Family dinner happens once a week. It was a rule put in place, so the family didn’t grow distant. Unfortunately, Ning Mei was still out traveling so to compensate there was just a letter from her sitting at everyone’s seat along with the meal.

  Within the week that the new family member arrived, Ning Qian hadn’t talked to his daughter once because he didn’t know how to approach her. He wasn’t one to talk to children on a heart to heart level. He wasn’t one to do that with anyone. Sure, he was a doctor, but he only healed physical wounds. He was at a stand still with his own awkwardness.

  Ning Yun looked down at the nice display of food in front of her. With her chopsticks she’d pick something up then put it back down. She knew that her body had no use for food, water, or sleep. Why would she waste good food on a body that couldn’t even cry? It probably tasted as good as it looked. The cooks were nothing less than amazing, but she couldn’t put that food into her mouth.

  Lord Ning, at the head of the seating, coughed to grab everyone’s attention. Once all eyes were on him, he said, “Ning Yun, your teacher’s have informed me that you’re an exceptional student that could even be considered a genius.”

  “Is that so?” she couldn’t be any less interested in the subject. Did being a genius really matter if one’s talent was never used? Even if she was a genius, it wasn’t like she was going to do anything great with it. Most geniuses go undiscovered for that exact reason.

  “That’s amazing!” Madam Ning praised the girl who couldn’t care any less. She didn’t even care that she was sitting next to Ning Qian.

  “Thank you for the kind compliment.”

  Her eyes, almost looking like she was in a daze, placed her chopsticks down like she’d never used them. It’s not like she could starve herself.

  Everyone could tell that there was something off with Ning Yun. Before, she didn’t hesitate to eat anything in front of her while investing herself into a conversation or the food itself. However, today, she didn’t even want to touch her food. She moved certain pieces around the plate, stirred the rice a little bit, but that was it. Not a single piece of food got close to her mouth. If someone didn’t notice that something was off, they were incredibly stupid. Even if Ning Qian didn’t know what he was supposed to do, unlike the situation before, he knew that he couldn’t stand around and do nothing.

  “Ning Yun, have a servant guide you to my room after your classes are over,” he said, putting his own chopsticks down as if saying that he wasn’t going to eat if his child wasn’t.

  “I understand,” she said, “Please excuse me. Dinner was delicious.”

  She left her plate with every single piece of food still on it. She didn’t even take the letter her aunt had written specifically for her.

  It was past midnight when he finally got the knock on his door that he was waiting for.

  “Master Ning Qian, Young Lady Ning Yun is here as you requested earlier this evening.”

  The entire night Ning Qian was just sitting at his desk waiting. He could let his child know that, unlike her who was studying more than five subjects a day, he was just sitting around doing nothing but contemplating how to approach her. He cluttered his own desk to look like he was swamped with work, but if one looked closely, it would be clear that nothin on his desk was even related to each other. Although, it wasn’t like Ning Yun, who had slid the door open herself, was in the state to care enough to scan the desk of another person.

  “What is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

  Was it her lack of etiquette? Was her way of walking boyish? Was it because of her not eating? Honestly, anything he was about to scold her about wasn’t going to matter. She smiled just thinking about how meaningless those words would be to her. In the next few years, the man in front of her would no longer be there. It was ridiculously sad to think about.

  Ning Qian was closely observing his child. Her smile was empty, but even before that, there was no reason for her to be smiling. Her eyes didn’t even reflect the smile on her face either. He looked her up and down. Her clothes were nicely maintained, and she wasn’t a living being so she didn’t have to sleep. Inspecting the old wound that he stitched up, his eyes were drawn to her neck. He hadn’t been with her for the past week to rebandage it every time she bathed. He didn’t pay much attention to it at dinner, but the wrapping was messing. For one thing, the bandage seemed to be dirty, and in some places, the bandage was loose causing a small part of her neck to be visible. If his vision wasn’t better than others, he wouldn’t have caught it.

  Ning Qian rose from his chair and walked in front of his desk, “Come here,” his voice was harsh. He was angry, but Ning Yun could care less as she stepped closer.

  When she was at arm’s reach, he slid a single one of his fingers and tugged at the loose part of the bandage forcing it to unravel and fall to the floor.

  “What is this?” he asked, his eyes glaring at his daughter who seemed to be confused. She raised her hand to try and touch her neck to figure out what he was talking about, but her hand was grabbed by one much larger than her own.

  The proof was under her fingernails. If there was any doubt of what happened, it was washed away but by inspecting her hand. It was difficult to wash under one's own nails.

  “What brought this development?”

  Ning Yun started to understand. The sides of her neck were covered in vertical scratch marks that dripped her cold blood onto the cold floor that were caused by her own hand. Some of her stitches had even been roughly cut causing a little disconnect of her head from her body. She turned her head and ironically there was a mirror forcing her to make eye contact with herself. She’d been avoiding looking at herself through the mirror in her own room. Looking herself up and down, she just had to scoff.

  I look dead.

