A month later, there was another test at school. I got a seven, and I was so happy because it was the same subject, yet a higher difficulty level. I was thrilled to see how I was improving little by little. I couldn't wait to tell my mom back home.

  Arriving home, I immediately showed my mom my test score with a big smile on my face.

  "Wipe that grin off your face! Yuki got another 9 on her tests! You shouldn't be satisfied with such a score! Study more and less playing games!"

  What my mom said struck me so deeply that it felt like the core of my very being was stabbed with a very long and sharp knife. I did play video games from time to time during my break time, but I spent my time studying rather than playing games. I feel like I wasn't appreciated. All of my hard work felt like it was for nothing. All of my motivation went down the drain. All of my spirit was suddenly stomped and crushed down.

  I went back to my room with a sour face. I threw away my test sheet in the corner of the room. Instead of studying like I always did, I just lay down in bed for hours, doing nothing to improve myself. I have no more intention of doing that.

  But then, my sister entered my room. She took my test sheet and gave it to me.

  "Onee-chan! I know Mom isn't being fair, but I am always so proud seeing how hard you work. It is what keeps me motivated in my studies as well."

  "Yuki. . ."

  I slowly approached Yuki and hugged her.

  "Thank you, my dear little sister!"

  I cried on her shoulders. I let out all of my frustrations towards her. Yuki said I can always rest on her shoulder whenever I need a place to cry. She is younger than me, yet she seems to be more capable and mature than me. I feel ashamed as her older sister, but at the same time, I feel loved. She is the one who never condemned me. I love my little sister.

  When she left my room, I was motivated to keep studying. I picked up my test sheet and studied what I got wrong. I got back on my routine of studying like before. I am determined to prove myself to my mother.

  And then for the entirety of my middle school year. I kept studying and studying all by myself. I was sometimes invited to a study session with my classmate, but I always rejected the offer, saying this is something I have to do on my own. I tirelessly tried to improve my scores. I pulled off a lot of all-nighters during weekends, so it doesn't interfere with my health and school schedules.

  My test scores during my middle school years varied a lot. I mostly got a 7 or 6, sometimes I even still get 5 or even a 4. And during those low-score moments, I was scolded by my mom a lot. I tried not to be let down even during those times because Yuki still cheers me up every time. She became the only light in my life.

  And then the final exam day in my third year in middle school came. I studied for that day for almost half a year. I relearn everything I was taught at school multiple times to make sure I can give it my best for the final exam. After weeks and weeks, months and months, I was nervous, but I felt capable. This time for sure, I will make my mom happy.

  And then it happened, my final result was an 8. Right on the dot. I was jumping with excitement. I finally did it. I got a score higher than ever. I never got an 8 in middle school. I was running back home with enthusiasm and a giant smile on my face.

  When I arrived home, I shouted.

  "MOM! I GOT MY FINAL EXAM SCORE!"

  And then I showed it to my mom.

  "LOOK! LOOK! IT'S AN 8!! I NEVER GOT AN 8 BEFORE! I AM SO HAPPY, MOM! ALL THOSE HOURS I SPENT STUDYING PAYS OFF!"

  And then. . .

  "Good job, Yuna!"

  And then my mom walked away, continuing her routine of prepping food for dinner later.

  . . . .

  That is it. That is all I got. A simple, good job. I don't know why I expected more. I. . .I am disappointed. I went back to my room with a big sigh. I lie down on my bed.

  I feel like I lost my motivation. All those all-nighters I pulled off. All those times I spent on school books. All that stuff I memorized. I did everything in my power. . .and I realized, those efforts can only give me an eight score at max. What about Yuki, who always gets a 9 or even perfect scores occasionally?

  As I drifted in my thoughts, I fell asleep for a few hours, and night time came.

  I was asleep for 4 hours. And then I walk downstairs to find out my dad has come home. I quickly went back to my room. I grabbed my final exam sheet and brought it down with me. I showed it to my dad.

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  "Dad, look at my final exam score!"

  "Only 8? You should definitely study more! Don't be lazy, alright?! Yuki got a perfect score on her final term's exam!"

  . . . .

  . . . .

  Without realizing it, I shed tears.

  Yet my own dad never even noticed because as soon as he saw my score, he just immediately went back to reading a newspaper. He scolded me without ever looking at my eyes. I am crying right now, and he didn't even notice it. I wiped my tears quickly and went back upstairs.

  I went to my room and lay down on my bed.

  . . . I felt hurt. . .

  I cried again in my room. I feel so betrayed. I feel so alone. I feel so worthless. I feel so useless. I feel so loveless. . .

  Yuki. . .

  I am always being compared to her. She's my little sister, and yet she's better than me. She's younger than me, and yet she excels in everything I did. Everything I did is meaningless. It's only Yuki this, Yuki that. I was never in the conversation. My parents only ever cared about Yuki.

  I'm tired.

  And then I reached high school.

  I no longer study for tests. I failed every exam. I failed every test. I was scoring between 3-4 and then 5 at max. Obviously, my parents were very angry about this. They began to scold me by shouting and slapping me. Calling me names and cursing me.

  But at this point, I no longer care what they did to me. They already killed my motivation to ever study again. No matter how good I did, I was never appreciated. So I thought to myself, "Why does this even matter anymore?". All of my grades are red and falling steeply compared to my middle school grades.

