—— ? ——

  Ever had a day where things just refuse to go your way? No matter what you do, the world seems intent on kicking your teeth in. Your car won’t start, so you have to hurry to find a friend or family member to help you get to work, but no one is available. So, of course, you run to the bus station and find out you just missed the rotation, and the next one isn’t for twenty-five minutes.

  But how could life stop there?

  You get to your work, and when you enter, you immediately meet your pissed-off boss. Apparently, a client had already been to your work and needed you desperately. Naturally, only you could fix this issue. At this moment, you are falling further behind, defeated, and simply trying to stay afloat throughout the day.

  After suffering through hours of client frustration and nasty looks from your coworkers, you drag yourself home.

  Only to discover your dog was in the pantry and left you a modern art piece covering the couch.

  A combination of dog refuse, powdered sugar, and delicately sprinkled plastic bag shards that have adhered to the fabric.

  Some days, you just can’t win. So you grab your sugar-fueled, cracked-out doggo and drag them to a clean sleeping surface and pass out. Sometimes the best solution is to just sleep, then face tomorrow.

  Everyone has had days like these. If you haven’t yet, you’re one of the lucky few.

  Fear not; The universe is patiently waiting for the right moment.

  Simon faced an unwinnable day. A rollercoaster of pain, confusion, and random teleportation.

  How could he have predicted his first mistake—forgetting to buy teleportation insurance.

  With the added insurance against a god’s actions, such as:

  Throwing, threatening, murdering, critiquing,

  Oh, and let’s not forget the classic: kidnapping.

  These thoughts ran through Simon’s head as he stared at the glowing prompt dominating his vision.

  —- Notice —-

  > TIME CHAMBER ESTABLISHED.

  > Realm: Melodian the Magnificent’s Zero to Hero? Training Regime.

  > Avatar Presence: Confirmed.

  > Objective: Performance Correction.

  > Duration: 22h 39m 14s

  Melodian believes in you! ~ Remember, practice makes perfect ??

  —-—-—-—-

  Well, this is just great. The only things missing are a welcome packet and a kazoo with my name engraved on it. Simon’s face contorted into a bitter expression while dismissing the prompt.

  Simon shivered as he thought back to the crazed look in Melodian’s eyes. Those types of looks are best observed from far away, with several unbreakable one-way mirrors between you.

  Simon had to give it to the bard god. This remained far superior to Varrax’s domain. He had landed in a wide-open courtyard that had a few large trees and a rolling manicured lawn. The area was full of beautiful flowers and calming scents.

  Looking towards the walls, it appeared to be a large domed greenhouse. It reminded Simon of botanical gardens he had seen online. There were winding paths throughout the entire structure that led to comfortable-looking lounging spots, from beneath trees to cushioned benches. The green-and-white design mirrored Simon’s initial encounter with the god.

  Simon wandered through the garden, taking in the sights and smells.

  Though possibly insane, Melodian designed kick-ass spaces.

  He settled beneath the tree, his eyes drawn to the green glass roof above. He was about to continue mentally praising Melodian when a quiet voice whispered right behind him.

  “You can do ittt….”

  Simon leapt from the ground as if it had burned him. He spun around and stared at the spot where he had just been sitting.

  No further voices.

  Yeah, no thanks. Knock yourself out, Mr. Creepy Voice Tree. He ran, his mind racing.

  He found a bench at the garden’s opposite edge, settling there. Simon’s face scrunched up in thought.

  What was that voice?

  “You got this! Give it another try!” another distinctly unfamiliar voice whispered over his shoulder.

  Simon jumped up and immediately started running towards the door he had noticed while walking.

  Come on. Haunted Garden? What the hell, Melodian? He shouted mentally as he raced towards the door.

  Simon nearly stopped his all-out sprint when the doors opened as he dashed towards them.

  It was fine.

  This is fine.

  Door ghost is the cool one!