  She looked inhuman with her pale skin and injured neck. No matter how much she dressed herself up, she was always going to be dead. Her eyes especially. She couldn’t even see herself in them. This body was never going to be revived. That was impossible.

  “I wanted to see if I could cry,” she said, “Turns out that it’s impossible, but we both knew that.”

  It was unrealistic thinking that the child in front of him was actually sound of mind. She was killed without knowing why after having only herself to lean on. He thought that, because she had been smiling without a care, that she was alright. That she had gotten over what had happened to her in the past, but that wasn’t it. Maybe she was just an amazing actor capable of hiding all of her anguish, or maybe it all finally hit her. Maybe she finally realized, after coming here, how messed up her old life was, but what could he say to make her feel better? He couldn’t think of anything.

  “You need to stop thinking and just give her a hug!”

  Ning Mei’s letter said those exact words. Since he knew to do nothing else, he decided to just follow what his sister said.

  Her sight was blocked by flowing sleeves, and her cheek was pressed against a warm, soft surface. Honestly, it was a little uncomfortable. It was like being pressed up against a wall. She wanted to tell him to let go before her head fell off, but then, the harsh tone from before disappeared leaving to be replaced by a gentle one.

  “I can’t understand the pain and confusion you’re feeling right now. I can’t even understand how you came to this point. Even though we have no connection by blood or have an extensive history, you’re my dear child now. If there’s something you can’t overcome by yourself, then I’m here to help you. Whether it’s small like how to bandage your neck, or something big like how to cover up a murder, I’m here for you as long as I can be.”

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  It was obvious how much he cared about a child he pulled out of a grave, but it didn’t make sense. Why her? She wasn’t special. In this life or the last. Besides, she already had a set of friends and a family to call her own. She had a mom, a dad, two sisters, a dog, and a turtle. She had a family. She had a family.

  “I’m not asking you to forget your past. Actually, it’s better that you remember everything you’ve gone through to get to this point. All I’m hoping for you to do is to look forward. What happened in the past needs to stay there. Accept your reality with open arms.”

  Her mom was a good cook, and always did whatever she could to get her what she wanted. She stopped talking to her dad when she was little, but her stepdad was very supportive. Both her sister’s made fun of her sometimes since she was the youngest, but they always answered her and gave sincere advice. Her dog was cute, and it was funny seeing how much of a greedy animal her turtle was. Her best friend always scolded her for not having common sense, and her other friends were always there to laugh with her. She loved the curly hair she’d grown out since she was in high school, but it was all gone. Her family, friends, and even her. She knew this. There was no way she didn’t, but she didn’t want to let go. How was she supposed to replace all that? How was she supposed to cope with losing all of them?

  “I already have a family…” she said in a tone as though she was desperate to convince herself.

  “And I’m not trying to replace them,” Ning Qian said, “I’d just like you to confide in me a little more.”

  She wanted to cry, but she was dead. The most painful part of this reality was that she was dead. She bled cold blood, her wounds couldn’t heal themselves, she couldn’t cry, and she couldn’t even feel pain. She was destined to live forever while watching time pass by for everything else. Her cherished people were going to die while she watched. She didn’t want to accept this reality.

  “I’m not human,” she said, “I’ll live longer than you.”

  “I’m sure you won’t be alone after I’m gone,” he said, “You’re an exceptional child who pulls people to you.”

  He was sure that there were already a few that were waiting to see her pass by them.

  “Now then,” he backed away, “I have to redo your stitches and treat the scratches.”

  It looked like she was crying, though no tears were falling. Ning Qian patted the top of her head, “There aren’t any tears, but I can tell that you’re crying.”

  Later that night, Ning Qian stitched her neck onto her body and treated the scratches as though they were never there to begin with. Ning Qian didn’t want Ning Yun to be freaked out about her head coming off of her body, so he had her put to sleep during the process like she was going through surgery. When she saw how perfect her skin looked, Ning Yun was actually impressed. This body of her’s really did look as good as new. Of course, her head was always going to be detachable. Honestly, she wondered what would happen if her head did fully disconnect from her body. Would she die then? Out of everything she could think about, she really thought about the darkest things.

  As though predicting those thoughts, she received a soft hit on her head.

  “You should always put yourself first. I already told you that I can’t always heal your wounds.”

  Ning Yun rolled her eyes, “I understand.” But it wasn’t like she was going to listen. Ning Qian was going to have to monitor her closely after this incident. He sighed, “Once you finish your studies, we’ll be back onto the road.”

  “Okay,” she said with a little attitude. Honestly, Ning Qian was happy that she was giving him attitude. That meant that she was feeling better. Of course, he wasn’t going to forget that there was still that gaping hole in her heart. He should and could never forget that.

  The next morning the family decided to have breakfast together. Ning Yun’s attitude was brighter, and she was engaging in conversation; however, her plate was still left barely touched. It was like she was constantly reminding herself that she wasn’t human that the others. She didn’t need to eat, drink, or sleep. It was a constant reminder that she was a monster.

