The five of us make our way towards physical training, but Ella is the first to notice the discrepancy. "We're not going towards the regular classroom," she says, her head moving back and forth between the line in front of us, and the intersection we aren't turning left at. "I thought I was just going crazy," I mutter. "You are," says Caz-V, who is apparently walking only a few feet behind me. I roll my eyes, but I don't have the opportunity to say anymore, as our line terminates at a door only 20 feet past the intersection. The door slides open as Rease approaches it, and I hear various murmurings from my squadmates before I get eyes on the space. I round the corner and my eyebrows shoot up as my gaze sweeps the cavernous room.
It looks roughly as long and wide as an airplane hanger, and is maybe 3/4ths as tall. The space is stuffed with various different objects; ladders made out of rebar, a folded Corpus ship hull creating a sloped pit, vines and ropes hanging off various structures, tunnel through broken Grineer machinery, and straight up rock cliffs, just to name just a few. "It's like a grab bag of every tileset in the game," I think, looking over the mishmash in front of me. While the... debris... is all over the place, it's clear that there's a dividing line between Grineer and Corpus stuff, whereas anything natural is just mixed throughout. Eventually, my eyes spot Terrowin sitting at the top of broken front half of a Grineer dropship, next to a pole with a wire coming off it. It takes a moment for me to process it as a zipline, due to how visually noisy the entire place is.
The moment Caz-V enters behind me, she stands up from her seated position. I'm expecting her to grab the zipline next to her, but instead she steps over to the edge of the dropship, and shifts her weight over her toes. Before she falls off, however, she leaps off the rounded edge of the ship, jumping straight out into the open air. It only takes me a second to realize she's nowhere near anything, and her only path is straight down onto the lightly padded floor. I can't help but let out a gasp as I watch gravity take hold of her. "She'll be fine," I do my best to convince myself. It was incredibly unlikely that she would have jumped if she couldn't handle the fall, but the monkey part of my brain is telling me that I'm about to see a woman with 1 to 2 broken legs crunch down in front of me.
She slows a hair before hitting the ground, a sign I've come to recognize as kinetic dampeners in effect. She gracefully turns her vertical momentum into horizontal by transitioning into a roll, and pops up into a relaxed stance only 5 feet away from us, looking incredibly entertained by her own behavior. "I wonder if her augments let her bullet jump." She hadn't confirmed or denied my pet theory about her physical abilities, but to be fair, I had also never approached her about them. "Today, recruits, we're doing mobility training," says First Deacon Terrowin. "As you can see, we have an obstacle course. Your goal is to traverse the obstacle course. Some parts of the course can be run solo, and some will need to be run as a squad." A top down hologram of the course pops up next to her, and as the hologram by her side lights up various obstacles, so too do the obstacles light up on the field via an overlay in my headset.
"This is our basic course," she states, after a series of 4 obstacles is highlighted. "Over the next couple weeks you'll be running different routes, all timed of course." Another hologram pops up, this one to her right. At the top of it are three labels; position, name, and points. Beneath the labels is a single horizontal line, followed by the name C. Terrowin, then the number four. Off to the right of the scoreboard is a list of times, along with the amount of points each one would award. Anything faster than 10 minutes is 4 points, and anything slower than 15 minutes is just 1. "After running the course, you'll place on the leaderboard. Anyone in last place will have extra workouts to do the following day, and your position will be tracked over the course of the next few weeks. Questions? Recruit Ko-lee?" I look over at my girlfriend, who has a look of anticipation in her eye. "Are there rewards for being first?" she asks.
"Bragging rights," Terrowin responds simply, a small smirk on her face. "Any other questions?" I consider the obstacle course for a moment. "Should I ask why there's no Orokin ruins or Infested stuff for obstacles?" The moment the thought crosses my mind, I come up with an answer. "Actually, why would there be? I don't think Tenno go into Orokin ruins. That's a delver thing, like with Maroo. Or maybe a warframe only thing. And the Infested, I mean that one's self explanatory." Nobody else asks a question, and Terrowin gives us all a sadistic grin. "Great. Let's get started."
