—— ? ——
Melodian had thought he had won all those years ago.
He had been so wrong.
This entire ordeal should have passed in a blink for the divine avatar.
It had not.
Melodian remembered the day he had touched that cursed, warped bassoon. When he had confiscated it and foiled Simon’s plans.
Even to this day, Melodian eyed the bassoon warily. It had to be secretly cursed; there was no other explanation.
Yes, he had bragged and taunted the mortal. But how was he supposed to know of that scheming human’s plans?
The mortal named Simon was not simple. Melodian was convinced of that; he truly believed it.
Simon had pretended to be dumb, to be stubborn, just an untalented mortal that was unfortunate enough to end up under the care of Melodian.
It was all a ruse. A plot conceived at the level of some of the most devious gods of the multiverse.
The Creature Known as Simon had crawled out of the lowest levels of the hells themselves.
No… not the hells. Demons and devils were twisted, but they would make deals and follow rules.
Simon was a conjuration of madness from the void. There were no rules, no compromises, only madness and misery.
Melodian shuddered, trying to block out the memory of.. The Song.
Oh, his arrogance when he had taken the toys of the Mad Being! The creature had used that to lure the god of bards into revealing more information about the realm’s limits.
But did Simon even need Melodian to spill those secrets?
From the beginning, I have just been dancing in the palm of his hand. He was just waiting to strike… Melodian thought with a shudder.
The Void-Born Being known as Simon had some ability, Melodian was sure of it.
The ability to see the rules and limits of the world around him.
There was no other explanation.
At every turn, the creature had figured out the rules of the realm.
How had it known that the god couldn’t turn off or stop the functions of the buildings?
How had it known that rules had been set in place so that every student would be under constant watch?
Those rules and limits had seemed like fair and warranted ideas when Melodian had made the training realm. Other gods had examined them and nodded their heads in approval. These were the assurances that would let Melodian profit off the training of other mortals. Regardless of what patron they had.
But the Horrifying Existence had bent them. He had used them to torture Melodian. A god.
Melodian was ashamed to admit to being beaten in this way, but he was left with no choice.
If he did not comply, the being would play ‘The Song’ again.
Melodian shook his head at the thought. No, he was safe from it at this moment. He would not let the few hours where the mortal slept go to waste. He would purge the memory from his mind.
But even so. I tried to reason with that creature. I did everything I could think of… nothing worked. Melodian thought, letting out a small whimper.
It hadn’t taken long for Melodian to search for compromises. To give the mortal his broken tools for destruction. He remembered his false hope that, perhaps, the Horrifying One would break down every building. Including the Chambers and the Voice.
Or as they called it: Realm Rocker Radio.
But no matter what he did, no matter his pleas. The mortal would just stare.
Everything he had confiscated had been returned. Every plea met with silence.
This had originally enraged Melodian, and he had foolishly taken something from the creature.
That had been a mistake.
The song played. It had played for days. There was no release. Just continual misery.
The god had wavered. But eventually even he had to cave.
He had returned everything.
The song continued to play.
It was horror; it was madness. There was no escaping it. Even while the mortal slept, he would keep it running.
How could he sleep with that song never ending?
What a silly thought. A being of madness and misery wouldn’t be bothered by such things. Melodian scoffed at himself.
The avatar of Melodian the Magnificent had crumbled and surrendered.
His last source of rebellion against this Ungodly Being of Insanity had finally been sacrificed to the maw of the beast.
Melodian had surrendered the instruments he had saved all those years ago.
The Being known as Simon had woken, seen the pile outside his home, and then started his run.
No acknowledgement. No acceptance.
The song continued to play.
Finally, days after the instruments were left outside for the Being of Madness, another song had played in its place.
It was during the morning announcements on Realm Rocker Radio.
—— ? ——
Simon cleared his throat and leaned forward into the magical rune that was his improvised mega speaker.
“Goooooooooooooood Morning Melodian’s Realm! Thanks for tuning into Realm Rocker Radio! The realm’s undisputed number one source for songs and karaoke!”
Simon smiled; He loved doing this bit every morning. Really got him going for his workouts and demolition projects.
“I’m your host, Simon Galfen, and man do I have a surprise for you today!” He paused for dramatic effect.
“While playing the realm’s number one hit single on repeat has been a blast, it’s time for something new!”
Simon grinned, his eyes filled with a mischievous glint.
“Coming to you live, here is one of my favorites from back on Earth: ‘It’s A Great Day To Be Alive’ by Travis Tritt”
Simon leaned and hit another rune, and the country song played. His eyes shifted to the window he had installed last year, where he could see Melodian’s tower.
He snickered. The avatar was on the balcony with a misty look of relief and happiness in his eyes.
Simon swore he could hear the metaphorical weights of dread drop off the god’s back as his head bobbed along with the music.
As the last notes of the song drifted over the wind, Melodian visibly sighed in relief.