  Classes were normal. She passed all the tests her teacher’s gave her. All her teachers had nothing to say but praise her. Honestly, she was an exceptional student. She passed lesson after lesson, memorized family tree after family tree, and even sat in some of the meetings regarding the territory. Everything was going perfectly well, until her grandmother announced that the family was invited to the Emperor's autumn garden party. Ning Yun had opened out under the guise of not having the proper education and the need for someone to stay at the house. However, it was all for not. Whether she wanted to go or not, from the start, she was going to go. She had even overheard Ning Qian trying to convince his mother to let her stay home.

  “Mother,” he’d started off, “It is not a good idea to bring my child to the garden party. If she catches enough attention, years from now, people will start wondering why her form never changes.”

  Ning Yun hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. She was actually taking a walk around the manor, when she found herself in front of the office door with Ning Qian’s voice passing through the door.

  “We can’t just hide her away. That would only draw more attention.”

  Well, she wasn’t wrong. By now, the word of the family’s only son bringing in a daughter back to the main house had probably reached the capital. That might’ve been the reason why Madam Ning was so set on Ning Yun going. The unknown held more interest than the things that were out in the open. Ning Yun could already bet that there were rumors going around about her simply because people felt like spreading rumors. There were probably made up stories about how Ning Qian had left high society because he fell in love with a commoner and had a child. There were probably others like him going to a brothel and accidentally getting a girl pregnant, or simple assumptions of her being an orphan adopted out of pity which wasn’t wrong. Still, at some point, if the rumors weren’t cleared, it would negatively affect the entire family image which, as the madam, her grandmother wasn’t going to allow that.

  It made sense. They were getting rid of the target on her back to replace it with a target that was slightly smaller. Plus, Ning Yun already knew that if she faked a chronic illness, she could end up with a pass of such gatherings again and gain empathy from the other families. The best solution was for her to go.

  In the end, she walked into the office, bringing the conversation to a halt and a conclusion by saying that she was going to go. Besides, if she didn’t go out now, she would have to go out later. Plus, it would be her first family trip. She didn’t know whether time would move fast for her or not. All she knew was that she was definitely going to live longer than these people, so she should enjoy what time she had with them while she could. She wished she could die with them, so she wouldn’t be left alone.

  That situation led to her etiquette classes being the priority for the next few days until they left for the garden party. Her etiquette teacher was tougher on her than in the normal lessons, and if she had to be honest, that was her worst subject. At dinner, Ning Qian had advised her to get used to eating even if it was in small portions so as to not draw suspicion when servants picked up a platter that wasn’t even touched.

  “It tastes good.”

  She never thought that she actually missed eating. When the multiple different tastes hit her tongue, she couldn’t control the hand that was heading to grab the next piece of food that it hoped had the same if not new taste. Ning Yun already knew that eating wasn’t just to replenish stamina. There was a reason tongues were covered in glands that could taste the difference in all the food, and why the brain was sensitive to the different textures. Eating was meant to be enjoyed. That was why it was easy to gain weight. Eating was addicting. It was like a drug. All the more reason why she shouldn’t go for another bite.

  Ning Yun forced her hand to stop right before gathering another bite and put her chopsticks down.

  “Thank you for the food,” she’d said after only taking a singular bite of the food on her plate. After the party, whether it was suspicious or not, she was going to ask for them to stop preparing meals for her. It was just a waste of food.

  Madam Ning was thinking. Her granddaughter seemed to be a happy go lucky kid with a little attitude when she’d first arrived at the house, but as the days went by, she noticed that her mannerisms were changing. Her granddaughter had gobbled down her first meal, jumped into her bed, and was fascinated by the smallest things in the house. Everything caught her eye, but in the matter of a couple days, she’d completely changed. It was like she’d become another person, or maybe, she’d just gotten tired of acting. Tired of acting like she was a normal, living, breathing human. It was clear that her young mind knew that she was a living dead. Her granddaughter knew that she wasn’t normal in any way possible. Madam Ning thought that her being forced to act like something she wasn’t is what caused her sudden change of attitude. Maybe, she was always like this, or maybe, after figuring out that she would never fully be normal, gave up on even trying. If that was the case, even if she wanted to go to the garden party, maybe it was best that she didn’t go for the sake of having to fit in a mold that she was never going to fit in. Maybe it was better to have her travel the world with Ning Qian, allowing herself to fill the mold she was going to live in.

  “That would be for the best…”

  Madam Ning didn’t want to let go of the child or her son, but she knew that both of them weren’t meant for the noble life nor the life of a martial artist. For the two of them, it’s better if they were left to their own devices while wandering the world. If they were left to discover what they liked and what they dislike. They could meet new people while traveling the world. Of course, they’d have to come home every now and then, but for them, the path this family took wasn’t what was best for them. Of course, she’d miss them. After all, she never discovered her grandchild’s favorite food, flower, and poem. After knowing all of that, maybe then she’d be able to let them go on their way.