  Simon had made it almost thirty feet out the door before he slowed down. He was panting. His retreat from the creepy tree to the furthest point from the door hadn’t helped.

  Catching his breath, he looked out at the white and green path before him. From where he was standing, the entire realm looked like a massive circle. The building behind him made up one of the spokes of a campus “wheel”.

  He scanned and saw a variety of large buildings, each positioned at different sections of the wheel.

  Well, a round wall clock would make more sense, but the buildings stand in place of numbers on the clock. He mused to himself, imagining how the realm would look from above.

  A grandiose tower with dozens of balconies encircling it rose from the center. Simon could count five buildings, not including the haunted garden he had just come from.

  Curious, Simon walked forward on the inner circle path. The area surrounding the paths had many well-maintained bushes, small plants and trees. Their branches, leaves, and trunks came in a variety of pleasing colors.

  Simon did a full loop through the complex. Wherever there was a building, the inner tower had an entrance and a straight path to it that intersected the inner ring. From the inner ring, the path led directly to and past the buildings. Simon’s eyes traced the path past the buildings, where it connected to an outer circle pathway. Attached to the main buildings were smaller structures; they looked like gatehouses. Or maybe where the staff would live.

  Simon shrugged and took one path to the outer edge. He hurried past the potentially haunted main building.

  He guessed it was a playhouse. Where snobby rich people go to pretend like they enjoy opera, and the people who love opera can’t afford to go.

  Reaching the back of the building, he walked onto the outer circle.

  Beyond the pathway was a sight that dazzled his eyes.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  The entire complex was one large dome. Breathtaking vistas of mountains, valleys, waterfalls, and unimaginable worlds whizzed past, surpassing even Simon’s wildest fever dreams. The dome was flying, or had one hell of a theater setup.

  As he watched the scenes drift by, he couldn’t help but stand in awe.

  “It’s a magnificent sight, wouldn’t you say?” The third voice of the day spoke from behind him.

  Simon whirled around and instinctively brought his fists up into a boxing pose. Exhausted from running, he decided he would beat the crap out of the new voice.

  Behind him, arrayed in his usual robe and stupid hat but with added spectacles, was Melodian.

  “YOU.” Simon barked, taking a step towards the god.

  Melodian looked confused.

  “Yes? Were you expecting someone else? Only a one of the main avatars could bring you here.”

  That made Simon pause. Now it was his turn to look confused.

  “Uh… that is about what happened. You went crazy and shredded me with a glowing disc of energy!” Simon shouted at him, but stopped walking towards the avatar.

  Melodian looked insulted

  “You dare to call Melodian the—”

  “Magnificent. Yeah, yeah.” Simon said, cutting Melodian off. “Heard the spiel from your ‘main’ avatar. What the hell does that even mean? Aren’t you Melodian?”

  Simon’s eyes narrowed as he could feel the god’s desire to correct him.

  “The. Mag. ni. fi. cent. Look, I don’t know how you don’t know what happened, but let me summarize. I’m new to this crap and was just minding my own business, living my dumb life when — BAM! — I’m being ‘Integrated’! NEAT! Now I’m meeting a helpful fire god! Cool! Great guy, that one. Then I get thrown into a death cult realm and meet the one and only emo supreme leader, Varrax. Would you believe I was not into the whole ‘slavery but with more steps’ approach from that guy? Then I get thrown into a freaking MOUNTAIN, but I live! Neat! Then, I get dragged into watching the dumbest carnival game ever, which just so happens to be the most important wheel spin of my life. Thrown into a new realm–granted, great job on the flowers and cool moths. Might want to work on the haunted garden in the second realm, but hey, win some, lose some — Finally I get critiqued for several hours, told I’m garbage at everything music-y, everything bard-y just EVERYTHING.” Simon shot out his words like a machine gun.

  He took a deep breath, and Melodian started to speak, but Simon wasn’t done.

