The next morning Jane and I packed up and headed out to a certain building that was almost, but not quite downtown. We picked up the package and headed for I-5. It was promising to be another hot day. August here can occasionally be in the low 100s, but today it was predicted to be no more than 92. It looked like there would be some cloud cover, at least for the morning, so we didn't stop anywhere but got right on the freeway.

  What Mama really means is that I talked her out of grabbing a dozen donuts on the way to the freeway. So there!

  There wasn't much traffic southbound that early so we made good time down past Enchanted Forest and Willamette Valley Vineyards. Just as we hit the flat I saw someone behind us weaving in and out of traffic like a madman. Pretty soon I saw why. There were lots and lots of flashing lights weaving right behind him.

  I slowed down and pulled over to let the parade go past. Fortunately everyone else did too. There's usually some idiot who doesn't watch behind himself or who doesn't care, but not today -- thankfully.

  After they'd passed by, I felt something like a little like a tug on my hand, so I pulled out and put on a bit of speed. Jane looked a question at me, I shrugged, and we kept on at about 75 mph.

  After we crossed the Willamette River and got up toward the curves leading to Albany I saw that the object of the police's intentions had screwed up somehow and had rolled his car. It looked like the airbags had all deployed. I pulled over into the median and stopped.

  "Mama, what are you doing? We shouldn't be involved in this. We have a job to do."

  I heard her voice but not what she was saying. I found myself out of the car and walking toward the wreck. Then a child, a boy, crawled out of the broken rear window of the upside-down car. He looked around then he focused on something behind me.

  He dodged the policeman who tried to intercept him and took off running. I turned as he passed me and saw him hook his arm around Jane's waist to slow himself down. Then he seemed to try to hide himself behind her, with just his head poking out so he could see what was happening. The cop came up to me, and he was not a happy camper. "What the hell are you people doing here? You should know better than to interfere with the police. And you boy, you get back over here so we can check you out. You might be hurt you know. Sometimes you don't feel it at first.

  "What's your name son?"

  I'll have to give it to him. Very few people can pull off switching from stern and commanding to caring and compassionate in the course of four words.

  "My name is Ian Bergner, and I'm going with these ladies, and I feel fine. So just let me go...please."

  I looked at Jane. She gave me a fleeting grin and shrugged her shoulders. I did likewise. I really do NOT like being manipulated like this, but, we did decide to join the dance, so.....

  "Officer...ah....Peters. I'm afraid that the boy is correct. He is coming with us."

  You may not believe it, but what he said next really did sound like venom was dripping from his mouth. "Uh, huh... I don't know what kind of idiots you are, but if you don't turn around and get back in your car and leave, RIGHT NOW, I'm arresting you for obstruction of justice, and any other charge I can come up with."

  I sighed. Oh well. I reached into my shirt pocket and flipped open my FBI ID. "I wish you wouldn't take it that way. But, as you can see, I do have a reason to be here."

  "You? With the FBI. When pigs fly! You just happened to be here, huh? Right."

  It was Jane's turn now, and she was right on schedule.

  "Officer Peters, you have two choices." She walked closer and flipped her Homeland Security ID at him. Her voice could have cut glass and his eyes flipped over to her as if they were jet propelled. "Well three actually. The first is to simply go away and tell your brother officers that two 'detectives' have taken the boy into custody. If you do, you will never tell them who we are or who we are with. Then you will forget that you ever met us.

  "Your other two choices are variations on the same theme. You get to choose whether the FBI or Homeland Security gets to arrest you. Either way, you'll be charged with interfering with the investigation of a terrorist plot. There's always room for one more at Gitmo."

  I'd never seen her do menacing before, but she was beyond good. Every word had been delivered in a tone that would have shattered glass. (Believe me, there's NOTHING scarier than that. She even made me a bit nervous. Those acting classes did more for her than I'd thought.)

  "Ah...uh...well, I was just trying to do my job. No insult intended. You just surprised me, that's all. Yes, you just surprised me."

  Jane did icy well, but he was doing flustered stammering even better. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing.

  My turn again. "So I take it that you've had a change of heart?"

  He glanced at the sky. "It looks like it'll be a hot one today. I'd better go back and get to dealing with the traffic or something. Good day to you."

  With that, he sauntered off, back toward the wreck. He didn't do it very well, but he probably didn't have Jane's theater training.

  "OK, let's get out of here. Jane, in back with Ian so you can check him out. I find it pretty hard to believe that a rollover didn't cause at least a little damage to our new relative."

  This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

  Ian was staring at both of us alternately. He was still holding onto Jane though, so he had to twist all the way around the front of her to see her face. He looked a bit like a snake trying to figure out how to climb up a slick pole.

  Once again, I managed not to laugh, but it was a close battle. I definitely needed to spend more time meditating on controlling my emotions. Not that I was going to admit it to Master Oh. He's already right about almost everything. I wasn't going to give him something else to gloat over.

  <>

  So, back in the car. Pulled out, carefully. After being set up like this, I wasn't going to let random chance have a swat at us by pulling out in front of some oblivious driver and getting splattered all over the highway. Then I concentrated on driving south.

  Jane concentrated on Ian, who was still holding on to her like a drowning man does to a life preserver. (Have you ever seen one of those? You'd have to be extremely desperate to grab one. They're heavy and awkward. Give me a good life jacket any day.)

