I have a big test tomorrow and I go through the rigorous routine of getting down to study. The exam is about 24 hours from now so I have plenty of time to get right to it. Like a diligent student, I arrange the books I’d require before me for the actual studying. I check my pen, it’s blue, I test to see whether the ink is coming out nice and steady by scribbling ‘I will pass this exam.’ On my palm. I stare at the words and find them a little lacking so I right some more words below it. ‘I believe in myself, I am a conqueror, I am capable of success. Happiness is my portion. No pain no gain! CARPE DIEM! In Jesus name I will succeed.’ Now that my palm looks like a convict’s with all the affirmative tattoos, I decide it’s time to get to it and start the actual studying but first, an idea pops into my mind.

  I call my buddy Ian.

  “How are you my friend?” I asked him.

  “I’m busy, can’t you call at another time?” Ian asked, a little grumpy for my liking.

  “I’m about to study. Just wanted to see how you’re doing.”

  “You haven’t called me in five years and you’re suddenly calling me now? Asking about how I’m doing?”

  “Yeah, you sort of have a point.” I said while wondering why the hell I’d called Ian in the first place. Ian hang up and I was left staring at my phone.

  I put the phone aside and rubbed at my temples, I felt a slight ache in my forehead and decided to take some pain killers but I didn’t find any so I went to the chemist and purchased some painkillers. I returned to the house, popped some pills and started the process of studying when I suddenly remembered something that simply couldn’t wait.

  I called Ian once more. He picked up on the fourth ring.

  “Did you know that Njeri got pregnant with Michael’s child?” I asked him

  “Who is Njeri?” Ian sounded very irritated.

  “She is the choir master at church, and Michael is a heathen, caused quite the scandal.”

  “First of all, I’m an atheist and haven’t stepped into a church since I was baptised in one as a baby against my will, second thing is I don’t know who Njeri or Michael is so this really doesn’t matter to me.” Ian said.

  “But — But it’s a big scandal!” I said appalled. Couldn’t Ian simply entertain me for a moment as I unwound some hot gossip?

  “You said you want to study when you called the first time, are you using me to procrastinate?” Ian asked.

  Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

  “Heavens no, I’m just about to start you know, going through the phases.”

  “Don’t call me unless it’s important.” Ian said and hang up. Such a friend he was.

  I took my blue pen and tried writing on my write hand using my left the words, ‘I will make it in life.’ But couldn’t quite get the letters to curl so instead I went and warmed some tea. I didn’t have anything to take the tea with so I went and bought some scones and as I was feasting I suddenly had an idea.

  I called my buddy Ian.

  “Ian.” I started.

  “For Christ’s sake what’s wrong with you?”

  “Why are you mentioning Christ when you very well said you are an atheist? How would you feel if I go mentioning Science in the same way you’re mentioning my God?”

  Ian gave a sigh which really sounded like a sigh of contempt but I’m not the expert on sighs. “What is it now? I’m at work here.”

  “I was thinking about the Northern lights, you know them? The lights around the far North at the snowy places?”

  “It’s called Aurora.”

  “Thought that’s a girl’s name.”

  “Any object that’s pretty and has a name will end up sharing the name with a female because it’s simply pretty.”

  “Huh, I know a girl called Sony, what’s pretty about Sony?” I asked Ian.

  “When you get a fifty-four Inch Sony plasma TV, you’ll find something pretty about Sony.” Ian said.

  “Okay you have a point, anyway, I was thinking about the Northern lights, the Aurora as you put it. I’ve never seen them in the flesh.”

  “You’ve never left Kenya you dolt.”

  “I know and that’s something I plan to change. I feel like this is my year Iano and I want to ask you to go with me, you know, to see Aurora.”

  “Do you have any money?”

  “No but my blog will one day pay off.”

  “Sure sure, don’t call me again.” Ian hang up for the third time.

  I took the blue pen and wrote on the back of my hand ‘I don’t need anyone but God. I am my own man. I am strong and independent. You can achieve anything if you set your mind to it.’ I observed the books I was supposed to study and I slowly opened the text book and read the first line.

  ‘Certain types of bacteria are known to travel by the use of flagella while others may—’ I shut the textbook and called Ian a fourth time.

  “I hope there’s something important you want to say to me.” Ian intoned.

  “It’s been a very rough day Ian; I just need someone to talk to.”

  “Okay, what’s up?” Ian quested, sounding sincere for once.

  “I feel drained you know.” I said.

  “Are you a manhole?”

  I hesitated. “Like, an asshole?”

  “No like the manhole, you know? The ones on the ground used to access sewage?”

  “I’m obviously not that.”

  “Then why are you feeling drained if you aren’t a manhole?”

  “That’s not funny.” I said but Ian started laughing and he laughed really hard for quite a long time and when he was done and I was about to put a word in he cut the call.

  I took my pen and scribbled furiously on my arm.” Fake friends are everywhere.’

  I called Ian again but he didn’t pick up. I stared at the textbook and felt this sudden exhaustion as if I’d spent all day studying and in a way I sort of had done exactly that. So I closed the books and went and lay down for a short nap.

  XXXXXXXX

  If you enjoyed this article and want to support sleepless creativity, consider clicking the donate button and subscribing to my Patreon. Your support unlocks access to more chapters, exclusive content, and keeps the caffeine flowing! Thank you for keeping the dream alive—even if sleep isn't.