Stepping over the threshold to my rundown shack, I stared at the dilapidated walls and rough worn floor with almost perverse glee. It was time. Now, on this most auspicious of days, I Ushio Tenma, will no longer live in a crap shack. My time was nigh. A new dawn awaited, and in the morn, I will suffer no more rats.

  "That means you Archibald! Get the fuck out!" I yelled at a rather large, fat rodent who hissed at me before fleeing. Where he went I haven't a clue. Hopefully back to his own rat dimension.

  I wouldn't be so upset about the little buggers if they could teach me ninjutsu, but so far, the only skill I've learned from them is first aid. Because goddamn are their teeth freaking sharp.

  Did you seriously name that thing Archibald?

  "Some day he shall be the king of rodents, and during his coronation ceremony, he shall thank me for gifting him something that no rat has ever had before."

  You do realize people have pet rats right? And that they name them?

  "Hush Sarah. I must concentrate on the task before me," I say, opening up my menu. I let out a little, manly giggle at seeing the new option. Clicking on it, I was surprised when a video started playing.

  Do you live in a rundown shit hole of a house filled with rats, roaches, and reprobates?

  I watch as the video shows a home, much like my own, filled to the brim with cockroaches. And then those cockroaches are being eaten by the rats. And then the rats are being eaten by the reprobates. Ok, so not exactly what I'm dealing with, but you have caught my attention good sir.

  Well, good news! You have unlocked the brand new, ultra deluxe edition of, "Fix my Fucking House Already!"

  The video shifted. It was the same house but with less survival of the fittest and more of an actual, livable house. The floors were redone and didn't look like they'd give me splinters when I woke up to take a piss in the middle of the night. The walls were painted and clean, not a single speck of mold or blood to be seen.

  I couldn't wait to get started.

  With this, all your dreams of living out of squalor may come true. The only real question is, what will your dream home look like? Will it be a castle? A log cabin? A sci-fi penthouse with sex robots? The possibilities are endless!

  The video showed each option. A castle sounded pretty good. Not sure how the local populace would react to a castle suddenly springing up out of nowhere, but I might be able to start a cult with that option, so it was something to think about.

  The log cabin looked cozy, but I don't live in the snow covered alps, so it didn't really fit the city vibe. As for the sci-fi penthouse… well it certainly had some interesting qualities to it.

  Nothing to do with the sex bots, I assure you.

  So what are you waiting for! Click on the tutorial button to get started and make all your dreams come true!

  "That's one hell of an infomercial," I say with some amusement, before doing as suggested and going through the tutorial. Honestly, it wasn't all that complicated. I had several options I could choose from and a preview mode so I could check it out before wasting my hard earned moolah.

  Once the tutorial finished, I received a brand new Quest.

  -New Quest-

  Pimp my House

  You have unlocked a new feature of the System which will allow you to renovate your house to your heart's desire. As long as you have the money of course. Fix up your place of residence so people will actually want to come over.

  Changes made (0/5)

  Rewards

  -Reputation increase with city

  -Reduced chance of dysentery

  -Increased chance of sexy time

  -Reduced feelings of shame and embarrassment

  -Gain 100 Exp

  Failure

  -Reputation decreased with city

  -Increased chance of dysentery

  -Reduced chance of sexy time

  -Increased feelings of shame and embarrassment

  Accept?

  [Yes] [No]

  You know, I wasn't sure what I was expecting from the Quest, but dysentery was not on the table. Whatever. With a sigh, I accepted. Why not? If nothing else I get 100 Exp and an increased chance of getting laid. And with a girl moving in, that was probably a good thing.

  So now, it was time to see exactly what my new home would become. But first, I wonder if I should install my new water heater? That should be a priority so I have hot water. Hiyori will probably appreciate it as well. But where even is the thing? Come to think of it, where's the breaker box? I haven't seen it.

