At st, it felt like things were starting to look up.

  Mercy and I were talking again, Raja’s part-time job was going well, and I’d gotten around to booking an appointment with Dr. Oh. Despite the turbulence, I was almost… hopeful.

  Even the wasps and their tell-tale humming had gone into hibernation, though there were times where their rumbling was so profound, I couldn’t take my pills without throwing them right back up. I tried my best to wrench back control, but they overwhelmed me each time, and eventually I stopped taking them completely. I had no intention of ever mentioning this to Dr. Oh; quite honestly, I didn’t think she would actually care.

  At the station, the fires had scaled back in frequency, and we saw things more in line with what we were used to like kitchen accidents and fireworks gone wrong. Ultimately, it was a cold comfort: now it was obvious that Garrett was on some kind of hiatus, but why he was, I couldn’t say. All I knew was that if he wasn’t making any moves, there wasn’t anything to watch out for, so it brought the investigation - at least on my side - to a standstill.

  In an attempt to keep myself busy, I turned my focus on the elements of my job that I’d been neglecting. Catching up on reading was one of those monotonous chores we all had to do, and since tonight had been a slow night, it was a good opportunity for me to refresh my memory. With my manuals id out on my desk, I was in the middle of yawning when I was interrupted by a knock at the door. Immediately, I sat upright, my back as straight as a board.

  “Yes?” I called out uneasily.

  Through the door came Chief Cormorant, who was just about the st person I expected to see. I straightened further at the sight of him.

  “Chief.” Right away, I stood up from my chair, hands behind my back. “I wasn’t expecting you. How may I help you, sir?”

  “At ease, Herrera, I’m just making the rounds— seeing what you’re all up to.” Cormorant adjusted his tie. “I might not be the most sociable person at the station, but I still find it important to check in on the rest of you from time to time, you know.”

  I nodded silently. I wasn’t about to interrogate the Chief about his business, as I hardly considered us close enough to talk about anything beyond work or the weather. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure any of us were very close to him at all, as he kept everyone at arm’s length to the point where some of us didn’t even remember his first name.

  Stepping forward into my dorm, Cormorant’s eyes traveled all over me, inspecting me closely. He could be rather intimidating for a man with a mustache that reminded me of a Schnauzer, but what he cked in physical stature he made up for in the stiff, fatherly way that he stared you down until you cracked. There was no hiding anything when he was around, which was why I was gd he spent most of the time cooped up in his office.

  To show him respect, I raised my chin, but Cormorant didn’t bother to acknowledge it. Instead, he gnced over to my desk. I swallowed nervously.

  “Staying on top of your literature, I see,” he noted. “That’s good.”

  I nodded again. “Yes, sir.”

  A thoughtful pause. Then he, too, put his hands behind himself. “I’m gd to have caught you here, actually. I’ve been meaning to touch base with you.”

  Just as I’d expected from the moment he walked in; Cormorant never wasted his time talking to us unless something was bothering him. I’d gotten extremely tight-lipped about my personal problems at work, and I knew damn well that it hadn’t affected my actual performance as a firefighter… I tried not to make my dread nakedly obvious.

  “Of course, sir,” I said. “By all means.”

  Without asking, the Chief took the chair out from my desk and sat down, crossing his legs as he leaned back. He then motioned for me to sit on my bed across from him like it was his room, not mine.

  Bancing his elbow on the desk, Cormorant rested his forehead against his fingers, looking sternly at me. Now my pulse was going haywire, racing as if I’d been running a marathon. Could he tell that I had to steady myself with each exhale? I hoped not.

  “Sir?” I prompted.

  “I am first to admit that I know quite little about your personal life, but…” He paused to scratch his mustache. “I can tell that you’ve been overwhelmed as of te. If there’s something on your mind, I’d appreciate it if you were open with me about it. I hold no judgment.”

  It took all of my willpower not to roll my eyes. What were the odds that one of the higher ups had made him sit through some bullshit sensitivity training and he was just going through the motions to tick off a box on a checklist? Still, I tried to pretend that it didn’t bother me.

  “Um, sir, with all due respect— if you’re worried that I’m, I don’t know, stressed out or something, I’m not. I’m fine. Really.” I smiled so tightly, it was more like a rictus you’d find on a corpse. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

  “That’s not what I said.” The Chief shifted his weight in his seat. “To be quite frank, while your well-being is important to me as your chief, this is moreso about the bigger picture. If there’s something you’re dealing with that affects your abilities as a firefighter, it makes you a liability— not only to yourself, but the rest of the crew as well.”

  His words were sharp enough to make me wince. My hands, which I had been resting on my knees, clenched reflexively. “I see.”

