Kyle

  December 1st, 2023

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: hey babe

  imthekingandiknowit: heyy

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: hows diana?

  imthekingandiknowit: still recuperating

  she hasnt called us

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: is she allowed?

  imthekingandiknowit: yea but she wont call idk why

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: maybe she doesnt want to talk rn

  imthekingandiknowit: Yea maybe

  im just worryed

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Worried*

  imthekingandiknowit: Nicole noooo

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Lol u know I cant stand that

  Use autocorrect

  imthekingandiknowit: Autocorrect is ^$@%

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: (ROFL emoji)

  r u allowed to visit?

  imthekingandiknowit: not yet

  we can on monday tho

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: how long is she gonna b in there?

  imthekingandiknowit: were not sure yet

  a couple weeks more maybe

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: r u feeling ok? how r u dealing with everything?

  10 seconds later

  imthekingandiknowit: idk

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: you know im always here for u right? im praying for you

  imthekingandiknowit: thank you nicole

  maybe i should pray… havent done that in a long time

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea itll help

  it helps me

  imthekingandiknowit: tbh i feel really distant with god

  ig ive just been angry

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: about what?

  imthekingandiknowit: everything

  amy, diana, school, everything. its so much to deal with

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea it is

  but u dont have to deal with it alone

  u just need to ask for help

  imthekingandiknowit: ill try

  its gonna b a long pathological tho

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: ??

  imthekingandiknowit: U see?? I HATE AUTOCORRECT

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: (multiple ROFL emojis)

  imthekingandiknowit: U dont use it!

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Bc I can actually spell (laughing emoji)

  imthekingandiknowit: Very funny (rolling eyes emoji)

  ~~~

  December 3rd, 2023

  imthekingandiknowit: hey baby

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: hiii

  everything ok?

  imthekingandiknowit: yea diana called us

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: really??? Thats great!

  What did she say?

  imthekingandiknowit: she felt better today

  she said shes taking walks w her therapist in a garden there

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: theres a garden?

  imthekingandiknowit: Yea remember amy loved it

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Ohhh yea

  Thats good

  imthekingandiknowit: were going to see her tmrw

  i wanted to try and bring u but they only alow the imediate fam

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: its ok i understand

  this is something for u guys too, its ur moment

  ill just b in the way

  imthekingandiknowit: (giggling emoji)

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: what?

  imthekingandiknowit: u didnt correct my spelling

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea I noticed

  I just didnt say anything even tho I was dying here lol

  ALLOW* IMMEDIATE*

  There im ok

  imthekingandiknowit: (multiple laughing emojis)

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: What else did diana say?

  imthekingandiknowit: Oh yea guess what

  she met monica

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Monica Sullivan?

  imthekingandiknowit: yea shes at the oncology ward there

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: wow! did they talk?

  imthekingandiknowit: well monica saw diana when she was broght to the hospital bc she got a bone marrow trasplant that day, so she saw her in the ICU

  and then she went to dianas room to see who she was, and diana found out she knew amy, so she asked us who she was and we told her

  i thought wed told her about monica before, ig we didnt

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: yall dont really talk about amy w her that much tho

  imthekingandiknowit: yea ur right

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: u guys havent visited monica either right?

  imthekingandiknowit: i didnt know she was there, i thought she was at home

  Harry told me she wasnt going to school anymore

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: U should go see her

  shes probably having a hard time

  imthekingandiknowit: yea we will, ill tell mom and dad

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: one more thing

  imthekingandiknowit: ?

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: brought* transplant*

  imthekingandiknowit: ok im out lol

  ~~~

  December 5th, 2023

  If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  imthekingandiknowit: hey babe quick question

  ur roommate works w service dogs right?

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: yea

  imthekingandiknowit: could u ask her for the phone number of where she works?

