BENTA SCHOLARSHIP? SEMESTER 1 REQUIREMENTS

  A student on the BENTA SCHOLARSHIP? must plete the following:

  Pass all csses with at least 80% grades

  Intermediate trol over i power within the semester

  -Ability to jure power at will

  -Ability to hold power in

  -Expertise at using bloodsaber

  Experiehe Proper First Semester i Events

  -A “Jump Fifteen” experience

  -Crystal Level Rare event

  -Fulfill all requirements of the "Three Days" during club signup month

  Defeat of Void Beasts (tracked via power blocker)

  -150 lower level light void beasts defeated (area 1)

  -50 lower level medium void beasts defeated (areas 1-3)

  -5 lower level boss void beasts defeated (Team defeat applicable)

  -1 ultra level void boss defeated (Solo defeat only)

  Extracurricur

  One (1) club or after school job pleted for three hours per week

  “Oh,” I said. “I don’t know.”

  That all seemed like a lot. But there was a li the bottom that was worse.

  Failure to plete BENTA SCHOLARSHIP? requirements within the semester will result in student being transferred to an alternative school, namely Wildfire Hearts i Academy.

  The paper shook in my hands even when I tried to calm down.

  “I mean, this list is pretty long,” I said, babbling out loud because I couldn’t think about Jeans’ school here. “That level of trol over my powers? That many void beasts to beat? And I’m irely sure what a void beast is.”

  Like the vagueness of the sex-ed books I had shoved under my bedroom door by Stel when puberty reared its ugly head, the i books describing the void and the monsters in it were vague oails that mattered. But their vagueness at least gave me a talking point to not think about Jeans, who was looming sly in my mind that I thought I was about to cry. And I couldn’t even bite my lip to stop it.

  Jeans was going to Wildfire Hearts. If I failed, and I would, I would go to Wildfire Hearts. A the same school as Jeans. Stel cut Diast off before she could answer.

  “We don’t have to decide this nht?” Stel asked, trying to take the pressure off me as I felt immi meltdoroag.

  “How about this,” Diast said. “I’ll give you a week to decide, that’s the usual timeframe. Call back with what you decide. A i school would be ideal, but ending up at Staverius wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

  I’d take a trillion Staveriuses over a single Wildfire Hearts.

  Jeans’ voiapped into my head. “It’d meahing if you went to Wildfire Hearts, too.” I took that memory of her void I ched it into a stupid ball and chucked that thing ay whatever spa my brain and gulped down the about to cry feelings.

  “So what would Staverius be like for a i now?” I asked, gd my voice didn’t give way because once you have the cry voi front of someohe tears are ing no matter how many gulps and lip bites you try. “You said it was different.”

  “It’s not a i school, and the i budget got sshed a few years back,” Diast said. “It’s doable, but it’s not built for us anymore. There’s a lot of safety hat aren’t there anymore for i.”

  “Hm.” I said. Having to fight void monsters didn’t seem like much of a safety . Diast gave me a look that immediately struck me. For someone who was a little goofy, she looked pletely serious.

  “I really think you do this, Zeta.” Diast said. “I think you’d be a great fit at Rising Shards.”

  “If you go, it’s gotta be on that schorship,” Stel said. “I don’t see any way I afford it otherwise…”

  I sighed. This was too much pressure for me. I just wao hide from any big life altering decisions like this. I’d go to Rising Shards, but the risk of failure was extraordinary. And far too directly tied to my particurly traumatic summer.

  “It’s your call, though,” Stel said. “Uniform’s a lot better than Staverius’ too.”

  “Really?!” I said, getting way too amped when I saw the uniform on the pamphlet Stel held up. “No prison suits?”

  “I’m not kidding when I say like. 95% of the kids whoing to Staverius I’ve met with say something about their terrible uniforms.” Diast said. “But I’m stig with a week. Call me back then, but also call back if you have any weird sudden symptoms. You’ve taken your first steps on your i journey, and those sed steps be rocky.”

  I followed Stel out a drained on the way home. After helping Stel up all the blood I bled in my room, I moped in our living room in front of the TV while Stel went to bed. I kept running my tongue over the eeth. Well, not really new, but they felt hey hurt less than they had when they fully came in, but more than they did the st few weeks. I had to wait a week for the mouthguard to be ready and I wasn’t looking forward to more lip biting. Also, the wristband was kinda itchy.

  I wao go to Rising Shards, but the schorship qualifier…I couldn’t do all that in oer. There was no way. Nobody probably could do that and that’s how whoever was funding the schorship got their mohey got all their like students in the system, but they all fail right away so the funders don’t have to lose any money.

