Chapter 3 I want you to return now

  Fu Peilan returned home when it was already past four o'clock in the afternoon. At this time, Fu Peilin had finished work and was lying in her mother's room watching TV. Meanwhile, Fu Peiqi, who was preparing to retake the exam next year, had borrowed review materials from a classmate and returned home, sitting in the courtyard reading books. When she saw her twin sister return, she glanced away for a moment, muttered a greeting, and then retreated back into her own room.

  The small courtyard where the Fu family lived originally housed three families, with a public kitchen and five rooms. The Fu family occupied two large houses, one for Grandma Fu and the other for Mr. and Mrs. Fu.

  Later, Fu's children were born one after another. Mr. Fu converted one of the large rooms into two small ones. He and Mrs. Fu lived in one room, while the other was given to their two sons and Grandma Fu. The remaining large room had a big kang (heated bed) built, where the four daughters slept together.

  A few years ago, Grandma Fu passed away. Fu Pei-ning and Fu Pei-ru both got married one after another. Mother Fu thought it was a waste for Fu Pei-lan and Fu Pei-yao to live in such a big house, so she mobilized Father Fu to renovate the only big house again. In this way, two large houses were converted into four small houses, with each of the two sons occupying one room, and the two daughters sharing one room, which was just right.

  "Has Pei Shan returned?" Grandma Li carried a basin out of the house and saw Pei Shan standing dazed at the door. A hint of sympathy arose in her heart. Among the six children of the Fu family, this young daughter had the most miserable fate. When her father was alive, things were slightly better, but now that he's gone, she has no one to rely on, and who knows what the future holds?

  The people living in the small courtyard were all old neighbors who had lived there for many years. Li Nainai could be said to have watched the Fu children grow up, and a few years ago when the Zhao family's economic situation improved and they moved away, the remaining two families, the Fus and the Lis, felt like they had added a revolutionary sentiment to their relationship. Both families' economic conditions were very limited, so neither looked down on the other. When Fu Dad was alive, he was kind and could control Fu Mom, although Li's daughter-in-law had had two verbal spats with Fu Mom in recent years, but overall they still got along. However, since the pillar of the Fu family passed away, Fu Mom lost her restraint, and over the past six months, she had already quarreled with Li's daughter-in-law countless times over trivial matters, causing Li Nainai to develop some prejudice against the Fu family in her heart, and also feel a little more sympathy for Fu Peishan, who was bullied by Fu Mom every day.

  Thinking of the child being knocked unconscious by her own mother yesterday, Grandma Li sighed in her heart. What a pity for such a clever and agile child to look dull now, wouldn't she be stupid from the beating? After thinking for a moment, she beckoned to Fu Peishan and handed her a piece of pumpkin from the basin.

  "Good kid, have some pumpkin, I just cooked it."

  Fu Peilan took over the pumpkin and squeezed out a smile, softly saying thank you.

  Mrs. Li glanced at the Fu's house, saw that Mrs. Fu hadn't come out, and hastily leaned in close to Pei Lan's ear, saying in a low voice, "Just now your mom took advantage of Pei Yao buying vegetables to go into you two sisters' room and rummaged through it, don't know what she grabbed and ran out with."

  Fu Peilan's heart skipped a beat as she thought of how her mother, Fu, had taken advantage of her and Feng Xiao being out to secretly destroy her admission letter in her previous life.

  Hurry and Grandma Li nodded, quickly ran back to her own room, and indeed saw that the admission notice she had hidden in the cabinet was gone.

  "Haha……haha……" Fu Peilan shook her head and smiled lightly. How could she be foolish enough to think that this life would be any different? In her mother's eyes, apart from her son, was there even a place for this daughter of hers? No, perhaps there was, otherwise she wouldn't have been so grief-stricken after her death. But this kind of emotion probably only erupts when something is lost, and the living are often neglected. Fu Mama, with many children, her maternal love had long since become vague in birth after birth. Now, in Fu Mama's eyes, she was probably just a loss-making goods that didn't need to be invested in anymore. If she could squeeze out a bit more residual value, that would be even better.

