Looking up from the ground at those damn double doors a bead of sweat rolls down my face.

  My breath slowly steadying.

  Breathe, Mercury. Just breathe for a moment.

  Alright, what the fuck just happened?

  Also where am- I'm in front of this building again . . . Huh, the sun is back to being in the sky, far from setting on the horizon.

  Slowly reaching my hand up to my face the uniform I once wore no longer dons my body, but that simple shirt from what feels like forever ago seems to have taken its place.

  Feeling my face a sigh of relief flows out as I touch my nose and mouth. Ignoring the unsanitary action I bring my hand down with care.

  Did I regress again? But why? Why to here? How?

  My heart rate accelerates and sweat beads as I start to think.

  All I did was go to tell him I re . . . gressed.

  My thought completes as realization takes sinister hold. Whatever caused my regression refuses to let me tell anyone, with the punishment being the sinking, all consuming feeling, of being ripped away sense by sense from this world until all that remains is a husk that can not even breathe to survive.

  My body shivers, as I try to think of a plan, of something I can do.

  . . .

  Alright, Mercury, Focus.

  IF this is the "ability" I have than do I have to die if I want to use it? Or was it a one time thing and whoever, no, it certainly had to be HIM. Fucking asshole god thing, whatever he's called.

  Anyways, was this just a punishment for trying to tell someone? Is this 'regression power' gone unless I tell someone? Is that my only way back now? Or will trying to game the system just result in something far worse . . .

  Either way, I'd rather now suffocate again. Terrible experience.

  Though he did say I would be an incarnation of his, whatever fantasy powers that gives me. Maybe I should try learning illusion magic? Illusions always kind of suck though . . .

  Pressing my hand into my forehead with more force than I'd intended to causes slight pain as I shift to rubbing my temples trying to clear away the headache starting pulse through me.

  The pain reminding me of the beating I'd received barely 15 minutes ago. To all those terrible memories that preceded my death.

  That fucking bastard.

  All those pieces of shit.

  Shaking my head the thoughts do not leave me, I can't get their laughing faces out of my vision.

  I have to get stronger.

  . . .

  Hah, am I going to turn into one of those angsty edgelords who seeks revenge against those who wronged him in his previous life, aren't I?

  A twisted smile blooms on my face as I accept my role, my body still shaking in 'anticipation' of the revenge I shall procure.

  But first I need to start small.

  Yes, for my first act of revenge I shall slaughter those wolves in the forest. Arrogant bastards.

  Low tier mobs like that should go down easy, but dying isn't really on my list of things to do today. After all this, may be my last returnal. A shiver flows through me at the thought but I suppress it.

  I need information, luckily I know a certain annoying librarian who is apparently 'at the top of the ladder'.

  All I need to do is show I know she does poem's and like an NPC seeing a quest item she'll fall for the bait.

  All I'll need to do after that is-

  "Excuse me, you're blocking the way" A curt voice reaches my ears as my expression contorts into a snarl.

  "I'm TRYING to think, stop FUCKING INTERRUPTING me!" Ragged breaths come out of my mouth as I turn towards to the annoyed young man in front of me. His widening black eyes staring right through me. Like I'm just some damn obstacle.

  Suddenly everyone is staring at me. A even hear a chuckle from that annoying elf who scammed with her fruit.

  Throwing a glare her way, I drag myself away.

  Fucking bastards, the lot of them.

  A disgusting expression forms on my face as I start to run. Avoiding the group to the best of my ability.

  The less I interact with these pe-NPCs the better.

  Licking my dry lips my heart pounds desperately in my chest and the feeling of it being poked and prodded flows throughout my entire being.

  Legs burning, a pain shooting through my side, the whipping of wind slamming into my flesh over and over again is my only reward as I finally arrive in front of that building I wandered into in my previous life, only to fall down with my exhausted flesh. Slamming my knee hard into the stone path causing a scrape.

  "Why me? Of all the miserable people in the world why'd it have to be me?!"

  . . .

  But no answer called back to me.

  I truly am alone in this unjust game.