Our warm ups finished, my squadmates and the teacher all make our way over to the beginning of the starter course. Terrowin had walked us through each obstacle for this route, explaining how to tackle them, and I felt confident - perhaps overly so - about running it. "Calling it a starter course is a bit of a stretch though," I think, looking at the obstacles in front of me. Still, I have the barest bones of parkour experience from nearly a decade ago, and unlike back then, I'm actually somewhat physically capable now, so I'm excited to try my hand at it. Then, as though in an attempt to temper my expectations, the memory of me eating shit into Lykka lake flashes into my head. "No, yeah, this is gonna go poorly," I think. Unfortunately, I'm the first to tackle the course, and I stand at the starting line, doing my best to calm my beating heart. "GO!" shouts Terrowin, and her voice is so loud that it nearly causes me to trip before I take a single step. I manage to recover, and after a few feet, I encounter my first roadblock; a literal rock wall, made from actual martian stone.
The wall is tilted ever so slightly away from me, rather than being perfectly vertical, but I had already looked it over, and so I know that the path up is going to be an issue. About half way up the wall, I need to jump to reach a handhold, one that I'm not sure I'll be able to place more than a single hand on. If I had to do something like it back home, it would've been an insurmountable obstruction, but I'm cautiously optimistic about the maneuver. I keep it in mind as I reach the wall with a bit of speed; the 30 or so feet between the starting line and the wall just about enough room for me to reach a sprint. I try to use the momentum to skip the first few handholds, taking a step or two up the wall. However, all it does is place me in an awkward position with my hands and feet all out of place, and after a few seconds of consideration, I realize that I'll need to reset and do the climb correctly. "Ah, well. Worth a shot."
As my feet touch the ground, I can feel the seconds ticking away, even though there's no indication of it anywhere that I can see. My hands are somehow already sweaty, but the TEPA prevents it from messing with my grip. I place both hands on the wall, then my feet, then take the obstacle one step at a time, feeling the rough texture of the stone through the fibers of my suit. I reach the midway point, but I'm able to use both my arms and my legs to jump, reaching the next grip with ease. As I pull myself up, it almost feels as though my momentum is helping me up the wall, and I reach the top in what feels like record time. "Although if every one else spiderman's up the damn thing I'm gonna feel real sad," I think, as I make my way along the raised platform over to the next obstacle.
The next obstacle is a tiny ledge, about one foot out from a wall, about 20 feet in length. The wall above the ledge is rough and textured, with bits poking out that will force me to shift my weight around as I shimmy along it. I take a step up to the edge, and look down at the 15 foot drop on the other side. I do my best to tamp down the flash of fear I feel crawl along my spine. "It's so dumb that my fear of heights really only kicks in between 10 to 100 feet," I think, trying to distract myself for the crossing. "I wonder if it's a suffering versus instant death thing, or something else." My mind helpfully supplies imagery of my foot slipping and me unable to recover, as I careen down onto the mat head first, snapping my neck before I have a chance to react. I shake my head in an attempt to clear the thought, and place my right foot on the ledge first, my back up against the wall. Once there, I find it's not really possible for me to lift my feet, and so I just scooch, inch by inch, along the ledge.
The awkward, knobbly stone texture behind me jabs into my shoulder blades, and the protruding shapes feels like they're trying to push me off, but I keep my back up against the wall as much as I can while I make the arduous crossing. Suddenly, I feel my right foot slip a little farther than expected, and I instinctively flinch to regain balance. The moment I do, I realize I've fucked up. Adrenaline shoot's through my body, but it just throws off my already compromised balance even more, and gravity takes hold, as it not so gently helps me off the ledge and towards the floor. Of course, this exact scenario had been playing in my head for the last few minutes, and so I know how to react to avoid seriously injuring myself. My back gets scratched up by the ledge, but otherwise I come down onto the padded floor feet first, rather than on my hands, head, and neck. The moment I touch the ground, I attempt to transition into a roll, but the movement doesn't play out as effectively as it did in practice from a few weeks prior.
