I’m getting away with the crime of the century sitting in an unused small conference room in a rarely used part of a resort hotel. It's a little warm and stuffy, but I’m wearing a white linen suit. If you’ve never worn one, everything feels like a breeze in white linen. I've been a guest here for about a week, along with some crew, and right now we are getting away with the crime of the century.

  I notice the door open and quickly get back into character.

  “So, you have been vacationing at The Grande Villa Seaside resort for a week, is that right?” an overweight, and obviously out of shape, policeman says as he walks in, he didn’t even look up from his notebook.

  “That's correct, officer …”

  “Pederas is the name, and I’m a captain,” he huffs, as he sits down, finally looking up, getting to the point with “Where were you when the diamond disappeared?”

  It all started with an article about a man finding the Midnight Diamond in his dead dad’s trunk, it's the largest diamond ever found in North America and was famously stolen—and never recovered—by a notorious 2nd story man, Murph the Surf—a stupid handle yes, apparently he got it during a heist in Miami where he paddled in and out on a surfboard, or so they say, and ‘they’ usually lie. That missing diamond is the ultimate status symbol for every villainous dictator, sheik and supervillain wanna-be on the planet. One of those hired our little crew.

  Me, my handle is Tumblers, I have connections and I work locks—and look good doing it. I run this crew, of which we have a rotating list of light-touches who have skills, and long resumes, that would keep every detective within forty miles up nights if they knew any of them was near. For this job, I only needed two.

  Blacklight, she is a specialist with chemicals and a disciple of the Seven Bells techniques of . She-pocketing, she can rob you blind and you won’t notice anything but her eyes.

  Safetyboy, he is our tech and sets up comms and impromptu listening devices. He can also hack any computer he can see—and even some he can’t see.

  The news said that the diamond was to be auctioned off at The Grande Villa Seaside Resort in two weeks. Safetyboy helped some people lose their reservations via a “website glitch”. One of those was for newlyweds—so sad.

  If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

  The diamond would be flown in and transported, by truck, to the resort with a full security escort. The resort has a lower level vault that is guarded and impenetrable. I’m not thinking about tackling impenetrable, that’s for big crews, I was looking at how they plan to move the diamond in and out of ‘impenetrable’ and we found several leverage points during the transport, specifically the elevator to the main level, the backroom for the auction, and of course the post purchase. None of this looked good.

  Checking the other guests to the resort, a name stood out, “John Gold”. I know him as Jack “two-finger” Gold. He was a listed bidder. Two-fingers is good, but he is more of a bank guy, not a “stones” guy. But if he is a bidder, then I will bet that he will be in that purchase room to inspect the diamond after purchase.

  Blacklight stole a replica of the Midnight Diamond a year before, just to make sure it wasn’t the real thing—it wasn’t. We want some of her Seven Bells tricks.

  Safetyboy will coordinate the surveillance, power, and communications. We need him to take out the cameras, halt the elevators and ?make a lot of noise with security if we need it.

  At the resort, we are set up for the big night. Safetyboy now knows the routines and the protocols for security. Blacklight has lifted security cards and room keys. We were ready.

  That’s when Two-fingers spotted me, came up and sat at the bar and said “You ain’t getting it Tumblers” and then walked off.

  The evening of the auction, Blacklight rolls through the crowd like a hoover, scooping up billfolds, wallets, and dropping them in a trashcan we place near the ladies. Nobody is using cash here, anyway.

  I use a keycard to get into a service area and work my way back into the interior of the resort's main building. I can hear distant gasps and applause.

  “He won the bid. Get into place,” says Safetyboy—sounding like his mouth was half-full of fake cheese puffs.

  I step into the room. Jack sees me and yells “thief!” as the lights go out.

  I’m out of the room fast with the genuine diamond, and pass it off to Blacklight, who says “Neptune, poison ivy” a phrase, and I know it. She turns while walking away and says with a smile, “also, I emptied the trash into Gold’s room.”

  I look up at the police captain and look as sincere as I can—which is quite a bit.

  “Sir, I was in the crowd, and I think I had a billfold stolen from me!” I said with a little exasperated flair.

  “Everyone did, we are pretty sure it is this guy Gold, but he doesn’t have the necklace” he said.

  He waved me out after getting contact details and verifying my identification. I pass Blacklight, and nod. I walk past the fountain with its marvelous details, so many smaller statues around the feet of Neptune. Fish, clams, chests and sunken ships, some rocks and between the legs in the back, a small sculpture of an urn, wrapped in poison ivy.

  Waiting in line to have my person and luggage searched, I pull out my phone and verify my reservation for next month, an artists' convention.