38 – Passenger

  Ward’s sister looked at him and frowned, folding her arms over her chest. “I understand why you think you need to lose yourself in your work,” she sighed, “but burying yourself in other people’s problems isn’t going to make Andrea change her mind.”

  Ward looked up from his file, annoyed that everyone acted like he’d chosen to bring work home with him on Thanksgiving. “Em, don’t. I’m not in the mood.”

  “It’s just…I think you’re trying to hide from your problems. What about your anima? What about the wolf living under your skin? How are you going to live with killing all those people, Ward?”

  Ward dropped the manilla file folder and looked at his sister, his mind suddenly jumbled, confused by the intersection of two different lives. How did Emma know about the wolf? How did she know about…

  “Ward? Talk to me!”

  Ward looked from Emma to the case file on the carpet, then to the kitchen, where his grandma was checking the turkey. “Wait…grandma died…”

  “Ward!” Emma’s voice sounded strange, and he jerked his gaze back toward her. Her eyes stared at him, intense and fiery. No, not fiery—her eyes were literally filled with flames… “Ward!”

  Something shook Ward violently, and he jerked his eyes open, startled out of his fitful sleep. He almost fell out of the chair he’d fallen asleep in, disoriented by the dim, wood-paneled room, but when he saw Grace leaning over him, her fists clenching his shirt, everything came rushing back to him. “Grace?” he rasped, swallowing to get moisture into his throat. “Where have you been?”

  “Ward! We’ve got to do something about your bloodline; it’s—it’s burying me! I was afraid I wouldn’t make it out this time!”

  “Mmph,” Ward grunted, sitting up, his back and neck stiff from the chair. He glanced at his prisoner, still bound, hooded, and gagged, lying on the floor near the door. Ward had insisted on watching Keene in the little study while the others got some sleep. The cabin had two bedrooms, and the three of them could have doubled up in any number of combinations, but Ward hadn’t felt sleepy after eating—or so he’d thought. “My back,” he groaned, standing up to stretch, kneading the muscles of his lower back with his thumbs.

  “I’m serious, Ward! Weren’t you worried about me?”

  “You couldn’t see or hear or anything? Yeah, we were all worried.”

  Grace turned and paced toward the door and back again. “I couldn’t! It was like I was stuck in a damn closet! I think the wolf sleeps when you sleep, so I was able to slip out and—”

  “The wolf is me, Grace,” Ward interrupted. “We’re not separate people. It’s just a side of me.”

  “How do you know?”

  Ward felt hot irritation rising in his chest. “Because I’m living it, dammit. I can feel these things. When the wolf comes out, I’m still here. I can think and feel—all of it.”

  “Then why the fuck are you locking me in a dark corner of your mind?” She clenched her fists, trembling, and Ward knew she wanted to punch him or maybe just lash out in general. He knew her, though, and she looked more worried—scared, even—than angry. The fire in her eyes wasn’t bright enough for anger.

  “Well,” Ward sighed, stooping to check Keene’s pulse—slow and very weak, “I guess that part’s not a conscious thing. Lisa thinks the wolf is a very dominant side of my psyche, that when it emerges and asserts itself, I, instinctually, cannot tolerate a, um, passenger.”

  “You understand how that’s a problem for me, right? Also, half the time, you talk about the wolf like it’s a separate entity, so don’t give me shit for—”

  “Grace!” Ward moved over to her and grasped her shoulders, for the first time noticing she wasn’t wearing her suit jacket, just a clean white shirt and tie. She felt surprisingly soft under that thin shirt, her flesh warmer than he’d expected. Suddenly, it dawned on him that he rarely touched Grace. She touched him all the time, to the point where he’d stopped caring, but he—he didn’t treat her like a person very often. He looked into her eyes and saw real, human fear there. “Why are you so scared? Is it so bad getting a time-out now and then?”

  “It’s terrifying! I’m afraid I’m going to get lost in there, that I’ll lose the ability to emerge. I felt weak and drained. I get my vitality from you, Ward. If I didn’t have a host, I’d obviously be bodiless, but ambient mana could sustain me. When you lock me away, I don’t feel anything!”

  “So what do I do?”

  “I-I don’t know. Maybe…” She looked up at him, her eyes pooling with tears. “Maybe I need a different host.”

  Ward’s stomach dropped at the suggestion, and he couldn’t make sense of the jumble of emotions her words evoked. While his mind raced, he pulled her into a tight embrace, further stymied by how good it felt when she wrapped her arms around him, returning the gesture. “Why does that make me sad?” he mumbled, cradling the back of her head and nuzzling his cheek into her pale blonde hair.

  “Ward, I don’t want to leave you!”

  “I know, I know. I’ve gotten pretty damn used to you, too, I guess. C’mon, shh. We’re gonna think of something.”