  The water heater is in a space inside the wall in the bathroom. There should be a panel you can open. But you can just use the renovate tab to change it if you want. You won't get any skills for it, but it's way faster. As for the breaker box, well… it's under the house.

  "Why is it under the house?" I ask. That just didn't make any sense. Who would place it under the house? I can't see someone doing that unless they were trying to fuck with whoever lived there.

  …

  "...You put it there to fuck with me, didn't you?"

  Sorry…

  I sighed once more. "Whatever. I can change it with the renovate thingy, can't I?"

  Yes sir!

  "Problem solved. Now, let's look at the water heater, shall we?" I opened the tab and scrolled until I found it. I could see the old one and it was a rusty piece of shit. Literally, that was its description.

  Old Water Heater

  A rusty piece of shit that will get you a lukewarm rinse and that's about it.

  -Durability 2/6

  Upgradeable

  Jokes on you asshole, I don't need to upgrade you. You're replaceable. Now, after clicking on it, there was an option to allow me to swap it with something else. So I found my pilfered treasure, and swapped it in. No more cold showers for this guy!

  Actually, with Hiyori moving in I might need to take more cold showers. But now it'll be by choice!

  Basic Water Heater

  Will do its job. Provides 30 minutes of hot water. Don't enjoy the shower too long. ;)

  -Durability 11/12

  Upgradeable

  Bitch don't tell me what to do!

  Ahem, anyway, with that now installed, I can enjoy a nice hot shower for as long as I fucking want to. Or at least for 30 minutes. But with that done, it was time to move on to more exciting endeavors.

  Like picking out a brand new floor!

  Looking at the options, the first one was just to fix my Basic Floor, which would cost 5,000 Yen. Not bad. It would at the very least save my tootsies. There was also a Sturdy Floor, which increased the floors Durability by 50 and gave it damage reduction of 10% for 10,000. The max Durability for the Basic Floor was 50, so that was a pretty good improvement.

  Those two were the only real ones I was considering, as it only got more expensive form there. I could add carpet, which I didn't want to do, but other than that, I need to save my cash for all the other improvements I need to make.

  Sure, a marble floor would be nice, but not for 200,000. The cement floors seemed cool, in both a style sense and a literal sense, but they were pretty pricey as well. I could add heating to any floor for an extra 50,000, so there was that too.

  Moving on, the options for the wall and ceiling were pretty much the same. Fixing the walls would cost 5,000 as well, which would come with a basic paint job, but only in white. I could choose a different color for an extra 1,000 or wallpaper for 2,500. There were more options of course, such as crown molding, shiplap, brick, wood panels and all sorts of things but none of that seemed necessary in such a small home.

  It would be funny as hell though, to walk inside this tiny place only for it to look like the Taj Mahal or Buckingham Palace. But I think I'll just get them fixed and maybe add in a paint job.

  For the ceiling it was much the same, only there were options to add various lighting, like a fan or making it recessed, but that option seemed unnecessary. The fan was a maybe, as it gave me some options, but it added 3,000 to the budget.

  So for the basic package, we were up to 15,000 Yen. Not too bad, left plenty of room for other things. But now let's see the options for the kitchen.

  The first thing to look at was the cabinets, because they looked like they were about to collapse at any moment. I was kind of scared to chop food on them, to be honest. And the pattern repeats, with fixing the Basic Cabinets costing 5,000. Nice to know they're consistent. And honestly, that's all I need.

  Next was the countertop upgraded. Now as nice as getting granite would be, the short answer is no, not unless I rob a bank. Which I probably could do, come to think of it. I can just leave my body and sneak inside in spirit form and yeet the contents of the vault into my Inventory.

  It was basically foolproof. They would have no way of knowing it was me. And then I could have all the granite countertops I want!

  But until then, I should look at more affordable options. Let's see, the ones I have now are basically laminate sheets glued on with cheap glue, so they were peeling off. Apparently, the me before I was me thought it would be a good idea to staple them back on.

  He was very wrong. What a dumbass.

