It was nearly dawn when Nanoc re-entered the vampire’s tomb. The victory party had died down in the small hours of the morning and everyone else was asleep. Nanoc would have been, too, but the banana of mayhem was making a real nuisance of itself. It buzzed in the air and hummed annoyingly until the gnome knew the only way to get any sleep was to do what the magical fruit demanded of him. He’d followed it into the vampire’s manor, through the collapsed halls, down the wreck of stairs. He’d picked up a rusty axe on the way, and his little fire elemental perched on its shoulder, its flames lighting the way as the banana led him down, down, down to the vampire’s tomb.
“Where are you leading me?” he complained. “There isn’t anything down here anymore. Rotcel ‘Loc already stole all the good stuff.”
But he was wrong.
Rotcel had only stolen all of the crowns and jewelry, gold and silver coins, pearls and opals, paintings, statues, fancy feathers, sculptures of both rare woods and marble, vases, silk jackets, precious stones, semi-precious stones, shiny stones, and a whole collection of copper piping that had been part of the plumbing. She hadn’t stolen everything: she had left the floor, the walls, and most of the roof.
The banana led Nanoc to a nondescript part of the wall at the back of the tomb. There was nothing special about it. Rotcel hadn’t looked twice at it. The banana floated by the wall expectantly.
“You want me to… what, exactly?” Nanoc asked.
The banana gave a shrug as if to say. What was the one thing that Nanoc was really good at? The one thing he excelled at, his true power?
“You want me to go get a pie and eat it?” Nanoc guessed.
The banana shook itself.
“You want me to taunt the wall? Tell it that my granny is better at holding up the ceiling?”
The banana did not want that.
“You want me to… sign it? Notate it, draw it? Because I don’t do that clerk-class stuff anymore, you know.”
The banana shook itself again. If a fruit could sigh, it would have.
Nanoc smiled.
“Yeah, I know, I know. Gnome smash!”
Nanoc smashed his axe against the wall over and over until chunks of rock broke off. He kept going until the axe was destroyed, then he picked up bits of rock and used those as makeshift hammers. The wall collapsed, revealing a black hand floating in a crystal pillar.
The right hand of Chaos
When the gods imprisoned Chaos, they broke her body into seven fragments. One remains Above, the other six were cast down into the world Below to be hidden away so that they could never be reunited.
(Although apparently not hidden well enough. Someone is going to get iced when Order finds out about what you’ve done today).
This is the right hand of Chaos – she used it to create mortals, to cast great spells, and to pick her nose.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
The right hand of Chaos was as small as a goblin’s hand, black as night. Tendrils of fire floated over it like moving tattoos, and the hairs on Nanoc’s neck rose up. He’d felt this way before, when he’d met Muse at the end of his duel, but this was far more, far worse. The hand was power beyond measure. It made Nanoc want to start fires, to break down temples, to run amok through the world doing whatever he pleased. He wanted to be in the kind of stories that leave scars.
The hand floated, motionless. Was it even still alive?
Nanoc tapped on the crystal with his fist.
“Wakey wakey,” he said loudly. “Come on, I don’t have all night here.”
The hand did not move. Maybe it had laid still for so long that it had forgotten how to move. Perhaps it had given up on freedom, given up on returning to the world Below or the heavens Above.
“Well, I tried,” Nanoc said loudly. “I guess Order was right to lock this thing away. Order’s always right.”
That did it. The hand clenched, then raised a middle finger at Nanoc. It began to stretch, swimming through the air and knocking against the crystal shell that held it. The banana of mayhem buzzed a little louder and floated towards the crystal, but Nanoc grabbed it.
“Wait,” Nanoc said, holding onto the banana. “Before I use this banana to free you… I have to know: Are you… evil?”
The hand of Chaos flattened out and made a ‘sometimes’ gesture. Chaos was both the flame that warmed and the flame that burned, she was tales of joy and tales of tears, she was heartbreak and hope, she was destruction, creation, and everything in between. Was she evil?
No. She was Chaos.
The banana of mayhem wriggled out of Nanoc’s fingers and pressed itself against the crystal pillar that had held the hand of Chaos a prisoner for so long.
“Wait!” Nanoc said.
It was too late. There was a flash, and a wave of energy picked Nanoc up and tumbled him backward over the hard stone ground and into the far wall. His head hit the stone wall with a crack.
“Ouch,” he complained. “What was that for?”
The hand rose up and slapped Nanoc hard across the face.
You have been marked by Chaos!
Chaos, first of the gods, has marked you as her own. Is this a blessing or a curse? Even Chaos doesn’t know for sure.
This grants you five levels in barbarian and ten levels in clerk.
New skills: tell epic tales, fire-proof, magic-proof, epic filing
New abilities: fire starter, chain breaker, tick all the boxes
The hand of Chaos waved, then exploded into flames that washed over Nanoc but did not burn him. His heart was filled with rebellion and the sheer joy of life, his head filled with stories and adventures, his toes crinkled in pleasure as the flame healed him all the way down to his soul. Then the hand was gone, leaving Nanoc feeling awed at the sheer power it had held.
“That was amazing!” Nanoc shouted. Then the reality of what had just happened hit him. “Why did it make a better clerk? I don’t want that! Give me more levels in barbarian or something useful!”
The hand of Chaos was gone. It wouldn’t have changed its mind, anyway… unless it did. Chaos could be as fickle as flame or as final as ash. Today it had places to go.
It had left the banana of mayhem lying on the ground, limp and a little overripe from exertion. Nanoc picked it up and slid it back into its holster on his belt.
Quest partially complete: Free Chaos!
You have found the hand of Chaos and set it free! The world Below and the universe Above shudder at the power that has been released!
Gain five levels in barbarian.
But you aren’t done. There are at least two more books quests to complete! Find the remaining pieces of Chaos and set them free or DIE TRYING!
Note: This is a still legendary quest. It’s probably only going to get harder from here on in, really.
“Hey,” Nanoc said, smiling from ear to ear. “I did it! Dren! Rotcel! Wait until you hear about this!”
Nanoc the gnome barbarian had done the impossible.
And he was only getting started.
THE END… FOR NOW!
Nanoc and his friends in will return in Nanoc the Gnome & the Snail of DOOM!
