If you find yourself imprisoned, take heart- there are treasures in there, too.

  As of late, the Gaian Empire’s been confiscating any magical artifacts they deem “too powerful for the general public.” But really, they mean “anything they can use for themselves.” Usually these are kept in special rooms in your local jail facility.

  You’ll probably find something in there to pawn off. Or, if you’re the more moral sort, return them to their owners for a pretty penny. Just make sure to not get caught again while escaping!

  -Toki Dorobo, The Thief’s Guide to Mischief

  Day 10 in this cell… and no distractions around here. How disappointing.

  Usagi lazed about in the cell’s bed, searching the room for any weak spots for the umpteenth time. Of course, he hadn’t found any, but it was worth triple checking.

  “I can’t believe I got caught filching a wallet of all things. What an elementary mistake…” he muttered. “They left it on a table, it was practically asking to be stolen!” Unfortunately, he had the bad luck to grab it right as its owner came back…

  Of course, he COULD simply leave through the front door by picking the lock- the trusty straw he always kept by him would make sure of that. But sneaking out by himself would be too risky- he was fast, but he couldn’t outfight an entire legion of guards.

  No, he needed a distraction of some sort- or someone who could back him up. Or, in a worst-case scenario, a fall guy to get captured in his stead. Someone who REALLY wanted to leave, and would cooperate with a plan…

  But who? He wondered. None of the other people in here seem fit for this… they’re all too, how should I put it? Resigned. And besides, he had asked already- all of them had rejected his proposal for escape.

  It’s not that difficult to get out of a cell if you know what you’re doing, really… The only problem is getting out of the building around it.

  “GIVE ME BACK MY STAFF!!”

  A spectacularly loud voice quickly shattered the silence of the dismal building, and Usagi’s ears pricked up. Usually something that loud meant a new prisoner was arriving- or one was being taken to death row.

  The former was more common in his experience, thankfully.

  Usagi quickly scurried into the corner of the room, trying to make himself look as small as possible. Not terribly difficult, when one is only four feet tall.

  The guards threw open the door, and Usagi could finally get a look at the offender of that awful noise.

  A High elf and a dragonborn… quite an unlikely duo.

  The duo was shoved into the cell block, with the guards shutting the door quickly behind them. The elf attempted to rush the door, but it was already shut and locked. Meanwhile, the dragonborn was clearly out cold.

  Oh? New cellmates? That’s a surprise. Usually they don’t put anyone else in cells with known career criminals… like yours truly. They must have run out of space.

  The dragonborn was completely knocked out, a nasty bump forming on the top of his head. Wonder if he picked a bigger fight than he could handle. He looks fairly strong, so it must have been rough…

  Meanwhile, the elf was still raising all sorts of hell.

  “DON’T DROP THAT!! THAT’S A HOLY ARTIFACT YOU’RE MISHANDLING!!”

  She banged against the bars of the cell, saying every piece of bad language short of actually swearing. It would be amusing, but Usagi’s ears already hurt from the cacophony of this woman. Gods, she’s loud. Is she trying to wake up everyone in the cell block?

  How her companion could sleep through that racket was a complete mystery to Usagi.

  The elf rushed back over to her unconscious compatriot, attempting to shake him awake. The violent motion seemed to work, as the large reptilian man began to stir, groaning in pain.

  Unlike his partner, this one looked fairly strong- and the gears began turning in Usagi’s head.

  Hm. Best attempt to glean some information before attempting to enlist their services… don’t want to end up dead if they’re fools, after all. But I might be able to work with this…

  “Rex!!”

  Ugh, my head…

  Rex slowly opened his eyes, his vision blurry and head still pounding. If I see that centaur again, I will personally take my axe and bury it in-

  “Rex, wake up!!” Celeste evidently did not understand the meaning of whispering… or headaches.

  “I’m awake, I’m awake, cease your whining!!” Rex barked. “Can’t I get a moment’s peace?!” Celeste, as usual, was blind to his annoyance.

  “Oh, good, you’re awake. We’ve got a problem, they took my staff!!”

  “And?