  Now while they would work just fine all fixed up, I did like the option of the thick laminate countertops that mimicked the look of luxury. And that upgrade only cost 5,000, making it 10,000 in total. Not bad, not bad at all.

  Next for the kitchen were the appliances, but I already stole most of what I needed. The only thing that might come in handy was a dishwasher, but it wasn't a priority. I mean, if I do them myself, I can upgrade my Dishwashing Skill! How could I possibly turn down an opportunity like that?

  Pretty easily, actually, but not sure if I wanted to spend the cash. I could get one, but that would be another 5,000 added to the list… Maybe, but it wasn't a priority. I'd rather get a nice, new sink with a deep bowl and an extendable spray thingy. That was only 3,500.

  But while I'm thinking about it, I might as well install the rest of my ill-gotten gains. I replaced the old stove, the microwave, the toaster, and the coffee machine. And this is why stealing things is important, because that just saved me several thousand Yen.

  But I bet you'll never see that lesson on a PBS show! Kids need to learn these things!

  Anyway, with an idea for the cost of the kitchen, I moved on to man's most sacred domain, the potty. Since the walls, floor, and ceiling were all connected, I didn't have to worry about a separate charge to fix them in here, so that means I can focus all my money on the important things. Like where I poop and remove the stink of the day.

  Not with the same facility, in case you were wondering. I'm not an animal.

  Let's see, getting a new Basic Tub would cost 5,000, as per usual, but I could also get a walk in for 10,000. Now while I prefer a simple walk in shower, I was about to play host to a lady, and she might appreciate being able to have a nice soak.

  And not just her, but any lady who happens to pop in for a visit. Like Tatsuki. Or Rukia, whenever she shows up.

  It's important to take care of your future harem.

  Ignoring the peanut gallery, I started checking more bathtubs, with my eye on one with a jacuzzi. It was pretty pricey, costing 25,000, but it might be worth it. If not, I can always get some bath salts and massage oil.

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  Next was the toilet, which only cost 2,500 to fix her up. But let me tell you, that heated cushioned seat was just begging to be purchased. But whoever designed this must have known it would catch my eye, and that's why they made it so damn expensive.

  Don't they know I'm just a poor boy who wants to have a nice, warm ass when he takes a shit? Cruel fates, why must you taunt me so?

  After that was the bathroom sink, which came with a small medicine cabinet. A two for one deal for the low, low price of only 5,000! How could I turn that down? The options beyond that weren't many, at least not for a small bathroom like mine, but I could upgrade the counter and cabinet space for 1,000 each, which might be a good idea with my new roommate.

  The final thing was the outside. Fixing that mess would coast a nice 10,000, with another 5,000 for the roof and 2,500 for the window. I don't need energy efficient windows, as I don't pay for the electricity. So who gives a fuck how much energy it wastes.

  I can ignore the outside look for now, but the broken window and the roof are kind of important, so that was 7,500 Yen of must haves. Now, what else do I need to consider…

  Right, a T.V! I have a hot date with a tomboy coming up, and I need a killer entertainment system to make sure she gets the best experience. So let's check the prices for new televisions.

  It can't be too small, but it doesn't have to be giant either. Hm… Oh, what's this? Something on sale? Looks like a 55 inch with a stand for only 7,500. I'll just put that in the cart.

  Now if we're going to be watching a movie, there has to be something to sit on. Snuggle time is important. Luckily, my time as a thief is paying off once again. Taking the couch, chairs and table out of my Inventory, I arrange them in the corner opposite of my bed.

  The couch was in front of the window, with the coffee table in front of it. One of the chairs was on the far wall right in line with the table, and the second chair was on the opposite side of that. I can then place the T.V and stand on the final side of the table, facing the couch.

