Warning: This chapter contains allusions to suicide/a literal death wish. Also feels.

  Melissa

  Sitting in the massive dining room, at the upper right hand side of a very long dining table, I couldn’t help but feel a bit out of pce. From the four different forks, to the sommelier in bck and white currently pouring me a cup of wine, everything about this dinner felt too rich for my blood.

  It didn’t help that the dining table, rge enough to fit twenty, had only two chairs: one for me, sitting dead still from nerves, and the other for the dark skinned Countess, who sat with a faint smile on her lips.

  Once the servant was done pouring, he bowed his head stiffly to me, bowed at the waist to the Countess, and then left the room. Leaving us alone with one another.

  Liliath, for her part, took a small sip of her wine, before picking up one of her forks and a knife, and cutting into the bounty on her pte: goose breast and asparagus, with a white sauce, on a bed of aromatic white rice.

  After reciting one prayer for grains and another for miscelneous foods, I did my best to pick out the fork that matched Liliath’s. I’m fairly sure I messed up, but the Countess didn’t so much as raise an eyebrow. She only took the food to her lips, chewed, and swallowed, before moving for the next bite.

  Compared to the quiet grace with which the Countess ate, I couldn’t help but feel like my own attempts at cutting into the bird were clumsy. Liliath had cut into it without a sound, but my knife ccked jarringly every time it hit the pte. By the time I got my first bite done, the Countess was on her third.

  Still, Liliath waited until I finished my first bite before speaking.

  “I hope that you’re enjoying dinner, Melissa. I understand that soirees like this aren’t always comfortable, for those unused to them. That’s most of why I had the servants leave. I had hoped that you would rex with no one watching.”

  “Thank you, uh -" I bnked on the term of address, unsure how to proceed. It was something I should have known, and yet the information felt just out of reach.

  “Lady Liliath will do,” the Countess said, chuckling.

  I sighed. “Thank you, Lady Liliath. But I’d like a lot better if Lonna and Talith were here.”

  “Is that so?” the Countess smiled, faintly. “You seem quite attached to Lonna. You said something about being summoned? Does that mean you came from another world?”

  “I… I guess so…” I admitted, staring down at my goose breast. “I’m from a pce called Earth?”

  “You will have to tell me about it some time,” Liliath said, smiling, taking another bite of her own meal. “The word for dirt doesn’t tell me much about the pce. I’m afraid we have more pressing matters to discuss, first, however…”

  “We do?” I asked, confused. “I’m... I mean, I don’t really get why you even wanted to have dinner with me. I’m not a princess, like I guess Lonna is? And I’m not really the Heroine, so…”

  “Tell me, Melissa: do you know how I came to know Sorissa?”

  “Um… no?” I frowned, uncertain how to process the change in subject.

  “I was thirteen. The Runaway Princess had yet to run away, and the Queen was discussing with my parents an event where she would come to visit.

  “I was… Very different back then,” Liliath smiled, faintly. “Unkempt. Wild. My hair a shaggy mess, because I’d refused to let anyone cut it. My trousers constantly torn, and myself often muddied and dirtied. The result of getting a little too rough with my sword training.”

  The Countess stopped talking, for a moment, to cut another bite sized piece of goose, and bring it to her mouth. After chewing, and swallowing, she continued.

  “I was born to a commoner. My father loved her dearly. Enough to hold a quiet bonding ceremony - do you know what a bonding ceremony is, Melissa?”

  I shook my head.

  “It’s a religious ceremony. A pledging of love. Quite unlike the political handfastings we nobles use, when merging bloodlines through our heirs.

  “Being born of a bonding ceremony, instead of a handfasting, means being born outside the noble line. I was well taken care of, given anything I desired - but I had no status. My blood was seen to be as common as my mother’s. Only my father’s love kept us in the house. When he died, it was likely that we would have been thrown out on the streets.”

  Liliath took another bite of goose, chewing slowly.

  I leaned forward, my own dinner forgotten. “What changed?”