  “No-uh. Quiet. I have been listening to you, other gods, the system, and everyone else today. Let. Me. Finish. Then your main avatar moans and starts rambling to himself that: No, there’s no way someone is this bad. No way! Well, guess what? I apparently SUCKKK. Then you, or I guess Not You, but also you. Has anyone mentioned how confusing this all is?! Anyways, then Not-You informs me he has the solution! Nice? Not-You grabs my shoulder, summons a sun of green and white, and then goes, ‘Don’t worry, it won’t hurt! 'You just need time!’ and slams that energy onto my stupid head. News flash: That HURT. So now I ended up here. In a flying dome. With a creepy whispering haunted garden.”

  Simon finished with a deep sigh and deflated as he knelt, then sat back on the soft grass.

  He was tired.

  But damned if he wouldn’t say his piece before “dying” for a second time this day.

  Simon looked up, expecting the rage and subsequent smiting from the god.

  He was honestly a bit surprised to see the look of pity and concern on the Melodian Avatar 2.0’s face.

  Stepping forward, the avatar sat on the path in front of Simon, eyes soft.

  “That is quite a day, little mortal,” he whispered.

  “You’re telling me.” Simon said as he leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

  “Perhaps… we could try this again? I’m not sure of everything that went through the mind of the main avatar, but I would like to start from a place of understanding with you. You see, my purpose is to teach, nurture, and train the ones who come to this place. These hallowed grounds have produced many who have done amazing things. Each hall has forged mortals to tell stories, sing, and play in a manner that even the primes would find to their liking. Although now I’m curious. What did you mean haunted garden?” Melodian 2.0 spoke in a soft but hopeful tone.

  I need a better name for this avatar. Maybe something like Professor Melodian. Simon thought to himself, then replied.

  “That weird garden place that whispers in your ears whenever you hold still.”

  Melodian's face looked confused for a moment, then he laughed. A musical laughter that sounded like several voices in harmony or really well-done auto-tune.

  “Oh! You mean the Echoing Green! Don’t worry your head, mortal.” Melodian shook his head while grinning. “That place is merely a hall of self-affirmations to help those tutored here to recenter themselves while being encouraged,” Melodian 2.0… er… Professor Melodian explained.

  Simon squinted and looked carefully at the god.

  “So it’s like… a creepy form of motivational posters? But instead, voices whisper in your ears?”

  Melodian continued to chuckle but nodded.

  “Well, I personally don’t find it creepy, but some do not find it helpful. But some do. Let me show you these halls, and we can avoid that place. That’s how we designed this realm. There are places here that some will treasure and some will avoid like the plague.” He said as he stood.

  He offered a helping hand to Simon.

  Despite his reservations, Simon took the hand. Of course, the god’s hand felt pleasant. Stupid bards with their charisma, good luck, and all that.

  Simon still felt emotionally and physically drained. But how could he turn away the first helping hand since Glint? He was also pretty sure the little fire god didn’t even have hands.

  Melodian led Simon around the circular paths, calling out the names of the various buildings and explaining each.

  Simon noticed he started the tour at the building next to the echoing greens, but went in the opposite direction from it, conveniently avoiding the haunted garden.

  Nice touch.

  First, there was the ‘Stage of Eternal Auditions’, the opera house-looking structure that would let someone “audition” with any instrument, song, dance, or other pursuit. It had a magical teleprompter that Melodian said would give you as little or as much guidance as you wanted. “Memory” shadows that made up the crowd critiqued and gave feedback on the performance.

  Next was the “Harmonic Library”. Apparently, it contained every book the god knew of musical theory, performance, or any other bardic art. The magical construct would listen to your voice or thoughts and then display books in a massive movable interface.

  Then there was the “Floor of Flowing Time”. Imagine if ‘Dance Dance Revolution’ had a magical sequel, but the floor pad was the entire building. Complete with instructors, settings, pretty much anything you could think of. Simon decided then and there that he would spend most of his hours at this building.