  Perfect, I now have a nice little recreational area. It was almost enough to make me cry. Now, let's see what my total is for the necessities and we can go from there. I have just over 90,000 yen, but I'd like to have at least 10,000 left after this. So let's see…

  The basic set for the walls, floor and ceiling bring the total to 15,000. Next is the kitchen cabinets, which is another 5,000, bringing the total to 20,000. Now for the bathroom. 5,000 for the tub, 2,500 for the toilet, and another 5,000 for the sink and medicine cabinet, bringing the total to 32,500. Finally there was the outside, with 2,500 going to the window and 5,000 for the roof, making the total expenditure 40,000.

  That covers all the basics. And with the T.V, we're looking at 47,500. That gives me a little wiggle room. I'll have to think about it, crunch the numbers. And may God have mercy on my soul if there are sales taxes.

  There aren't.

  You're spared from my wrath this time, God…

  After going over everything, my total came to 84,000 Yen. I decided to splurge on the jacuzzi tub, adding another 20,000 to the total, since I'm not paying for the basic tub now. I also splurged for the increased counter and cabinet space, adding an extra 2,000 to the total.

  Curtains were necessary, and added another 1,000. I decided to add a new light fixture and move the old one, increasing the cost by 4,000. My house was basically one big room, sans the bathroom, so having only one light makes sense. But it was fairly dark, so I added one to the kitchen area and another to my sleeping area. That should cover everything pretty well. We'll see when I preview everything.

  I also went for the better countertops and bigger sink for the kitchen, adding 8,000 to the total. But I bet they'll look real nice. Give this place an upper class poor look. I can combo the paint for the ceiling and the walls if I choose the same color for 1,500, which I will.

  So yeah, that's pretty much everything. I went slightly over budget, but it's not a big deal. I'm sure I'll find some way to make more money soon enough. Like the underground fighting ring. Maybe I'll check that out this weekend.

  Anyway, the last thing left was to pick out the colors and preview everything. The floor was a basic brown, edging towards the darker colors. The walls and ceiling were a light gray with the curtains being a darker gray. The kitchen cabinets were a similar color as the floor, only slightly lighter. I could have chosen to have them painted as well, but I've spent enough for one day. Besides, they look fine au naturel.

  The countertops were made to look like granite and had lots of browns, blacks, silvers and whites along it. Honestly, it looked better than I thought it would. The light fixtures were a matte black and absolutely gave the room more light. Totally worth it. No more stubbing my toe for this guy!

  …Ok, we both know that was a lie. Can we just move on?

  Thank you.

  Next was the bathroom. The tub was pretty big and I hoped the girls appreciated it. If they didn't. My pimp hand would meet their booties. It had nice, clean curtains on it as well, colored black, with silver fleur-de-lis covering it. Glad those came with it, because I would not have splurged for them. They did look nice though.

  The toilet was a toilet, nothing special there, only that I didn't have to worry about back floaters anymore. What will flush, will stay flushed. And finally, we have the sink and the cabinet, each of them about 30% bigger than the previous ones. The counter had those glued on laminate strips, but they were at least similar looking to the kitchen so that was nice.

  I exited the bathroom and removed my shoes, walking across my newly lacquered floor. Boy did it feel nice not to walk on that rough floor anymore. Once I did that, I walked over to the couch and sat down, just staring at everything. It was kind of hard to believe it was the same house. Satisfied with the look, I hit confirm.

  The house glowed briefly, signifying the success of my actions. Now all I had to do was wait for the T.V and stand to be delivered, and I was good to go. After spending all that money, I had just under 10,000 left.

  But at least the Quest was complete, and I am now less likely to die of dysentery. Hooray! I still don't know why that was a thing. Not like I'm going to Oregon anytime soon. Nor unless I want to visit Gravity Falls.

  But I already have one megalomaniacal psychopath to deal with, I don't need another.

  It took about 5 minutes for my package to arrive and I was now the proud owner of a decently sized T.V. Unfortunately, I had to build the damn stand, but that was fine.

  Except I don't have tools… Ok, not so fine.