  “...I was chasing after a particurly fascinating insect, in the gardens, when Sorissa called out to me. I had no idea who she was, at the time, but her fancy dress made it clear to me that she was important. So of course, not wanting to be punished, I came when she called.”

  “And she… Made you a countess?” I asked, frowning.

  “In a way. I’m wataba, you see. Sorissa was the first person to see it.”

  “Wataba?” I asked, lips pulling into a puzzled frown.

  “I was born into the wrong body. Born masculine.” The Countess took another sip of wine, as I stared.

  “I was raised as a boy,” the Countess continued, “and to Sorissa, it was pin as day that my form was wrong. As such, she offered to design a spell for me, that would give me whatever form I desired. I accepted - and was transformed.”

  “And… You’ve been transformed ever since?”

  “I’ve been myself, ever since,” the Countess corrected, a small smile on her lips. “As I said, Sorissa was right - I am wataba: an individual born in the wrong body.”

  “You’re transgender?” I knew the word, and the concept, even if I’d never actually met a trans person before. Wataba sounded like a simir concept.

  “Is that the word for it, where you’re from?” Liliath asked. “Apt.” Her smile widened, for a moment, before dropping off entirely.

  “Of course, Sorissa wasn’t done. She asked me next if it would be okay to talk to my family. To reintroduce me, as their daughter. I hadn’t even picked out a new name, yet - but Sorissa insisted that it be done while she was present.”

  The Countess cut into her goose breast, again, but this time did not lift the poultry to her lips.

  “...She took me in front of my family. I still didn’t know who Sorissa was. I didn’t know why my family was bowing. I only knew I was scared. Terrified of how my family would react to the new me. But when Sorissa told them that I was wataba, my commoner mother, my count father, and even his handfasted wife, who’d so far never bothered with me - they all bowed their heads as one.

  “So did my half brother. But he snickered.”

  Liliana lifted the bite of goose shed precut to her mouth, chewing methodically. Swallowing.

  “Is that… did she kill him?” I asked, speaking softly.

  “She melted his head clean off his neck.” I dropped my fork, as the Countess took a forkful of rice.

  “Then she turned to my family and ordered my father to adopt me into the noble line. She said that they had all best get used to the future countess, or that she would be back for them as well. And simply walked out the door.”

  The Countess reached for her wine gss, emptying it in one long sip.

  “...I heard you’ve hated Sorissa ever since. Is that true?” I asked.

  “Hate isn't complex enough to describe what I feel for her. The anger, the despair, and the knowledge that my life turned on a whim of the Queen. They all exist, in ever shifting measures.”

  “How did she know?” I asked. My mouth felt dry. My throat parched.

  “I expect she used a spell. One that gave her the ability to look into the depths of my being.

  “Now ask me how I knew.”

  “How… How did you know?” My heart was beating fast. My fingers were clenched in my p, meal long forgotten.

  “After I was transformed, it just felt right.”

  The words hung heavily in the air, for a moment.

  Then, a small strangled cry escaped from my lips, and the silverware cttered down to her pte. All at once I was sobbing into my hands.

  Liliath stood, walked over to me, and gently stroked my back, a small smile on her features. “It’s okay. None will mock you here.”

  “I… I’m…”

  “Shhh…” the Countess whispered, rubbing my back again. “It’s fine. It’ll be okay. Rebirth is a painful process, I know. I know it better than most.”

  She put her hands on my shoulders. “You can say it. To me first. And then to your friends. We can say it together, if you’d like. Or you can go it alone. But why don’t we practice first.”

  The Countess backed up a few steps, and then smiled. “My name is Liliath Koleff, a countess and a woman. And you are?”

  Smiling through the tears, I looked up at the other woman. “M-Melissa…. Drewski… I’m Melissa Drewski, and I’m… the Heroine.”

  ***

  Lonna***

  “Lonna. How long are you going to y there?”

  I made a noise - something between a grunt and a groan, containing no words whatsoever. Good enough, right? Talith knew me well enough to figure out what I meant.

