Chapter 19

  SIZZLE

  The disk of the earth spun in a sea of blackness. The moon peeked out from behind the earth. Kelton found himself seated next to Zenek on the solar collector array of a satellite 30,000 miles above the Earth. The sun hung in the sky behind them.

  Kelton was astounded. “Breathtaking” was all he could manage to say.

  Zenek laughed. “That word doesn’t really apply, but it is amazing, isn’t it?”

  “Hold on. I tried to travel to the moon earlier. Why couldn’t I do it? How did we get here?”

  “Does a baby walk before it crawls?” asked Zenek. “Let’s focus on today's lesson. Tell me, what do you know about satellite communication, specifically about signal-to-noise ratios?”

  “Well, the satellite receives a signal from the earth, amplifies it, and relays the signal to the ground.”

  “How powerful is that amplifier?”

  “They range between 2 and 20 watts. Really not terribly powerful. The bulb in a nightlight is more powerful than a lot of the transmitters on this satellite.”

  “You have gotten right to my point. So, what is illuminated by this transmission?”

  “Everything in its beam path. Everyone and everything. Entire continents”

  Zenek put his hand on Kelton’s shoulder again.

  SIZZLE

  Kelton now found himself in a large antenna farm. There were many satellite antennas pointed at the sky.

  “So, let’s jump to the point. How do these antennas apply to your dilemma?”

  “We are irradiated by hundreds of satellites every time we step outside. However, in order to get a usable signal, we need to focus on the signal source. But there are so many other objects producing noise in the electromagnetic spectrum, the listener has to be tuned in and focused on the sender.” As Kelton turned the ideas over in his mind, he began to be overwhelmed by the difficulty he faced in getting a message to Gillian. “It’s going to be just about impossible, isn’t it?

  “Difficult, yes. But not impossible.” Said Zenek. “Many events need to converge. All you have to do is try to communicate with her when 1. She is thinking or focused on you. 2. Her mind is quiet enough that you aren’t competing with ideas, music, television, or conversations. 3. Her mind isn’t on other things like hunger, fatigue, and stress. Anger could get in the way as well. Emotions create a lot of noise. These are all things that introduce noise into the signal, and like the satellite transmitter, your signal is very weak indeed - compared to everything else going on around her. You know her better than anybody. When is her mind the quietest?”

  “Probably when she is just waking up.”

  “That sounds like a good time to me. I encourage you to try it then.”

  “What about when she is asleep? Can I appear to her in a dream?”

  “You can try. A baby can make the occasional brick while playing in the mud. That is a pretty advanced procedure. I don’t hold out much hope for success.”

  “You have the experience! Can you give her my message?”

  “How much focus has she given me in the past? She isn’t tuned in to me any more than the billions of people who have lived and died. There’s really no hope for communication.”

  “But Dr. Cohen said he had some influence on me. Why can’t you influence Gillian the same way?”

  “Dr. Cohen had been waiting decades for someone with objectives similar to his. You weren’t focused on him, but you were both focused on solving the same problems. Your unity in problem-solving created a conduit between you. You did spend a lot of time mulling over your research, no?”

  Kelton reluctantly admitted that that made sense.

  “You have a few hours before she wakes up. Would you like a guide in your explorations?”

  “Where should we go?”

  “That depends on what you want to learn.”

  Kelton closed his eyes. Struggling with his thoughts. “I want to see God. Can you take me to God?”

  “Are you ready for that?”

  Kelton felt suddenly angry. “Why shouldn’t I be ready? When I read accounts of near-death experiences, the reports always include music, love and light, beautiful colors, beautiful scenery, and beautiful buildings. They encounter a being of pure love who meets and guides them. They meet relatives who have passed on. Don’t get me wrong, I've seen a lot of amazing things, but I have seen nothing that inspires me to believe in God.”

  “Ma' ma'alob a ka'aj? No kidding? What do you see?” asked Zenek in surprise.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  “Everything is dark, like twilight, in shades of gray. I see no colors. I can tell if a light is on or off. I can tell there is a sun or a moon in the sky, but it gives no more light than the moon. Every object projects its own pale light. People seem to produce their own slightly brighter light. Your light is somewhat brighter than mine, but nothing like I would have expected it to be. Everything looks normal, just darker.”

  “So why are you not receiving the projections that others claim to be getting?”

  “Why won’t you answer my questions?” exploded Kelton. “All I get from you is more questions!”

  “Why are you asking questions that you already know the answer to? The answers are there inside you.”

  Completely frustrated, Kelton pleaded. “How about just a clue? Just a hint of where I should be looking, what I should be thinking!”

  Zenek chuckled and asked, “What other purpose could I have with my questions?”

  He had walked right into that. Slowly, he shook his head and laughed at himself. “OK. We will come back to that.”

  “Let’s try another approach.” Said Zenek. “While you have been on this side, did you ever feel in touch with the infinite?”

  “ There was a beautiful moment when I found out that Gillian was pregnant. I couldn’t see them, but I felt the presence of family. My grandparents, Gillian’s family. There may have been thousands of family members there. I can’t describe it. It was a wonderful moment. My focus was shifted when I saw the light from the baby in Gillian's abdomen.”

  “So, was the family gathering a short-lived event? Or did you get a glimpse into ‘the way things are’ in eternities? Don’t feel like you need to answer that today, but I do want to know - why were you able to experience it?”