  4 minutes later

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: (208) 787-3647

  imthekingandiknowit: thank u babe i love youuu

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: love you toooo

  ~~~

  December 8th, 2023

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: hi baby

  imthekingandiknowit: hey nic

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: hows it going? ur saw diana right?

  imthekingandiknowit: yeah today, we just got back

  she’s doing a bit better

  still really depressed tho

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: did she talk to monica?

  imthekingandiknowit: Not from what I know

  I texted monica and we talked about diana but she didn’t say they talked again

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Did u visit monica?

  imthekingandiknowit: Yeah we saw her but only for a few mins

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: How is she?

  imthekingandiknowit: She’s really thin… reminds me so much of Amy’s chemo

  And she had her wig off so it hurt more

  Kind of like reliving the experience yk?

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Aww baby (teary eyes emoji)

  imthekingandiknowit: She was happy to see us tho

  You know, she said that ivy visits her all the time

  Its weird that ivy never told her about Diana

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Well ivy doesnt really like diana

  Maybe she just didnt want to talk about her

  imthekingandiknowit: That’s true, shes mad at all of us

  ~~~

  December 10th, 2023

  imthekingandiknowit: hey nic

  Dianas coming back on tuesday

  thank God, they let her stay

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Really? Thank God!!!

  Im so happy

  theyre not gonna send that witch to watch her again right?

  imthekingandiknowit: no she got fired

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: really???

  imthekingandiknowit: yea lol she’s under investigation but i think she’s fired

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: good

  she was horrible

  imthekingandiknowit: so were thinking that we spend time with her the first day and then a couple days later u can come over

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Ok sure!

  imthekingandiknowit: And we’re going to see Amy

  we haven’t gone since diana came

  were thinking we can talk to her about amy and that way we can clear the air

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: great idea

  im so happy for u (heart emoji)

  imthekingandiknowit: oh and guess what?

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: what

  imthekingandiknowit: I left autocorrect on

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Really?? (laughing emoji) it helps doesnt it?