The words had been a soothing balm to all listeners in the realm.
It was at that moment that Simon struck.
“What a beautiful song! Don’t worry, folks; it’s the basis for today’s playlist. Kick back and enjoy.”
Simon made eye contact with Melodian through the window. The god’s peaceful expression turned to horror at the look Simon gave him.
A look of complete madness.
“Songs that just bring everyone joy. Let’s hear it for the realm’s number one most played song on repeat…. It’sssssssssssss What’s New Pussycat? By Tom Jonessssssss,” Simon roared in his best WWE announcer voice, slamming the rune that would play the song.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Buried under the song’s beautiful melody, and Simon’s off-key wailing was a sound that had become a personal favorite of the mortal.
The horrified screams of a god.
—— ? ——
With the complete destruction of the realm, Simon felt he had truly accomplished something. He had turned this place of architectural majesty into a raw material construction yard.
It was perfect.
Sadly, it also gave Simon far less to do. Realm Rocker Radio was a roaring success. His airtime and ratings were off the charts. There was not a single listener who didn’t have a strong emotional reaction whenever it aired.
It had been strange when the god had begged him to stop playing What’s New Pussycat on repeat. From what Simon remembered, the god had never given him any relief in the Gallery of Growth, so why should he?
As the days turned to months, and the months turned to years, that strange divine being had become more and more erratic. Simon was concerned about his mental state. He had been happy to get his beloved implements of destruction back. It seemed the god wasn’t completely unreasonable. He almost talked to the god when he found the piles of instruments outside his home one day. But that would have required starting a conversation with the avatar, and Simon was over that.
He had talked with Melodian enough for this decade.
Simon really enjoyed the reactions he would get whenever he played Tom Jones’s song.
Songs being played on repeat had never really bothered him. He just hadn’t known to what horrific extreme he could take that minor quirk.
But the goal was in sight.
The god had subjected him to five hundred and three attempts. It was only fair to repay that in kind and with prejudice.
Besides the auditory abuse of a divine being, Simon was proud of his physical capabilities.
Over the years, he had to keep reinventing the dumbbells and other exercise equipment as his strength grew. Bowstrings could only hold so much stone on the ends of metal instruments.
He had switched to piano strings, and that had worked for a good while.
Eventually, he just organized chunks of stones and other debris based on their weight and started using those.
It felt good to use his body.
Every day turned into running, lifting, and reading. Shower off, eat food from the magical dishware that summoned foodstuffs from the ether, then sleep.
Rinse, repeat.
Rinse, repeat.
Rinse, repeat.
The days melted away, months slunk by, and years quietly nodded and left.
From the comfortable remains of the various buildings, he had fashioned an oversized mega-bed near the edge of the realm. He would spend countless hours reading under the trees and gazing out at the passing fantastical landscapes. That part of the realm never failed to amaze him. He had placed it near the remains of the Creepy Greens. Not close enough to be whispered to by the ever-present ghosts, but close enough to smell the refreshing scents of exotic plants.
This was a life.
Simon refused to dwell too deeply on how time was passing, or the implications. Anytime he felt his mind dip into a darker place, he would hop up and work his body to exhaustion.
Was it the healthiest way to address this?
Probably not.
But what was someone to do when locked in a cage for years?
Talking to Melodian was off the table. That god was too busy listening to the realm’s number one radio station to be concerned with mortal matters.
Simon was sure of that.
So, time trudged forward, Simon worked harder, and the avatar questioned his immortality.
—— ? ——
Simon had been waiting for this day.
He had been planning for it.
The realm’s final day.
Simon was sitting in a seat the avatar had thrown at him in despair. It was super comfortable.
He hit the rune to broadcast and began his last daily announcement in the realm.
“Good morning, Melodian’s Realm! It’s a wonderful day today. While the time has just flown by for most of us here, it seems our little vacation has come to an end. All good things must end, and after this announcement, Realm Rocker Radio will come off the air.”
He paused, looking through the glass at the hollow-eyed god. Simon held his gaze as he continued.
“I can’t say this experience has been great. There are so many places I would rather have spent a decade. I have so many questions, but they will need to wait. I know I have been cruel; it’s just the nature of radio folks. Not everyone can hear their favorites, regardless of how many times they request it.” Simon said as he nodded sagely. Defeat had overtaken the god, his face paling.
“But,” Simon said into the microphone slowly, “while there are some horrible things that this realm has gone through, there are still some good. The gym here is great. I will miss that place. The library, while devoid of anything besides musical arts, was a delight. It really could use some novels, combat theory, or…literally anything else. Someone should get the librarian on that, am I right, my adoring audience?” Simon paused for the applause. The whimpering of the avatar was a decent substitute.
“Besides all this! Man, I am going down rabbit holes today. This realm had some okay moments. Out of respect for those moments, we will be doing a Realm Rocker Radio first. A day of silence.”
