I woke the next morning to the dogs barking. I ran naked to the open French doors overlooking the backyard and the ocean and saw Ginger and Pete at the edge of the property. I whistled and they turned to look at me, their tails wagging and playfully running along the edge. A seagull flew by and they started barking again.

  “What’s going on?” Jillian asked just waking up.

  “A seagull. The dogs spotted a seagull.” I said as I walked back to the bed and lifted the sheet off of Jillian. Her hair was a mess, her makeup; a mess, and she was only wearing her garter belt. For some reason she looked even more beautiful this morning. I approached her. She looked up at me. “I need to brush my teeth.” She said. “I’m not interested in your teeth.” I said looking down at her. She smiled and presented herself to me. During breakfast I told Jillian I was thinking about planting an herb garden and tomatoes.

  “Not sure how things are going to grow this close to the ocean.” Jillian responded.

  “Tell me about your Lobster source.” I asked.

  “Well, while I was shopping, I spotted a solar panel on the roof of this, I guess building. Eventually I found a door in an alley. I opened the door and turned on my light and heard it click on… it was a freezer!” Jillian said. Her dialog was amusing because she was very animated this morning and in good spirits.

  “What else did you see?” I asked.

  “Not much, it was very fancy, and it was getting late and I didn’t want you to worry.” She concluded.

  “Feel like investigating some more?” I asked.

  “Well, yea.” Jillian said like it was what we were going to do today.

  “We will need better lights and probably all the tools for proper B&E.” Jillian said.

  I got out the dog’s backpacks. Ginger and Pete always get excited when they see us packing them up because we will be going somewhere fun and dogs naturally like to be useful. We packed up Jillian’s favorite vehicle this week, a red Ford Expedition. After a forty-five-minute drive, we arrived at what would have been an exclusive neighborhood, at one time.

  “The solar panel is hard to see but it caught my attention because the sun reflected off it on the roof.” Jillian said. Most of the stores were boutiques and specialty shops for men and women. Clothes, jewelry, salons; places I would have never shopped.

  “This is where I got your suit.” Jillian said parking in front of the store. The store front was looted, but much of the merchandise remained. We got out and geared up for investigation. Ginger and Pete sniffing around and alert.

  “Someone gave up on the safe.” I said walking to the back room, turning on my head light.

  “Here’s the door I found; the key was behind this picture.” Jillian said pointing to a fancy picture of a Rolex watch.

  “What are you smiling about?” Jillian asked me accusatorily. We opened the door and entered an open sitting room. Very fancy, large leather chairs, dark wood paneling, sofa and the smell of tobacco and leather filled our noses.

  “Over here.” Jillian said leading us to a narrow hallway of about eight doors. A gold number 1 was on the breached door. The room contained a small freezer, wine cabinet, humidor and wood cases of Scotch against the back wall, a small safe, desk and chair. The light switch actually worked, lighting the small desk lamp. I opened the humidor – the cigars did not have any bands on them and were not completely dried out. I collected all of them. Jillian loaded up the contents of the freezer. Three lobster tails, four steaks, a large salmon flank and what looked like a large trout.

  “What do you think is in the safe?” Jillian asked.

  “Nothing of value to us, probably pictures of his mistress.” I said.

  “No, those are here in the desk.” Jillian said. The desk also included about $1,000 cash, three lighters and two condoms.

  “Door number two? I hope we need to go cooler shopping.” Jillian said.

  I pried the door open and hit the light switch on the wall. Artwork, vases and other ceramics, a safe identical to the previous room, wine cabinet and a small empty humidor. No freezer or desk.

  “Do you like any of this art?” I asked Jillian. She looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Next!” Jillian said.

  As I closed the door behind us both dogs heard something and started sniffing the air. Jillian and I stopped and remained quiet. I knelt down next to the dogs, their senses alert. Ginger started walking slowly out of the hallway and into the sitting room.

  “She’s got something. Lights off.” I said quietly.

  “Shhh.” I said to the dogs with my index finger in front of my mouth. I took the lead with my AA-12.

  I peeked out from the back room and into the main store area. All was quiet. The dogs started to growl silently just so only we could hear them. Noses sweeping the air and I felt Ginger start to tense up.

  As her growling continued, I turned and looked both dogs in the eyes and said “Stay.” Ginger sat down reluctantly and Pete was already sitting and protesting my command. I stood up and advanced cautiously through the store making sure I did not step on any broken glass.

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  I watched as a man was sitting in Jillian’s red Expedition, going through the contents of the truck and eating one of Jillian’s homemade granola bars and drinking from my water bottle. I slowly returned to Jillian and the dogs.

  “Some guy is sitting in your truck, where are the keys? I asked.

  “Here in my pocket.” She said.

  “Weapons?” I asked. Jillian showed me her purple anodized .38 on her hip.

  “My crossbow is in the back of the truck.” Jillian said. I pulled out the 2-way radios from Pete’s backpack and handed one to Jillian.

  “Is there another exit?” I asked.

  “Yes, it leads to the next street over.” Jillian said.

  “Take the dogs and let me know when you are in position.” I said. After about a minute I gave a radio check.

  “Ginger keeps looking back in your direction.” Jillian whispered as I adjusted the volume.

  “Have her come back then.” I said re-thinking strategy. From the back of the store, I heard a click and Jillian say “done”. Ginger appeared silently at my side and licked my hand and refocused her attention. After about seven minutes, Jillian’s voice over the radio.

  “We are three stores in front of the truck, I can see him now.” Jillian whispered.

  “How is Pete?” I asked.

  “Focused, random growling.” Jillian said.

  “Safety’s on.” I said.

