I finally lifted my head up and turo see Oka sitting on her bed, her face a bit red and her hands firmly csped.

  “H-hi, Zeta,” Oka said.

  “Hey…” I said. “I know they said we have to talk about this, but if you want, we just never speak of it again like all the other dumb, embarrassing stuff I do. And I think…I’d like that best, maybe?”

  The silehat followed was agonizing. I couldn’t read Oka’s face either, so I stayed frozen, feeling my stomach sinking, lips about ready to start bleeding from my fangs biting into them.

  “That doesn’t seem fair to you, though,” Oka said.

  “Fair? I’d be ing out of that great!” I said. “We could just put all the freak outs we both just had beside us and move on.”

  “I dunno,” Oka said, her words ing my stomach. I didn’t want this to turn into a fight or anything, but I suddenly felt like I did before Jeans turned a versation from tolerable to bad times. “Hey, wait wait!”

  “What?”

  “Nuh uh,” Oka said, burying her fa her hands for a sed. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

  “You didn’t do anything,” I said.

  “No, I made you think of her,” Oka said. “And I’m sorry. How we steer this away from that? But while, also still talking about it. Because I think we should talk about it.”

  “Why, though?” I asked. “’t we just call it a big stupid by me a go?”

  “But it wasn’t that!” Oka said. “That’s so not fair to you!”

  “I'm not getting what you mean by fair here,” I said.

  “I mean…” Oka said. “How is it fair that I got to see you…like that. Even just for a sed or two, and you don’t get anything?”

  I blinked maybe like fifty times in two minutes before I could muster a response.

  “Wait, WHAT?” I said, almost swearing I could hear my brain gears grind and then like explode as I tried to prehend that. Oka blushed furiously immediately, and I robably super red as well.

  “You…liked seeing me…like that?” I said.

  “I mean, I freaked out, sure,” Oka said. “But…we’re dating. Even if this is a little early, well, a lot early, you’re still…someone I want to…” She coughed. “See like that, you know? Down the line, wheh discuss it a proper boundaries, et cetera et cetera…”

  I struggled to catch up. I knew Oka wasn’t Jeans by any stretch, but once we started dating some of my default reas to partners had e back.

  “I guess I’m just fused,” I said. “Jeans never reacted like that to me at all. She never really said much about how I looked other than ‘cute.’ Sometimes. So I’m kinda…scared, I guess.”

  “Aw,” Oka said. “Jeans really sucked, you know? Every hing you tell me about her still surprises me. So I’ll try to be patient as we work through that, because we’re a team. You’re incredibly patient with me despite my upbringing hang ups, so I should obviously offer the same to you.”

  “Th-thank you,” I said. “I’ll try to get over my Jeaions, so you don’t have to stress.”

  “Deal,” Oka said. “And you know what else?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “If this is stemming from a worry about how you look, or about how you think I think you look, really, don’t worry. Because.” Oka stopped, her voice sounding like her mouth had gotten dry. “I uh…stare at you. A lot. Before. You know.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. I never even noticed her staring before.

  “Not in like a creepy way! I hope not, at least. I mean, you’re cute and part of why I freaked out is because I think you’re…I’m like.” Oka grabbed a pillow and screamed into it for a sed then blurted out a rapid-fire fession. “I’m very attracted to you and IstareatyouallthetimeevenbeforeweweredatingandIthinkyouhaveaveyrattractivefigure andI’mreallybadatsayingallthisbutIhavedefiaredatyourbuttbeforelikeereatthepoolthatoime andsometimeswhenyou’rewalkinginfrontofmeandIshouldprobalbystoptalkingnow—”

  Oka froze, as though she’d just hefted off a twelve-ton boulder she’d been carrying around, but that boulder also had evidehat she stole from a bank or something.

  “I got some of that, I think,” I said. “So I’m…not like a sewer monster or something?”

  “No!” Oka said. “You’re…I think yeous! Mesmerizing! I don’t even have the words for it! That’s why I don’t think it’s fair! Because I got to see your body, why should we just…” She lost track of her words and sighed. “We’re dating, right? I think we should take things slow, obviously, but…I don’t think it’s a bad thing if we…I don’t know what I’m saying. Help me.”

  “It’s not bad if we have intimacy,” I said. “I think that’s what you’re saying.”

  “Yes!” Oka said, g and pointing to me. “That’s it! Exactly!”