  “I’ve always considered myself accommodating, and to a point, even appreciative of the different personalities I’ve encountered working in fire rescue,” he continued, cing his fingers across his p. “And in my time, I’ve seen many great men and women falter from the stress of the profession. Fws can become fatal weaknesses, or chinks in an otherwise fine armor. You understand, don’t you?”

  Instead of looking at Cormorant, I stared beyond him at the wall behind his head. He became little more than a blur as I concentrated on that wall, knowing it was a better use of my energy than daring to defend myself.

  “Don’t take any of this the wrong way. You’re an excellent firefighter and a valued member of the team,” he added. “Simply put, I would hate to see you nguish, especially if there’s something you’re able to do about it.”

  There was no way in hell that Garrett hadn’t had a hand in this, but all I had to go off of was an assumption. I gnced away from the wall back to the Chief, who studied me with a mix of judgment and sympathy, as if he considered this talk an act of kindness rather than an incisive lecture.

  Standing from the chair in one fluid motion, Chief Cormorant smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt and adjusted his belt like he had more important pces to be. He took one st look at my desk, then he looked back to me; the yellow light from the mp washed over his expression and made it appear far more gentle than it was.

  “That’s all I came here to talk about,” he said curtly. “If there’s anything further you wish to discuss, just know that my door is always open.”

  I didn’t have anything left to say, so all I did was nod. It was all such fucking bullshit, I could hardly stand it, but for now, I had to keep pretending that these charades meant anything to me at all.

  As Cormorant made his exit, I wasn’t really in the mood to study anymore, so I’d started putting everything away, shoving bookmarks between pages and collecting pens into the cup on my desk. Then, out of nowhere, the Chief cleared his throat, having been lingering in the doorway as I cleaned up. “Are you much of a reader, Herrera?”

  I looked back at him. “No, sir. Why?”

  “Well, I find that in times of difficulty, reading grants me crity,” he said. “Personally, my favorite genre is philosophy.”

  “Mm…” I wasn’t even going to pretend that I cared. “That’s interesting.”

  Unexpectedly, Chief Cormorant didn’t take it as his cue to leave. Instead, from the sounds of it, he jangled several keys in his pocket - something he always did when he was thinking deeply.

  “In fact, it was philosopher Thomas Reid who I believe penned one of the greatest quotes of all time.” He paused, as if for emphasis. “Are you familiar with it?”

  “No, sir, can’t say that I am.” I sorted the books into a neat little stack right at the corner of the desk. “What did he say?”

  The jangling in his pockets stopped.

  “‘The chain is no stronger than its weakest link’,” he said with authority. “It’s certainly food for thought, isn’t it?”

  Immediately, I froze in pce. I turned back to look at Chief Cormorant, the faintest ghost of a frown haunting his lips. Before I could say anything, he took the handle of my door and closed it behind him.

  ? ? ?

  Into the dead of the night, I waited until the station had fallen into a sleepy silence before I headed to the gym to burn off every calorie in my body. When I got there, it was quieter than a tomb, and I felt blessed; I didn’t have it in me to talk to anyone right now. I just wanted to go in, get my blood pumping, and get out.

  Unfortunately, in the middle of warming up with a jump rope, Garrett came in, whistling away like this was his usual routine. I debated finishing early just to avoid him, but I was getting pretty sick of his shit. If this little psycho wanted to chase me out of the firehouse to the point of enlisting Chief Cormorant, it wouldn’t be without a fight.

  Determined, I put the jump rope away and walked straight past Garrett to the weights rack, pausing for a few minutes to stretch. At first, he didn’t even acknowledge my presence, activating the treadmill without so much as gncing in my direction. Two can py at this game, I thought.

  Situating myself at the barbell bench, I got several reps in before I finally heard the sound of the treadmill powering down, followed by Garrett’s footsteps as he approached. Out of instinct, I gripped the bar tighter.

  “Well, fancy seeing you here, stranger!” Garrett said, wiping the sweat from his face with a towel as he leaned over me. “Me and the guys were just talking earlier about how you never join us in the gym anymore, and now here you are! What a coincidence!”

  Rolling my eyes would’ve been giving him too much attention, so I said nothing, continuing my bench presses in silence like he was just a fly on the wall. I could feel his eyes on me, wicked and focused, following each rise and fall of the barbell.

  “Man, I remember how you used to join us for movies all the time, but now you never do…” He sighed. “Doesn’t it ever get lonely, always being the odd one out? I mean, I know you’re choosing to be, but still.”

  My fists tightened around the bar as I propelled the weight above me, but I kept quiet. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Garrett’s eyelid twitch, though his smile was bright and stiff like the kind you’d see on an advertisement.