  Celeste looked crestfallen. “I can’t do magic without it! And I can’t hear Asteron, either!!”

  “Oh no, oh no oh no, how am I going to fulfill the prophecy now?”

  “All right, what is this prophecy, anyway?! You’ve gotten me thrown in jail for it, I think I deserve to know!!” Rex growled.

  “Oh, it’s simple!” Celeste beamed, her former sadness gone almost instantly. “All I need to do is gather six other warriors, gather the Orbs of the Creator, and save the world!!”

  “Wh- what orbs?! Creator?!” Rex was getting more confused by the second. “I’m going to need more of an explanation than that!”

  Celeste sighed. “Right, not everybody’s been gifted with knowledge like I have.” At that, Rex’s eye twitched. Knowledge?! You, who announced your purpose to the entire world and can’t keep your mouth shut to save your life?!

  “Basically, the Creator broke his power up into seven magic balls, and whoever finds them all gains ULTIMATE POWER, or something. My job is to gather them, with the aid of six other fearsome warriors, so they don’t fall into the wrong hands!”

  Rex’s interest was suddenly piqued. “Wait, what did you say about… ultimate power?”

  Celeste tilted her head curiously. “As in, the great and ultimate power of the Creator, capable of reforming entire worlds?”

  “...And you didn’t feel the need to mention this earlier, why??”

  “YOU didn’t tell me you were a prince, either!” Rex couldn’t think of a good response to that, so he thought it would be best to turn his attention to more pressing topics. Like escape.

  He shook the bars. They seemed solidly built– and without his ax, he wasn’t breaking them down.

  “Fine, we can illuminate each other later. First, we need to get out of here, somehow-”

  A smooth voice cut in over their arguing, gentle yet somehow commanding. “Heh. Princes? Orbs of ultimate power? What a jackpot I’ve stumbled into…”

  Rex looked around, before locating the source. A short Rabbitfolk clad in blue robes and a straw hat, was lounging around in the corner, nibbling on a piece of straw. His fluffy and cute appearance was offset by a scar on his left cheek. He blended in so well, Rex hadn’t even noticed him.

  “You two are, without a doubt, the most unstealthy people I have ever seen… but, I must say, what you’re blathering about intrigues me.” He hopped up and strode over to the duo, looking them up and down. He was two feet shorter than Rex, yet didn’t seem intimidated at all. Either this one has seen far more than his appearance would suggest, or he’s a massive fool. Let’s hope it’s the former…

  “Orbs of ultimate power, princes… very, very interesting. Tell me, you wouldn’t happen to be Rex Brimstone, by any chance?”

  Rex’s jaw dropped. “H-how?! I’ve been hiding for years!!”

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  “Word gets around in the circles of those who hide from the law, your majesty. The lost prince of the Kingdom of Dragonia, chased out when his father was deposed…” The rabbit grinned. “And the cleric of Asteron too? Oh boy, I’ve heard of you. Constantly getting into trouble, arrested, escaping under unclear circumstances… luck of the devil, heh.”

  Rex growled. “What’s your point, rabbit! Are you just going to tell us what we already know?”

  “This rabbit has a name. Usagi Dorobo, master thief, last of the Dorobo clan, with one of the biggest bounties in the world… What I’m saying is I want in on the hustle. Something like this? Probably a lot of money to be made…”

  “HE’S SO CUTE!!” Celeste squealed, finally breaking her silence. “SO FLUFFY!!”

  Usagi laughed. “Ah ha ha! I know ladies can’t help but fall all over me, but perhaps we should focus on getting out of here first?”

  Rex frowned. “And how are you going to do that? I tried smashing those doors down and they didn’t even budge. And I’m much stronger than you!”

  “Heh heh. Don’t need muscles or fire breath to get out of here. Give me a minute…” Usagi crouched down near the door, pulled the piece of straw out of his mouth and began tinkering with it.

  “Ooh, look at his cute little tail, I could just poke it for ages…” Celeste crooned. Rex turned toward her, an incredulous look on his face.

  “This is an Empire facility, do you REALLY think some rabbit can get us out of here so easily-”

  CLANG!

