Chapter 084　 Turns out, I’m a scumbag woman.

  *

  That evening, Li Chengshi had dinner with Sun Xinghai, his college dorm monitor. Sun had developed a more mature air; he laughed and patted Li Chengshi’s shoulder, saying, "Being in a good place really changes a person—your physique has even improved!"

  "Stop teasing me," Li Chengshi replied, giving Sun a playful punch, though he couldn't help feeling a bit proud. It seemed the results of exercising with Su Xian were starting to show.

  "Actually, I wanted to meet the beautiful older sister even more. Why didn't she come back with you? I was dying of jealousy when I saw the photos you posted on WeChat Moments. You didn't even dare talk to girls back in school; how on earth did you land a top-tier beauty like her?"

  Well, it was all thanks to hallucinogenic mushrooms.

  "Perks of the job—she’s my team leader."

  "You lucky bastard! My team leader is a frustrated old man who finds pleasure in torturing people. But I only have to endure it for two more months. My colleagues are all saying our design institute won’t last until the end of the year."

  "Then what will you do?!"

  "I’m planning to go to Japan too."

  "Really?" Li Chengshi was both surprised and delighted.

  "Lately, there are a lot of peers who can’t survive the 'involution' (malignant competition) here and are looking for a way out abroad. You should know there are many labor dispatch companies in Japan. As long as your language skills pass, you can find a job."

  Li Chengshi nodded. Towa Design had several dispatch employees from such companies.

  "I’m not as lucky as you, having someone to guide me. I’ll probably have to spend some money on an agency to handle my visa."

  Li Chengshi gave an awkward smile.

  "Your boss, Zhao Nanfeng, is quite famous in the industry. Although many domestic architects have won major awards in recent years, the opportunities we can actually access in reality are extremely rare, let alone joining someone’s project team! Your girlfriend being able to get you in makes her a living Bodhisattva. On top of that, she’s sleeping with you? Did you save the world in a past life? And that Sanyou Art Museum project—I saw an analysis by a big influencer in an architecture group saying it’s bound to win awards once completed. By then, your girlfriend’s fame will rise. In a few years, she’ll start her own firm and take you with her—the future is limitless! No way, I’m too jealous. This meal is on you today."

  Li Chengshi felt even more awkward. "I can pay. But you don't need to be jealous. We... sigh, with my level, even following the most brilliant person won't change much."

  "It’s absolutely different! Listen to me—based on my year of workplace experience, the less capable someone is, the more they fear their subordinates surpassing them, so they suppress them at every turn. Some newcomers are driven to mental breakdowns. On the contrary, someone as brilliant as Zhao Nanfeng will truly mentor subordinates because he’s focused on moving upward and is terrified of his team being incompetent. So you two must stick with him. Hey, how’s his temper?"

  Zhao Nanfeng could be sarcastic and rude at times, but... "Overall, it’s actually pretty good."

  "That’s incredibly rare. I’ve heard those big-name designers almost all have terrible tempers because the pressure is immense. Anyway, Little Bear, your current job is practically perfect. You absolutely, absolutely must cherish it!"

  *

  What should he do?

  He was wavering. Should he return to Towa Design?

  He struggled with whether he could go back, and at the same time, whether he could stand it if he did.

  But at the very least, he had to get back to Tokyo first.

  *

  He discussed his thoughts with Li Xiao, and she didn't object. She could see he had been struggling these past few days, his eyes often red. Since he couldn't let go, it was better to go back and try again. Love is the kind of thing where it's hard to let go until you've bumped your head and made it bleed; she had gone through the same thing back then. However, she told her son that if things didn't work out, he could come back and live off her anytime without any psychological burden.

  "Thanks, Mom. I didn't bring a cent back this time, and I even have to use your money to book a flight back. I'm sorry."

  This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

  "Don't say such silly things."

  Yesterday, Huang Shan came back. He sighed when talking about Huang Pinghe, envying Li Xiao for having a child with a "normal" sexual orientation. But in the end, it all boiled down to one sentence: "As long as she’s happy."

  See? In the end, that's the only requirement parents have.

  **

  Having lost a day in Sendai, they naturally had to make it up upon their return. Su Xian worked overtime all Saturday and continued working from home on Sunday.

  After washing her clothes, she took them up to the third-floor terrace to hang them out. Su Xian suddenly realized that this seemed to be the first time she had ever come up here to hang laundry.

  Wow, have I been enslaving Li Chengshi like this for nearly a year?

  Yes. Looking at the increasingly disordered kitchen counter, living room sofa, bedroom wardrobe, and bathroom storage, she realized that after living a good life for too long, one starts to believe everything stays in order without any effort. Back when she lived alone, she could manage to clean and organize every two or three weeks. Now, she was like a spoiled young lady who didn't want to waste a drop of energy on chores.

  Sigh. A person like Li Chengshi... he really should be given marriage and children.

  *

  But the person to give him marriage and children probably shouldn't be her.

  Because the moment she realized she was pregnant, her first reaction was: I don't want to give birth.

  If she didn't want children, then it was best not to get married either.

  After all, no matter how Zhao Nanfeng tried to "spread his peacock feathers" for her, she could coldly refuse him without any psychological burden. But the moment she sensed Li Chengshi was in a bad mood, she couldn't sit still; she wanted to help him resolve it. If these were voluntary during the dating phase, once they upgraded to family, they would become obligations.

  At this moment, she finally recognized her true nature: Turns out, I’m a scumbag woman.

  I'm sorry, Li Chengshi.

  I'm sorry, I’ve decided... to let go.

  She took the ring off her finger.

  **

  It felt like Zhao Nanfeng had been on stimulants lately; he was incredibly energetic and had somehow brought in several decent projects. Could they even handle all of them?

  But it didn't matter. She didn't like resting anyway. Resting only led to overthinking, which was more damaging than working.

  Past 9:00 PM at the office, only the two of them were left. Zhao Nanfeng came to her workstation.

  Expecting him to start "courting" again, Su Xian rolled her eyes in advance. It was strange—he clearly knew that a pestering man has no charm, yet he delighted in it.

  Sure enough, he opened with: "I'll stay at your place tonight. I can sleep in the guest room."

  "No."

  "Don't you think it’s a waste of resources? And since you don't mind a purely physical relationship, why can't it be with me?"

  "For a purely physical relationship, one still has to pick someone they have a feeling for."

  "I don't believe you have zero feeling for me."

  "A little is useless; there has to be a lot."

  "So there is a little?"

  "Not even a little. Zhao Nanfeng, stop playing these boring word games."

  "When I was in the hospital and didn't have 'normal men functions,' you said I was very charming when I had no desire."

  "Couldn't you tell that was sarcasm?"

  "No, it wasn't. Your years of being troubled by my philandering mean that when I settle down, you'll like it from the bottom of your heart. Of course, this kind of liking transcends love and desire."

  "Then let’s become sworn siblings with different surnames."

  "I can take your surname."

  Su Xian burst out laughing, but after laughing, she felt a bit puzzled. "Zhao Nanfeng, my family was as bad as that and I haven't changed my surname. Your family is happy—how can you say such a thing so casually?"

  "My family just has a bit of money, that's all. My mom is a control freak, and my dad is never home. It doesn't count as happy."

  **