For close to forty years, Aeron’s mother had kept him deeply connected to the river than ran through their village.

  His whole life, it had been where she had nourished him with the river’s strongest wheat, its sweetest berries, and its ample fruits. The river had been where his mother had washed him when he was small, where she’d brought him to play with his best friend Ako, and where she’d always cleansed him after a long day of exploring at the forest’s edge. Today was different, in every which way - his mother was no longer here, and neither was the river.

  Aeron walked down to the riverbank, a shovel in one hand, and his makeshift cane in the other. His vision was impaired as his eyes were filled with tears, and his glasses had been broken when we was attacked in the forest yesterday.

  He approached a small plot on dry riverland. On that plot stood three oak saplings, each symbolising those from his family who’d passed - his wife, his father, and his grandfather, Aeron. This is where his mother had chosen to bury those she loved, in the place she had the deepest spiritual connection to. In spite of the river’s dire state, he felt it was the respectful thing to do to bury his mother here, with her family and with the river.

  The land treated him with the same respect in turn. As he thrust his cane into the earth and began to dig a plot next to his late grandfather, the soil yielded obediently and swiftly with each move of his shovel. It was only when he struck the river’s bedrock that Aeron finally relented, collapsing to the ground in grief. He let out a lonely wail. He’d dug a sufficient depth, but digging was a cathartic physical outlet for him. He grew frustrated knowing that he couldn’t just keep digging.

  Aeron threw his shovel into the dry river. It made sharp clangs as it bounced across the rocks, filling the sonic void where the raging river’s torrent had once surrounded him. He laid out both palms across the grass and ripped it out, screaming. The ground forgave him. It pulled him closer into its warm embrace, the beat of the earth’s core resonating with Aeron’s own heartbeat. It felt comforting, large, swaddling, like a mother’s embrace. He let out a desperate wail deep, deep into the earth. And again. And again. The earth felt his pain. Its dirt seeped into his scar. It was soothing, numbing the tingle he still felt there. He felt the earth soothingly whisper to him to let his pain flow, to let it absorb his pain for him, for it to sink deep below. The earth reassured him that it would always be there for him throughout all of his pain, and no matter what pain he caused to it. It would always recover, and always forgive.

  Aeron recoiled from the ground upon hearing the voices, sweating and panting. This was unnatural, he thought. It was nothing like what his mother had taught him, or rather how she’d taught him. He grew cold thinking that the land had this power over him, rather than him having power over it. Even so, it’s not like he’d done anything for the land that made him deserving of its love and healing, especially after all of the herbs he’d stolen from it without offering anything in return. He rationalised that it was likely his own mind telling him things - that made the most sense to him as an scientist, especially given the tremendous grief he was going through.

  As he sat back up, he looked up at the oak trees. The largest one grew above where his grandfather was buried. Wise, sturdy. It stood guard above the two smaller oak trees that grew above where his father and wife rested. Those two were similar in size - they’d both passed away soon after one another from illness. Illness that surely Aeron could have prevented, if only he was better. He only made it through those two rapid, tremendous losses because of his mother. And now he’d lost her too, again because of his own stupid mistakes. And the river was gone now too, again because he’d dedicated no time to solving it. And Ako was missing too, because he’d asked him to join him in the forest. It was all his fault.

  He regained what little composure he could at this time and traced the length of the river. Where once a raging torrent flowed, and then a black, murky trickle bled - there was nothing. The water had stopped coming entirely. His mother had put the blame on the forest people. Aeron wasn’t so sure. He had a vague understanding of how the water flowed down the distant northern and western mountains, through the land, and - he guessed - back up into the sky into rain, like boiling water. But these were just his theories, not sure knowledge. His theories did not predict the fast and total elimination of the river. He suspected something else must be at play. He hoped that Fern’s youthful energy and inquisitive nature would help him figure out a solution, when he had time to focus on anything beyond finding a cure for the village’s many sicknesses. And he hoped - no, he prayed - that Ako was safe.

  Aeron jumped as he heard slow footsteps squelching behind him. “Deryn…” he exclaimed as he looked behind him. “Please don’t sneak up on me like that.”