  “Lonna. You walk in. You throw your cloak on the floor. You kick off your boots. You colpse into bed. And you don’t move for five tree-forsaken hours! At the very least, could you please tell me what happened?”

  I rolled onto my side, just long enough to gre at Talith, before sliding back onto my stomach. To think, I’d thought he’d get it…

  “Come on, Lonna. Did the Countess do something? Did something happen to Melissa? Give me a clue here! Even if it’s just a name.”

  “....Tabitha.”

  “Tabitha!?” Talith demanded, taking a heavy step forward. “What the fuck is Tabitha doing here!?”

  I kept my mouth shut, face pstered against my pillow.

  “...Wait… Your contact…? Don’t tell me your contact was Tabitha?”

  A curl of smoke rose from between my lips in response, a bit of fire forming in my mouth for half a moment before I thought better and extinguished it.

  “Of all the burning - in what tree-forsaken world did you think it would be a good idea to trust Tabitha!?”

  I shifted so that I was on my side, again, and facing toward Talith. “Thought we had something.”

  “Had…” Talith stared for a moment, cy mouth sealed shut, glowing red dots boring into me. “Lonna. You’re talking about a girl who broke your damn antler off!”

  “So? I broke them both off all over again when we had to go back to Ife…” It had taken a lot of courage, and a lot of alcohol, but I’d done it by my own two hands. All so that I could slip into the castle, and get the Heroine summoning spell.

  “I really thought I could change the world,” I muttered, mostly talking to myself. “I thought I could summon the Heroine, and she’d defeat Sorissa, and everything would be great. But I can’t even convince Melissa she’s the real deal… how am I supposed to do something as impossible as making her marry me?”

  “Marry… Lonna. Why the hell would you want to marry someone you barely know!? Not even getting into the fact that you’re a lesbian, and she’s a-”

  “Don’t say it,” I whined, clutching the pillow against my ears. “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Lonna…” Talith’s gravely voice held actual concern as he walked towards me. “What’s going on? I know you’re attracted to how he looks, but you can’t tell me you’re actually falling for him.”

  “Her, Talith.” I turned my head to gre at my brother. “Melissa asked that we keep to she and her.”

  “Yeah. To keep herself from getting noticed. As if there aren’t plenty of wataba who don’t have access to a transformation spell.”

  “It’s what she wants…”

  “But why!?” Talith demanded, voice growing in anger. “Why does she want to be called Melissa? Why does she want to be called she and her? Why would a guy want any of these things?”

  “That’s not our pce to question… People are free to have any gender expression they want. If you start questioning-”

  “You start invalidating,” Talith finished, shaking his head. “You sound just like Vellos.”

  “He did teach me half the things I know,” I pointed out, propping myself up on one arm. “Especially about gender expression. And being born in the wrong body.”

  “And about being a thief,” Talith reminded me. “Damn man’s going to get himself caught one day.”

  “Not if you make an honest man of him, first,” I countered, smiling faintly. “I mean, assuming he forgives you for abandoning him and coming with me to Ife…”

  “He’ll still be ranting about it when he’s old, and wrinkly, and every st feather’s fallen out,” Talith predicted, a small smile on his face. “How I cared about my sister more than him.”

  “Even though you really just didn’t want him in danger…” I pointed out.

  Talith shrugged. “Don’t want you in danger, either. That’s why I followed you. Though if you’re going to pull something as stupid as trusting in Tabitha, it’ll all be for naught.”

  I scowled, and let myself drop back down on the bed.

  …For about a second, before straightening myself up again.

  “Why do you hate Melissa so much?” I asked.

  “...What makes you think I hate her?” Talith asked, not quite meeting my gaze.

  “I mean… You try to push her away at every opportunity you get? You used to do it with anyone I got interested in the vilge, but…”

  “You mean the ones who used to bully you, throw rocks at you, and call you names?” Talith responded, voice taking on a menacing growl. “What a mystery as to why I didn’t want you dating them.”