If looks could perform background checks, Melodian had just pulled Simon’s full report.
Simon smiled.
“That’s right. A day of silence. Thank you all for listening. Let’s let Realm Rocker Radio go out like the way it came in. Silence. Have a great day, folks.”
With that, Simon got off his seat and went through his routine. The realm was deathly silent, and Simon could feel the eyes of the Avatar watching him throughout his workout.
After a run, lifting and a shower, Simon pulled up the prompt he had become old friends with.
—- Notice —-
> TIME CHAMBER ESTABLISHED.
> Realm: Melodian the Magnificent’s Zero to Hero? Training Regime.
> Avatar Presence: Confirmed.
> Objective: Performance Correction.
> Duration: 0h 0m 7s
Melodian believes in you! ~ Remember, practice makes perfect ??
—-—-—-—-
He did some mental math and sighed in relief. This would all be over in less than eight hours.
It was time to take a long nap.
—— ? ——
Melodian stood over the sleeping mortal. Eyes darting in every direction.
This was it?!
It had been months, years, days, months… Melodian had no clue anymore.
But it had been too long since the song had been played.
It wouldn’t let him go this long without it, right?
What?
How?
WHY WASN’T THIS CREATURE OF THE MADNESS PLAYING ANYTHING?!
There was no way.
It was a trick.
A plan.
He had sat there on the seat he had tricked Melo into dropping.
Yes.
The seat that mocked him.
Where was it? Where was the trick?
AGHAGHAHGHAgH
No.
Calm down.
You are.
A god.
Breathe.
Melodian stared at it. It was sleeping. His tormentor was sleeping. This was a whole new level of trickery. It would just let the entire day go by. In silence.
And The Song.
The Song would play in Melo’s mind.
It would play, it would play, and it would play.
Thousands and thousands of times.
The silence.
Genius.
All I must do. Is endure the silence.
Melodian searched through the realm again, trying to figure out what mechanism the creature would use.
Melo gasped in realization.
A day of silence!
To compound his torment, it was going to use the chamber to enforce the silence. It had been secretly engineering and scheming to make it so the entire realm could be put into a bubble of silence.
Of course!!!
Melo would watch the bubbles of silence. He would sit right in the chamber and wait for the Horrific Being of Chaos to come to the chambers.
Then he would stop him.
Somehow.
He had to.
—— ? ——
Simon woke from his nap feeling refreshed. He yawned and stretched and then pulled up the prompt.
—- Notice —-
> TIME CHAMBER ESTABLISHED.
> Realm: Melodian the Magnificent’s Zero to Hero? Training Regime.
> Avatar Presence: Confirmed.
> Objective: Performance Correction.
> Duration: 0h 0m 1s
Melodian believes in you! ~ Remember, practice makes perfect ??
—-—-—-—-
He grinned. He hadn’t been worried about sleeping through the last minutes of the realm.
Simon stood up and whistled his horrible version of Riptide as he did one last lap of the realm. Ten years had seen no improvement, and that was fine with Simon.
—— ? ——
It’s WHISTLING?!
What is that song? Riptide? What does it mean?
Melo looked around the chamber. He was frantic and wild.
He’s coming. I can hear him.
The whistling was growing closer and closer. Melo readied himself for his last stand. He would not let the creature do what it wanted. He would stand!
But the whistling just kept going.
He’s… leaving?!
Melo couldn’t believe it.
Had he been wrong?
What was happening?
Was it over?
The god wept as he let himself fall into the chair.
Time drifted by, and there were only thirty minutes left. The god had sunk low into the chair.
“Oh? Did you think I was serious? JUST KIDDING FOLKS. For the last time, here is the realm’s number 1 hit, coming in at just 54,320 plays, ‘What’s New Pussycat!’”
Melo had frozen, mind broken.
On the construct in front of him, Realm Rocker Radio was playing the longest track it had ever played.
An eight-hour recording of silence, with one announcement and a song.
Recorded five years before.
—— ? ——
Something surprised Simon for the first time in years.
He had gotten an honest-to-goodness system prompt.
—- System Notice —-
> ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
> Name: “What’s New, Melodian?”
> Description: You inflicted minor psychic damage to a divine avatar using only spite, sound design, and an unholy number of Tom Jones choruses. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make a god flinch.
> Reward: + Passive Skill - Weaponized Repetition
> Effect: Repeating a sound excessively can cause microfractures or damage to the world around you.
The first fifty times were annoying. The next thousand were torture. But over fifty thousand?
Are you okay?
—-—-—-—-
As the realm timer hit zero, the world became a blur of green and white energy.
Everything tilted in a way Simon hadn’t experienced in years.
Simon had only one thought.
Neat!
—— ? ——
— AUTHOR NOTICE —
> Thanks for reading!
I'm super excited about the upcoming chapters. Can't wait to share them all :)
~TheBusyBard
Harmony is offered, growth is earned, Limits are unknown.
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