  Next to Cosmic DDR, was a horrible building called “The Laughing Steps.” A comedy club with built-in god powered hecklers and your worst critics.

  No thanks.

  Followed by the “Theater of ‘Truths’” which was similar to the horrifying comedy club.

  Learn to spin that fish tale into a story that will make anyone question if fish that size have been seen in this era. The crowd could be changed to match any demographic desire.

  Story not working on a shadowy version of your spouse and her friends?

  Try it on the good ole boys from the hole-in-the-wall bar downtown.

  If your stories failed to impress your friends at the pub, time to grab an instrument. The next stop was the “Bardic Armory”. It was a large building, but the accessible area was small, containing just a counter with a magical construct. The construct would show a searchable interface where a student could find any instrument Melodian had stocked. There were thousands upon thousands of the things, Simon was shocked at the sheer variety.

  Simon’s feeling of awe at the amount of instruments faded with the next stop on the tour.

  The worst building in the realm, the “Gallery of Growth”.

  This place would allow a student to enter a simulation of any recorded “failure” in this realm. You could relive your embarrassments in full-body immersions! Of course, you would get instruction and explanations, going into excruciating detail.

  Simon decided the gallery was going to the bottom of his building tier list.

  Now if you couldn’t cut it with an instrument, why not try karaoke? They entered the “The Vibrant Voice”, a building focused on the vocal arts, dedicated entirely to using your voice as an instrument. It would help students with their tone, projection, harmony, breath control, and even magical singing. You would stand in isolated sound pillars where drifting vowel shapes and sounds would resonate with your voice. The color would change based on how close you were to matching the note.

  The last two buildings weren’t that interesting to Simon.

  The “Chambers of Noise and Silence” were..

  Chambers that either had noises, music, or sounds, or complete eerie silence.

  And when Melodian said “complete” silence; he meant it.

  It was pretty trippy.

  Then there was the “Ballad Forge”. A supercharged writing lab with mood ring paper and ink. That part was interesting, your writing would visibly display the emotions that you put into it. Then it could be changed to show how others' emotions would read the same words.

  After the forge, Simon and Melodian had nearly made a complete loop as the next building was the Echoing Green then back to the stage.

  Simon was starting to regain some energy. He was ready to spend the next hours in that magical Dance Dance Revolution.

  He turned to the god who had been in full lecture mode, still discussing the benefits of experiencing various sounds from across the realms or different levels of silence. It seemed the chambers of sound and silence were a favorite of the god.

  Simon knew he had to interrupt him as he could hear him about to spin into the second extensive part of his lecture.

  “Oh no, that sounds so riveting. I will definitely have to try it. But I have a quick question.”

  “Could I start the twenty-two hours of training at the uh… Floor of Dancing Times?” Simon asked.

  “Hmmm? Oh, you mean the Floor of Flowing Time. Hmmmm… I guess you could start there for today?” Melodian thoughtfully responded.

  Simon froze.

  “What do you mean today?” He asked, but had a sinking feeling.

  Earlier, Simon had noticed that when notifications left his vision, they ‘slid’ to the side of his view, so he mentally pulled at the list to make it appear.

  A box labeled “Past Notices” popped into the right side of his vision, and he focused on the notice at the top.

  —- Notice —-

  > TIME CHAMBER ESTABLISHED.

  > Realm: Melodian the Magnificent’s Zero to Hero? Training Regime.

  > Avatar Presence: Confirmed.

  > Objective: Performance Correction.

  > Duration: 22h 39m 13s

  Melodian believes in you! ~ Remember, practice makes perfect ??

  —-—-—-—-

  He was sure he had been in this realm for almost an hour. It had felt like it. He was sure.

  His eyes flicked past the glowing notification, landing squarely on Melodian.

  The god’s mouth curled slowly into a smile.

  Calm, deliberate, and eerie.

  Simon’s blood ran cold.

  —— ? ——