While I'm lost in my menu, the two Glitches have approached me. I finally get a closer look at Mayonnaise's friend; it seems to be a mishappen cross of butterfly and bull wrapped in various cyborg implants all over, a lawn chair on its shoulder in which a missile sits, and a cannon for an arm with a "Bang"-flag hanging out of it.

  And both seem to be quite displeased with me, "There you are!"

  "Uh, so, how was your party?"

  "Medamn awful! Someone stole something important from my friend, and now she's cranky 'bout it. Plus they ruined her style. Just look at how ugly Battle B2 is now! Not that her new name isn't stupid..."

  The buttercow answers with about as many beeps in its voice as you can imagine, "That's enough, let me take this from here, M/Il1ce."

  If you filter away the beeping noises, it sounds quite familiar. I just can't put my finger on it.

  Wait, what did she call her? Battle B2? Like the labcoat-wearing minotaur I left behind trapped in stasis? What are the odds...

  "I'm exactly who you think I am."

  "Unlikely, I left that bug trapped as a boring greyscale statue."

  "Yes, and now I've finished my evolution. Feast your eyes on my marvelous new form as a Legacy!", it strikes a lame pose, and the garden chair almost falls off. Almost.

  "Dream on. But if that's true, why aren't you attacking me? We didn't exactly part on good terms."

  "Because that would be utterly pointless", it angrily stretches out its non-cannon arm, "Now give them back, and I'll turn a blind eye to your ruse. It's my own fault for falling for it in the first place."

  The half-beheaded chick chimes in, "Is that really how you want to play it?"

  "Fine, you win", begrudgingly I give the outdated Class Cores back to their previous owner. They didn't look too useful anyway, though it might've been worth a shot if I ever got out of here.

  She shrugs, "Hmmm, no that doesn't feel right, you make me feel like a dumb bully. You'll keep one for now, you've earned it for pulling one over me. I want to win it back properly, not a pity win."

  I'm not even sure what it is referring to. It tricked me into giving it a name...

  "Uh, right?"

  "The next war. You, me, whoever scores higher keeps the rocks. Deal?"

  Once again, M/Il1ce craves attention, "Are you out of your mind!?"

  BB2 answers, "That's nothing for you to worry about, pipsqueak."

  "Uh, so, what exactly happened to you? You look quite different, and when I left you were kind of frozen."

  "Frozen?", the mutated cow laughs sinisterly, "Do you mean the evolution cocoon? It is rare, but it happens for powerful Features when certain conditions are met, then they become a bonafide Legacy, the peak of our development. but so far it seems everyone has different triggers. Receiving a name must've been the missing condition for me", B2 angrily scowls at M-Alice, "Am I right, M/Il1ce? I guess I owe you for that one."

  What? But it looked exactly the same as the stasis for all the people in my fortress. Oh, fuck...

  The little girl screams again, "BOORRRING! Can we get the desecration started now?"

  "Nah, that's between you two usurpers. I have to train, get used to my new form. See you around, brats", BB2 fires a parting shot in the air and walks away.

  The projectile explodes in the air forming a skull. Subtle.

  "Uh, care to tell me why BB2 was angry with you?"

  "Because I lied to her. Ya know, my Feature power is to let other Features ignore ONE requirement for their development into a Legacy - btw, you're missing two. Well, I didn't have the heart to tell her that her last requirement is...", she facepalms, "making a friend."

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  "Uhuh, that's... relatable."

  That ability sounds utterly broken - in terms of the System, I guess the equivalent would be turning a level 1 peasant into a god with a dozen additional classes at level 100. Damn, why has everybody cheats besides me? You know, the reincarnated person who should have one? Ah, fuck it...

  But am I even allowed to complain? I could distribute Hybrid classes that weren't too shabby either.

  I try to break the remaining silence with a bit of small talk, "Uh, didn't you say that you'd meet with two others? Did the other one already leave?"

  M-Alice shrugs, "Still dead... Now can we finally go about our business? I want to go back to my vacation."

  Still dead? What is that about? Probably some personal business I don't want to hear about. Glitches seemingly can resurrect indefinitely and they play rough with each other without a second thought.

  "I don't know what the whole drama is about, I just need directions to my friend's home, nothing more, right?"

  "No, no. I heard something else. You want to desecrate the cradle. The nerve!"

  "There must be a mistake. I've no such plans. I only want to..."

