Chapter 7: Dream of Peach Blossom

  Endless wilderness all around, eerie and terrifying. Thunder boomed non-stop beside me, explosions everywhere, smoke filled the air, as if doomsday had arrived ahead of time. I ran wildly, desperately trying to escape, but was no match for a massive thunderbolt that struck my... butt with incredible precision!

  I was furious, pointing to the sky and cursing loudly: "Are you blind?! So many people should be struck by lightning, but instead it strikes my old man! If you're going to strike, strike accurately, don't just imitate others! Look clearly and come here!" I patted my own head, jumping up and down. Then a huge bucket-shaped lightning bolt (Ah! Does lightning even have this shape?) came from above and struck my head directly. Ah! It turns out that the previous thunder was just a test shot?!

  I collapsed to the ground in indignation. I have a lot of minor flaws, such as skipping school, sneaking peeks at H-books, and taking small advantages, but is this punishable by death?! Even if I'm worthless and should die, there are many people in this world who are also worthless, so why should only I be the one to die?!

  Then I saw an old man with a white beard descending from the sky along that beam of light "Wow, he can fly! He's a god!" I was stunned.

  "Answered correctly! I am a fairy!" The old man reported his name.

  "Alright alright... Are you a god or something? Even if I beg, please don't stand on my head! What's with that gaze?" Angry...

  "Sorry, the coordinates are wrong and the landing point is not quite right. This GPS is not very useful. I'll pay attention next time." The old man finally saw that I had stepped on his foot and quickly jumped up to stand in front of me.

  Sweat! Even gods use GPS?

  "Are you... uh... this... Meshiya... Ai?" The god asked me with a straight face.

  I fell. AV's are nothing, it's just a small Japan! It's still a woman!!! Still so angry for such a long time at such an old age!!!!! I'm furious again "Get the situation straight! I'm a big old man! How can you be so unfamiliar with business and still pretend to be a god?" I turned around behind the old man with full doubts, wanting to see if there was anything hanging from his body or somewhere else that could deceive me.

  "Oh? Ah......" The immortal's old face turned red, looking a bit embarrassed. He scratched his head and hesitated before pulling out a book from his bosom, flipping through it with a very unwilling expression.

  "Huh, you're not usually so eager to study, but now that it's urgent, you're trying to cling to Buddha's feet? I turned around and didn't see any special props or anything, so I'll believe you this once. "Master Immortal, since you've come all the way here from afar, shouldn't you have some good stuff to give me? Like gold, silver, jewels, a famous car, a luxurious mansion, or even a Moonlight Treasure Box...?"

  The immortal old man flipped the book over and turned a few pages, roughly finding the answer. He raised his head with a smile and said: "Oh, you're Ixyou! Ah, I guessed it right again! I'm really here to deliver treasures to you, look at this!" With a magical gesture, a rod-like object suddenly appeared in his hand, black, thick and large.

  I took it over and saw that the treasure was about a foot long, with a front end resembling a turtle's head, a fork below, and an electric wire connected to a battery box with a button at the other end. When I pressed the button, the thing suddenly came to life in my hand, twisting back and forth.

  What is this treasure? I'm puzzled.

  The immortal was startled and quickly snatched the treasure from my hand, hastily stuffing it into his bosom. He stuttered: "Uh, wrong, wrong... these past few days - oh no, not that... too many things, this and that got mixed up..."

  I looked at him with disdain, his face flushed with shame, and pulled out a flashlight from his body. Again! Why does this guy like to pull out stick-shaped things so much? The god seemed a bit guilty, speaking incoherently: "This...this is a treasure, that...that Dream Pen Blooming Flowers, you know? It's this..."

  "What's this and that? Still dreaming B? Pretend to be B?" I took the flashlight and looked at it from front to back, this treasure has hair on its head and a light on top. Oh, I thought it was a flashlight, but it turned out to be a pen with hair.

  "Hey! This is no ordinary brush, it's a divine brush!" The immortal gasped for breath and began to blow "Does Jiang Yan know? Does Wang Bo know? And that what's-his-name..."

  I'm fed up with people who always bring up some ancient figure to show off their knowledge. I have no interest in listening to him ramble on, so I interrupt him and say "I don't know, I've never heard of the people you're talking about. The only thing I remember from my childhood is that there's a god named Bajie Ma Liang, is he the one you're referring to?"

  "Divine Brush Ma Liang? That's a myth..."

  "Don't be ridiculous! Aren't you a god? Are you telling a fairy tale?"

  The language of the gods is blocked.

  "Awesome, God B! I'll first draw a Ferrari for him, then a luxurious villa, and finally a beautiful fairy sister...". Wiping the drool that had dripped down to my chest, I suddenly realized that I didn't know how to use a brush and probably couldn't even paint. So I quickly changed my tune: "No way, no way! This thing looks like it's wider in the front than the back, heavier on the left than the right - completely unqualified! I won't accept subpar goods for someone else... How about directly picking 10 lottery numbers worth 500 million? That doesn't cost you a dime..."

  With a snap, the immortal suddenly disappeared. I took a look and found that he had fallen to the ground. This guy's courage is so small, it doesn't seem like he's from a high-ranking family or something! He might just be some miscellaneous worker from heaven. The lottery numbers thing should involve some heavenly mechanism, let him operate, maybe not reliable. Can't do this project! So I picked up the immortal, dusted him off and continued to persuade him "Afraid? Afraid you can say it, so quietly sitting on the ground will crush the flowers... Hmm, how about this, like those YY guys, give me a few abilities, okay? Generally, they all have three, right? Let me think... just that one, turning stones into gold, and also the indestructible body of diamond, and also... ahaha... these three conditions are all with 'gold'! That's counted as one, what about two more?"

  The immortal disappeared again.

  I was looking down at the ground and wasn't paying attention, then someone snatched Baby B right out of my hands.

  Only to see the old immortal pushing his long beard onto his shoulder, revealing his true form, with a fierce aura, holding his pen and striking over. At the same time, he gnashed his teeth and cursed: "I'll beat you to death, you shameless stinky monkey! Stinky rascal! Who do you think you are? Today, I'm really going to serve you!"

  I cowered and fled! Aren't you a god from heaven? How can your quality be so poor - just like an official in the mortal world! The old man's hand was quick and dark, catching up to me and grasping my collar, slamming me on the head with one stroke. With a "peng" sound, golden light flashed before my eyes...

  ……

  I let out a loud cry and woke up from my dream in pain. In front of me, golden light was shining brightly - no, it should be the stars twinkling wildly.

  I picked up a black rod-shaped object from the ground that looked like a flashlight and almost threw it away. It was this treasure that had just fallen from the sky and hit my forehead.