  “That was when we were kids. And I’ll remind you that you let them do it, when we first moved out there.”

  “...I was… I didn’t…” Talith’s gaze sank to the floor.

  “We were kids.” I shrugged, dismissing it with that.

  “I was fifteen. I should have known better.” Talith’s voice was heavy.

  “You barely knew me. You just saw a stuck up, half dragon princess who’d run away from home. Someone who put you and mom in danger, and caused you to relocate to a remote farming vilge. Which everyone was terrified was going to get wiped off the map, when Sorissa came looking after me!

  “Kids make mistakes. Then they grow up and make new ones. Like sleeping with Tabitha. Or thinking I had something special with Tabitha. Or thinking I could have something special with anyone, when I’m just a half dragon, runaway princess…”

  “Lonna…” Talith started, reaching out a hand.

  I spped it away, gring up at him. “Tell me why you hate Melissa.”

  “I don’t… Hate… Melissa. I just don’t think she’s any good for you.”

  “What, like, romantically? I mean, I’m not going to date anyone who isn’t a girl, so-”

  “No. I mean. To be around…It’s just...” Talith sighed, lifted up a hand, opened his mouth, and then let the hand drop and his mouth close.

  “What?” I asked, leaning forward.

  “She makes you think you can do this. She makes you think you can take on Sorissa, and fight her. She gives you hope - even though she isn’t the Heroine, isn’t a girl, isn’t even capable of fighting. She makes you want to keep going. That’s why I don’t like her, Lonna.

  “Because I think she’s dangerous.”

  I stared at him. “...You think I can’t take on Sorissa?”

  “I think she’s your mother, and you shouldn’t have to. And… also that… You’ve never been able to figure out how to kill her without using the Heroine. Which Melissa isn’t. So.

  “Yeah. I think you can’t take on Sorissa.”

  I stared at Talith for a moment longer, not sure what to say.

  “...I…” Talith started, only to stop when a knock came on the door. “I’ll… Get your cloak.”

  “Don’t bother,” I muttered, putting my feet on the floor and standing up. “Everyone knows what I am already. What’s the point in hiding it?”

  ***

  Melissa***

  I stood awkwardly in front of the door. I was fnked, on either side, by Joanie the rabbit sapphi, and a human guard who insisted on looking straight ahead at all times. Joanie, too, was staring straight ahead, but in her own words it was to give me “a little privacy.”

  A very ‘little’ privacy.

  Still, I gathered up my courage and knocked on the door. After which, I heard muffled conversation, followed by footsteps. It was only a moment before the door opened, but considering the news I had to share that moment felt like eternity.

  When the door actually did swing open, though, I simply stood and stared at the girl on the other side.

  “Lonna you’re…”

  “Not wearing my cloak?” Lonna muttered, crossing her arms. “Go ahead and stare if you want. I’ll even do a spin.”

  Lonna turned about, and walked back into the room, leaving me to stare after her.

  Of course I was staring, though! Lonna had wings! Small, dull red, leathery wings, with a thin membrane stretched out over a bony framework. She had a tail, too; small, thick, reptilian, colored red like her wings.

  Not to mention the fact that her feet looked like a cross between roots and talons, with elongated toes that ended in cws.

  I couldn’t help but stare at her, for a moment, before hurrying in. “I’m… I’m sorry. I mean, I guess if your moms are a dragon and a dryad, that means you’re not human? But I didn’t know…”

  “That I looked like a freak?” Lonna suggested, back still turned to me. “That I’m an ugly chimera, with horrible dragon traits?”

  “...Actually, I think you look beautiful…” I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. “I mean. You’re part dragon! And I’ve always loved dragons, so-”

  “In what tree-forsaken world would someone love dragons!?” Lonna demanded, spinning around to face me at st. “Maybe that’s fine in your confusing little world, where guys want to be treated like girls, but here? In Mistina? Dragons are bad. They’re horrible. They’re evil. And I’m descended from them! Okay? It’s not beautiful, it’s not…”

  “Lonna…” I hesitated for a moment, before getting onto my knees. Now at eye level with her, I reached out a hand to gingerly brush away the tears that were starting to form in the corner of Lonna’s eyes.