  The door swung open. Usagi stood outside, grinning at him. “You were saying, Your Majesty?”

  Rex grimaced. “Save your mockery. We need to get out of here!!”

  “Thank you, bunny!!” Celeste picked up Usagi, in a desperate attempt to snuggle him- before he deftly wriggled out of her grip.

  “Sorry, sweetheart, but you’re not my type. Not enough fur. Or… sharp appendages. Anyway, you said you were looking for your staff?”

  Celeste nodded vigorously. “Yes!! I can’t do magic or talk to Asteron without it!!”

  Usagi rubbed his small chin. “Hm. That would be kept in the contraband locker… I know where that is. Follow me, and don’t lag behind- the guards will be back any moment!” He hopped off, with Celeste following close behind. Rex followed, grumbling to himself.

  “I swear to the gods, if this rabbit gets us caught, I’ll shove that straw down his smug throat…”

  As the trio snuck through the foreboding passages of the jail, Rex thought at how off the rails this day had gone. Getting stuck in the mad ramblings of a religious loon, duelling a self-righteous Empire soldier, and then breaking out of their jail with the aid of a very dubious rabbit. Not the most… elegant way of assembling allies…

  He looked around furtively. Oddly, there weren’t any guards around…

  It’s awfully quiet around here… good. The less excitement right now, the better…

  “Wait. Stay back.” Usagi’s harsh whisper cut through the silence of the room. He peered around a corner, scoping out the situation ahead. “Hm. That’s not ideal…”

  Oh no. Rex was dreading what was about to come out of the rabbit’s mouth. Rabbits are good luck, they say… bah.

  “What is it??” Celeste said, in a voice that could barely qualify as a whisper.

  “Well, I have good news and bad news. The contraband locker’s just up ahead, and your staff’s probably inside…”

  “Bad news is, there’s a guard there. And she looks pretty alert…”

  Rex snuck a look past the corner to confirm, and indeed, Usagi was correct. A human guardswoman with a ponytail was standing outside the door, staring at the clock on the wall. Rex sighed. “Great. And we don’t have our weapons, either… I suppose we’ll just have to knock them out the old-fashioned way…”

  Usagi chuckled. “Oh, please, your majesty, we don’t have to resort to such boorish- and likely to fail- methods. I’ve been doing this for years. Watch the master at work…”

  Before Rex could stop him, Usagi walked directly out in the open, into the guard’s view!!

  What?! What are you doing?! Weren’t you just talking about being stealthy?!

  Holding his hat in his hands, Usagi put on his cutest face and stared directly at the guard.

  “Hewwo!! I’m a widdle wost, can you hewp me??”

  Rex had to fight valiantly to not laugh. THIS is the rabbit’s plan? What is he going to do, give them a heart attack?? Celeste, meanwhile, was too busy gaping.

  “Oooh, he’s even cuter now!!” she crooned. “Look at his chubby cheeks, I could just-”

  “Silence!!” Rex elbowed her in the gut.

  The guard was instantly smitten. “Poor baby… don’t worry, I’ll help you find your way!” She led Usagi away, who was still babbling in a cute voice that made Rex want to gag. Even if this works, I could do with hearing less of… that.

  “Are you looking for your parents, little one?” The guard

  Usagi got a look at her name tag, which said ‘Officer Holly’.

  “Yeah, they said they’d be awound hewe somewhewe… I think they work here…”

  While he was keeping her occupied, Usagi quickly snatched the set of keys hanging from her belt. They’re not even secured. How has she not lost them yet?

  “Do you know any more? What do they look like?” Holly said, in an almost motherly tone. Usagi almost felt bad about deceiving her. Almost.

  “They’re wabbits just wike me… one’s bwack, the othew’s white…”

  “Hm… I don’t remember seeing anyone like that around here, they must be visitors. Or transfers. They’re always transferring people in here without telling me… I don’t know how they keep everything straight!"

  That’s right, keep talking… keep being distracted… need to find somewhere to get you out of the way-

  “Wait… where are my keys?”