  And so I began to laugh, but the disgusting sounds get tangled in my throat.

  Suddenly a feeling of watched creeped into me, a feeling I'd grown all to familiar with throughout my life.

  No matter what world I arrive in I can not escape such a fate?

  But as soon as the feeling arrives, it leaves.

  Leaving me all alone once again.

  Slowly picking my body of the ground I fill myself with anything I can grasp onto, anything to light my inner fire.

  Revenge, Hate, Despair. For a moment I forget the pain and creak open the door in front of me.

  A forced smile and wide open eyes are the mask I wear for this quest.

  Opening those double doors into that massive empty room that somehow remains bright I immediately notice something is out of place.

  One of the five hallways is has light coming from it.

  So things have already changed? What an inconsistent game . . .

  Wearing that smile on my face I make my way towards the light, perhaps it's like a quest marker of sorts?

  Yes, that must be it!

  My leg stings as I put more pressure on it, so I once again slow my pace as I make my way towards the rightmost hall.

  My heart beats rapidly in my chest as I prepare myself.

  Rounding the corner into the hall I see a long path with many gray doors. Each bearing a nameplate to the side.

  Looking at the closest it lists something I can read, but can't understand.

  "OCNS 3" What is that supposed to mean . . . My hate falters for a moment as sheer confusion passes through me.

  An agony pulses through my flesh threatens to cease my forward movement, causing me to forcibly reignite that fire under myself.

  Taking a shaky breathe I steady myself-

  "Who could this one be? Exploring so vacantly, no outfit in sight?" Pointed words stab into my side as I rapidly turn my head. The cart pushed by the short elf possessing a few books upon it as she makes her way down the hall in my direction.

  "A-ah, hello there! My name is Mercury, I was simply looking for some information, and I heard this is the information wing so I assumed . . . " Trailing off and looking downwards in false embarrassment I try to hide my anger at failing to remember I had to pick up a fucking uniform.

  "Wandering unknowns Is a dangerous pastime. Be more careful brat." Turning my eyes up towards her she just staring at me with those damn eyes.

  Dammit this was supposed to be easy, why the fuck isn't she speaking in poems? Though her language is weird as hell. (1)

  "Of course Miss, I will be in the future! Though, I really could do with some information at the moment. Haha."

  My body shakes I remember those bloody memories. Don't forget why you're here you body snatcher-

  My eye twitches slightly.

  Her damn eyes move towards mine and somehow for even I brief moment even I don't see laughter in her gaze.

  "How this child's heart aches and moans, his false face melting like snow. As a teacher I must insist, you tell me what put your mind in a ditch. For perhaps a path I could show."

  . . .

  Ha, that was a Limerick.

  All I have to do is call her out on it.

  . . .

  My blood bubbles in my chest as a cracking feeling starts to take hold of my entire being.

  What the fuck would an NPC even know?

  What the HELL would she even DO?

  I can't tell a soul, I can't do anything, I can't move a muscle without burning myself to ashes, I can't do a thing.

  I'm [Nothing] after all.

  . . .

  No, Mercury. Don't break character, she's just offering a quest line to me.

  Before I can return to reality I feel something press into me.

  Its warm.

  Turning down a mop of gray hair that sparkles like silver I see the librarian.

  I see the librarian hugging me.

  For a moment I hear a crack in my mind. I suddenly feel the urge to push this woman away, to throw her off my body.

  That would be easy, she's so small after all, but her small frame reminds me of-

  But after considering my options for even that fraction of a second my arms grow weak as I silently stand there.

  Silently in that white hall, somehow not alone.

  "You wouldn't understand. You can't understand. I-it's-"

  "Then don't say a word. Don't make a single movement. Just rest for a time."

  "If I stop, I don't think I'll be able to start again you know." A shaky and warped expression appears on my face as she looks up with pink irises reflecting my twisted and messy mask that desperately holds back my suffering.

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  "A young boy in pain, I'd thought him insane. But his madness a fire, formed to push towards his anguished desire, even though they were his chain."