  “Lonna. You’re beautiful. Okay? You’re gorgeous. I don’t want you to ever doubt that.”

  Lonna stared at me for a moment. Then, without warning, she leaned forward to press her lips against mine.

  My eyes widened in surprise, but I didn’t pull away. It honestly felt nice - like a warm tingling spreading from my lips, down throughout my body.

  After a moment, Lonna parted, looking down at the ground. “S-Sorry…” She muttered. “I uh… shouldn’t have done that. I don’t even like guys, so-”

  “I’m not a guy.”

  “...What?” Lonna asked, voice barely more than a whisper.

  “I’m not a guy,” I repeated, a small smile on my lips. “My name is Melissa Drewski. I’m a girl. And I guess that means I really am the Heroine.”

  A soft groan of frustration could be heard from Talith, in the background. I didn’t turn to face it, though, too happy to care.

  “You’re…” Lonna whispered. “You’re a girl?”

  I nodded, in response, a happy, if slightly shy, smile on my face.

  Though I still couldn’t help but asking… “Um. Lonna. About that kiss?”

  ***

  Sorissa***

  I sat upon my throne, a small smile upon my lips.

  Before me were three feminine figures - a young woman with blonde pigtails, blue eyes, and a manic grin upon her face. A rotund woman, dressed in yers of colorful silk clothing. And a slightly more mature, rakish woman whose head was decorated with cat ears. All three of them were kneeling before their queen, as was proper.

  “It seems my daughter is after the Scale of Mount Drogone. I want you all to go after them - and ensure they do not get it.”

  Two of the subjects remained silent. The blonde, however, lifted her head, revealing a faint scar that ran from her scalp to her right eye, and from beneath her right eye down her cheek.

  “Thank you for entrusting me with this, Mother," she said. "I won’t fail you.”

  “...Tell me, Kylee. What have I told you about calling me ‘Mother’ outside of designated events?”

  “N-Not to do it…?” Kylee muttered, looking back down at the floor.

  “Correct. And what have I told you about Lonna?”

  “That she’s… better than me. In every way.” Kylee was gritting her teeth as she spoke, the anger evident on her usually manically happy features.

  “Of course she is. She was grown with a seed from my tree, within my dear departed wife’s body. There is not a single piece of her that would lose to you. That’s why I’m putting Dame Belinda in charge of the mission.”

  A feline pair of ears twitched at the mention of their owner’s name. “It will be my pleasure to serve,” Belinda said, their voice and gestures deferential.

  “Of course it will. Or I’ll have Maeve, here, py with your heart until you’re practically begging me for a torture session. Now. Off with the three of you.”

  The three bowed their heads, then stood and filed out of the room.

  I smiled as I watched them leave, but the moment they filed out the door the smile dropped from my features.

  “An abandoned toy, a scheming knight, and my personal inquisitor. I know it wouldn’t do to make things too difficult, but I do hope this isn’t going too far in the other direction… If I don’t challenge Lonna properly, I don’t expect she’ll ever grow.” A small smile touched the corners of my lips, then dropped away.

  “Being a parent is hard, Arasitelle. Making the people of Respiran hate me - that’s easy. And fun. But making Lonna despise me…”

  A small sigh escaped my lips. “Losing Nadell hardened my heart. Losing you shattered it. And now it’s like someone is stomping on the pieces.”

  I shook my head, forcing a smile back onto my lips. “Ah, well. An immortal queen does what she must, for the chance to join her loved ones.

  “Not that I believe in the Valley, of course. But if it truly is a pce where all our mortal mistakes are forgiven… I hope to see you both soon, my loves.

  “I hope to see you very soon, indeed.”

  EmilieEmber