  And when I failed, I’d go to Wildfire Hearts. And the particurly traumatic summer would turn into an even worse traumatic fall.

  “I ’t be alone again.” Her voice. It hurt really bad that time, worse than my fangs hurt. I buried my fa my hands for a bit until things were slightly more bearable. I looked at the coffee table and poked through the pile of paperwork on it. Just uhe paperclip was the card Dr. Diast gave that had her tafo.

  Stel was asleep already, but I didn’t wao hear this. I made sure I had my key ao a small outdoor area on my floor. I picked a good time because there was nobody else there, just a lot of empty chairs and an incredible view of the nightlife of the city past the railing.

  I paced bad forth for like fifteen minutes because I’ve never been good at making phone calls. I could have waited until the day, but I was nearing another immi crisis and I didn’t really have anyone else I felt safe turning to about this. Which was weird because I just met Dr. Diast, but maybe that was why. Stel knew enough of the Jeans situation, not everything, but Diast was a ste. I shakily dialed the buttons, deleted them, put my phone in sleep, put it ba, dialed agaihrough that loop one more time, then shut my eyes and smmed the call button. By dial towo I was ready to hang up, but the call got picked up before dial tohree.

  “Hello, Dr. Diast speaking?” Diast said, not sounding at all tired.

  “H-hi…” I said, my mouth drying up. “Dr…Diast.”

  “Hello? I ’t quite make you out…”

  “It’s. This is Zeta. From today. Zeta Faleur.”

  “Oh, Zeta!” Diast said.

  My voice finally un-dried. I was really doing this phone call and couldn’t turn baow. “Is this like after hours? Is this weird? I don’t talk on the phoo anyone so—”

  “No, you’re totally fine, I’m w on paperwork te tonight anyways. The bit before school starts is my busiest time of year because it’s the overp of doctor and teacher stuff and bh bh. Everything OK with you?”

  “I uh…” I said. “Well I’m fi, the fangs are a bit sore…but that’s not…why I… I start this over? That was bad.”

  “It’s OK,” Diast said. “Take your time.”

  I hen remembered what a phone call was. “Yes, so, I was thinking about Rising Shards,” I said. “Like, I really would rather go to a school that actually help me with this i stuff. And I really want to go…but…the Wildfire Hearts thing if I fail.”

  “Keep in mind that’s just if you like pletely and catastrophically bomb the semester,” Diast said.

  “So it’s totally possible…” I said. I wasn’t like audent. I very well could pletely and catastrophically bomb everything. “I ’t go to Wildfire Hearts.”

  “Now, I don’t want to pry, but is this a like ‘I hate their uniform and don’t want to go to Wildfire Hearts,’ thing or is this a ‘Genuiimately ot do Wildfire Hearts for personal reasons I don’t o disclose’ thing?”

  “The, uh, sed one.” Diast didn’t respond for a beat too long, and I suddenly blurted it out. “There’s someone I ’t see again, and she goes to Wildfire Hearts…and I ’t…”

  I couldn’t hide the guilt in my voice as I trailed off. I knew Diast could hear it too. I thought she was going to yell at me or resd the school offer.

  “You don’t have to say any more than that.” Diast said.

  Part of me was just like “Actually DO say it, say everything about Jeans. Tell someone.” But I couldn’t. What Dr. Diast said surprised me.

  “It’s OK to let people go to give yourself a future.”

  I pulled the phone away from my fa preparation for any g sounds because tears were already streaming.

  “Yeah.” I said with the phone back, managing to not sound super g-y.

  “If you do go to Rising Shards, I’ll do everything I to make sure you don’t have to even think about Wildfire Hearts.” Diast said. “You have my word.”

  I croaked out a “Thank you.”

  “Are you OK?” Diast asked.

  I nodded again. “Y-yeah.”

  “I don’t need an aonight,” Diast said. “And if you need more than a week to decide, that’s cool too. I was just pying hardball because I do think you’d be a fantastic addition to Rising Shards. Now I do have a mountain of paperwork to get to, so I will leave you at that for tonight.”

  I told Diast goodnight ao bed feeling a bit floaty. I had a big cry that night, but it was a cathartie.

  The m, I marched right up to Stel as she made breakfast.

  “I want to go to Rising Shards,” I said.

  Stel was surprised at my assuredness, but didn’t tell me no. She did say she wasn’t toug another sheet of paper she’d have to fill out that week, so we’d have to wait to get things really official. But I could wait. Because I was going to Rising Shards. And I was going to do whatever it took to finish that Benta Schorship. I wasn’t going to blow this ce to finally move forward.