DetectiveRed

  Who calls at twelve o'clock on a Saturday? I grab my phone off its charger.

  "Turn that racket off!" Mum screams from the living room.

  I answer, not even bothering to check who’s calling. I can tell them I'm not interested and go to bed and avoid my family by being asleep.

  "Hey, Percy," Max says.

  "What do you want?" I ask. She doesn’t seem to understand the concept of ‘I’ll stay away from you’ very well. I don’t want to deal with her.

  "Wanna get lunch. My shout."

  "What?"

  "Exactly what I said. Do you want to get lunch with me?"

  "Why?" I know how she’s going to respond, but I want to see what she says. I could just ignore her. I could just hang up now. But Saturdays are the worst.

  "I'm worried about you," she says. She's lying. She could have chosen something more convincing, but it’s kind of sweet she’s pretending. "You took the fall for everything yesterday, and I'll be honest, I'm not okay with you being seen the way you are."

  "I'm touched, really, Max. But don't worry about it. I'll be fine." As much as I’d love to get out of the house, walking around town with me would destroy her reputation. Even if I don’t like her, or want to be around her, I don’t want her isotion on my conscience.

  "That's total bull. I've got my car. We could go to a town over. Portnd has some great fish and chip pces, and you don't have to worry about running into anyone." The yelling from the lounge room about the cricket is enough to drive me mad.

  "Are you sure?" The next town over is still pretty close, but she seems intent on this.

  "Yeah. What's your address?"

  "Meet me at Macca's?" Knowing my appetite, it would be better to eat before. Max not knowing where I live is a bonus.

  "Okay. Meet up in an hour?"

  "Sure."

  What's the worst that could happen? Assuming this is an excuse to talk about the body swap, I probably won't have to do or say much; she'll question why it happened and I'll say I don't know. Eat some food, convince her to leave me alone, and then get dropped off in town to waste the rest of the day.

  I throw on a shirt, some pants, my jacket and make it out the door without anyone questioning where I'm going. It's hot, but not a problem. I get to Macca's quickly, get something cheap to eat, and start waiting for her to show up.

  Server Mum: I'm meeting up with Max.

  BunBun: Good girl.

  Server Mum: Stop that. I'm a guy.

  BunBun: Good girl.

  The teasing hits me differently after st night. It shouldn’t. I don’t have time to panic about what boiled down to a bad dream made reality.

  Server Mum: You suck.

  BunBun: What changed your mind? You seemed dead set on avoiding her st night.

  Server Mum: She offered to take me out to lunch. I needed an excuse to leave the house.

  BunBun: Are you hoping to patch things up?

  Server Mum: That's not happening.

  And it isn’t going to. Max has friends. A life. Things to look forward to down here. She left me behind and forgot about me and realistically I’m not sure I’ll be able to deal with her or anyone else from here once I get out. It isn’t something I should hold against her. It’s not her fault, but it’s not going to change. I’m over wishing things had turned out differently. In this town I’ll always be Percy. A borderline monstrous figure with a scary face and reputation as a violent man. No matter how quiet I make my voice, no matter what I wear, and no matter how much I try to hide, that won’t change. My clothes smell awful. My posture sucks. Even as I sit alone quietly eating a burger, someone from the school gives me a dirty look. I don’t need Max to suffer with me. I don’t need friends IRL. At least not yet.

  Still, seeing her pull up in her car makes me feel things. Gives me hope. She waves to me.

  "Hey, Percy, good to see you." Her eyes have rge bags under them. Did she not sleep?

  "Hey. Same to you, I guess."

  "Get in, let's talk."

  ---

  I said ‘Let's talk’, but realistically I don't know how to start this conversation. He doesn't seem to mind, though. The countryside passes us by as music pys through the radio.

  Should I start with Kaitlyn's suspicion? Why he was crying? Why he apologised for the swap?

  "Did you sleep at all st night?" he asks. Great. He's taken my job already.

  "Not much. I couldn't stop thinking." I gnce over at him in the passenger seat. His arms are covered in bruises from st night's falls. He doesn't look like he slept much, either. He stares out the window.

  "Sorry to hear."

  "What about you?"

  "I passed out as soon as I hit the bed."