  Yet I didn't care. I no longer care where I am going. I don't care which direction my life is taking me. I don't care what I will become in the future. My parents already killed me. There's no point in doing anything ever anymore.

  When I was facing my final term exams for class advancements, I was already giving up before I even thought of studying. But then my sister came to my room. She sat down and talked to me, heart to heart.

  "Dad and Mom aren't being fair to you, nee-chan! They always compare you to me. They always hurt you that way. They never appreciated you ever. Nee-chan! What I wanted to say was, maybe you are just not academically gifted. Maybe your talents are elsewhere, nee-chan! There are tons of people similar to you in this world, onee-chan!"

  ". . ."

  "Nee-chan! I have a plan! Trust me, Nee-chan! I will never abandon you!"

  Yuki hugs me as she utters those words to me. Her hug felt so warm. It softens me. It touches my heart. I shed tears of relief and gratefulness. I cried on her shoulders.

  "It's okay, Nee-chan! You can let out all your emotions to me right here, right now! Mom's out, and Dad's at work. There are only 2 of us here."

  *sniff sniff*

  "I. . ."

  *sniff sniff*

  I struggled to utter things that I really wish from the bottom of my heart.

  "I. . .I. . ."

  *sniff sniff*

  I had snot on my nose from crying, and I struggled to talk about things I wanted to say.

  . . . . . .

  And then, it all came out. I let out my most genuine cry yet.

  "I wanna be loved by mom and dad again like when I was little!"

  *sniff sniff*

  Hearing that sentence, Yuki started crying. She felt the hurt that I've always had, bundling up all these years.

  "I wanna be told I'm smart! *sobs* I wanna be told I'm a good kid! *sobs* I want to eat mom's chocolate cake! *sobs* I love Mom's chocolate cake the most! *sobs* I haven't eaten that in years! *sobs* Mom no longer made that for me!"

  I was sobbing between each sentence. I cried my heart out.

  "I want gifts from Dad! *sobs* I want Dad to buy me things! *sobs* Dad hasn't bought me anything in years! *sobs* Not even on my birthdays! *sobs* I want to go to the sea with Dad again! *sobs* I haven't been to sea with him in ages! *sobs* I want to be on the banana boat again with Dad! *sobs* I love being so close to my dad! *sobs*"

  Yuki started bawling as I kept uttering my most personal and honest thoughts.

  "Nee-chan. . .*sobs*"

  "I wanna go on a trip again with mom and dad and you! *sobs* I want to be part of the family again! *sobs* I wanna be treated like I am their daughter again! *sobs* I wanna be appreciated again! *sobs* I. . .*sobs* I wanna be loved by my parents again! *sobs*"

  I let out a long groan of sorrow. Yuki also cried harder hearing my groans. I hugged her harder in reflex, and Yuki hugged me tighter as well in response. We both cried our hearts out for a long time. I didn't remember how long, but Yuki told me it was around 20 minutes long.

  "Nee-chan! What if we just run away from our family?"

  *!*

  "Yuki?"

  "I am so sick of them always treating you unfairly like this! They never accepted you for who you are! They need to see results from you before they see you as their daughter! THAT IS NOT HOW PARENTS TREAT THEIR CHILD!"

  "Yuki. . ."

  "I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! THEIR ACTIONS TO YOU HAVE BEEN REALLY DISGUSTING AND REPULSIVE!!"

  I hugged Yuki to calm her down.

  "Yuki, don't be consumed by your anger!"

  *!!*

  "Nee-chan. . ."

  Yuki takes a deep breath and calms down.

  "I'm sorry, Nee-chan."

  . . .

  "Oh, Nee-chan! Let's change topics for a bit to cheer you up!"

  "What topic. . .?"

  "Boys!"

  Yuki grinned and smiled widely while her eyes looked at me, showing signs of curiosity.

  "Huh?"

  "Nee-chan, you're in high school! There has to be one guy that you're interested in!"

  "I. . .I don't. . ."

  I was embarrassed, and my face turned red. I couldn't hide my emotions. I was so bashful. Add to the fact that my own sister is in front of me, discovering one of my deepest secrets that I never tell anyone, EVER.

  "N-Naaah, I don't really like anyone in particular!"

  "Nee-chan! You're not fooling anyone. . ."

  "I-I don't really. . ."

  "Oh, drop it! So who is it? Who is it?"

  "Huh?"

  "What year is he? Is he an upperclassman? Or an underclassman? Or is he in the same year as you? If so, is it a classmate, or is he in a different class? Is he tall? Or is he short? Is he cool? Or is he funny? What is his hobby? Is he a sports guy? Or an academic one? Or maybe the music type? Which one? Which One?! WHICH ONE?!"

  Yuki bombarded me with lightning-quick, consecutive questions that I had trouble swallowing, and grasped each of those questions.

  "I-I. . .i don't hve. . . anyone i likeee. . ."

  I was fidgeting and tapping my index fingers against each other's as I'm also puckering my mouth.

  "Nee-chan. . . How long have you liked this person?"

  ". . .H-Half a year. . ."

  "WHAT? HALF A YEAR?"

  ". . ."

  "Have you confessed yet?"

  *!!!*

  I was so shocked by Yuki's question that my face turned to maximum red as my hair strings curled up and raised as if I was electrocuted.