  “But I bet that girlfriend of yours keeps you from being too lonely, am I right?” Purposefully, he moved to hover right over my face, inescapable. “Though… I wonder how well she really knows you.”

  Then, Garrett curled his fingers under the barbell like he was pying spotter, his fingers grazing mine.

  “Do you think she knows to put the knives away when you visit?” His voice came out low and sweet, too soft for how sharply his words were barbed. “Or is she a little twisted, just like you?”

  After one st lift, I heaved the barbell back onto its rack, forcing Garrett to reel back as I got up from the bench.

  “I don’t have a girlfriend,” I said, staring at him like the idiot he was. “Not that that’s any of your business.”

  With a smirk, Garrett raised an eyebrow like he didn’t believe me. “Really?”

  “Yep.” Scooting forward, I lifted the bottom of my shirt and wiped my face dry. “You’re not as clever as you think you are.”

  With a boastful swagger, he looped around the machine to stand in front of me. To anyone else, he would’ve looked warm and sincere, yet there was a spark in his eyes that was anything but. “So that means you’re still looking for your Lois Lane, right?”

  Instantly, my cheeks burned. Though I struggled to keep my expression as bnk as possible, it was impossible to hold back a scowl, and the satisfaction stretched across Garrett’s lips proved that he got exactly what he wanted out of me.

  And yet despite the humming in my arms craving for another opportunity to break free, I knew that throwing Garrett around the gym wasn’t the answer - ironically, I had to fight fire with fire. Breathing steadily, I rose from the bench, taking a quick drink from my water bottle before turning to Garrett.

  “You think you’re the only one who likes to listen in on people’s conversations?” I cocked my head to the side. “It’s fuckin’ amateur hour over here, isn’t it?”

  Capping off my water bottle, I closed the gap between us until we were so close, barely anything could fit in the space left over. Garrett’s eyes flickered downward before returning to lock with mine, and I could sense how shallow his breaths were. Still, his smile remained, though by now it had melted into a dark little smirk.

  “For some reason, you always got my name in your mouth— talking shit about me all the time, following me around like a little hound dog…” I sneered. “Honestly, seems like you’re a little obsessed with me.”

  “Jeez, you sound paranoid.” As he ughed, Garrett’s eyebrows pinched together in concern. “Maybe you should take your medication instead of flushing it down the toilet all the time. It doesn’t work if you don’t take it.”

  In the center of my chest, I was gored by rage and shame. The little snoop had probably seen my pill bottles when I hadn’t thought to hide them, far before I realized the mistake of showing him my weaknesses. Still, as much as I wanted to smash his face in, I held back.

  Inhale,

  exhale…

  When I made no move to sh out, Garrett’s smile - as sinister as it was - tightened, like I wasn’t pying the part he’d assigned to me. Smugly, I smiled back.

  “I see right through you, chico.” I let my gaze run all over him, no stone left unturned. “You py these little mind games ‘cause you ain’t got the balls to earn yourself respect like a real man.”

  His eyelid twitched again. “Honestly, Manny, I don’t know how you come up with this stuff.”

  “Ay, I’m just calling it like I see it,” I replied, shrugging. “Guys like you are a dime a dozen: too weak to fight like men, so you run that little mouth of yours instead, and then when people call you out, you py the victim.”

  Instead of a comeback, Garrett simply stared at me. As I leaned in closer, his breath caught in this throat, and the muscles in his neck twitched from how firmly he clenched his jaw.

  “It’s no wonder everyone’s always pushing you around,” I whispered, so quiet that only he could hear it. “Who could ever respect a little bitch like you?”

  That was when Garrett’s mask finally cracked, and his lips retracted into a nasty snarl. He really tried his best to keep up the charade, which was almost admirable on his part, but I’d clearly gotten to him. I’d never gotten him so deeply, thoroughly angered, and I loved every second of it.

  “That’s all you are, Garrett: a pathetic little bitch.” I couldn’t help but smirk venomously. “And that’s all you’ll ever be.”

  At his sides, his fists tensed, but Garrett was robbed of any snappy little one-liners he could spit at me. Now that I’d put him in his pce, I purposefully shoved my shoulder into him as I walked past him toward the exit. To my surprise, he made no attempt to follow, standing as if frozen in pce.

  Right as I stepped through the doorway, I turned around to look back at him one st time. “Hey! Chico!”

  For whatever reason, Garrett swiveled his head to look at me. His face was so still, so cold, yet I sensed the fury brimming underneath. In a quick motion, I peeled my shirt off, still damp with sweat, and tossed it like a ball. When he saw it hit the ground, I ughed mockingly.

  “Go on, boy!” I said. “Fetch!”

  With the way Garrett stared at me, if looks could kill, I would’ve died right then and there.