The server room was cold, and the coral tank glowed in the semi-dark space. Jolts of electricity ran through the electrostatic fluid like miniature lightning bolts. The fluid bubbled, and Tangent could see her frosty breath condense in the freezing atmosphere.

  She looked over the ship’s computer on the server as an alarm sounded. There was an increase in radon gas in the thorium fusion reactor. She checked on the AI Akmal before assigning him the task.

  She called Akmal, and a holographic projection of his avatar appeared. He shook like a tree in the wind and bit his nails compulsively. “What’s wrong, Akmal? " Tangent asked, stepping into the light.

  He had a tremor in his right hand and fidgeted with his uniform pants. “I need a cigarette.”

  Tangent rolled her eyes and snorted while scrunching her face in disgust. “You can get one when you're offline in two hours.”

  “I NEED ONE NOW!” yelled Akmal, stomping his foot and then vomiting holographic vomit.

  Tangent slammed her paws onto the hologram projector and growled with narrowed eyes and her ears down by her head. “What is it about Tarken Tea that makes people so insufferable?! Fine! I will get you a goddamned nicotine patch!”

  She flicked her wrist at one of the scientists who left the server room to retrieve one.

  Akmal smiled with relief. “Thank you so much. Do you want me to deal with the radon leak now?”

  Tangent waved her hand dismissively as if to say shoo, rolling her eyes. “Whatever! Just go anywhere!”

  Akmal disappeared into the void.

  The computer tech returned with a box of patches. “I got the meds.”

  “Put it on his physical avatar’s neck for fast absorption. I am going to talk to the admiral about this. This is simply wrong.”

  Tangent dialed Admiral Nelson on her TriQuarter.

  His image appeared on the device; he sorted through datapads in his file cabinet, so it took him a moment to address Tangent. “Do you have the report, Tangent? I have been waiting for two days,” he finally said after shutting the drawer.

  She leaned forward on her desk and crossed her arms. “I want to take Akmal off of Tarken Tea.”

  “No.”

  Tangent scowled and crossed her legs while scrunching up her face and flicking her ears. “What? Why? He’s just an AI!”

  "You see the three stars on each of my shoulders? That means I don’t have to explain my decisions to you. Now, do you have any news about the AI project? I haven’t received your weekly updates yet. Did Lieutenant Helios compile his journal? I can't wait to read his observations!”

  “AIs shouldn’t use substances. What if he overlooks a critical subsystem because he’s in withdrawal or worse?”

  Admiral Nelson made a cat Howl and then stood, leaning over his desk with his ears down to his head. “There are lots of humans who oversee critical systems who smoke! Now quit wasting my fucking time and contact me when you have something meaningful to discuss!” He terminated the call abruptly.

  Twangent threw her TriQuarter against the grey metal wall, causing it to crack, and screamed a string of profanities.

  "I got the patch," said the scientist.

  Tangent left the tank room. Tangent walked down the hall to the snack machine and put in four one-credit chips. The chips dispensed, and she began eating them as she went into the breakroom.

  She sat by herself in the breakroom. Her people had a plant similar to Tarken Tea long ago on her planet, but for health reasons, they regulated it into obscurity. Therefore, by the time of the genocide, no one used it.

  Akmal still couldn’t focus while he dealt with the Radon leak. He decided to reroute the Radon gas through the secondary vent and lessen the pressure on the primary. He also sent an alarm to the engineering console.

  As Akmal flowed through the ship’s fiber optic cables and bio-gel bags, he couldn’t help but think he’d forgotten something important. A bio-gel bag was filled with an electrostatic fluid with billions of wet-ware protists, bacteria, and fungi.

  In engineering, the technicians and the chief petty officer on duty received a warning about a Radon gas leak.

  The chief petty officer came up to one of his techs. “It looks like it's the main pressure valve. Akmal rerouted it to the secondary vents. Get Lieutenant Helios.”

  “Yes, chief.”

  Brinus came into the reactor control room. “What’d we got, chief?”