  My body shakes but she's got me in a death grip at this point.

  "Those chains hold me up," at least that way I won't hit the ground.

  Hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

  "Do not lose yourself . . . " Her expression pauses for a moment before taking a step backwards. My legs rigid and unmoving. My body paralyzed. "I offer you a job child, take the role of aid."

  Ah.

  There's my quest.

  I'm certain that serving as a librarian's aid will lead me to a large collection of information.

  I can just quit when I get my information anyways.

  Yes, that's right. I can just quit when I get what I want.

  B-but mabye getting information on this new world would be good anyways.

  "I-I accept." With one big nod of her head and a soft smile she waves her hand for me to follow her slightly down the hall. Towards a slightly ajar door near her cart.

  "This room is stocked. Let us move onto the next, your task awaits there."

  Walking towards the next door on the other side of the hall I follow.

  Only for her to raise an eyebrow and point at the unmoving cart.

  Crap. It's my first day and I'm already fucking things up.

  Jogging towards the cart my leg stings a bit but I power through. I'm in the middle of a quest, I can't afford to break down and collapse.

  Pushing the cart with tons of gigantic books on it I push it through the now open door, spying the name plate as CLDA 1, for whatever that means.

  "Traveler's guide to the Home of Magi, by Rose Everland," looking at 'the librarian' what even is my bosses name . . . her eyes glaze over as she says the title of the book.

  Weird, also that was nothing like a poem . . . Guess she's just as much as a weirdo as I am then . . .

  My lips quirk upwards involuntarily as my cheeks flush slightly in embarrassment for still not knowing her name.

  Snapping myself out of my daze as she still seems to be looking at nothing I start looking for the book she's talking about as I ask a question that will help me improve relations with my boss.

  Vital to completing this quest . . .

  "S-so, I can't really refer to you as just 'boss' all the time, so uhm, could I know how I should refer to you as?"

  "I do hold a name, Ms. Sabio for you child. Angela for friends."

  My eye twitches slightly, hah. My expression darkening as she turns towards me.

  Guess I was right. She really is just some NPC-

  A surprisingly light slap rings throughout the room as I sputter, w-what?

  "To lose yourself in your mind, to run and leave reality behind? This childish fool tried to run, the moment a cloud blocked out the sun, when instead it was a mountain to climb."

  "We just met, stupid, I'm also your boss, student." Shaking her head lightly, "Future paths are dreams,"

  My heart nearly stops in my chest as I think back to that bastard who ripped my defense away from me.

  The power to substitute myself with a character I had once perceived.

  Now however, I am doing the same thing, just with a version of myself that has yet to exist until I metaphorize into them.

  I bring up my hand to my cheek as it lightly stings.

  I deserved that.

  I've been acting like a huge bitch to someone who doesn't even know who I am. Someone who offered me a job and a hug when I felt like shit.

  My body trembles a bit as the last vestiges of this self delusion try to melt off my mind, causing the dam to creak horribly in my heart.

  Swallowing down the feeling along with some bile I focus.

  "Sorry."

  I-I still need that information. I still need to hunt those wolves.

  Yeah, I need to get those bastards back for everything.

  While my thoughts stir her sits pulls out a chair causing me to finally look at the classroom in front of me, and it's nothing like I've ever seen before.

  A pristine blackboard, a wooden podium at the front, countless cupboards at the side of the room, maps, quotes, several rows of slowly elevating desks with soft rolling chairs behind each of them. Two sets of stairs passing through the middle across the soft purple tile across the floor and gentle blue walls.

  As I stare amazed at such a nice classroom I look down towards the book in my hand.

  "Here it is Ms. Sabio" she sighs as she takes the book and places it in a small cubby under the podium.

  "I've been rude to you. A certain question is due, what is your name child?"

  Didn't I already-

  "I thought I already . . ." her eyes bore into me, as if prompting me to answer her question.

  If only it were that simple.

  "It's Mercury. Just Mercury." She pauses for a moment then shrugs, taking me to a few other classrooms and putting away different books which all seemed to be penned by Rose Everland, whoever that is.