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As I pick myself up from the floor, I can feel soreness in my thighs and legs, even with the padded floor and kinetic dampeners reducing the impact from the fall. My gaze shifts back to the rock wall, and I feel a touch of despair. A few minutes (and one miserable climb) later, I find myself back at the ledge. This time, I face in towards the wall, with the idea that any shift in my center of gravity would be away from the open air, rather than towards it. It's unsettling in an entirely different way to have my face smooshed up against the wall, but I find it a lot easier to complete the obstacle. "In retrospect that was obvi the better play," I think, standing on the next ledge. The bumps and protrusions that had tried to knock me off my feet on the first attempt ceased to be a problem when I could fold forward around them, rather than needing to arch my back. "Two more."
The next obstacle was one that had barely registered when we were doing the walkthrough. It was effectively just three pieces of rebar sticking out of a structure, and all I had to do was tap into my inner monkey to reach the slanted ground on the other side. I flex my fingers for a moment, then jump for the first bar above my head. The second I put my weight on it, however, I feel it start to shift, and a part of my mind does the calculations in a instant. "I need to spread my weight across the bars. If I swing, the bars will pull right out of the wall," I think, my right hand already reaching for the second one. I pause there for a moment, one arm in front and one behind, considering how best to reach the last bar without swinging. "Is there a problem, recruit?" I hear the voice of Terror Wins call out behind me. I can't see her face, but I know it has that familiar sadistic grin stretched across it.
"Just hangin' out," I can't help but retort. It gets a laugh from Rease, and I smile. "Stop, pay attention," I reprimand, and I force my mind to the task in front of me. "If I shift my grip closer to the holes..." The thought stays unfinished, as the idea is mostly based on a gut feeling and not concrete facts. I shift closer to the holes with both my left and right, then look at the final bar, tantalizingly close. "The shifting momentum is what's gonna pull the bars out. So maybe if I just... go real slow," I think to myself. I wait for a moment to see if another idea will pop into my head, but nothing does, and I can feel the strain in my arms. "Fuck it," I mutter in English. I dig deep, then grip onto the bar as tightly as I can, before moving my left hand from the first to the third bar. My entire weight is supported only by my right arm, and for the briefest of moments I feel elation that I'm able to hold myself up this way for any length of time. The emotion is quickly overwritten by panic, however, as the burn in my muscles makes it clear that it's an incredibly temporary maneuver. I pick up the pace with left, and finally, I have my weight spread once more across two bars.
I take a moment to 'rest', both my arms burning as I hang there. "Just over the lip," I think, looking at the final part of the obstacle. The slope I needed to land on was on the opposite side of a wall, and If I dropped too early, I'd be forced to redo everything for a third time. However, the wall is positioned in such a way that I have to swing to be able to clear it. "Beginner, my ass." I shift my grip, and lift my legs, trying to raise my center of gravity so that each swing will affect the bars as little as possible. I shift my weight back and forth, once, then twice, then fully extend on the third and let go at the same time. I hear the bars behind me clatter to the floor, but I pay no attention to them as I just barely manage to squeak past the dividing wall, and onto the slope on the opposite side. I crouch as I land, then slide for about five feet, until friction comes back from it's vacation, causing me to flip over and tumble the rest of the way down.