  “Because that’s where my focus was, and for a short time, all the noise and distractions fell away.” acknowledged Kelton.

  “It’s really kind of simple, isn’t it?

  “Can’t you even confirm my answer without making it a question?”

  “Now your answers are questions! Do you think it’s contagious?” Zenek said with a wink.

  “So, take me to God,” Kelton said, getting back to the subject.

  “When you are ready.” Zenek put his hand on his shoulder.

  SIZZLE

  They stood in the center of a Black tie state event. The US president was there. There were world leaders milling through the crowds; kings, queens, and dignitaries of all sorts were talking, laughing, and drinking wine. Celebrities and stars with a connection to green energy were everywhere. Speechless, Kelton walked through mingling crowds with Zenek close behind him.

  Zenek said, “Oh, and look over there. There is Shawn Qu and Jesse Jenkins.”

  Kelton was awestruck. “I have always wanted to meet them. Their work is amazing!”

  Zenek continued. “ They are being honored for their work in solar energy generation. Let’s pretend that you are going to meet them, the president, and everyone else here. You get to discuss your work with them. How would you feel about that.”

  “I would be excited and very nervous. I really don’t think I fit in here. At least not yet.”

  “Look at your shoes.”

  Kelton looked down at his shoes. They were scuffed and dusty. A hole in his sock was visible through a tear in the toe cap. Kelton instinctively tried to hide the hole.

  “How about that stain on your shirt?”

  Kelton threw his hands back and looked at the tuxedo shirt he was now wearing. There was a large smear of mustard just below his bowtie. Kelton pulled his lapels, trying to cover the stain. The stain remained prominent.

  “And what about that tear in your pants?”

  Kelton twisted himself to be able to see his backside. A large three-corner tear flapped at his thigh. “ My bare butt is hanging out! Let’s get out of here!”

  Kelton couldn’t remember ever feeling so exposed. He was certain that everyone in the room was aware of his clothing, and they were politely ignoring him. It was worse than the schoolboy dreams of presenting a report at the front of the class and realizing he was in his underwear.

  “Don’t you want to meet Jenkins and Qu?”

  “Not looking like this!” Kelton huffed.

  “Do you think they would not be happy to meet you?”

  “I’m sure they are perfectly nice people who would be very interested to hear about my work. But I won’t be able to think clearly. I don’t fit here. I’m out of my league. I’m not prepared! Let’s get out of here!”

  “Relax, they can’t see you or me. And your clothes are fine. It was just a little object lesson.” Once again, Zenek put his hand on Kelton’s shoulder.

  SIZZLE

  Kelton and Zenek were once again shoulder-to-shoulder with the crowds outside the western wall in Jerusalem.

  “What was all that about?” asked Kelton.

  “The very same question I was about to ask you. You wanted a hint. I gave you a hint.”

  “I have never felt so naked, exposed, vulnerable, and ashamed in my entire life.”

  “How would you like to spend the rest of eternity feeling like that?”

  The thought filled Kelton with horror.

  “Now ask yourself: What if instead of the beautiful and important people of the world, you were going to approach the most beautiful and loving Being in the universe? One whose love will overwhelm and fill you with the certain knowledge that you are not worthy to be in that presence. Your every flaw exposed to God’s penetrating gaze. He wants you there, but you cannot stand to be there. You think the mustard stain was bad? What about the stain that every petty or selfish act has left on your psyche? The corners cut, the anger and violence that you have expressed. Your memory of your entire life is more accessible to you than ever before. Do you have memories of anything that you are ashamed of?”

  Thousands of incidents, maybe even tens of thousands of dirty little deeds and secrets, flashed through Kelton’s vision. He desperately tried to keep them to himself.

  “Don’t worry,” Zenek said. “I don’t want to know. I have enough of my own to remember. Every dirty secret you have is laid bare when you meet God. It’s just the way things are. You have forgotten nothing. It's all there, and nothing can be hidden from God. You felt shame when you thought your backside was hanging out. How will you feel when that shame is multiplied by factors of millions and billions?”

  “That would be hell.”

  “Yes, it would,” confirmed Zenek.

  Kellan protested, “If there is a God, and God loves me, why would he make me feel that way?”

  “Can you imagine that a loving God would want you to feel that way?”

  “No.”

  Deke felt like Zenek was looking into his heart when Zenek said, “Neither can I. But before you conclude that this is proof that there is no God or God doesn’t love us. You already know there is a way to be reconciled- to clear your conscience. Try to remember what that would be. You are on the right path. It’s an important one.”

  Kelton was silent.

  Zenek broke the silence. “Let’s try out another path of inquiry. Is there another explanation that reconciles the two thoughts? Directly to the point - does God get everything he wants?”

  Once again, Kelton felt like he was peeking over the edge of his flat earth.

  “I will leave you with that question.’ Zenek clapped his hands together. “This might be a good time you went back to your wife. She will be waking up soon. Can you apply what you have learned that you already knew?”

  “Will you come with me?”

  “Do you need me to?”

  Kelton thought it over and then smiled. “Are you ever going to stop answering my questions with questions?”

  “Would you find that useful?” Zenek asked with a wink of his eye. “Good luck! I hope you can get out of your box in time for your hearing. It’s just 9 hours away now.” With that, Zenek was gone.

  Kelton thought of Gillian.