Hannah couldn’t catch a break. Ever since that night at the Quantum Promenade, she’s only wanted one thing; what she would give to have just one more measly, uninterrupted moment with Mac. No fiery crashes on the overpass so absurd they’d make the slapstick gods weep. No drive-through shootouts. No camping out under some abandoned overpass like they had a six-star wanted level in Grand Theft Auto. Sure, getting sick after the ambush had its own perks: Mac’s soup was the stuff of legends, but then Rajiv’s quadruple-cross?

  Well, I mean I guess what happened after wasn’t SO BAD… We’re sharing a bed now and he STILL doesn’t have a clue! Babyboy…

  What about finding a fanfic forum about her and Mac created, administered, and moderated by her COWORKERS? That one lit an eternal flame on every square inch of her skin. Brunch with the cutest boy in the world should have been her consolation. A piece of peace away from it all.

  At least I got to feed him banana pancakes… And ogling his goofy grin as I wiped syrup off his lip? That shit was top-tier. Honestly, it should be a war crime to be that CUTE.

  But why does there always have to be a fucking catch, Hannah?

  Mac rubbed and patted his belly, laughing as they walked out the door. “That was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Thanks for the invite!”

  Oh no. He’s smiling again. My HEART.

  “Y-yeah. No prob,” Hannah stuttered. A pleasant warmth spread from her cheeks to her ears.

  They walked past the line again, shorter now than when they arrived.

  Mac turned to face her. “That bouncer was such a bro as well. I still can’t believe that he picked us out of line and just let us in! You said that you were trying forever to get a table here…” He gazed at the overhang and massaged his chin.

  His jawline and stubble could probably end droughts if people saw him in a movie.

  “Maybe I’m finally getting a little better at my new job? Heheh!” He winked.

  I’d be doing a disservice to the world if I kept him all to myself. Maybe after this is over I can call Dad and get him something safer in Hollywood… Focus. One mission at a time, Hannah.

  Hannah gently socked him in the arm. She smirked. “Easy there, tiger. That face of yours gets us in so much more trouble than you think. Let’s go meet Abe.”

  “Oww… You’re kinda violent, you know?” Mac nursed his injury.

  Fuck. I hit him too hard again.

  Hannah’s eyes widened as she waved her hands. “Sorry, sorry! Didn’t mean to hit you that hard.”

  “Just. Kidding!” Mac stuck his tongue out and winked AGAIN.

  This LITTLE…

  Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Footsteps from behind. “Yes. I knew you’d show up!” A stately voice called to them. They turned around.

  “Abe! What’s up dude!?” Mac walked up, going for the old reliable handshake, bro hug, and back slap combo.

  Abe returned his greeting. “’Sup Mac? How was brunch?”

  Hannah interrupted. “Wait. How’d you already know his name? We haven’t even introduced ourselves.”

  Raising an eyebrow, Abe shot back a knowing grin.

  Shit. The fanfic forum.

  He grabbed his 12-pack abs, probably stolen from a Greek statue, and doubled over. “You guys are all over the Internet! Shit, at this rate, you’re probably local celebrities by now. Or are you joking? Either way, it’s really funny to me.” Wiping away a tear with his finger, he caught his breath as he stood up.

  Eureka, Tar… You’re gonna PAY for this.

  Hannah’s face lit up with the fury of 10,000 suns. Solar flares erupted from her cheeks as she cleared her throat. “A-anyways, you wanted to talk?”

  Abe straightened and crossed his arms, gravitas replacing the laughter in his eyes. “Yeah. But whatever we say here stays between the Breakfast Council and your crew, got it?”

  “Huh?” Mac tilted his head, clueless as always.

  Hannah’s gaze drifted upwards as she pursed her lips.

  After another ponder, she responded. “The Breakfast Council needs our help? Sorry Abe, but we’re kinda already dealing with another problem right now…”

  “CG&E’s faking it. I know.” Abe replied.

  “How’d you—”

  Abe hit the buzzer, already knowing the answer. “Word on the street is that two idiots fancying themselves as Bonnie and Clyde are turning over everything looking for leads on it. Trust me. It goes deeper than that. You in or out?”

  Hannah paused.

  We’re in too deep. If we back out now, we’ll never know how deep this rabbit hole goes. Gotta do it. But still, those two SHIT DISTURBERS will get what’s due… I can’t do biz with a straight face anymore and it’s DRIVING ME CRAZY!

  “Fine. Deal us in,” Hannah said. She extended her hand and prompted Mac to do the same. They shook on it.

  Clap! Abe huddled them up. “Down to business then. The reason there’s an energy crisis is because The Brunch Illuminati want to take brunch away forever. Their first step was to get CG&E to manufacture an energy crisis.”

  “Go on…” Hannah prompted.

