Kangaroo Court: Part Two?
The second case to be heard was one of infidelity. As it transpired, both Baron and Lady Untreu had been unfaithful. The Lord had slept with all the maids, and the lady with all the footmen. The Lord, however, kept trying to justify his actions; it wasn’t his fault; they came on to him; his wife’s pouch was beginning to sag. The lady, on the other hand, remained silent, allowing the Baron to dig his own grave.
The lady won the case. The Lord was sentenced to five years of celibacy, enforced by a burly roo, the first Elijah had seen to carry a weapon. He would watch over the Baron both day and night for the next five years to ensure his sentence was carried out.
After judgement had been passed, the room exploded into violent shouting once more. Elijah had learnt his lesson by this point and stood up to avoid being crushed. He was still thrown about by the rowdy mosh pit, but at least he didn’t break anything.
He had thought that Lady Wichtig would be vying for the next chance to be heard, as everyone else was, but she remained quiet. Her angry, smouldering eyes bored into the back of the oblivious Lord Siber’s head.
For his part, the flamboyant lord seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself. His silver suit sparkled as he threw himself gayly into the air, landing atop the crowd, starfishing as he crowd surfed. This only served to stoke the fire that was Lady Wichtig, but she still didn’t act. The Duchess's daughter had played these games before; she would only strike at the opportune moment.
Elijah caught sight of Lady Schwanz. She had been abandoned by her lord and left to fend for herself. She covered her bonneted head as kangarookin pounced and pawed all around her.
The teen, seeing the lady was in distress and that no one even dared approach his own date, given the flaming aura she was emitting, started towards Lady Schwanz, intending on giving her some assistance.
He never got the chance. He was slammed back down into his seat before even taking a step; the next person had been selected, and it was time for another grievance to be heard.
A slender roo swayed her way into the centre of proceedings. A skimpy red dress barely clung to her tail. She stopped in the very middle and took a moment to scan the gathered, quiet-for-now nobles, making sure each one of them had been seen.
Then, and only then, did she speak. A cigarette came and left her lips as she blew smoke across the audience, it floating, intermingling with the story that she told.
The Lady entered the crowd, and they remained engaged as she told her tale. Unlike most of the people here, she wasn’t actually born a noble. He had been born one of the poorest members of society, and she told it, clawed herself up rung by rung.
Then, one day, when she was working as a barmaid, she locked eyes with Lord Goldgr?ber. It was love at first sight. Her world was filled with flowers, and everything was a little brighter. In his presence, she knew everything would feel better.
Needless to say, they married the same day. However, on the carriage ride back to his estate, tragedy struck. Before she could even see her new home, the new Lady Goldgr?ber’s love was ripped away from her.
The horses bucked, and the carriage fell off a cliff, then exploded, then was crushed by falling boulders, and then a sinkhole opened up and swallowed the whole mess. Lord Goldgr?ber had just barely been able to push the lady out before tragedy struck.
Now, his relatives were claiming that the passion they shared was false and that she, Lady Goldgr?ber, was a gold digger, wanting to remove her from the family, strip her of the assets that rightfully belonged to her, and disown her.
This sent a ripple of shock through the crowd; all had been taken in by her spell, and none questioned her words. When an enraged lady, portly and bubbling over with anger, stood to protest the “lady’s” claims, she was immediately booed into silence.
After the audience blew up with anger and outrage at the injustice done to this innocent lady who had been wronged by fate, it was decided that Lord Goldgr?ber’s sister, the lady who had tried to argue the ensorcelling lady's case, should be stripped of all her rights as a noble and left out on the street as a pauper.
There was no debating; as soon as the mob decided that was the best course of action, it happened. The innocent woman was kicked out of the mansion before you could say injustice.
Elijah thought it might be the time for Lady Wichtig to bring up her grievance; the crowd seemed to be onside. She chose to stay silent as the crowd burst into shouting; her decision proved to be wise.
Whatever the previous lady had done to the gentry, when it wore off, made them thirsty for blood. No one seemed to care that the next noble to speak had all his horses stolen; they just wanted someone to punish, so he was flogged in front of the crowd and then clawed at by the masses when that wasn’t enough.
All that remained was blood and tattered flesh. That was when Elijah realised that surviving this Trial wasn't just about following rules of etiquette.
The ravenous kangarookin were forced back to their seats once more after the proceedings. There were a good number that looked regretful, and their mob's anger had definitely subsided.
Because of this, when the floor was opened to hear grievances once more, Lady Wichtig finally chose to act. She didn’t jump up and down, she didn’t shout about how she had been wronged, she simply caught Marquess Von Fotzen’s eye and nodded.
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He nodded back and pointed his gavel at her. The lady’s long black robe was sent flying, revealing not the yellow dress with pink flowers Elijah was expecting, but something that looked like it belonged on a modern-day businesswoman: Black blazer, white shirt, black trousers, and sensible shoes.
As she pulled a pair of reading glasses out of her pocket and lifted out some papers, Elijah was left speechless. He had no idea what was going on; when had she had the time to change? Why was she wearing such incongruous clothing? And why did the crowd actually seem to respect her as their eyes followed the roo across the court?
Lady Wichtig held up the paper and began to speak.
