Ren limped into town, slime goo crusting in his hair, his pride somewhere back on the road.

  The first thing he saw was a rickety wooden sign:

  “Welcome to Puddlewick – We Regret Nothing”

  “Okay,” Ren muttered. “That’s the vibe.”

  > [New Area Unlocked: Puddlewick]

  [System Note: You still have no pants. This offends the locals.]

  > [Beginner Kit Deployed]

  You received:

  – Basic Pants (modestly awful)

  – Rusty Iron Sword (will probably bend)

  – Bread (Dry Enough to Be a Weapon)

  The sword and pants dropped out of thin air and smacked him in the face.

  “Thanks for the aggressive generosity.”

  > [You’re welcome.]

  Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  He threw on the pants, held up the sword, and gave it a few test swings. It jingled like loose change in a vending machine.

  [Weapon: Rusty Iron Sword]

  ATK +3

  Condition: Sad

  Smells faintly of old pennies

  Still, it was an upgrade from “broken stick and rage.”

  ---

  Suddenly…

  A blur of feathers and fury rocketed out of the alley. Ren had barely blinked before—

  BAWK!!

  A chicken hit him in the chest like a guided missile. He stumbled back, sword flailing.

  “What the—?!”

  > [Side Quest: Defeat the Terror Chicken of Puddlewick]

  Reward: EXP, One (1) Soup Coupon, and possibly street cred.

  Warning: The chicken is feral. Good luck.

  “THIS IS A BOSS FIGHT?!”

  The chicken circled him like a trained fighter. Its eyes glowed with vengeance. Its claws sparkled with poultry violence.

  Ren gripped his sword. “I can’t believe my first real opponent is a chicken.”

  > [Believe it.]

  ---

  [Battle: Ren vs. Chicken]

  The bird lunged.

  Ren sidestepped.

  It feinted left. He swung right.

  CLANG!

  (Yes, it blocked with its beak.)

  The duel was fast. Violent. Ridiculous.

  And then—

  SLICE.

  Ren’s sword connected. The chicken let out one final dramatic bawk and collapsed in slow motion.

  > [Quest Complete.]

  EXP +10

  Soup Coupon added to inventory.

  New Title: “Fowl Slayer” – Chickens will now fear you (and possibly form cults).

  Ren stood there, panting, sword raised, feathers floating around him like cherry blossoms in a bad anime.

  A nearby villager clapped slowly. “Dang. You killed Henrietta. She’s been terrorizing the tavern for weeks.”

  “…That bird had a name?”

  > [Correction: HAD.]

  ---

  LEVEL UP!

  [Ren – Level 2]

  HP: 60

  MP: 15

  STR: 5

  AGI: 6

  INT: Technically

  > [Skill Unlocked: “Counter-Flap” – 10% chance to auto-dodge bird-based attacks.]

  Ren slumped onto a bench, staring at the sky. “Okay. I’ve got pants. A weapon. A kill count. And enemies.”

  > [Congratulations. You are now slightly less embarrassing.]

  “…I’ll take it.”

  > [Next Objective: Join the Guild. Try not to punch anyone.]

  ---