  imthekingandiknowit: Eh its ok, i only have a few settings allowed

  If it gets u to stop correcting me

  princesssoraismyQUEEN: Exactly (winking emoji)

  ~~~

  Diana

  The first time I was released from the hospital psych ward, I was sent to the Collins family. I remembered arriving there in Mr. Brian’s car. Despite the house being a pretty, homey one, I saw it as a prison with barbed wires locking me inside.

  The Collins family wound up being nice. I was just about hitting puberty, so their oldest daughter, who was 16, taught me about periods and everything I didn’t know much about. The two younger ones were very sweet and always invited me to play in their rooms with their toys. I was still under expulsion thanks to the fat cats at Brimstone Academy, so they homeschooled me with the other kids.

  I was apprehensive at first, thinking that at any given moment, they’d turn on me like vipers and take a 180. But that never happened. They wanted to be my friends, but I wouldn’t call them that— they were my foster siblings only.

  As time went on, I almost gave them that title. My guard was coming down. I thought I would stay for a while. I thought maybe they could be my friends… just maybe. They were so kind and different from the other kids, like Camilla was.

  Two months later, in October 2019, Mr. Brian came to pick me up. It was a regular day. I was jumping on my bed with their 7-year old son. They told me to pack up my bags and go. I remembered feeling so heartbroken and confused, wondering why they sent me back so suddenly. Even worse? All the kids knew… and they didn’t say a word.

  Now, four years later, as Mr. Brian drove up to the Fields’ house, I was terrified.

  I wouldn’t be able to fool them so easily anymore. My chance to free myself was gone. If I ever saw an open window, I’d take it. Not like at school when I stood like an idiot in an empty bathroom, with plenty of time to escape.

  When the Fields visited me in the hospital, they seemed optimistic about keeping me. They were worried about me. But now that I was back, would they react the same way? Would I become just ‘too much’ for them and get sent away? Would they close themselves off?

  I wasn’t close to really feeling at home here, but families like these were rare for me. With my record, not many people this decent were willing to take me in. Maybe I could somehow convince them to keep me until I aged out. I could control my tendencies. I could try not to get anxiety, or have panic attacks. I could do better. I knew I could.

  “You ready?” Mr. Brian asked me.

  I nodded, determined to get this reunion over with. “Let’s go.”

  All I’d brought with me was my phone and the backpack of extra clothing and books Susan and Davis brought to the hospital. My fingers were itching to write something. I had a lot to tell my diary.

  It was as if my diary were my only real friend. It listened, never hurt me, and understood me completely. I felt like a crazy person, making friends with a notebook. But that was the only other way I could let out my feelings without… doing anything else.

  When I got out of the car, the first thing I noticed was a big banner hung over the porch, reading, ‘Welcome Home, Diana’. I couldn’t help a smile and a tinge of hope. All I had to do was control myself, and they wouldn’t get tired of me.

  My feet crunched the snow that had formed the past days. It went from chilly air and dead grass to freezing air and white, sparkly powder everywhere. Gulping, I went up the porch steps. It was nighttime, so it brought me right back to when I first came four months ago, having no idea about the secrets of this home. I envisioned myself walking through the door, facing the boys with their jaws slacked open as they regarded their little sister— her exact double.

  I blinked the memory away. That was four months ago… that was all? I felt like I’d been here longer.

  Before I could knock, the door opened, revealing Susan’s smiling face. She stepped forward, as if to hug me, but hesitated. I hesitated, too, at first, but wrapped my arms around her waist. Her body relaxed and she squeezed me tightly.

  That feeling… it was so warm and nurturing. I’d never felt that… or maybe I did, but it had been years.

  Davis came next, hugging me just as tightly. It was as if he thought that at any moment, I’d be snatched away, and he was using all his strength to keep me here. He finally let go and helped me take off my coat, sweater, and other winter apparel.

  Did they really care for me that much?

  “Hey, Diana!” Harry came from the dining room and pulled me into a hug without hesitation. I didn’t expect myself to be so desperate for that kind of affection. Every hug made me want to burst into tears.

  Of course, I held them back. I didn’t want to ruin the reunion so early.

  Tommy then came, lifting me up in the air as he embraced me. I let out a squeal of surprise. The two older brothers greeted me next. The warmth and love surrounding me was overwhelming. This wasn’t what I expected.

  After Mr. Brian left, we all went to the dining room, which had a special dinner laid out on the table; turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, red berry pie, cornbread… literally Thanksgiving all over again.

  We had a hearty meal. None of the family members brought up what happened. They instead asked me about stuff I wanted to do. They wanted to plan a family outing, even during the week. Apparently, this was something they used to do when Amy was around— they were called ‘Field Days’. On the nose, but cute.

  They all seemed unusually excited as the dinner went on, which worried me a bit. Were they faking, or were they actually this excited? It was weird.

  My answer came at the end of dinner, when a car pulled into the driveway and someone knocked on the door. Susan answered, revealing Mr. Brian again. I stopped gathering my dishes, watching curiously.

  “Hey, Diana, just came back to deliver something…”

  I put the dishes down and went to the foyer, followed by the others, who also left their dishes behind. I stopped short when I saw a big golden retriever trailing behind Mr. Brian on a leash. My jaw dropped open as I stared at the dog, who looked up at me with its tongue hanging out.