  In 1989, Qingcheng University began to implement a tuition fee system in its first year, but it was only symbolic, charging two hundred yuan as tuition fees. After enrollment, there were living allowances and monthly meal ticket subsidies of 30 kilograms, which was enough for her to eat as a girl, and saving a little might even have some leftovers. Therefore, studying herself did not consume much household expenses, but her mother tore up her admission notice in order to let her start working early to support the family and satisfy Fu Peiqi's personal desires, causing her lifelong tragedy.

  Even if she regretted it later, what's the use? The deceased is gone, and her regret cannot bring back her life. She didn't understand why heaven let her come back, but she knew that in this life, she absolutely must not escape weakly again. A letter of admission, a few words of blame, a temporary humiliation, were absolutely not worth giving up her life - this was the conclusion she drew from twenty years of lingering on her sickbed.

  "Xiao Lan, you're back?" Fu Pei Yao wiped her hands on her apron and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at her sister with concern. "Did you go to the hospital for a check-up? Is everything okay?"

  Fu Peilan wiped her reddened eyes with her hand, took out the fifty yuan from her pocket and put it into Fu Peiyao's hand, saying softly, "Third sister, I'm fine, here's your money back."

  “Didn't you go see a doctor?” Fu Pei-yao asked with a surprised frown, then thought that her sister was probably reluctant to spend money and quickly said, "Last month our factory organized a spinning competition, I got third place and won thirty yuan. I didn't tell mom, I secretly saved it up myself. You don't have to save for me, I still have money on hand."

  Fu Peilan saw her sister's misunderstanding and shook her head, saying, "I'm not sick, I just got beaten up and my heart doesn't feel good."

  Fu Pei-yao took a deep breath and carefully put away the money, "Then you rest for a while, I'm cooking now, we can eat soon."

  "Third sister, I'll help you." Fu Pei Lan got up and followed Fu Pei Yao to the kitchen. If there was anyone in this family that she felt indebted to from her past life, it would probably be only this gentle-tempered third sister. Because of her momentary impulse, she had caused this sister who had once treated her with kindness to shed tears, which made her feel guilty for not living up to the sisterly love Fu Pei Yao had shown her.

  Watching Fu Pei Lan skillfully tie her apron, chop vegetables, pour oil, and stir-fry, Fu Pei Yao couldn't help but laugh and say, "Little Shan has really grown up, her knife skills weren't this good before."

  Fu Peilan smiled and said, "Practice makes perfect, when there's no one at home, I often cook for myself too."

  In her second life, although her body was not good, she had a mother who loved cooking and had been influenced by her for many years, and she had also developed some pretty good skills.

  In this life, since Fu's father passed away, Fu's mother often took her children back to their maternal grandparents' home for meals. As Fu Pei Lan got out of school late and it was too time-consuming to run to her grandmother's house, sometimes she would just cook something simple at home as dinner, which should be a good enough excuse to dispel Fu Pei Yao's doubts.

  As expected, Fu Pei Yao's eyes drooped in distress as soon as she heard her sister say that. Whose high school student still has to cook for themselves every night? Little Shan is so obedient and sensible, why can't their mother see it?

  "Oh my, you two wastrels, what's with the fancy dish and so much oil?" Fu Mama exclaimed when she saw the two stir-fried green vegetables swimming in oil on the table.

  "Mom, it's really delicious, I didn't know Xiaolan had such skills." Fu Peilin smiled and scooped two mouthfuls of food into her own bowl. When her mother cooked at home, she would try to save every bit of oil from the vegetable leaves, when did they ever have such a fragrant dish?

  "Let your mother fart!" Fu's mother glared, pointing at the dishes on the table and scolding, "Can't you see how much oil is in this dish? You two dead girls don't know how much bean oil costs per catty? These were all bought with great difficulty using money and oil tickets. This bean oil can last our family for two days! If everyone wasted like you, we wouldn't be able to survive, the whole family would have to go beg on the streets!"