  Deryn apologised. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He took a seat in the grass next to Aeron, wrapping him in a warm embrace. “How are you feeling?”

  Aeron welled up with tears again. He just shook his head, unsure how to communicate his feelings. Deryn ran his strong hands through Aeron’s hair. “It’s okay. You don’t have to know how you feel right now.” Aeron clutched to Deryn’s leg and buried his face in his thigh.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to go on like this Deryn. There’s no point. I’ve failed mum, I failed Ako, I’m failing Fern and the village and everyone.”

  Deryn pulled him closer. “It’s okay.”

  Aeron sniffled. “I just don’t understand anything anymore. I’m trying and I’ve tried but I just can’t. I don’t know what’s going on and I hate not knowing what’s going on.”

  “I know. You’ve always been that way.” Deryn looked at the treeline, reminiscing of all the times he’d taken Aeron out to hunt. “Look over there.”

  “Why?”

  “Just do it.”

  Aeron rolled around with a teary pout to look at the forest, still lying in Deryn’s embrace. “Do you remember when I took you out for our first hunt? You were so eager that you got on my horse without any safety gear,” Deryn giggled. “You didn’t wait for me to get on before you took off, but you barely made it past the first line of trees before the horse kicked you off. You told me you never wanted to go into the forest again.”

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  Aeron sniffled, and curled his arms around Deryn’s thigh. “Yeah. But I liked you and wanted to spend time with you and hunting is all you do.”

  Deryn chuckled. “Very well. But from what I see, you grew to like it. You didn’t become an adept hunter, but you became an expert in gathering herbs during all of our ventures. That’s something no one else here can do safely, not even me, except Ako after you taught him. You’re very talented and have a natural connection with the land. And it’s helped tremendously since the trades stopped.”

  Aeron rolled up to look Deryn right in the eye. “You could just say you like me back.”

  Deryn smiled, then planted a kiss on Aeron’s forehead. “Of course I like you.” He rolled his fingers across Aeron’s cheek, wiping away his tears. “And I’m worried about you. You’re prone to frustration, but you’ve always had a can-do attitude and positive outlook. I’ve never seen you this … broken.” Deryn’s voice shook, and he looked as if he were about to cry. Aeron had never seen him cry. Deryn had seen Aeron cry many times.

  Aeron took in a deep breath. “It’s just all too much to handle.” He pulled Deryn’s arm across his chest. “I’ve been attacked, resurrected, my mother has just died, the river is dead, Ako is missing. Forgive me if I seem a bit off.”

  Deryn held him tighter. “All I’m saying is I’m here for you. Always. As I know you’d be there for me.”

  Aeron burst out into tears again. “I don’t know if I will be here though, Deryn. I thought my mother would be here forever and she’s gone. I thought the river would be here forever and it’s gone. Ako has been with me my whole life, and now he’s gone too. I was almost gone. Everything can go instantly and arbitrarily or because of our mistakes despite all of our hard work. I’ve tried my hardest and it’s all failing because of me. It’s just not fair!”

  “No, it’s not fair. You need to be easier on yourself though. The world hasn’t been fair on you, but you can be fair on yourself.” He hoisted Aeron into a sitting position. “Your mother is still going to be with us. Right here,” he patted the earth near the plot Aeron had dug, “and here,” he said, pressing into Aeron’s chest. “Afon will live with us, and in us, forever. You are the literal manifestation of her legacy. Not only as her child, but also for what she did to you yesterday. You have your whole life ahead of you to make a better impact in the world. That’s what she would have wanted from you.”

  Aeron sniffled. “How?”

  “How what?”

  “How do I make a better impact in the world?”

  Deryn looked around them, first at the treeline, then back at the village, then at the mountains in the far north and far west, the across the vast eastern and southern plains. “Your mother said this world is much bigger than our village and the forest. She’s probably right. I mean, Eira comes from a far off land. Ako is still out there too, and I’m sure he’s hoping that you’ll use your brains to help him get back home. There are probably a lot of people out there who are hurting, but I guarantee you there’s not another you. This world needs your smarts, your brains,” Deryn smiled at Aeron, “and your beauty.”

  Aeron rolled his eyes, then blushed through tears. “I thought you’d rather keep that last one all to yourself.”