  Down to 4,000 Yen. It took me the better part of an hour to get the stand set up. It was black and even had a nice little glass door in the middle. I removed the T.V from the box and set it up. Nice, now I can watch television like a normal kid again!

  Except I don't have cable… Fuck, I don't even have a DVD player or DVD's.

  Now down to 1,000 Yen, I set up my new DVD player and placed the movies I bought as a bundle into the stand. Glad it had a little space for that. The movies themselves were pretty random, but I can now confirm that Disney exists.

  After Aizen, they're next on the chopping block.

  But with that done I checked the time. It was just past 6. Time flies when you're unexpectedly forced to build shit. I suppose I should take a shower before the midget gets here. No need to get bitched at for smelling bad. And I get to try out my new facilities!

  Stripping down and freeing the beast from his imprisonment, I darted into the bathroom, a big grin on my face. I took out the soap I stole from Hiyori's mindscape, lavender scented, and turned the shower on.

  Time to wash my worries away.

  As soon as the spray hit me, I let out an orgasmic moan. You know those people who say cold showers are good for you? Fuck 'em.

  Of course, enjoying my shower meant I didn't hear a certain someone knocking on the door. And I certainly didn't hear her enter the house. But you know what I did hear? Her loud, angry and embarrassed screaming as I left the bathroom, buck ass naked.

  "Oh, hey Hiyori. Didn't hear you come in," I say casually, cleaning out my ears. I had a towel, of course, but I was using that to dry off my bald head. Kisuke really came through with that concoction of his. Not only did it remove the hair the little blonde gremlin in front of me drew on me, but it also left my scalp feeling softer than it ever has.

  I need to get some more of that stuff.

  "Don't just hey Hiyori me! What the hell do you think you're doing!" she yelled pointing a trembling finger right at me, her face beat red. I get the feeling she was trying not to look at my penis. I don't know why, it's a pretty great penis. I look at it all the time.

  "Well, I was taking a shower and when that shower was over, I came out here," I said, moving past her, and heading for the small dresser next to my bed, looking for some boxers to put on.

  Hiyori watched me go, spluttering at my casualness. Did she stare at my ass when I walked by? All sources point to yes.

  "Who walks out of the bathroom naked!?" she yelled, watching me get dressed in a pair of sweatpants. Man, she just got here and I'm already having a blast. Didn't think I'd get to pull off the accidental, "sorry, I didn't know you were here," speech just yet.

  Though in this case, it was true. Man is it nice having a decent shower.

  "People who don't expect other people to be in their house. Hey, by the way, have you eaten yet? I'm starving," I mention, no longer naked. I know, I'm as disappointed as you are.

  "That's it!? That's all you have to say? Have you eaten yet!?" Hiyori continued to yell.

  "Well, have you?" I ask.

  She opened her mouth to say something, but her stomach gave a loud roar, answering for her. Her face turned even redder, and I snickered at her expression.

  "Don't you laugh at me!" she threatened. I simply chuckle at her some more, moving towards the kitchen.

  "Whatever you say. Now, why don't you take a bath or something while I make us something to eat," I suggest, while looking through my Inventory at the ingredients I stole. I only had one recipe, the one I got from eating Yuzu's dinner, so I was hoping I could make that. Let's see, I have plenty of chicken, but what about rice…

  "A bath? Now you're trying to get me naked too you pervert!" she accused. I rolled my eyes at her, turning to give her a blank look.

  "No, I'm not. At least not yet. I just thought you would like to have a soak. I just got a new jacuzzi bathtub, figured you might like to be the first one to try it out," I say. Her eyes widened at that, turning to look at the bathroom with an almost longing look on her face.

  It was adorable.

  "Fine. Since you insist so much, I might as well take you up on your offer," she said in a haughty tone, placing her hands on her hips. Damn tsundere, acting like she's doing me a big favor when it's obvious she wants to give it a try.

  "Thank you very much," I chirp back at her, making her huff. She promptly turned around and stomped inside, slamming the door behind her. Oh yes, she's going to be a delight of a roommate.