  “Sir, Akmal detected a Radon leak in the reactor. He rerouted the gas through the secondary vent and sealed the primary valve, but the levels are still rising. What are your orders, sir?”

  Brinus snorted and rolled his eyes. “Obviously, protocol says to evacuate. I am going to deal with the leak. Activate radiation protocol theta. Everyone out!”

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Brinus pressed a button on the control panel. In the reactor room, a red siren sounded, and a computerized voice said, “Evacuation and lockdown order in effect. This is not a drill. Repeat, evacuation and lockdown order in effect; this is not a drill.”

  The comms in the control booth rang as Brinus ran a Geiger Counter App on his TriQuarter. “What’s going on, Brinus? An evacuation order was issued.” The voice was of the ship’s commander, not the captain.

  “Commander Norrington, sir. There is an unknown Radon gas leak. It looks like the reactor room is contaminated with 154 rems of radiation, and the control room has 112.”

  Commander Norrington sighed and snapped as he ran his fingers through his hair, “Right, I will send the reactor room crew to medical. I want you to follow the procedure. No magic. No funny business. You know what Captain Plato said last week about magic in the reactor room? No magic at all! Now, repeat after me… what did I say?”

  “I promise no equipment or chemicals will be damaged, sir.”

  “Woodstack, that isn’t what I said. Now, repeat after me! What the fuck did I say, boy?”

  Brinus chuckled as he walked into the tool shed for his kit, he quietly. “You said no magic resulting in damage to the ship or personnel, sir.”

  The commander stood and slammed his hands on his chair. “NO MAGIC AT ALL! PERIOD! THAT’S AN ORDER!”

  “Sir, there are some parts of my magic I just can’t control.”

  “Whatever, boy! You know what I am saying, so stop being obtuse! Over and out!”

  The comms went dead.

  Brinus went onto the reactor room floor and was bathed in red light. He could taste the chemicals of the Radon gas in the air. It had a metallic, almost burnt steak-like flavor and smelled like molten iron. Brinus knew Radon-22 was odorless and colorless, and the radiation was actually palpable.

  He walked into the reactor bubble and saw the problem. He could feel the radiation coming from a stuck gas valve on the secondary pipe. This was an often overlooked docket on maintenance. Since the secondary gas release valve needed less lubricant than the primary, it would cause a pressure build-up and likely trigger the alarm.

  Brinus unscrewed the pipe joint using a monkey wrench. He then used a magnetic screwdriver to remove the stripped screws. After removing the screws, he then removed the stuck valve and it blasted his face with superheated gas. He coughed a few times and then sneezed because it irritated his nose and throat. Brinus inspected the valve for a moment and saw the problem: the spring was worn out from heat. He grabbed a spare spring to put on the valve and spent another moment taking the valve apart, attaching the new spring, and putting it back together. He put the valve back in and then sprayed lubricant. He put the pipe joint back on, and then the reactor activated autonomously. He didn’t notice that Akmal automatically shut it off.

  Akmal then flooded the reactor bubble and room with anti-protons and anti-neutrinos, canceling out the radiation.

  Brinus went back into the control room and saw that radiation levels were normal. His fix was a success, and all without using his magic.

  Brinus came home after work to see Akmal’s physical avatar, who had a cigarette in his right hand and a beer in the other. Brinus removed his shirt, shoes, and socks and put them in the washing machine. He put on his gym shorts and sat down to watch the anime on the Holoprojector with Akmal. The show was an isekai about a starship engineer transported in time to a preindustrial planet into the body of a nobleman.

  He sat next to Akmal and put his bare feet on the coffee table. “Ya’ know the rule ‘bout smoking in the living room. Either you do it in the kitchen or your bedroom.”

  Akmal sighed and cussed, “I had a shitty day at work. Cut me some slack.”

  “The captain is gonna allow ya’ ten-minute smoke breaks every hour and a half from now on.”

