I feel. I’m extremely grateful for her, she has been with us the whole year and that includes putting up with my crap however in this sense, I was the one that put up the most with her shenanigans.

  She… she’s just a friend. A good one of course but that’s it.

  I can’t believe I actually said this, that I actually was the one rejecting someone. She didn’t say a single word but I could see her whole body relax the moment that I affirmed this. Hell, even her face seemed to relax a little bit after hearing what I said. She wanted to hear this… Is that right? Am I even allowed to think this is correct? Am I allowed to be this wistful about it? Does she actually… Oh god, please don’t give me this hope only to then destroy it in an instant.

  I want you to be mine but… I also want to be yours.

  I-I love you.”

  ……..

  ……

  …