"Ah... well," I think, in a pile of aching flesh and bone. I take the briefest moment to relax, before pulling myself back into the configuration of a soldier, and looking at the last real obstacle. It was a small tunnel that I'd need to crawl through on my stomach. The Nutty Putty cave pops into my head, and I do my best not to shudder. "It's a 25 foot tunnel, not a cave. It's not even the right shape," I tell myself. I get down on my stomach, and start moving forward a foot at a time. I send one hand forward and curl one leg as much as I can, then pull and push as much as possible, before doing the same with the other side. I feel every inch of the rough stone rub against my stomach, and more than once I bang my knee into the side of the tunnel. Luckily, there are no protrusions I need to squeeze through breathlessly, or loose stone I need to push aside. Just one long tunnel that was taking more time than I wanted. I finish inching through, and stand up, before immediately breaking into a sprint, trying to clear the last 200 feet as quickly as possible.
All I had to do was make my way back to the squad and pass a line on the ground, and I'd get my time. I don't know what it is, but I'm literally in the home stretch, and so I push myself despite the aches. My arms scream as I pump them up and down, and I can feel my legs plotting a rebellion, but I dig deep, and nine seconds after standing up, I cross the finish line. It takes every ounce of willpower to not collapse in front of my friends and the teacher. I stand there, breathing heavily for a moment, before my gaze turns to the scoreboard. 16:41. 1 point. "Fuck me sideways," I think, but I do my best to plaster a smile on my face. "Who's next?" I ask. The squad looks at me, then the course with various expressions; fear, excitement, and anticipation, to name a few. "Go drink some water, recruit," says Terrowin from my right. "I don't want you throwing up on my course." I nod my head and give her a somewhat shaky "yes, sir," before making my way over to the bench.
I watch from a few feet away as she picks the next person to run the course. Ko-lee makes it look effortless, and I definitely do not feel a stab of jealousy at my girlfriend's time of 11:13. "It's just 'cause I did the course first, and she could learn from my mistakes. It definitely isn't just because she's more graceful and in shape than I am, no sirree," I lie to myself. I try to not let it get to me; I've spent most of my life in no particular shape at all, and while having visible muscle definition for the first time in my life is exciting, my girlfriend still has me beat in the physical department by a long margin. "Begone, thief of joy. Everyone's got their own things, and this probably won't ever be mine. There's nothing wrong with that," I think. It doesn't solve my jealousy, but it helps quiet it somewhat, and I smile as my girlfriend makes her way over to the bench with me. I reach my hand out towards her, palm up, and she gives me a high five as she sits down, before the two of us watch the rest of our squad run through the course.
Unsurprisingly, Rease does pretty well. While he doesn't do as good on time as Ko-lee, he still falls in the second place range, something he makes sure to let us know he's very excited about. Contrary to expectation, however, Ella also does quite well. She manages to finish the course in 12:35, only missing the three point mark by a few seconds. "Honestly, it's only 'cause she got handicapped by her height for the bars and the rock wall," I think. Still, I'm impressed, as are the rest of the squad, and we give her enough praise to turn her face tomato red. Lastly is Caz-V. Like me, he's a bit clumsy on the course, but unlike me, he's had prior training moving his body - at least in some manner - since he was a kid. He manages to squeak into the two point range with a time of 14:44, leaving me the only one with a single point. "Recruit Nova," says Terrowin, as she makes her way over to us. "You're last place."
"That means when you come in tomorrow, you'll have some extra laps around the course waiting for you. Three in total, which you can do while everyone else runs the obstacle course." She smirks at me, enjoying being the bearer of bad news. "It's up to you on whether you want to do them before or after your own course run." I just nod, and give her a "yes, sir," hoping to avoid giving her the pleasure of seeing my dread. She turns to the rest of the squad soon after. "Alright, not bad for your first day," she says. "Like I said at the beginning of class, the courses are going to change every day. No point in thinking too much about any one course. Tomorrow, we're doing a tandem, and the day after, it'll be the full squad. Then back to singles. If there's no questions, you're all dismissed." We all look at each other, but none of us make a move to raise a hand, and without further fanfare, Terrowin walks off, leaving us alone. We all stand, with varying levels of ease, then make our way to the door, and then to our next class, equipment.