  “Promise?” she mumbled against his chest, and Ward felt another wave of emotion make his throat tight. He didn’t speak but hugged her tighter. She squeezed him back, and he held her there for several long seconds before she abruptly pushed against his chest and squinted her eyes up at him. “You feel different!”

  “I mean, I went through a lot when I drank that bloodline potion—”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Not the wolf. There’s something else…something—Ward! I think you have anima again!”

  “What? How…” Ward let his mind drift over the hectic, sleepless days since he’d last spoken to Grace, and his eyes widened as he snapped his fingers. “The sorcerer!”

  “The sorcerer?”

  “Yeah, shit—you missed a lot.” Again, Ward stooped and felt Keene’s pulse. When it seemed the same as before, he stood, grabbed his backpack, and left the room, walking out to the quiet main room of the lodge where the remains of the fire they’d earlier lit glowed in the darkness. “I don’t want that little shit to listen to me talk to ‘myself’ if he’s a good faker.”

  “Who is he?”

  Ward sat in a big, overstuffed leather chair, eschewing lighting any lamps; he could see fine in the dim light, and he liked knowing that, should anyone creep up on him, they’d have to contend with the dark. He nodded to the oversized ottoman in front of him. “Sit down, and I’ll tell you everything.” Grace complied, and ten minutes later, he finished with, “…and now I’m going to use the hemograph to see if you’re right about my anima.”

  Grace stared at him while he rooted around in his backpack, her eyes matching the smoldering coals in the fireplace. “You didn’t gain anything special from Nevkin.”

  “He wasn’t a real sorcerer. He had to rely on the mana-well, remember?”

  “This is…this is something rather groundbreaking, Ward. If a sorcerer can harvest anima from other sorcerers…” She trailed off, and as Ward lifted out the hemograph and set it on the ottoman beside her, he nodded.

  “Yeah, it has a lot of implications.” He opened the lid and, without hesitation, jammed his finger into the slot until it clicked and the needle stuck him. He hardly registered the pain, though whether he was more tolerant since his last use of the device or simply knew it was coming and didn’t react the way he used to, he didn’t know. Grace joined him, staring at the weird aetherflux as it roiled about, glowing with faint blue luminescence. A few seconds later, it began to arrange itself into his reading:

  Previous reading detected – Earlier values displayed in brackets.

  Bloodline: Evolved Human – Aetherborn traces, Lycan prominence, *Unknown* traces

  Accumulated Mana: 1288 [400]

  Mana Distribution: Natural – No allocation enchantments detected

  Mana Well: Tier 3 – 91% [88%] to next tier, Enhanced regeneration – minor

  Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

  Mana Sensitivity: Tier 4 – Bloodline dependent

  Mana Pathways: Tier 5 – Bloodline dependent, *Unknown* artifact influence detected

  Vessel Capacity: Tier 4 – Bloodline dependent

  Vessel Durability: Tier 3 – 33% [27%] to next tier, Enhanced healing – notable, Enhanced bone density – moderate

  Vessel Strength: Tier 3 – 62% [58%] to next tier, Enhanced physical power – notable

  Vessel Speed: Tier 3 – 16% [11%] to Next tier, Enhanced reflexes – moderate

  Longevity Remaining: 85% – Tier-3 depletion rate (approximate)

  Anima Heart: Tier 1 – Emerging [Closed], Pathways detected

  Anima: 5/100

  “Holy shit,” Ward breathed, reading the last couple of lines. “Five of a hundred? Why doesn’t it just say five percent?”

  “That’s a great question. Considering the hemograph uses percentages for other things, I think it—I think it means you can get more than a hundred; it’s intentionally not a percentage.”

  Ward scowled, staring at the reading some more. “Maybe if I can rank up my ‘anima heart,’ whatever the hell that is?”

  “Yeah, maybe. Ward, this is huge! I don’t know how much anima you need to open the veil for your soul, but—”

  “But I’m on the right track. Five is better than none.”

  “Hey, Grace,” Haley said from the hallway, following the words with a yawn and a stretch.

  “Haley!” Grace leaped to her feet. “I’d hug you if I could!”

  Haley, still stretching, smiled and walked into the room. “We were worried about you.” She walked over to the heavy, two-layered curtains and pulled them wide, letting in a broad swath of gray daylight. Ward squinted his eyes at the sudden brightness, and then he laughed. “I forgot it was daytime.”

  “Barely,” Haley replied, peering through the glass at the sky. “Seems like a storm’s coming.” She turned back to Ward and Grace. “So? Are you okay, Grace? Where were you?” Before Grace could respond, Haley saw Ward putting away the hemograph and asked, “Another reading? Any particular reason?”