  He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Then, they compromised The Brunch Spot. As we know, this beautiful state of ours is the brunch capital of the world. If you control the grid here, you are just a few steps away from controlling brunch everywhere. See where I’m going with this? There’s layers to this shit. Like a stack of good pancakes.”

  BRUNCH?! Are you SHITTING me? CG&E led back to BRUNCH? If the Brunch Illuminati never existed, I would have never met Mac, Eureka and Tar would have never made that website, and I wouldn’t be talking to the goddamn bouncer of The Brunch Spot right now about joining some guerrilla war. Those freaks made it PERSONAL. IT’S ON.

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  A single, manly tear flowed down his cheek, forming a rivulet. “These motherfuckers want total control. This isn’t just about breakfast. They wanna take away joy and dignity. If brunch falls… I don’t even wanna think about it.” Abe sobbed, each one uglier than the last.

  “Bro…” Mac hugged him. Hannah looked on in jealousy.

  Why can’t that be me—FOCUS. Shit just got real, and you’re thinking about what it’s like to hug Mac? Brunch conspiracies first, then revenge, and then Mac Hugs.

  Hannah shook it off. Abe pulled back and held Mac by the shoulders. “Please Mac.” He turned to Hannah. “Please Hannah, help us save brunch.”

  “Say no more. We’re in.” Hannah replied, finally matching Abe’s solemnity.

  “Great, when can you start—” Abe answered.

  Wait… I just thought of a way to get payback on Eureka and Tar… Heheheheh. You are EVIL, Sinclair. Saving brunch can wait. Can’t do much about it today anyways. Mac Hugs, here we come…

  Side-eyeing Mac, Hannah cut Abe off. “But first, I gotta take care of some… Logistics back at home. We don’t do same-day delivery anyways. Just SOP. Hope you understand.”

  Abe shot a knowing smirk back through his tears. “Suuuure. Logistics. I’ll line-of-sight you my detes. Call you when we have something.” He chortled.

  Hannah looked back at him, a faxed-in version of Mac’s puppy-dog eyes plastered on her face. He knows. He definitely knows. Please let me have this?

  Mac chimed in, unhelpful as ever. “Everybody poops, Hannah! It’s okay to just say that you need to use the bathroom.”

  THIS GUY. He’s lucky he’s cute…

  Hannah squeezed her eyes shut as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She grabbed Mac’s wrist, dragging him away as Abe doubled over again on the verge of another howler. “Come on. Let’s go home. Got a lot of stuff to work out.”

  ---

  If it wasn’t for Mac’s love for the San Francisco Giants, Hannah would have been kissing all over his face right now as they sat on the couch. To get back at Eureka and Tar, of course. Professionally.

  But hey, I’ve got him in my sights now. Eureka and Tar thought they got me all figured out? They know Jackie fucking Chan about me. Besides, wasting a chance like this? That’s the stuff that gets you sent to the Romcom Hague. Go for it, girl!

  Hannah grabbed his attention. “Mac.”

  The Dodgers struck out to end the top of the ninth. Mac turned as the broadcast cut to commercials. “What’s up?”

  “You trust me, riiight?”

  Mac smirked in a way that should be patented for how much it always got Hannah’s heart racing. “Yeah? What’s this about?”

  Just gotta pull the trigger. He’ll for sure go along with it. If he thinks I’m weird, we’re on the fifth floor… Would that even do the trick?

  “Do you wanna get back at Eureka and Tar for destroying our privacy?”

  His dimples reached maximum cuteness as his lips curled up even more. “I thought those stories were pretty funny… But yeah, kinda. What do you have in mind?”

  “What if… I left a bunch of lipstick marks on your face? Then we take a selfie and upload it to the forum?” Hannah proposed. A blush came out of hiding beneath her cheeks, holding a detonator.

  Mac lifted a brow, still grinning. “Ooh, I like it. But I don’t think it’ll work if you just mark me up. Shouldn’t we, like, kiss for real if we really wanna sell this? I mean… Only if you’re cool with it, of course.”

  “Kiss for real?” Is he…? NO WAY. Am I dreaming? I’m TOTALLY on board with this. YES!

  Hannah flipped down her shades, her fingers fumbling as she pushed her bottom chip forward with a heavy touch. The pot splashed, and she stiffened as she stammered a reply. “Hmm… Y-you make a good point. Lemme put some lipstick on real quick.”

  She ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. Taking out her lipstick from the cabinet, she applied it as she demurely giggled into the mirror. Then, she grabbed both sides of the sink and stared at her reflection before pointing two fingers at her eyes and then back at her image.

  This is it, Hannah. Get your game face on! Forget Mac Hugs. These are Mac Kisses. Deep breath. Count to three. Go.

  Stepping out, she checked the television. I can’t even look at him right now!

  Bottom of the ninth, and the bases are loaded. Down by three to the Dodgers.