  You know, she's probably here to spy on you, right?

  "Now, now, no need to be jealous," I responded, hearing Hiyori start to fill the tub. I could see a suitcase near the door and I assume that must be her stuff. Guess I need to get some extra storage next. She did say she'd only be staying a week, but I somehow doubt that.

  You know that's not it. Don't you find it strange how accepting Kisuke was of your presence?

  "No, not really. I figured as soon as we met I would be on his radar. Honestly, I'd be more surprised if he wasn't suspicious of me," I tell her, bringing out some pots and pans to make the dish with. Turns out I stole plenty of foodstuffs to make the meal for us both. Now let's level up my Cooking Skill. Time to turn Bleach into Food Wars baby!

  Wait, so you already knew Hiyori was sent to be a spy?

  "Not for sure, of course, but it was pretty damn convenient that Hiyori suddenly has problems controlling her Reiryoku while I'm perfectly fine. And that orb he used to check my Spirit Energy for problems probably checked for other things too," I say, flipping the stove on.

  Man it's nice having appliances that work. I can't wait to make some toast. Fuckin' love toast.

  And that doesn't bother you?

  "Not really. I mean, look at it from his perspective. Some new player arrives at the same time as some new Hollow and has a run in with one of the Visoreds. I'd be suspicious of me too," I saw, boiling the water for the rice.

  So, what are you going to do?

  "Nothing. Just go about business as usual."

  Honestly, there wasn't much else I could do. Kisuke is way stronger than me and way smarter, so I'd rather be on the guy's good side.

  Since when did you get so smart?

  "Hey, I'll have you know I have an incredible, jaw dropping 20 Intelligence. And my Wisdom is double that. I'm not just a hot, dumb blonde anymore," I tell her, stirring the pot in front of me.

  Gain 3 Affection to Hiyori Sarugaki (29/100)

  "Oh, God yes…"

  Hearing her moan like that, I can either assume she likes the tub or her fingers. Or both. Guess that means that was money well spent. However, I would come to realize how much I underestimated the joy women derive from a relaxing bath.

  *Knock*

  *Knock*

  *Knock*

  "Hiyori, will you hurry up! The food is getting cold!" I yell from the other side of the bathroom door. She's been in there for an hour already, and if it wasn't for the angry response I got, I'd think she had drowned.

  "Shut up!"

  "Don't make me come in there!"

  "Try it, see what happens!"

  Damn her. I was not about to risk my nice new house getting destroyed. No siree. I have no choice but to wait. It's already been an hour, how much longer can it take?

  Turns out, another hour. Hiyori left the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her petite body, and another one around her hair. She has never looked more girly than she does right now. And as much as I enjoyed the sight, I was hungry damn it!

  "Ah, I got to hand it to you baldy, this is a pretty nice place you got here," she complimented, her snaggletooth showing as she gave me a grin.

  "Great, glad you approve. Now why don't you put some clothes on so we can eat. Unless you're fine wearing that," I say to her. She rolled her eyes, making her way towards her suitcase before opening it up and pulling out some pajamas.

  It was a tiny pair of shorts and a sleeveless shirt. I guess that qualifies.

  "Don't get your panty's in a bunch, I'll be ready in a second," she said, heading back into the bathroom. Hopefully it won't take her two hours to find her way back to the living room this time.

  Sighing, I decided to heat up our food in my new microwave. Now I could have just ate and fucked off to bed, but I wanted to enjoy a meal with her. Is that too much to ask?

  Of course not. It's sweet, you wanting to spend time with your girls.

  I'll let you have that one since you're agreeing with me. Hiyori exited the bathroom a few minutes later, just as I finished placing the food. She looked at it, surprised while drying off her hair.

  I got to admit, she looks pretty damn good in those tiny little shorts of hers. Almost makes the whole thing worth it. But I've seen her doppelganger Hollow naked, so it wasn't that special.

  "Wow, this actually looks pretty good. Didn't think you knew how to cook," she says.