  Damnit. I’ve got to act quickly…

  Looking around frantically, Usagi spotted a nearby cell, which was conveniently open. It was covered in a thick metal door with a sliding window near the top- thick enough that it would block most sound from coming out.

  Ah, it’s my lucky day. Perhaps it hadn’t been filled with a prisoner yet. Well, it’s about to be…

  “Miss guard! Who’s that in there?” Come on, natural beauty, do your job…

  “What? There’s no one in there…” Despite herself, the guard went to go look anyway- which was a grave mistake for her, as Usagi darted to her side and tripped her inside!

  Quickly, before the guard could get up, Usagi slammed the door and locked it.

  “Ah, perfect. Sorry, love, couldn't have you raising an alarm."

  “You tricked me! When I find your parents, they’re going to be so cross!!”

  “Joke’s on you, they’ve been dead for years.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry- wait, you were lying even more?!”

  Usagi was struggling not to laugh at how… simple this guard was. Perhaps she was a bit too green for this job. I almost pity her- almost.

  “It’s called a hustle, sweetheart. A point of advice for the future- most harengon are older than they look. I’m sure someone will come to let you out eventually- take this as a learning experience.”

  “A learning experience?! I’ll- you- open this door right now, and I might not-”

  But before she could finish her weakly worded threat, Usagi slid the window on the door closed, and started hopping back to the others.

  Usually that’s more difficult. I guess I happened upon the weak link here… lucky me!

  Not five minutes later, Usagi strolled back around the corner, dusting off his robe and with a shit-eating grin on his face.“Guard’s been dealt with.”

  Rex’s jaw dropped. “What did you do?? You were only gone for a little bit…”

  “Filched the keys, tripped her into a cell, and locked the door behind her.”

  “...well… good job, then. That was quick…” Rex turned away, heading to the contraband locker door. This rabbit is far cleverer than one would expect… perhaps he’ll be a valuable asset after all…

  Picking the door open, he peered inside. Thankfully, there weren’t any more guards inside the place, otherwise he’d be in deep trouble. “Coast is clear. Let’s get our things back-”

  “ASTERON, I’M COMING!!” Celeste immediately shoved past him before he could finish his sentence. Usagi strode up behind her, raising an eyebrow towards Rex.

  “Is she always like that?”

  Rex rolled his eyes in the most disapproving manner he could muster. “Unfortunately.”

  Inside the small room, was a ton of stuff piled up. Weapons, armor, and an assortment of other miscellany.

  “Oh, perfect. Let’s see what they’ve been hiding in here…” Usagi quickly hopped up to the top of a large pile of bags and began digging. “Oh, good, a wallet… whoever had this won’t need it… earrings… oh ho ho, that’s an interesting pendant…”

  Ignoring the greedy rabbit’s muttering, Rex quickly located his axe, sitting on a nearby shelf, hefting it triumphantly. “Excellent. NOW I’ll be able to show those guards what for!!”

  Usagi stopped his search for a moment. “I wouldn’t recommend that… we should try to be as inconspicuous as possible, remember?”

  Rex looked at the large bag of stuff Usagi was now sporting, and back to him. Pot calling the kettle, here… hmph. At least the alarm hasn’t been raised yet, so unless someone REALLY sticks their foot in it, we should be able to-

  BONG!

  The loud sound of a bell echoed throughout the room, ringing in Rex’s ears, catching him halfway through putting his armor back on. “Oh, what NOW?!” He whirled around, to see Celeste, holding her staff, looking sheepish.

  Rex stormed over, his scaled face looking even redder than usual. “What did you do?! We needed to be subtle! SUBTLE!!”

  “Uh… the staff was stuck on this wall, so I had to really pull to get it off… and when I did, that bell started ringing-”

  Usagi, toting a large sack of valuables, inspected the mount the staff was attached to, and sighed. “Curses, the staff must have been trapped…” he muttered. “We’d better make ourselves scarce, and quickly before the guards come back. Follow me!” He rushed out of the room, with Celeste following close behind.

  Rex stomped quickly out of the room, snarling curses under his breath. “If we get recaptured because of this, I’m going to take that staff and break it over my knee!! Holy artifact, my tail…”