  “Yeah,” Ward replied, pointing to the vacant spot on the ottoman beside Grace. “Sit down, and I’ll tell you everything.”

  She walked over, but before she sat, she peered toward the dark hallway. “What about Keene?”

  “Don’t worry about him.” Ward tapped his ear. “I’ll hear it if he gets rambunctious in there. Grace’s situation is a lot like we speculated. The wolf is suppressing her somehow, and she doesn’t like it.”

  “I don’t like it, but more than that, I’m worried about what will happen. Will it get worse? Will I get stuck? I don’t want to leave Ward, but—”

  “I told you, Grace, we’re going to figure this out. I just need to figure out a way to get the wolf part of me to stop driving you away.”

  “The wolf knows me,” Haley interjected, “Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, try to remember that Grace is a part of your, um, pack?”

  Ward shook his head, shrugging. “I don’t know. I’d think so, but it’s not like I consciously do anything to her. It’s just—"

  “Ward,” Grace interjected, “you said you can still think and feel when the wolf comes out, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So, maybe you need to decide to let me out consciously. I mean, when the wolf is out or dominant—however you want to label it.” She reached out and took his wrist, and Ward looked into her eyes and tried to smile reassuringly. He twisted his hand until he could grasp her hand in his.

  “Look, I know we’re super distracted right now, but I want you to know I’m taking this seriously. If that’s our best idea by the time I change again, then you better believe I’ll try it. Okay?”

  Grace seemed lost for words as she broke eye contact, looked down, and nodded. Ward couldn’t feel her emotions the way she, supposedly, could feel his, but he knew there was more to her emotional behavior than being scared. She was feeling something, and so was he. He hadn’t thought he cared about her the way he obviously did. He didn’t think he’d feel almost like a friend or lover or, hell, a family member was leaving him when she’d suggested finding another host. When she’d said the words, though, there wasn’t any denying it felt like a punch in the gut. He didn’t want to lose her.

  Ward blew out a pent-up breath and leaned back, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. He had a lot to think about. Setting Grace’s situation aside, he’d regained some anima, which meant he was on the road to regaining his chance at whatever came after this life. It was a lot to digest, and, thinking that, he remembered he needed to fill Haley in. While Grace sat quietly, he did so, explaining what had happened with the other sorcerer, how his mana had been richer than usual, and how it seemed to restore some of his anima.

  When he finished, she got even quieter than Grace, staring into space. Ward imagined her mind was racing. “Hey,” he asked, lowering his hands, “you okay, Haley?”

  “I’m good, Ward. Excited, even. You’ve just proven that it’s possible to regain anima. I’m not sure how I can—”

  Ward grabbed her hand, “We’ll figure that part out. For all we know, as you gain more Gopah ranks, this shit will become trivial for you.” He took Grace’s hand again and sat there looking between the two women. “We’re going to figure it out one step at a time, and right now, the next step is to find out what that little creep in the study knows.”

  “Shall we try to wake him?” Haley asked.

  Ward glanced at the clock, saw it was an hour from noon, and nodded. “Yeah. I’ll drag him out here. Can you go and get Lisa?”

  Haley nodded and headed for the hallway. Ward walked the other way, past the spartan kitchen to the little study. He found Keene still lying on his side, but his breathing seemed more vibrant. Ward drew his knife, slashed the cords around his feet, and then sliced through the gag so he could pull the man’s hood off. He wasn’t too surprised when Keene opened his eyes and gasped, inhaling shakily as the rush of cool air on his face roused him. “C’mon, buddy. Time to talk.”

  “Wha-where?” Keene spluttered.

  Ward grabbed him by the upper arm and hauled him to his feet. The man sagged and nearly fell immediately, so Ward got ahold of his other arm, holding him steady as he growled into his ear, “You remember who I am? Remember what you were doing before you got knocked out?”

  Keene’s eyes widened, and he looked at Ward briefly but immediately turned his gaze down. “I remember.”

  “Well, this is one of those situations where you’re going to get a chance to save at least a part of your hide by talking. You seem like a guy who’s good at talking, Keene. Is that right?”

  Keene cleared his throat, grunting as Ward propelled him toward the door, but then he said, “I can see you feel you’ve got the upper hand here. Rest assured, however, my good man, that there are those who will lay waste to your family line should anything untoward befall me!”

  “My family line, huh?” Ward shoved him into the hallway and half carried, half propelled him past the kitchen and into the living area. Lisa stood with Haley by the window, and Grace lurked near the fireplace, peering at Keene with a deep orange flicker in her eyes. “Sit down.” Ward shoved Keene toward the couch, and he stumbled into it, falling sideways. Red-faced, he struggled to get into a sitting position with his hands tied behind his back.