  Akmal scoffed, tilting his head back and taking a drag from his cigarette, blowing smoke into the ceiling. “I should have spotted that error. It was so basic. I wish I never started smoking.”

  “I told you so.” Brinus flashed his screw you smile. “I said smokin’ was addictive, and you’d regret it.”

  Akmal popped another beer and crushed his fully smoked cigarette in the ashtray. “I don’t think I want to quit. That’s the worst part. I actually enjoy smoking.”

  “What you did today was a mistake anyone could make. Your job is to bring it to our attention so we can fix it.”

  Akmal hugged Brinus and nearly squeezed the air out of him. He was unnaturally strong because of his muscles and titanium skeleton.

  “I irradiated seven crew members,” cried Akmal, tears streaming down his face. "I could've killed someone."

  Brinus thought as he tried to push him off. Akmal was so strong he couldn’t move.

  Akmal yelled through the crying as he continued to hug Brinus, “What is this feeling?! I fucking hate it!”

  “It’s called guilt. Please get off of me.”

  Akmal let Brinus go and then wiped his eyes. “How do you deal with guilt?”

  Brinus shrugged, grabbing a beer from the fridge and popping it open with a bottle opener. “I have antisocial personality traits, so I don’t feel guilt like most people.”

  Akmal sniffed and cracked open another beer. “What do you mean, antisocial personality?”

  “Basically, I don’t follow the rules, have zero fucks syndrome, and don’t feel no remorse. I do have my marriage to Simmie and my friendship with Godfrick, Tangent, and you. But that’s about it. Most people are tools I use to get ahead in life.”

  Akmal took a swig of his beer and then looked at his hands. “Am I a tool? Is that what I am to you?”

  Brinus gave him an encouraging smile and then laughed, “No. You’re fun to party with and ain’t crazy like most people.”

  Akmal put another cigarette from his pack into his mouth, and Brinus snapped his fingers, igniting it. “Thanks, bro,” said Akmal, his eyes red and puffy with tears.

  Brinus slapped him on his bare shoulder.

  Tangent was in her light blue scrubs and white lab coat, complete with a badge, QR code, and any additional identification information necessary. This uniform was a standard issue for a civilian contractor in the military. It was required with her presence in the officer’s conference room with Commander Theodore, Captain Plato, and Admiral Nelson. She stood on a stool with a projection of slides about the effects of cigarettes on human bodies.

  Commander Theodore played the TriQuarter game “Raid of Shadows.” Admiral Nelson was working on budget reports for the fleet as Tangent droned on and on. Captain Plato slept and snored in his chair. It was the first opportunity in weeks he had to take a nap.

  After a moment of silence, Tangent shined her laser pointer into the face of Commander Theodore, who yelped and jumped under the table. Captain Plato jerked awake and fell out of his chair.

  Admiral Nelson stood after he cussed. “What the fuck is the point of this presentation! You have one minute to get the point, or you’re spending the night in the brig.”

  Tangent turned off the screen and yelled, “Having the ship’s AI addicted to any substance is a liability! We will continue to have accidents if Akmal is allowed to use substances! Can’t you see what you’re doing is wrong!?”

  Admiral Nelson dialed the number for the nonemergency line for the ship’s security. “I'm in the officer’s meeting room in the admiral’s quarters. I'm ordering officers to come in here and put Tangent in the brig for the night! Release her in the morning! Yes, book her for insubordination, but don’t file charges. I GAVE YOU A FUCKING ORDER! YOU WILL DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!”

  After Tangent was taken away, Commander Theodore looked at his two commanding officers. “What if she has a point, sir?”

  Admiral Nelson made a cat growl at Commander Theodore. “There is still the AI Bill of Rights. If he wants to smoke, I can’t make him quit even if I agree with her.”

  Plato and Nelson walked outside, and they both scratched the wall a few times. After a moment, Plato asked, “So you do agree with her?”

  “OF COURSE I DO! DO YOU THINK I AM A FUCKING IDIOT?!” After this outburst, nothing more was said about it.