  “Courtesy of Idaho Institute of Service Dogs.” Mr. Brian smiled at me.

  I smiled, a bit confused. “What do you mean?”

  “This is your dog, Diana,” said Susan.

  I looked at her, still unable to comprehend. “I-I don’t understand.”

  “This is something we should’ve given you years ago. It was your foster brothers’ idea.” Mr. Brian nodded at the dog. “Go ahead, you can pet him.”

  The jacket had ‘SERVICE DOG; DO NOT PET’ printed on it in big, bold letters. I raised a brow. Susan laughed. “You’re his owner, Diana. You can pet him.”

  The dog wagged his long, golden tail, seeming to smile up at me with his big, brown eyes. I kept my hands close to my chest, apprehensive. He looked friendly, but…

  I smiled politely. “I-I don’t know…”

  “He doesn’t bite,” Mr. Brian chuckled.

  “You sure?” I giggled anxiously. I’d only met a few dogs in the past, and none of them were that nice. Usually huge Rottweilers, fierce Pitbulls, or aggressive German Shepherds trained to hate me. I’d never been bitten or anything, but they would bark and growl at me like an intruder, just like their owners.

  Susan took my hand gently, guiding it to the dog’s head. My skin tingled at the soft feeling of his fur on my digits. The dog’s tail wagged faster. His face… he was so familiar. It was as if I’d known him for years.

  “This is for me? Like, really?”

  “Yes, he’s for you,” Mr. Brian said, giving Davis the leash. “He’ll help you whenever you feel… any anxiety or panic. He’s trained for that. You’re going to have to take some classes for a week, and train with him so you can feel comfortable around each other. He should help.”

  “And it was your idea?” I looked at the boys.

  “It was Harry’s idea,” Tommy said, pointing at the youngest.

  “Not really,” Harry said modestly. “Kyle helped a lot. Nicole’s roommate works at an office, and he got the number from her, and we got… the dog.” He motioned to the happy golden retriever who observed us as we spoke.

  I found myself choking up, gazing at the puppy… he was so familiar. “He’s really mine?”

  Susan hugged me. “From us to you.”

  “What’s his name?” Jack asked Mr. Brian.

  “At the shelter, his name was Bruno, but you can rename him. You just have to train using his new name.”

  I stared at him. I realized why I knew him so well… he was just like…

  Lonnie.

  I suddenly heard crying behind me. I turned, and instead of the boys, I saw a little girl. Me. I was 10 now, in old, worn pants and an ugly sweater. I held Lonnie, my stuffed golden retriever, in my arms. The dog Mom gave me when I turned four.

  I slowly approached little me, crouching to her eye level. I never realized how tall I’d grown over the past 6 years. “Why are you crying?” I asked her.

  “B-because he’s gonna die,” 10-year old me responded. “They’re gonna take him.”

  “No, he won’t die. It’s okay.”

  “Yeah, he will! He will.” Her voice cracked as she cried more, tears drying on her face, irritating her pale skin.

  “You can hide him. I’ll help you,” I said.

  “Hey, loser.” Behind her, two more people appeared, around my present age. I’d forgotten about them, yet their cruel faces were clear. Their names; Joe and Nancy. Both foster kids like me, yet they hated me with a passion, and I never knew why.

  “Hey, we wanted to play a game,” Nancy said, getting closer. “You want to play?”

  Little me shook her head.

  “Well, maybe your mutt wants to play.” She reached and grabbed Lonnie’s leg, pulling him. The little girl held on to him. “Hey! Let go!”

  “Why do you even want this thing?” Joe said, glaring at the stained, worn-out toy in disgust.

  Diana…

  My heart quickened. I could still hear Lonnie’s voice. I’d forgotten I even heard it. I used to talk to him… and he would always listen, his little tongue always sticking out. How could I forget him? How could I forget any of this?

  I’m scared. Help me, please…

  “Let him go! He’s my friend!” I rushed forward and snatched Lonnie away from Nancy’s arms. I expected her to fight back, but she disappeared along with Joe. I turned to my younger self and gave Lonnie back. Instead of a thankful smile, she stared at me with an outraged glare, betrayed.

  “What did you do?! You killed him!” She showed Lonnie to me; instead of a golden retriever, she held a black mess of burnt fur and cotton. Lonnie’s face was melted away. It was still smoking, some embers glowing from the burn barrel.

  “You killed him!” Little me repeated. “You just stood there! Why didn’t you help?”

  “But I… I thought…”

  “Mommy gave him to me!” she cried. “And now he’s gone!” She shoved me. I gasped, jumping back in fright. Instead of small hands on my thighs, there were paws. The service dog was hopping up on his hind legs, tapping me with his paws.

  “Diana, can you hear me?” Susan faced me, holding my shoulders. I blinked, looking around at my foster family and Mr. Brian.

  “I-I’m sorry… I… how long…?”

  “You just stared for a while,” said Kyle. He was now next to me, supporting me.

  “Did I pass out?”

  “No, you were just standing there. Are you okay?” Tommy asked me.

  “I think so.”

  “I don’t think you’ll have a problem with Lonnie,” said Mr. Brian. “Obviously, he can sense when you’re having an episode already.”

  I nodded blankly, then looked at him. “Wait- Lonnie? I thought his name was Bruno.”

  “When we asked you what to call him, you said ‘Lonnie’,” Davis explained. “Then when we asked how you came up with that, you blanked out.”

  “Oh…” I hadn’t even heard them ask me that. The dog— Lonnie— looked up at me with the puppy smile, tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. “I… it’s because… he reminds me of this stuffed dog I had when I was little,” I said truthfully. “My mom gave him to me. But when I was 10, he got destroyed.” I unwittingly reached down, petting Lonnie’s soft head… he was just as soft as my plushie. “He was a golden retriever toy.”

  “Then Lonnie’s the perfect name,” said Mr. Brian.

  Lonnie was back… I couldn’t believe it. After six years, I got my best friend back.