“This is a marriage agreement between House Wichtig and House Siber. I, Sehr Wichtig, the first daughter of House Wichtig, it is said, am to be wed to Schwul Siber. I appeal to the nobles of the land to have this agreement dissolved.”
Eyes turned to Lord Siber, who preened under the attention. No one interrupted, and Von Fotzen seemed surprised that he could actually say his lines:
“On what grounds do you call for it to be dissolved?” he asked.
Lady Wichtig whipped off her glasses dramatically and said:
“Infidelity!”
Her performance didn’t go unappreciated. A wave of gasps went through the crowd, and Lord Siber, who had been perfectly happy being the centre of attention, scrunched his brow as the gazes turned hostile.
There were shouts of “Cheater!” and “Ingrate!” but before it could get out of hand, Marquess Von Fotzen hit his gavel and silenced the crowd before asking the sparkling lord:
“Lord Siber, what say you in your defence?”
The young lord ground dramatically before striding out into the centre, turning around and looking at the crowd, meeting each of their silenced eyes.
“These accusations are completely false, I don’t even need to argue the point since the premise of the argument is flawed. Tell me, my peers, how could I have cheated, when this document clearly says we are to be married in two years time, we haven’t even begun courting yet!” Lord Siber exclaimed.
His revelation sent a fresh wave through the ladies and gentlemen, and all eyes turned to Lady Wichtig, eager to see her reaction.
“I’ll tell you how,” she began angrily, losing some of her composure. “That woman right there!” she shouted, pointing at Lady Schwanz.
The young lady seemed surprised she was pointed out and tried to shrink back out of the spotlight. It didn’t work; as soon as it was deemed she was involved, her black robe flew off, revealing her pink dress and purple bonnet, and she was forced out of the crowd and into the centre.
Lady Wichtig continued her explanation, calming down somewhat, “Today is the first day I have met Lord Siber, and we were supposed to attend this gathering together and announce our courtship. But he comes here, arm in arm with another woman—”
“Objection!” Lord Siber interjected. “I was not the first to arrive; Lady Wichtig was, and let the record show she was accompanied by another man!” the kangarookin exclaimed, swivelling around dramatically and pointing at Elijah.
A robe the teen didn’t even realise he was wearing jumped into the air, and he was thrust into the political arena before he could react. Elijah looked around at the crowd and was met with hostile glares in all directions. It was intimidating, and he gulped despite himself.
The audience was clearly loving the drama, and Lord Siber seemed to relish stirring the pot.
“She would rather attend the event with a human noble before going with me, and she would call me the villain?”
“Objection!” Lady Wichtig objected, “You left me waiting for an hour, and when I asked you about it, you said, ‘I wouldn’t be seen dead with you!’”
The crowd went wild, screaming and shouting in delight at the back and forth.
“Objection! Her dress looked even worse than that suit; how can I be blamed?” Lord Siber spat back.
Before Elijah knew it, what had been a civil debate devolved into insults and then scratching at one another. The teen shared a look with Lady Schwanz as they tried to remain unseen on the outskirts.
Given that two children of dukes were fighting, apparently it meant more. There was a call for a melee to help decide what should happen, and to the teen’s surprise, Von Fotzen agreed. The floor was opened to everyone, and soon, two factions formed as a brawl broke out.
Elijah was forced to Dodge, duck, and weave, but still he wasn’t able to escape the odd scratch.
Somehow, he found himself squaring off against a massive roo that was built like a tank. Elijah tried to dodge his tail swipe, but to his surprise, the kangarookin was too fast. The teen was sent tumbling into the crowd.
For a moment he was overcome and almost used a blood blade to cut the animal in two, but then reason prevailed. As Elijah dug his way out of the crowd, he noticed that the melee, though brutal, only involved physical attacks; no magic or Skills were being used.
That left Elijah with an impossible proposition. He realised, when the creature’s kick broke through his guard with ease and a rib was broken, that he couldn’t win this fight.
The kanagrookin was stronger than him, faster than him, and more skilled than him. No matter what he did, he was bested. His punches were blocked, his kicks ignored, and his feints seen through.
The crowd was no help either. Each time a stray attack entered the fray, it was inevitably aimed at him. It was as if they had it out for him. Leaving Elijah with the question: how’d you gets to kill a roo?
Remembering the old proverb, the teen felt stupid. He punched it in the balls, winning the fight instantly before heading over to see what had become of the lords and ladies who started this mess.
By the time he waded through the melee to its origin, things were already resolved. The marriage contract had been torn up; both Lady Wichtig and Lord Siber had decided to leave, and Von Fotzen and Lady Schwanz were talking excitedly.
Marquess Von Fotzen, seeing Elijah’s battered and bruised state, seemed to remember that there was a fight going on and all around them and smacked his gavel, sending everyone back to their seats before declaring shortly:
“The court is adjourned; you may leave,” before returning to his conversation with the lady.
Congratulations!
You have completed the Trial of Evolution 1: Kanagrookin
Grade: D
Objectives:
- Do not fail the Trial once: ?
- Bring an issue before the court: ?
- Fight fair: ?
Rewards:
You have earned the right to Evolve from a Kangarookin into 1 of 2 Power Vacuum Evolutions:
- Kangaroo Boxer
- Genitalman
Choose Now!
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