AphroditeTakesTheWheel: yo, I saw a unicorn earlier. even touched it. It was awesome.

  TheKumaPuma: Don’t we see one once every few weeks?

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: so what? it’s still cool when it happens. this time, i even get to touch it.

  Kim: Did you wash your hands afterward? They’re usually quite dirty.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: it didn’t look dirty, tho.

  Kim: Regardless, you should wash your hands. No dinner for you unless you do.

  TheKumaPuma: You don’t want to miss Jayce’s cooking tonight~

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: i washed them already, okay. i was just saying it didn’t look dirty.

  Kim: Good.

  Jayce-on: Y’all, a giant passed by my workplace today.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: a giant’s in the city???

  Kim: I saw it on the news.

  TheKumaPuma: Why’s one there?

  Kim: Apparently, one of the buildings is on the verge of collapse.

  Jayce-on: Yep. My desk is in the riiiiiight spot for me to watch the whole thing unfold. T’was wild seeing a giant hugging a skyscraper toward the plains.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: pls tell me you recorded the whole thing.

  Jayce-on: I gotchu, Honey.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: ?????? U da best.

  TheKumaPuma: How did they get a giant in, though?

  Kim: The authorities cast an invisible platform above the roads and evacuated the area surrounding the building.

  TheKumaPuma: Damn, I wonder how many sorcerers that took. Wizards? I never know the difference.

  Jayce-on: Don’t you work with sorcerers and wizards semi-regularly? How do you still not know the difference?

  TheKumaPuma: I draw what they tell me. I don’t ask why. They pay me, they get their stuff. End of story.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: darling dear, you really ought to pay attention to the world you live in. this is something everyone learns in middle-school.

  TheKumaPuma: Nu.

  Kim: When are you returning home? @AphroditeTakesTheWheel

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: uhhhh, in an hour, maybe?

  Jayce-on: Perfect. Buy a bottle of soy sauce on your way back.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: what brand izzit again?

  Kim: Blue Oyster.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: kkk

  TheKumaPuma: @Kim Illustration’s almost done. U wanna look at it later? See if I got everything right?

  Kim: I will, thanks.

  Jayce-on: Ey, who y’all wanna get kinky this Sat night?

  Kim: I thought we agreed to keep the NSFW talks in another chat.

  Jayce-on: Ya, but we barely use it. ‘ave to scroll allllll the way down.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  TheKumaPuma: Pls don’t talk about that right now. I need to focus on my work till tmr night. No horny till then.

  Jayce-on: Ugh, fineeeeee.

  Kim: I’d like to join this time. It’s been a while.

  TheKumaPuma: Come on, not you, Kim! Now I’ll have an even more difficult time focusing.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: DID KIM SAY THEY WANNA JOIN?!

  Jayce-on: Yassss

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: FUCK YEAH

  Kim: Please, speak of it no more. @TheKumaPuma needs to focus. If you all don’t behave, I won’t participate.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: okokok

  Jayce-on: I’ve already a few ideas kekeke

  Kim: By the way, a certain someone’s merch has arrived.

  TheKumaPuma: Is it mine?

  Kim: It’s @AphroditeTakesTheWheel

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: POG

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: just put it in my room and don’t open it okay!

  TheKumaPuma: Dammit, not again. This is getting too long. I need to call that prick. If he says he “can’t do anything” again, I’m going to do terrible things.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: pats pats dere, there

  Jayce-on: pats pats There, thereeeee.

  TheKumaPuma: Aight, heading home now. Kim, was there any development with that thing?

  Kim: Which thing? The slime or the layoffs?

  TheKumaPuma: Both

  Kim: The use of slime particles in the magic infusion array was a success, but it did not produce the intended spell.

  Jayce-on: y’szzat?

  TheKumaPuma: I bloody knew it. They’re all idiots if they think that’s somehow going to produce a “universal gender-affirming spell” or whatever the hell that means.

  Kim: @Jayce-on It’s a complicated problem, but the gist is that a slime’s transformative abilities aren’t as potent as the process requires. Essentially, the people performing this ritual are attempting to discover a shortcut to a complex spell.

  TheKumaPuma: Hope whatever thing they tested the spell on isn’t disfigured horribly. Bunch of quack bastards, they are.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: weren’t they the same people who tried making a spell that allows people to use social media with their eyes or something

  Jayce-on: think so, ye

  TheKumaPuma: It’s their whole strategy. The clickbait articles their project generates are basically their whole business model, somehow.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: so many beeg words. das why I only follow accounts that shows cute stuff.

  Jayce-on: Didntcha just tell @TheKumaPuma to pay attention to the world? Lmao

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: i am just by listening to Jayce and Kim.

  Kim: Moving on, the layoffs at Pungee have been quite the shitshow, to put it mildly.

  Kim: They fired Shelvatori.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: WAT

  Jayce-on: Huh? Why’d u care about this?

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: i like listening to the music whenever i watch Al play the game

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: i’m so sad shelvatori’s gone now…

  TheKumaPuma: Godddamn, I didn’t expect they give him the boot. If even he’s getting kicked, then no one’s safe.

  Kim: Have you all seen the latest prophecy from the oracles?

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: no. what is it?

  Kim: They claim a great change is coming. The First Death, or so they say.

  Jayce-on: Death of what?

  Kim: Based on the context, many people interpreted it as possibly the capitalist system.

  Kim: However, that interpretation is contentious, to say the least.

  Kim: The right wing folks are claiming that prophecy is referring to the return of the dragons to “raze the leftists.”

  TheKumaPuma: I doubt the dragons will make distinctions like that if they ever do return

  Kim: They will not, no. Most people do agree that the prophecy’s referring to a society upheaval in which the individuals in power will be threatened by the masses.

  Jayce-on: The prophecies always come late, innit? Everyone can alr see big changes are coming.

  TheKumaPuma: Yes, but the prophecy reassures the public because they’re always accurate. Now, it’s something that’s actually going to happen and not just people speculating it may.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: how r the prophecies always be released?

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: didn’t a bunch of people tried taking them down every time?

  Jayce-on: They magic, deary. Magic > tech

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: tru tru

  Kim: The rich and powerful are no doubt fearing for their golden thrones.

  Kim: If they try to prevent it, they’ll only hasten the process.

  Kim: If they don’t, they fall regardless.

  TheKumaPuma: Finally, some good fucking karma.

  TheKumaPuma: Aight, I’ll stop talking for now. See y’all back home.

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: same!

  Kim: Be safe, everyone.

  Jayce-on: Don’t forget game night!

  AphroditeTakesTheWheel: yayaya