  Four other classrooms in total and five books combined.

  RVZN 1, Traveler's guide to the Bloodied Tundra.

  VCVE 1, Traveler's guide to the Nature's Hearth.

  SLZR 1, Traveler's guide to the Great Land of Mysteries.

  Then finally, OCNS 3, which has two books. Traveler's Guide to the Golden Ocean, and Insights of the Primordial Plane.

  By the time all the books were delivered I'd nearly forgotten my original goal, but that final spark still remained.

  Following Ms. Sabio outside of the building with the empty cart I realized where we were heading.

  Towards an absolutely gigantic tower.

  Stopping dead in my tracks I look up towards the behemoth already feeling wobbly.

  "Assistant why the pause? Ah, has my tower stricken you with awe?" Looking down towards the smirking woman her head is head high as she haughtily explains her position to me again.

  "My position was obscured and unseen, now I go to reveal my scheme, the head librarian is me, now you see, I may as well be your queen!"

  Again the sheer absurdity of what she's saying breaks me away from my spiral as I just stare with my jaw dropped.

  She lightly laughs as she makes her way towards the tower, that somehow seems ever so slightly less scary now.

  To absolutely massive doors present themselves in front of me after a bit of a walk, though for her a skip- without any handles upon the door.

  Holding her hand against the door it lights up with what I can only assume to be magic runes that ensnare me for a moment as I'm reminded this world has a power system of some kind (that I still don't understand!) and it begins to rumble and creak open.

  Inside the absolutely massive tower is a breathtaking library that is somehow much larger on the inside than the already gigantic outside.

  Spiraling staircases, lifts of all kinds, and many, many, MANY, bookshelves stocked to the brim with different books of varying sizes.

  A simple desk at the front with a bowl of something, chair, alongside a black tablet of some kind.

  Going over the chair and practical tossing herself onto it she swivels it towards me with a smile while waving me over.

  Taking out a small dark purple card with the words 'Assistant Librarian' written on it as well as a rapidly modifying square that seems to be turning into my face with my name written under it, she starts to speak again.

  "That's all for today. I'll work you hard tomorrow, rest up assistant."

  Wait, what? That was barely even an hour?

  Her calloused hands that somehow I'm only noticing now dip into the bowl and into the pocket of her blouse.

  Taking an electrum card with four strips of gold on it and handing it to me.

  Holy hell that's a lot of money for doing basically nothing.

  Her other hand handling something soft inside a wrapper that she passes to me.

  "Children like candy . . . I dearly hope so student, It's from my homeland."

  Opening the wrapped its a soft green ball. Popping it into my mouth its sweet like chocolate but also has a subtle sourness that tickles my tongue. I wouldn't say it beats out my favorite candy back home, but its still really good!

  I'm certainly hungry enough to enjoy it after all.

  "Thanks Mom."

  I dumbly mutter like a fucking idiot.

  My breath hitches in my throat as I horribly ruin the path I started to walk.

  I finally meet someone who seems to be nice to me than more than 10 seconds and I just destroy it?

  I ruin everything I-

  A soft hand touches my shoulder as she sits on the desk in order to give her so more height. Her arms wrapping above my upper body as the creaking dam cracks.

  "I miss them so, so, much. I just-"

  I sputter and shake as tears falls from my eyes relentlessly, soaking this poor woman who still barely knows who I am.

  "My mom, my dad, my brother, and I don't think I'll ever see them again and I just- I can't I don't know what to do. Who to be, how to survive, It's just-"

  Pressing my face into her chest I sob, as my heart beats rapidly before my voice turns to wailing.

  The only way to stop myself from telling her about how my regression is to scream in this very moment.

  I don't want to lose this relationship.

  I don't want to lose this life.

  I don't want to drown alone.

  I don't want to die.

  I got serious writer's block for this chapter because writing crash out's is hard AF.

  In all seriousness though I've been super busy with school, though you guys have a big meal today!

  Happy (slightly late) Valentine's day!

  Sincerely, Mag