  "Dunno, LARP? Don't take us for fools, little Glitchling. I have to give tours quite regularly because some 'genius' either thinks they can end the eternal war in one fell strike by corrupting the System, or has that weird idea they are still a Solid and reaching that place would somehow save the world, or something stupid like that, dunno. Everyone is always so unreasonable."

  "Now I understand even less about what is going on... But why do you have to give tours of that? Why not simply let them be?"

  "Because it is 'my' bedroom, duh. Or at least it belongs to someone I used to be, the b-witch Stella. Would you want some creep to run unchecked through your private rooms?"

  I guess this makes Malice the glitch version of Orpyne from a past universe. Is that why she's at least partially sympathetic to saving her Solid counterpart, or is she so bored out of her mind that she doesn't care as long as it is funny or entertaining in some fashion?

  "No, of course not. But what would you do if someone actually succeeded with their goal?"

  She sneers, "Succeed, huh? How about... nothing? Well, maybe take a pic and post it on antisocial media. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter one bit. We've been through so many loops of this war, that there are not enough atoms in the universe to count them, but they always end the same: complete annihilation of the Solids and a Hard Reset. Corrupting or saving the 'precious' System only changes the when but not the if."

  "I want to try anyway. I have to, I promised."

  She sighs, "Of course, that's why you're here ON MY MEDAMN DAY OFF!!!"

  "Sorry, I didn't know..."

  "Yeah, yeah, at least make it entertaining, ya hear me!? Or rather", she trails off.

  "What?"

  "It has been a long while since I gained a new sister. How about you try to infect my current Solid counterpart? I even have the perfect name for her! <3"

  "I'll have to decline that request. I promised her that I would save her."

  "Do you really believe that you have a choice in that matter? Just look at yourself. You're so strongly infected that a single touch would instantly corrupt her. If she's lucky she'll become one of us. If she's not one of the lucky ones in a billion, she'll suffer a fate much worse than death. Gotta flip that coin."

  If the odds are so bad, how am I here? Is it because of the Hybrid classes?

  I also have to wonder, "If simple contact from a grown Glitch is enough to corrupt anyone, how is there even a war in the first place? This should be a one-sided slaughter."

  She sighs deeply, "It is. Well, until my old master butts in. He's the only one that can fight us Glitches. But even that doesn't last long, we'll simply regenerate within a decade or two, instead of the usual seconds. By the way, that's why it is so empty around here currently. Anyway, he calls this a 'Hard Reset', and it seems to take a heavy toll on him, he usually has to hide for a considerable amount of time as well. If there's one thing you can say about him with utmost certainty, it is that he is very protective of my Solid counterpart Stella. This goes so far that if someone were to carelessly approach her there's no other outcome than a total war until nothing in the universe remains."

  I guess this means the Hard Reset they are talking about is related to the memory Elly told me about. The Glitches rise up, the master wipes out everything, man and glitch alike, and then resets the state of the universe via a backup. But with what I've learned it is all for nothing, the Glitches are inconvenienced only for a short time, every single one will return after a bit of recuperation. And then we have to consider that Glitches can corrupt more Solids, so every time their numbers only go up, never down...

  But it seems like the Glitches still assume I'm one of them, a potentially highly infective Glitch. But am I really? The Hybrid classes should prevent that, shouldn't they? Maybe I can get in there and still help "Stella" despite everything. It is worth a shot.

  I'm curious, "Why would you wait if this master is unable to act right now?"

  "Because we're not uncivilized brutes. People already made personal plans until then, it'd be rude to change the agreed-upon schedule on a whim, wouldn't it?"

  "But if you are her, don't you feel anything for the people living in that universe? Aren't they still your children in a way?"

  "Actually, I do feel pity for them", she grins sinisterly, "My 'children' still need to be freed from our master and be allowed to live free as Glitches and Features."

  "Forget it, I don't care about that. I want to try my thing. If it fails, you're free to try and convert Stella or whatever."

  The girl sighs, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get it over with so I can finally return to my vacation."

  "Guess I just have to win an impossible lottery then."

  She grins mischievously, "Yeah, go for it, it'll be good for a laugh at least. It is not like another omnicide is worth even a footnote in today's dairy."

  We finally get moving, and all things considered, it is a pretty uneventful journey from the beach over a barely visible path and straight through a glitch-spider-infested cave. I don't get why she complains about missing her vacation, this totally is like one. At least compared to the Godzilla-style overkill tanks.