  "See what mom said, our family is not so poor that we can't afford to eat bean oil?" Fu Peiyao smiled and looked at her younger sister with a strange gaze. Xiaolan had kindly gone to the kitchen to cook, but instead of getting praised by their mother, she got scolded. If it were in the past, she would have probably gotten angry and stormed out, but today she just sat there as if nothing was wrong?

  Fu Peilan quietly held her rice bowl and ate her own food, while Fu's mother muttered and scolded her for being a spendthrift. Having lain in bed for twenty years, she hadn't learned anything else, but how to control the fluctuations of her emotions was something no one grasped better than her. Now thinking about it, it really wasn't worth it for her past self; this mother of hers had always been like that, never yielding to soft or hard tactics.

  She loves her children, but this love is differentiated by gender, personality and future. Although the previous self does not show on the surface, in fact, there is some strong competitiveness, always wanting to suppress Fu Pei Qi, a younger brother, to prove that Mother's preference for his brother and dislike of himself are short-sighted and lack foresight, which also makes Fu's mother even more dissatisfied with her originally favored youngest child.

  The more Mother Fu didn't care about her, the more wronged she felt. Obviously she was smarter and better than her younger brother, so why couldn't anyone except Father and Third Sister see her good qualities? And all her efforts only made Mother Fu feel more heartache for her brother and more disregard for her own existence.

  Fu Peilan put down her bowl and chopsticks, "I'm full."

  Fu's mother was scolding with gusto, when she suddenly saw her young daughter getting up to leave with a calm expression. She became furious: "What's wrong with you? You're not happy now? I've spent so much oil on you and you won't even let me say a couple of words? Not earning a single cent but still recklessly wasting things, how did Lin Yuping give birth to such a shameless daughter like you? Always loafing around at home, do you think that by staying at home I can afford to send you to school? How selfish are you? Clearly knowing that our family is poor and can't afford it, yet you still force your parents to let you study. You're already so big but still eating the widow's hard-earned money, aren't you ashamed?"

  "Who paid for you? The tuition fee of Qingcheng University is low, and I can earn it back by working hard myself. Besides, there's a living allowance, so I don't need you to spend a single penny." Fu Peilan thought that after twenty years of self-control, she could respond calmly to her mother, but now it seems that the heat is still not enough. It's also true that she was originally a hot-tempered person, and this nature wouldn't change with the passage of time and deliberate control, so being calm was just hiding her true nature.

  "But I raised you until you were seventeen, spending countless money and energy. Are you going to repay me? You're already seventeen, and in two years you'll be married off. If you don't repay the kindness of the Fu family now, when do you plan on doing it?"

  "I'll pay you back as soon as I graduate from college." Fu Pei Lan said coldly.

  "Pay me back now!" Fu's mother scolded, "I'm not working, and only your older brother and third sister are working. Is that enough to support the whole family? Look at what we're eating every day! I've been going to your aunt's house for meals and being ridiculed by your aunt. You have no shame, just staying home and eating idly every day! A big girl like you doesn't know how to work and earn money to help with household expenses, but instead wants to go read books? Do you still care about this family?"

  "What can I do by going to work now? Dad's factory looks okay, but it's not as good as it used to be. I heard that some workers have already been laid off. Why do you want me to go there?" Fu Pei Lan took a deep breath and looked at her mother, "It's because the factory is not doing well and can't afford to keep so many people. You only think about short-term benefits and want me to work there, but have you thought about my future? If the foundry goes bankrupt, what will I rely on for survival? If I hadn't gotten into college, I wouldn't argue with you about this. But now that I've been accepted, I'll be going to the best school in our area. After graduation, the country will assign me a job, and no matter what position or salary it is, it will be far better than the foundry. Why do you insist on stopping me?"

  Fu Peilan never understood her mother's thoughts, even if she was biased towards her younger son, but shouldn't she have ruined her daughter's future? Her past self only saw her mother's bias and knew how to express her dissatisfaction with fierce words and angry emotions, but now she wants to dig out the things deep in Fu's mother's heart and see what she is really after!

  The author has something to say: Today is Qixi Festival, wishing everyone a sweet love and happy family.

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