  "You look exhausted, though." His hair's a mess and the small glimpses I get of his eyes show dark grey bags.

  "This is just how I look."

  "So you aren't okay. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" I want him to open up. Like at all.

  "No, I really don't."

  "Can you tell me why you were crying?"

  "No," he responds firmly. His voice is a tired monotone.

  Time to be an asshole, I guess. If he's not going to tell me what's wrong, I'm going to pry something out of him.

  "Can you tell me why you're called Server Mum?" He looks at me in shock. A reaction. Perfect. I go back to looking at the road.

  "You went through my phone?" His voice gets a little louder. Is it even possible for him to yell?

  "You got a notification. I didn't pry, but I saw it." His face is red. I struck a nerve.

  "It's just a nickname."

  "Is it?"

  "It means nothing," he growls.

  "I didn't say it did."

  "My turn to ask a question." His voice takes on a spiteful tone. "Why did you come up to me? Why are you suddenly interested in me?"

  "I don't know…"

  "You don't know? This could all be over, Max. We could and should just go on and forget it happened." He's mad but still not yelling. If anything, he sounds sad as he stares out the window. "You never have to see me again, and yet you call me and ask to hang out and you're not even sure why."

  "I don't know why your reputation is so awful." That was probably the root of it st night at least. "You were a really gentle kid. And now you get looks whenever someone talks to you."

  "Maybe you should ask Charley,” he says quietly.

  "Maybe I could ask you. You knocked me over, but it wasn't intentional. And when you were in my body, you were shaking like a chihuahua. It's hard to be scared of you."

  He sits quietly for a moment, staring out the window at the sand dunes and the seaside foliage. We are close to Portnd. I take a wrong turn. I want to drive a little longer.

  "I was crying because you acknowledged I was there. It was a mistake to go, but I was able to ignore it until you tried to talk to me."

  "So it's my fault."

  "No. Yes. I don't know. You brought me back to reality. I should have just left after that, but I didn't.” He still isn’t looking at me.

  "And why did you run?"

  "Because I didn't trust you not to tell people I was crying." I want to tell him that's unfair. We've known each other since we were little and he thinks I would do that. On the other hand, I don't really recognise the boy I used to know. He seemed more like that boy when he was crying in my body…

  "That's fair. I wouldn't, though. I hope you know that."

  "I guess. I can't risk a target on my back right now."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I'm going to leave this hellhole. If someone thinks I'm weak, they might try to start something because no one will defend me. If I get a mark on my record for something like that, my chances of getting out plummet. Do you understand?"

  "Yes."

  "I'm on thin ice because of st night. If anything happens, I'm screwed."

  "So hang out with me." If I can get Kaitlyn to warm up to him, maybe we can change his reputation. Or at least make his experience better. Whatever happened between us. Him leaving me behind. Me not reaching out again. We could move past it. This is an opportunity to do it.

  "That is the opposite of what I need to be doing, Max."

  "People are less likely to target you if you're not alone," I argue.

  "That would just paint a target on your back as well. You'd also lose a couple of friends in the process."

  This constant reframing is starting to get frustrating. Acting like this loner act is in my best interest. Like he cares about what could happen to me. Is he that desperate to get away from me? Was it something I did? Or is he just generally desperate to keep himself isoted? He has friends. He's not a statue. So why can't we just work together? We did it so well once.

  "Kait already thinks we swapped bodies."

  "What?"

  "Funnily enough, after we swapped back."

  "What did you tell her?"

  "I told her it was ridiculous, obviously. But she believed you were me in the bathroom. Maybe if she met you, she would warm up to you."

  "She thought I assaulted you," he whispers.

  "What?"

  "Yeah. It's not a good idea, Max. I'm happy to do lunch for old time's sake, but at school it's better if we avoid each other."

  "You are making excuses to isote yourself."

  "You sound like Lee."

  "Who's Lee?"

  "A friend of mine. You're wrong, anyway, and if you're not going to go the right way to the town, could you at least not go in a big circle block. I'm not stupid." I hardly noticed that I’ve done ps of the same couple of blocks.

  "Sorry, I was distracted."

  "It's fine."