  Ward left him there on the couch, walked over to Haley and Lisa, and spoke in a near whisper, “Stay over here, behind him. It’ll make him nervous wondering what you’re doing back here.”

  “You don’t need me to…” Lisa trailed off, probably trying to think of how her knowledge as a member of the Oathbound would help Ward question Keene.

  Ward smiled and winked at her. “Just listen, and if you think I miss something, stand by the hallway and gesture for me to come over.” She nodded, and Ward walked back across the rug to the couch, stepping around to face Keene. He sat on the coffee table, his knees just inches from Keen’s, driving home the difference in size—Keene wasn’t a large man. “All right, no more empty threats. Take a look at my eyes, Keene, and tell me if you think I’m afraid of you or your people.” Ward leaned close, knowing his strange half-blue, half-yellow eyes, backlit by the mana he’d accumulated, ought to make any non-sorcerer nervous.

  “You think you’re the only sorcerer with a knife at my throat? Do your worst; It’s better than what my employers will do.”

  “Oh, I dunno about that.” Ward almost reached for the wolf, willing it to the forefront so he could growl more menacingly or maybe even sprout some fangs and really change the way his eyes looked, but he saw Grace over in the corner and held off. Instead, he drew his knife and rested it on his knee. “I can get pretty creative.”

  Keene sat up straighter, and a little steel entered his voice as he narrowed his thick gray eyebrows over his surprisingly clear, sharp blue eyes. “You realize I made my fortune killing and breaking men a hell of a lot meaner than you, right? If you knew who my employer was, you’d—”

  “Who? Dame Ruby? Or do you mean the Oathbound?” Ward glanced at Lisa, about to make a gamble, voicing a suspicion that had been slowly building in the back of his mind, itching to come out. “Or maybe you mean The Circle of Thorns? I mean, in Westview, at least, they’re all the same thing, right?”

  Keene’s eyes widened, and he swallowed. “Very good; you’ve surprised me. I didn’t know you were so well-informed.” Ward smiled grimly at the confirmation and glanced again at Lisa, only to see she’d looked away, her arms folded as she gazed out the window. He supposed it was a lot to take in; if the Oathbound were compromised in Westview, where had her father stood? What about her mentor, Thiel? He looked back at Keene.

  “Yeah, well, so far, your little cult buddies, at least here on Cinder, have been embarrassingly amateurish. Sonder Yates, Nevkin the ‘warlock,’ that loudmouth Raymond LaCorte, and hell, all of your thugs that I’ve killed. Even your high-end hunters, the ones you had to hire out of pocket, went down pretty easily. You telling me Dame Ruby’s got all the dangerous cult members hanging around her? Those are the people I ought to be scared of? If so, why’d she send your pathetic little crew after me?”

  Ward was trying to play on Keene’s pride, trying to get a reaction out of him, and it worked—better than he’d anticipated. Keene’s eyes filled with darkness, and he hissed like an actual snake, straining against the rope binding his hands. To Ward’s surprise, the rope creaked and popped like he might succeed. Ward didn’t hesitate; he swiped out with a heavy palm, slapping the side of Keene’s face with a resounding crack. The man reeled, his efforts halted by the stunning blow, and when he blinked and looked at Ward, the darkness was gone from his eyes.

  “You’ll regret that!” he coughed, shaking his head, clearly still stunned, his ear likely ringing from the blow. Ward looked past him to Lisa and Haley; they stared back with wide, surprised eyes. A bit of movement to the left caught his attention, and he saw Grace practically dancing, waving a hand for him to come over.

  “Haley,” he grunted, “put this guy’s hood back on.” When she hurried to retrieve the hood, Ward grabbed Keene’s chin and turned his face toward him. He stared at his blue eyes, almost wondering if he’d been seeing things. He was sure they’d gone black, though—whites and all—when the man had tried to break his bonds. “You try that again, and I’ll have to get more creative with your bindings. I promise you won’t like it.”

  “Here,” Haley said, stuffing the hood back over Keene’s head.

  “Thanks. Watch him. I’ll be right back.” Ward walked out of the room to the kitchen, and as soon as he cleared the doorway, Grace was there.

  “He’s got a passenger!”

  “Huh? Like you?”

  “Not like me, Ward. Something far worse.” She shivered. “I don’t think he’ll be very cooperative. Whatever’s along for the ride in that man is cruel and dark. I can feel it and sort of see it. It’s like a shadow clings to him.”

  “So what do we do? Dump him in a hole somewhere and give up on gathering intel?”

  Grace shook her head. “No, Ward! We need to banish it. Once Keene is free, I think you’ll find him much more cooperative.”

  “And you know how to—”

  Grace reached up and gently patted his cheek, smiling slyly. “Naturally, I do! Call Lisa; this will take some preparation.”