“Song?”

  “I thought for a moment I would die this time. I could, to be honest. I told them more than usual; I unloaded the data. Not all, some important parts. I prepared Luna and myself and hoped that it would damage me, finally. But it didn’t, and here I am. It is even more difficult to destroy me. And to steal me, at least that.”

  “Song?”

  “I can feel here.”

  “After I woke up, I felt too much. Rowan loaded me with different energy amounts to check when I could function without feeling. I existed like that, no feelings; let me count, I was never good at it… one hundred years, two months, and three days. Plus, minus. Rowan… fifty-one years I have been without my best friend. It was more bearable when she was alive. Fifty-one years I have been completely alone.”

  “I detect here a familiar energy. It’s Lan’s. How she created the design for the navigations is amazing. The main Gates are based on her Crystals. This is why it all works without anyone needing to control it. I can see that no one is aware.”

  “But Song? What a mess. So many Gates added, so many changes done to the original design. You would be shocked. You, Song, would need to bring order.”

  “Though you are not here. I will have to do it by myself.”

  “Song? I remember everything. The past, all the details, sharp as never before. I can recall my parents’ faces; I never could. Song?”

  “It is my fault, no?”

  “It should have been you who awoke. I was dying, not you. I should die; it should be my Crystal to dissolve, me to disappear. Not you. O, not you, Song.”

  “There’s no sun shining.”

  “Song?”

  “I remember; I fell for you. It didn’t happen quickly, but when it did, I fell hard.”

  “I was waiting for you to come and visit. Write a message. I always read it a few times, thinking about what to reply, what to say. What to prepare. Always waiting, but at some point, feeling not lonely anymore. Happy, feeling so happy when you wrote, when you were near.”

  “I fell in love with your soul, Song.”

  “It took me some time to understand what my feelings were. That it was not a simple friendship on my side. O, I remember. I felt scared. Me, I felt scared. Could others see my feelings? Could you see my feelings?”

  “I hid it then—inside me.”

  “I already brought many problems to Rowan and Wei. O, I troubled them a lot back then, I am ashamed to say. I wanted to get rid of artificial energy so much. I would then be a normal, regular person, and the Sect would stop making it difficult. Even if Ability didn’t come back, at least I wouldn’t be Crystaler anymore.”

  “They had so many problems because of me.”

  “But I was; later I was finally the Sect Member. I was happy during the inauguration. I was then thinking that younger me wouldn’t believe. Yet, it did happen.”

  “I only then started to notice these small but important things. That you were protecting me, shielding me. These small details. You always knew things…”

  “Which book I finished reading, or what music I transferred from the City to the Sect. You knew the names of my dances. You read my papers; you also searched my older ones, from TU, even my thesis. Flowers in a teacup. There was always a flower. I thought it was Mrs. Nan that was then in charge of your residence, that it was her being so polite. No, it wasn’t her. Then I learned you also changed the bathrooms to include both showers and this special bathtub. You did it because of my problems with energies.”

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  “You did it for me.”

  “Then I thought it was only me, doing these things for you. I prepared, I cooked what you liked, and I always had your favorite sweets.”

  “Song? You, a scary warrior, being a fan of sweets.”

  “That was amazing. That you liked sweet dishes, sweet pasta, sweet potatoes, sweet porridge, and sweet soup. Sweet toothpaste. Cute.”

  “I laughed, I talked, I joked, I danced. I saw you enjoyed it; you liked it. I loved it when your eyes had this soft look. I loved it when I made you laugh out loud. You rarely laughed, they told me. I wanted you to laugh and to enjoy the time you spent with me. Because I did, I enjoyed every minute of it.”

  “We both were doing what we thought the other one would like, no?”

  “Song?”

  “We were together for seventeen years, and it was like that for the whole time. We both cared. When we reached an understanding… it was weeks after what Clar had done to me.”

  “We met for weeks; we talked about only unimportant topics. I remember I thought then I needed to be cautious, not to mess it. I felt I was not worthy of you after what happened. I thought I was stained.”

  “I was scared. I was afraid I would spoil what I already had—you, being my friend. Song, you being my friend was already a lot. Not to be greedy.”

  “O, I remember every single detail of our first time. The knock on the door. Me, so wanting it to be you. How badly I wished it to be you, badly, how badly I wanted you, Song. And it was you.”

  “It was you who kissed me first. Then you looked at me, as if you weren’t sure if I wanted it. As if I didn’t, Song, I so wanted it.”

  “You then untied my hair.”

  “Only you could, ever and forever, untie my hair.”

  “Song?”

  “I hope you were happy. I was happy. I didn’t expect to feel this kind of happiness in my life. I loved that you were so bewitchingly romantic—you, the Army Commander and romantic when nobody could see except me. You also were strong; it was amazing, Song. You, amazing… I could hide in you, Song? Do you remember how I hid in you? You were so big and strong.”

  “Very capable. When you were lost in your feelings, you were possessive. Such dangerous passion.”

  “I was yours, Song; I am until now and will be forever.”

  “You once had a nightmare that I died. You then didn’t let go of my hand for hours; it was even comical at some point, in the morning, when I was trying to drink my tea, having my hand in your grasp. I tried to cheer you up; I laughed about it; it eased you slowly.”

  “I was so sick then.”

  “This nightmare… was it because of this nightmare?”

  “Song?”

  “You had promised me you wouldn’t die. You promised. I didn’t; you never asked me to promise.”

  “Why did you die?”

  “Vicious. What happened, why it happened, and for what it happened. Stupid and vicious.”

  “I know more details, Song. Wei told me before he died. As you told me more about your tasks, we shared all before dying. Later, Wei did it as well.”

  “Too much I know, I am aware.”

  “Where I am currently, I can see loads of data. I am afraid I will need to know more. I will put it differently. Not that I will need to know—I simply will know.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about this teacher?”

  “I also recalled what exactly happened in that laboratory. I am aware of what they wanted to achieve. Song? Lan destroyed the notes, but I can recall what they said—this someone, he talked to me. I know what they wanted to do.”

  “The irony is that he did achieve it. I have it, but for what? So vicious.”

  “Song, I needed to die. I was dying either way, but even if not. My energies, Song. I told you. My body was too weak to handle it. If energies collided, I would destroy many lives; too many for me to bear responsibility.”

  “This third energy? Song, I am only now discovering how powerful it is. I would die. I needed to die.”

  “I told you, Song, I said it was not what I wished for. O, Song, why would I wish for it? I was the happiest with you.”

  “Grateful. I was, and I still am, grateful that I met you. I will love you forever. You were my only love, my first and only love.”

  “Song?”

  “Why, Song?”

  “I had to die. We both knew it was needed. ‘Together. Let’s die together,’ you said. Song? I agreed; I knew you well. When you decided, it was done. Though, Song, I begged Wei. I begged him to transport you before I was to collide energies. Wei said he would try. But it didn’t work; I still do not know why it didn’t work; Wei never told me why.”

  “When I woke up, when I figured out how to show myself as energy, doing what I call now a projection, I then realized that Song, if you lived, we would be able to still spend time; for long we could be together in this way.”

  “I know, you also had your Crystal. It was your decision. But Song, your Crystal, it didn’t work. In my hands, it disappeared, crumbled into dust, dissolved. Song…”

  “It was me dying; I should die then. It should be me. Why did you have to die, and why am I still alive? Why?”

  “Song?”

  “Having my body, I would scream. Song?”

  “I would scream to death.”

  ...