  We cruise towards our destination in silence. His loner attitude is bothering me. This pretending that he cares about my best interests while refusing to answer honestly or let me help. Why is he so intent on this? How are we meant to figure out why our bodies swapped if he's as receptive as a phone in a lead-lined box? My body still feels strange after sleeping. Like everything is just slightly wrong. Uncanny. I want to ask him about it, but I can't do that if I know he won't answer.

  I pull into the car park for the café I want to take him to, and it's starting to feel like I have one option. A shitty thing option, but something that might work. If I'm lucky, or unlucky depending on the standpoint. Hell, it probably won’t work. We have no idea what happened or how or if it was a one-off; I could just give us both a concussion. He keeps staring out the window and ignoring me. Screw it.

  "Hey, Percy!" I shout. Startled, he turns around and I sm my head against his.

  I come back to reality in the passenger's seat of my car, with my body sitting shocked next to me. Percy's brown eyes are wide with confusion; his mouth moves in an attempt to ask one hundred different questions. Before he can ask any of them, though, I interrupt:

  "Can you give me my wallet? It's in your jeans pocket." I need to py this cool. If I act like it's no big deal, maybe he won't panic as much.

  "What did you do?"

  "I swapped our bodies."

  "What the hell, Max!" he yells. A couple of seconds in my body and he goes from barely emoting or moving to yelling. Any reaction is better than him continuing to brood. And in my body, the best she can pull off is a pout.

  "My wallet, Percy. We are going to get lunch." I gesture for him to hand it over. The less time I give him to think the better.

  "Like this?"

  "Why not?"

  "I did not sign up for this! You stole my body."

  "And you aren't getting it back until we get lunch, so wallet. Now."

  He hands over my wallet and grumbles as we get out of the car. There have to be better ways to make him acknowledge what happened st night, but this is the only one that would work for sure.

  It also gives me a chance to test something. I stand up effortlessly. Last night, adjusting took several minutes and a dash of adrenaline. Looking down at Percy in my body is surreal. His eyes make him look different enough to me that I can recognise he's cute. Especially with the grumpy pout he's making.

  "You are holding my body hostage,” he squeaks behind me as I march to the door.

  "You're free to try headbutting me if you'd like." At the moment, he's a full foot shorter than me. He won't be able to pull it off if I don't want him to.

  "You can’t do this.” He’s yelling, but it’s not intimidating. He’s stomping and scrunching up his face. It makes me want to tease him.

  "Yeah, I can. Now." I hold the door open for him. "Ladies first." He blushes and walks through, silently.

  The cafe isn't anything too special. The food is nice but cheap. The decor is weird and hippyish. There's weird art and local projects on every wall; it's fun. No one knows that we aren't ourselves, which adds an extra yer of fun. We are ushered to our seats and given menus.

  Percy gets called ’Miss’ a few times and I swear his embarrassment could power a reactor of some sort. His monotone and stone-faced facade have vanished. Maybe he hasn't practised enough with my body. His hands and feet fidget and we sit at the table.

  "You've had your fun, now give it back,” he sounds angry.

  "Did you feel weird after we swapped back yesterday?"

  "No, I felt bruised." His feet pick up speed. I can feel the table vibrating. This is pissing him off. Too bad.

  "I thought it was a concussion, but now I'm in this body, the feeling is gone," I expin. Is he feeling something simir?

  "Good for you.” He’s angry and avoiding the topic. Disappointing. “Now give me my body back."

  "After lunch."

  "This isn't a game, Max."

  "No, it isn't. I'm thinking I want some chips."

  "Max…"

  "Sweetie…" I tease.

  "What?" His eyes widen and his mouth falls open. If I have to tease him into talking, I will.

  "Well, I can't call you by your first name," I whisper. This is probably going too far, but he's not opening up.

  "Fair point. So why don't you give it back."

  "Think of it as a vacation from your reputation."

  "Go fuck yourself, Max."

  "Are you sure you want to say that?" This is too far. I'm a dy. I shouldn't be joking about this stuff. I shouldn't be hitting on Percy, of all people, but for some reason I can't help myself. No one knows that I'm me except for Percy, and he is getting incredibly flustered. It's hard to remember he's a guy that could usually throw me around like a doll. I’m going to pay for this. "I think we should start with some chips."