  "I'm a bachelor living all on his lonesome. What did you expect?" I say, not wanting to tell her how low my Cooking Skill actually is.

  "Cup ramen," she says, like she was stating the obvious. Now I have to hope she doesn't look in the cupboard with the packages of infinite ramen in them. Hiyori takes a seat in one of the chairs, surprised by how comfortable it is. That's what I assume her expression means.

  After that, the two of us are finally able to enjoy our meal. She once more mentions her surprise at the taste, as I start a movie. Top Gun of all things. From there, the two of us eat in relative silence, except for Hiyori to talk about the movie. Guess the Visoreds aren't big film buffs.

  Once it was over, I stretched my arms above my head, releasing a big yawn as I did so. "Guess it's time for bed. I'm beat," I mutter. Boy do I wish I didn't have school tomorrow, but such is life. Thankfully, I have a nice bed to sleep in. Totally worth the Token I used to upgrade it.

  I gathered the plates and deposited them in the sink. I could hear Hiyori yawn and stand up. The both of us then headed straight for the bed, nearly running into each other in the process.

  "Hey, where do you think you're going?" Hiyori asked, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at me. I raise a brow at that.

  "Um, bed. Like I just said," I tell her, trying to move around her and get to my prize. But the little blonde haired goblin blocked my path.

  "The couch is that way buddy," she says, pointing towards the object in question. I glance at it, before returning my eyes to her, meeting her glare with my own. Sure, the couch was comfortable and all, but did she really think I would choose that over a real bed?

  Judging from her expression, yes. Yes she did.

  "Glad you know where it is. I'm sure you'll sleep wonderfully on it," I tell her, trying to move past her once again. Of course, she didn't let me, and now there was a palpable tension in the air.

  "You'd really make your guest sleep on the couch? Where's your sense of hospitality?" she asked.

  "Fuck hospitality, I'm sleeping in my own damn bed. But if you want to sleep in it so badly, you're welcome to join me. There's plenty of room for the both of us," I tell her, making her turn red.

  "Like hell I will you damn pervert!"

  I only shrug at her response. "Then you know where the couch is."

  Hiyori stared at me for a moment before turning around and jumping into my bed. Did she think that it was first come first serve or something? I watched with some amusement as she wrapped herself up in the blanket, giving me a smug look.

  I took that as a challenge.

  I walked up to the bed, all the while Hiyori stared at me in disbelief. It was almost cute how naive she was.

  "H-hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked, a bead of sweat dripping down her face.

  "Getting into bed, what does it look like?" I ask with a grin. Now I couldn't exactly get under the covers, due to Hiyori's death grip on them but that was alright. It was pretty warm out anyway, so I didn't really need them.

  She watched me with wide, owl-like eyes as I laid down next to her. Man it feels good to take a load off. What felt less good was the pitter patter of tiny feet kicking me in the ribs.

  "Yes, can I help you?" I ask, turning to face her.

  "What the hell do you think you're doing! Get out!" she hissed at me. But I only gave her a confused, innocent look.

  "What do you mean? I said you could join me in bed or take the couch and you dove right in. I thought that meant you wanted to share with me."

  "Well, I don't you dumbass!"

  "Oh, I see. Well, the couch is right over there. If you don't think you can handle sharing a bed with me, I won't hold it against you," I tell her. Was I manipulating her to share a bed with her? Maybe. But she shouldn't have taken a two hour long bath!

  "What? I never said I can't handle it. If you're fine with it then so am I," she insisted. It sure doesn't sound like she's ok with it, but who am I to judge.

  "Perfect. Well then, goodnight Hiyori," I say brightly.

  "Just stay on your side of the bed!"

  I chuckle at her. That was a flag if ever I've heard one. But as I lay there, eyes closed, I realized something wasn't right.

  "Hiyori…"

  "What now?"

  "One of us needs to turn off the lights…"

  "Then do it already you dumbass!"