  “I think I’m just scared,” I said. “You won’t like dump me if I turn out to be like a…freakish sewer monster, let’s say?”

  “You won’t, and I won’t dump you for that. You could have a like grotesque little alien mutant creature that could only speak in Jecruible swear words stig out of your bad I’d still love you.”

  “Aww,” I said. “That’s like the and grossest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

  We were both burning up from embarrassment, but for me it felt like I had also dropped a twelve-ton boulder I had beeing.

  “And if I’m bad at…stuff, would you be mad?” I asked.

  “No, because I’ve never done anythiher!” Oka said. “I’ve read like health books from thirty years ago! That’s my experience! We learn it together. And again, I want it to be fair for both of us.”

  “You keep saying fair…what would make this fair for you?”

  “I mean…” Oka started. She alternated fidgets with her neckd with her wrist cloth. “If I was gonna say what we’d have to do to deal with this little…i? I guess? I’d say I’d want it to be even.”

  “You…mean…” I said, my brain still slowly rebooting. “You’d wanna…?”

  “Just for a sed or twht?” Oka asked. “I could just like…turn around and lift my shirt up so you could see my back. You know?”

  “They’re gonna be ba here any minute!” I said. “They probably hear all this, too…”

  “Nah, and if they do, I just drop the shirt back down.” Oka said. “Unless I’m overstepping! Or…you don’t want to see me.”

  “No, no not that!” I said. “Definitely not that. we…crack the window open? I’m…very warm all of a sudden.”

  “I’ve been warm for a bit here,” Oka said. She got up and opehe window, but made sure the shades were still drawn and weren’t gonna blow open. Theuro her bed.

  “It’d only take a sed or twht?” Oka asked. She inched closer to her bed, kneeling on it like I did. My heart ounding in my ears. Half from the stress of the potential busting in of our friends, and half from staring at Oka kneeling on her bed turning back towards me.

  “But…if they e back when…” I said.

  “Here, I have an idea.” Oka said. She got off the bed, grabbed something from the ground, and darted into the bathroom.

  “O-Oka….?” I asked.

  “One sed!” Oka said. I could hear the sink running for a sed.

  “What are you…?”

  After a few minutes, Oka came out in one of her sundresses. It looked like she had spshed water in her face to cool off.

  “See?” Oka said, twirling a bit in front of me. “Then if they e back, I just flop it back down and turn around quick.”

  “Are you really gonna…?” I asked, my eyes widening.

  “Betcha Jeans would never do anything like this, huh?” Oka said as she wi me.

  “Not in a trillion years,” I said.

  “But that’s the st thing I’ll say about her tonight,” Oka said. She turo her bed, and it looked like it dawned on her what she was about to do.

  “So, are you ready?” She asked quietly.

  “Y-yeah,” I said. My voice was even quieter.

  “Alright,” Oka whispered, and climbed on her bed and k down. She turned her bae aated a sed longer before pulling her dress up. My heart skipped a beat when I saw she wasn’t wearing anything u. I could only see her back, and just a bit lower with her p the bs. I knew she was strong but seeing her back muscles like that gave me nereciation for that. Her skin looked so smooth, and the curvature of her spine and hips made her look almost like a sculpture. In the brief moment, my eyes traced her up and down. I looked at her with the same wonderment I had stargazing in a quiet field away from any city.

  “You look…” I said. “Incredible.”

  “Thanks,” Oka said as she dropped her dress back down. “That’s what I thought about you, too.”

  Oka sighed. Not in anguish or from exhaustion. Just relief.

  “I ’t believe I just did that,” Oka said. "Oh. Zeta. You got a little..."

  She gestured to her nose. I didn't even realize the slight nosebleed I had until she poi out.

  "Oh, s-sorry," I said, getting a tissue to my nose. "It's...pretty dry in here, you know?"

  "Yeah, exactly," Oka said.

  We both started giggling, half from nervousness and half from all the pressure being released in short order.

  “When my night started out like it did, I really didn’t think it’d end up here.” I said.

  “That’s the be of dating me,” Oka said. “I’ll always keep you guessing. But in like, a good way.”

  “For sure,” I said. “Now, we’re even, right?”

  “I think so. Unless you wanna…see a bit more?” Oka said. She giggled for a sed as she teased lifting her skirt up again, but there was nervous anticipation in her voice. “I did teically still see more than just that. We could make things even…evener?”