  “Hey, I’m not an insecure man. If there’s anyone out there who can compete with me, then I welcome the competition-“

  Aeron shoved him. “And your point is?”

  “My point, darling, is…” Deryn tried to smooth his tone so as not to offend Aeron. “You feel guilty. You feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. If you want to do right by this world, by your mother, you would try and make amends for what you think you’ve done.”

  Aeron raised his eyebrow. “Are you suggesting that I try and restart the trade with the forest people to make amends with them? With what food?” Aeron gestured to the barren riverbanks. “Or that I go back into the forest to find Ako by myself?”

  “I don’t really know what I’m suggesting. You’re the smart one in this relationship. I’m just the good vibes guy.”

  Aeron chuckled, and fell back into Deryn’s lap playfully. “Well you’re certainly holding up your end of our covenant in that respect.” Aeron looked up longingly at the sky. “Realistically though, I think the real covenant is long gone. Between Ako and I raiding for herbs, mum’s magic, your hunting, and the trade breaking down, I don’t think there’s much room for reconciliation and healing.”

  “Gloomy…” Deryn said sarcastically, slightly offended that Aeron blamed him. Deryn was just trying his best to contribute to the village. He was sure Aeron didn’t mean it.

  “I’m being realistic. But I think my attack and mum’s death and Ako’s capture are the tip of the iceberg. I think we should be preparing for greater strife ahead. But you are right - I’m sure there’s a way we can help Ako still.” Aeron looked Deryn in the eye, then away quickly. “Deryn, can I confide something in you?”

  Deryn’s heart rate rose, worried that Aeron was about to dump him. “Always.”

  “I genuinely think I’m going crazy with all of this stress. Just before, I was lying right here, and I could’ve sworn I heard the earth speaking to me. It was calling me, summoning me into itself. What do you think about that?”

  Deryn chuckled. “Like I said, you’ve always had a natural affinity for the land. That’s just your hunter instinct speaking to you.”

  Aeron shoved Deryn. “I’m serious. I heard it. It terrified me. I don’t want to hear it again. It’s not natural.”

  Deryn caressed his hand. “Look, I’m not one for smarts, or anything beyond hunting for that matter.” He looked up at the oak trees. “But you are in this deeply spiritual place. Your ancestors are buried in this land. Your love is buried in this land. And soon we will lay your beloved mother to rest in this land too. Personally, I’d find it unnatural if the land wasn’t speaking to you here.”

  Deryn gently pressed Aeron’s hand into the soil. “You were born here. Your ancestors were born here. Your daughter was born here. Her children will be born here, and, gods willing, so will ours. This is your land. Your river. Your blood runs deep within it, and it within you. If you hear it again, I don’t think you have any reason to be afraid. It loves you and it’s always here for you, just as I am, and just as I always will be.”

  Aeron looked over at his hand, pressed deep into the soil by Deryn’s. The smell of dirt and grass shifted to one of mud and moss. He looked at Deryn’s gesturing at the oak trees, and the shadows that his fingers cast. First with wonder, then with sadness, then with terror. His mind shot full of images of that pale haired woman swinging down at him from the trees. Her bare feet kicking him to the ground. Her hand pressed against his into the mossy forest floor as she took a knife through his face, his life in her grasp. The earth unwilling to soothe him then when he was pressed deep in its mud and his best friend was lost to the woods, screaming.

  His body immediately went into flight mode. His heart rate soared as he jerked himself free from Deryn in rage and panic.

  “You’re not listening to me,” Aeron exclaimed, tears and blood shooting through his eyes. He was panting uncontrollably. “Forget it, it was a mistake telling you.” He picked up his cane, leaving his shovel in the river. “I’m going back to the village. I’m going to make sure we’re ready for whatever comes next because of my fuck ups. And I’m going to get help to find Ako. I’m not losing anyone. Not again. I’m not losing anyone ever again!”

  As Aeron stormed off, Deryn sighed and went to retrieve the shovel. He waited until Aeron had surely left before returning to the village himself. Whilst walking back, he thought about everything that Aeron had said, but he was particularly confused about the “tip of the iceberg” line.

  “What the hell is an iceberg?” he asked himself.