  Ginger and I walked through the store and stood in the doorway. The occupant still did not see us as he was busy eating, drinking and looking through the vehicle. I held the AA-12 toward the ground and said to Ginger: “Speak!” Ginger issued a powerful booming bark that echoed along the street. The man quickly turned to face me with wide open eyes, then he looked at the AA-12, then at Ginger. Her hair standing on end and snarling. He tried the window switch panicking.

  “Hello.” I said softly with a smile. He continued to panic inside the vehicle.

  “What are you trying to do?” I asked him as he shrieked in fear.

  “You are making her nervous and me very concerned.” I said in a flat tone. He jumped in the back-passenger seats scared, eyes darting looking for a way out.

  “You know what is going to happen if you run; don’t you?” I asked. He shook his head ‘no’, frantically.

  “Animals automatically switch into hunting mode and give chase. You have only two legs, she has four.” I said as I poked my head inside the driver side window. He said nothing. I walked around to the back of the truck, opened the back door and pulled out the crossbow, not taking any chances.

  “You better not be pissing on the leather.” I said as I pulled out a cigar and lit it standing on the sidewalk. I turned my head away and whispered to Jillian into the two-way radio. “He’s just scared.”

  “I tell you what Sparky, the one thing we have plenty of, is time.” I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

  “Are you armed? Do you have a weapon?” I asked.

  “No!” came a quick response from the man.

  “Now if you are lying to me, things are going to go in a very different direction.” I said holding the AA-12 against the window and switching off the safety in clear view of him.

  “Does that dog bite?” He asked.

  “Fuck Yes!” All dogs bite.” I said. A gun appeared from the driver side window; I took it.

  “Anything else?” I asked.

  “No!” came another quick response.

  “You sure? Trust is in short supply right now between us.” I said.

  “No.” came a reply.

  “Ok, come out very slowly and do not look at the dog.” I said. The door opened and he got out.

  “Please, lift your shirt and turn around.” I said.

  “Why?” he protested.

  “Because you are a thief, a liar and cannot be trusted.” I said. The man reluctantly complied.

  “For someone dressed in such nice clothes you sure smell awful.” I said. Jillian appeared from behind the truck with Pete. The man did not notice.

  “You are the first person I’ve seen in three years.” The man said.

  “It’s only been two years; then why do you carry a gun?” I asked. He did not respond.

  “You don’t look very healthy, where have you been living?” I asked politely.

  “I have a house a couple of blocks away.” He said unconvincing.

  “What do you do for food, besides stealing ours?” Jillian asked from behind him. He jumped when he heard her voice and got even more scared looking at Pete, just sitting and chest heaving.

  “Shit, you scared me!” He said holding his hand over his heart.

  “Food, what do you do for food and water?” Jillian asked again in a flat tone.

  “I eat and drink what I can find.” He said.

  “My name is Greg and this is Jillian.” I said. He held out his hand and approached me, making Ginger and Pete stand and start growling loud as a warning as I did not extend my hand.

  “That is not advisable right now.” I said. He stopped short.

  “Weren’t you married to that woman on T.V.?” Jillian asked.

  “That’s it!” I interrupted. “I know who you are. Your skill set does not seem to be paying off.” I said. He stood with his typical blank expression of cluelessness.

  “How do you get around?” I asked.

  “I walk, or ride a bike.” He said.

  “Why don’t you just get a vehicle?” I asked.

  “I hot wire them until they run out of gas, if they start at all.” He said.

  “There is the most beautiful gas station I have ever seen a couple of blocks away.” I said pointing. He just looked down at the ground.

  “Resources must be getting pretty scarce around here.” I said. He said nothing.

  “What kind of skills DO you have?” I asked.

  “I’m a musician, I…” he started to say as I interrupted him.

  “How many notes in one octave?” I asked.

  “Seven!” He responded confident in his response.

  “Could you help me convert a twelve-volt system to a nine-volt system?” I asked.

  “Hell yea!” He said.

  “How many solar panels have you set up for energy?” I asked.

  “None, but I can learn. You can do that?” He asked.

  “You have absolutely zero skills. You are a liar and have nothing to contribute.” I said.

  “I have money!” He eventually responded.

  “How much?” Jillian asked as I held back my smile.

  “A shit-load!” He said proudly.

  “How much would you pay for; say, a large salmon?” Jillian asked.

  “One thousand cash money.” He said trying to be impressive.

  “Tell you what.” Jillian said walking up to him.

  “The price is ten-thousand dollars; ‘cash money’.” Jillian whispered to him.

  “Ten ‘g’s for a salmon!” He protested.

  Jillian went to the cooler and pulled out the frozen salmon and handed it to him. His eyes opened wide and his mouth dropped as he looked at it. Jillian continued her proposal; “We will give you this today, meet back here in two weeks, because we live about 3 hours west. You will bring the ‘cash money’ and TWO of your most prized possessions, and we will give you this.” Jillian pulled out the large trout.

  “Where did you get that!” He asked completely amazed.

  “You just need to know where to look.” I said to him with a wink, because it was only fifty yards away.

  “Also, if you bring a vehicle, I will show you how to get gas.” I said as I handed him back his gun, empty. We loaded up the dogs, and Jillian started the engine.

  “Two weeks from today, noon, at the gas station two blocks over, okay?” I confirmed with him holding his frozen fish and empty gun.

  “Hey, Yo! How do you cook this?” He asked.

  “WE would bake that in our oven at about 350o for twenty minutes.” Jillian responded, as we drove off.

  “That was fun!” Jillian said smiling.

  “Well, he is an entertainer; he is definitely not a musician; seven notes!” I said shaking my head.

  “I’ve always hated that guy, of all the people we had to run into… and what’s that smell!?” Jillian said very agitated.

  “We may need to find another vehicle.” I said looking at the dogs sitting in the back seat close to each other on one side.