  <>

  So there we were, the three of us headed to Eugene. Ian was still glued to Jane, who was starting to look a bit frantic. Finally she'd had enough and spoke to Ian directly.

  "Look, I know that you've been traumatized, but there's only so long that I'm willing to let you keep your face where it is now."

  Ian lifted his head and looked up at Jane. Then he looked down at where his face had been. The next thing I knew he was on the other side of the back seat, looking as if he wanted to plaster his whole body against the door.

  It's rather amazing how bright a blush someone with skin as pale as his can have. Though, thinking more about it, I realized that I'd never met anyone with his coloring. Hair so blonde that it was almost white, with skin that shade of white that women would have died for back in the 18th century. (Well, a lot of them did die -- from anemia they developed while taking arsenic to give themselves a pale complexion.)

  HAH! And you say that I go off on tangents. Who do you think I got that trait from Mama?

  His eyes were a very unusual blue. They seemed to have quite a bit of depth to them, but I couldn't tell for sure unless I turned around and drove while facing backwards. Not something I was very eager to try.

  We made the delivery without incident and headed home. The trip to the mall would have to wait. Now that I wasn't looking everywhere for someone tailing me I took some time to appraise our new family member. Ian had finally lost the 'deer in the headlights' look, so it was time to have a little talk.

  "So, Ian. Whatever got you into that car? You seemed to be in quite a hurry to get away from it."

  He looked at me, then at Jane. When she gave him an encouraging nod, he took a deep breath and started to recite his story with a precise, clipped voice. "I was attending the Davidson Academy of Nevada in Reno. You're probably not familiar with it. It's for people who score in the top 0.1% on either the SAT, ACT, or IQ tests. I'd developed some algorithms dealing with cryptography, then I branched out a bit into the hard sciences, but I can't tell you anything more about that. It's classified."

  Jane flashed her Homeland Security badge and I showed my FBI ID over my shoulder.

  We both said "talk," and he did, just not exactly the way we'd thought.

  "WOW! Homeland Security and the FBI. They sent both of you to find me after I'd been snatched? WOW!"

  Another kidnapped kid? What am I, a home for abused, neglected, or kidnapped children?

  <
  What? Exercise till I drop? Where's the joy of venting to some other being in that? You really are no fun a times...... Sulking here...... Say something.......

  Oh, all right, I'll get back to it.>>

  I looked at Jane and nodded slightly. She'd be better at making up a whopper on the spot than I would. Also, we were coming up on a rest stop. Time for me to make another hurried phone call, but this time not to Jerry. Mr. Forsythe and I needed to talk.

  Jane was doing splendidly if Ian's expression as I got out of the car meant anything. He looked like a cat with a bowl of vanilla ice cream.

  <>

  I sauntered over behind the building, and I was much better at it than Officer Peters was I might add. Hit speed-dial. "Hi Mr. Forsythe. Yes, we're all fine. We ran into a little bit of a situation on the way to Eugene."

  "How little? Well, just a police chase, rolled car, and a kidnapped kid who insisted on coming with Jane and I so we had to pull out badges and talk fast. "

  "The child's name? Ian Bergner."

  Held the phone at arm's length for a while till the volume dropped to something below a banshee's wail.

  "Ah, no, we rarely watch television. Oh, I see. Amber alert out for Ian. Multi-state dragnet. Uh-huh. Secret government project."

  "Well, yes, that we knew about. How? He told us. No details though, claimed 'need to know'. Yes he is a good kid, as best I can tell after 2 hours. OK. Sure. You're going to deal with the local LEOs. Confirm FBI and Homeland Security were on the job."

  "Yes, I see that it will enhance the reputation for both."

  I muttered, "They could use it."

  "What did I mean by that? Nothing. Nothing at all. Just wanted to say that neither gets enough credit for all the unsung work they do."

  PHEW! Have to watch my mouth more carefully in the future. That could have been nasty. Fortunately most people have a built in flattery meter. If it's about someone else, they discount it. If it's about themselves, they'll eat it up.

  "Take him home with us for now? Sure, we'd planned to anyway. You'll get back to us sometime this afternoon. Roger that. Bye."

  Curiouser and curiouser.

  Back to the car. Got back on the freeway.

  "OK Ian. We've been instructed to take you home with us. I have a strong suspicion that you'll be staying with us for quite some time.

  "We'll probably have to change your last name though. Ian should be OK to keep, it's not all that rare. Do you have a preference for your surname, or do you want to think about it for a while?"

  Gotta give it to him. He was sharp. Didn't bat an eye. Probably because they were both still glued to Jane's face now that he had his head out of her cleavage.

  Yes, yes. Very funny Mama. And very typical for someone as vulgar as you.

  "There's no hurry is there...ah....what is your name again?"

  I did smack my hand on my forehead that time. Made my eyes water. You'd think that I'd have learned better by now. Hmmm..... Maybe I should check it out and see just how strong I am one of these days. Somehow I never got around to it. Making a mental note now.

  "Knight. Karla Knight. The lady you can't stop looking at is my daughter Jane."

  "Daughter?" His eyes got even brighter. "This may turn out to be a lot of fun!"

  <
  Yes, I can deal with wounded silence just fine. Go ahead and pout.>>