  Mac’s rumbly chuckle snapped her out of it. He mock-saluted her. “Ready when you are, Cheer Captain.”

  Oh, he is SO not ready for what’s coming.

  “R-right.”

  Hannah plopped down next to him, clutched his shoulders and suplex-flipped him on top of her, locking him in a honey hug. Pomf! Mac’s devastating, rust-brown eyes grew to the size of Jupiter as he yelped in surprise. “Oh! Hi…”

  She leaned in. Her fingers lazily trailed along his rugged, hunky jawline as she tilted his face towards hers. “Gimme your cheek.”

  Mac flinched, but ultimately complied, his skin heating under her touch. Chu!

  “That tickles!” He laughed as Hannah pitched him a wicked, foxy smirk. She chuckled.

  I’m super bothered that you’re not getting it right now, but I’m also kinda into that shit… This is SO fucked up.

  Her breath hitched against his ear. “C’mon Mac, focus. This isn’t amateur hour. Turn the other way so I can kiss you some more.”

  Mac giggled nervously and lowered his voice. “Ah! Right. Here’s my other cheek. You probably should get my jaw and maybe a few on my forehead as well… WAIT. Why don’t you leave a HICKEY on my neck as well? Oh man, Eureka and Tar are gonna be SHOOK when they see this picture!”

  A HICKEY? He’s GOTTA know what he’s doing… Nah. He’s right. There’s gotta be no doubt about it.

  Hannah took his suggestions to heart, but she wanted more. Testing the waters, she “accidentally” tagged the corner of his mouth as she laced her fingers with his. He shivered. Mac blinked rapidly and shook his head, shifting from playful to all business and then back again. His hand tightened around hers, but Hannah wasn’t done yet.

  “Holding hands… This is all to make it look real, right? Otherwise, uh, isn’t this kinda… lewd?” Mac murmured.

  LEWD?! I LITERALLY put you on top of me so I could KISS you easier! This cute idiot…

  “C’mere,” Hannah answered. She pulled him in for a chaste, dainty peck. A hint of his honey and mint-flavored chapstick brushed the tip of her tongue. Then she closed her eyes, tilted her head to the side, and craned her neck to meet him again.

  CRAAAAAACK! “Hit high and deep to right! This one’s heading for Oakland! A WALK-OFF GRAND SLAM INTO MCCOVEY COVE! BALLGAME!”

  The kiss stretched for longer and deeper now as her tongue gained the upper hand in the trenches, pinning his down for the count. She grabbed a handful of ass with her other hand as she bit his lip.

  “Mmph!” Mac tensed up, then relaxed once again into the session.

  Neither of them moved for minutes, their tongues going blow for blow like two kaiju locking horns in a nasty showdown out at sea for a full twelve-round bout. After one last nibble, they finally came up for air. A strand of saliva connected them as they gazed at each other, their faces awash in the crimson afterglow. The moment passed.

  And then he opened his pretty, dumb mouth, lips slightly swollen and and painted laser-red. “…Dude, nice. Huh, looks like the Giants won as well. Double nice.”

  NICE? DOUBLE NICE?! That’s what you’re taking from this?! You’re lucky you’re a good kisser.

  Another second ticked by.

  “Uhh, shouldn’t you be taking the picture now?” Mac asked.

  “Picture…? Oh, shit!” Hannah bobbled her phone out of her pocket and juggled it. With an efficiency that would make even the best and brightest pickpocket in Naples think that he’s some bumbling ragazzi, she seized the phone with her fingertips millimeters from the floor all while maintaining the ideal finger:palm ratio and optimal squeeze force on Mac’s NICE, FIRM-BUT-OH-SO-SUPPLE booty. “Pose for the camera.” Snap!

  Satisfied with her “work”, she made a new thread under “Announcements”, posted the picture, and pinned it.

  She cuddled Mac some more, holding him close to her chest and running her fingers through his always impeccably effortless, flowy hair.

  Ping! “Oh! Lemme get that.” Setting her phone to “Do Not Disturb,” she tossed it face-down on the ottoman. Close one. I’ll deal with it TOMORROW. Mac Cuddles now.

  “You’re not even gonna check?” Mac asked as he reciprocated.

  “Oh, we already KNOW,” Hannah replied.

  “Good point.”

  She snatched the remote from the ottoman and flipped to Netflix. “Uhh, you wanna watch a movie or something?”

  “…Sure.”

  Mac nuzzled into Hannah’s chest as she held him close, her arms locking him in a straitjacket of cashmere sleeves. Planet Earth faded into the background as their shared warmth became too much to fight. Twenty groggy minutes passed before their breaths and heartbeats synchronized, carrying them both into a peaceful sleep. When the morning came around again, they were still tangled together—no doubt dreaming up the next offensive against Eureka and Tar.